Prompt from the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme

Project APOLLO and Project ARTEMIS are experimental AIs designed by the GYAXA robotics centre to prove that robots can take over the most human-orientated of jobs. As such, Project APOLLO is sent to Gavin Law Offices and takes on the name Apollo Justice while training there; meanwhile Project ARTEMIS is taken in by Troupe Gramarye as their newest performer, Trucy Gramarye.

The GYAXA staff just wish the two robots would stop picking up some of the shadier practices of the people they're learning from.

CHAPTER ONE: APOLLO

::: Initialising
::: Location data: unavailable
::: Vocal recognition data: unavailable
::: Initialisation complete

: Triggering appropriate emotional response

"Jesus, Metis, what did you program into these guys?"
He didn't recognise the voices around him. He didn't recognise where he was. Appropriately, that meant he was afraid.
"What do you mean, Aura?
"I mean he's shaking. Don't you think that's too far?"
"Aww, he's scared," a third voice came in. "It's okay there, Apollo. Open your eyes,"
Something touched his eyelid and gently lifted it up, and Apollo saw for the first time. In front of him stood a young man with a shock of black hair, a tall woman with a long ponytail, and a third woman with a visor over her face.

"Diagnostics running properly," the third woman muttered, eyes focused on the visor. "Although someone should probably stop him from shaking so much. Was that necessary, Metis?"
"We wanted to make them human," the ponytailed woman- Metis- said defensively. "Human means fear,"
"Hey, it's okay," said the younger man, peering at him owlishly. "You're fine. Say it with me,"
"You're fine," Apollo repeated dumbly, and the young man snorted.
"No, you're supposed to say 'I'm fine',"
"I'm fine,"
"Good job," the young man praised.

: 'Good job' = praise = appropriate grounds for a smile.
Apollo tugged his lips upwards into a smile, and was greeted with a grin from the man in front of him.
"He smiled at me!" he said triumphantly.
"Aww, that's so sweet, Clay," Metis said.
"Yeah, you finally found a friend," muttered the third woman- Aura.
"Oh, can it," the one called Clay said.
"Keep talking to him," Metis said, standing by a monitor. "I want to see what he does,"
"Do you know your name?" Clay asked him, and Apollo considered.

::: GYAXA mainframe
::: AI system
::: TWINS [root directory]
::: Project APOLLO

"I'm Apollo," he answered after a pause.

"Computing time's a bit slow," Aura commented, "but we can tweak that,"
"That's right, you're Apollo," Clay said, and offered his hand. "I'm Clay. Nice to meet you,"
Apollo considered the hand for a moment before raising his own to meet it, noting the mess of wires trailing from an open panel. He shook Clay's hand.
"Nice to meet you, Clay,"

"Do you know where you are?" Clay asked him. Apollo hesitated.
:::GYAXA mainframe
:::Tourist guidance system
:::Information
"The GYAXA Space and Science Centre," Apollo responded. "The hotspot for all things science!"
"Did he just quote our ad?" Metis asked with a laugh, and Clay snickered.
"Well, he's not wrong. This is the testing room at the GYAXA Centre,"
:'Not wrong' = right = praise = appropriate grounds for a smile
He smiled, and Clay beamed again.
"He keeps smiling at me, I think he likes me," he said.
"Clay, he's not Oliver and he's not a dog. Get out of his face,"
"But I'm having a conversation with him!"
"I've had better conversations with Siri," Aura complained. "Ask him something interesting, Clay. We want to make this impressive for Director Cosmos,"
"Yeah, yeah," Clay muttered. "So, Apollo, uh...what's your favourite colour?"
"Imaginative," Aura smirked. Apollo thought on it.

"I don't really have one," he decided. "I would need experiences to associate with each colour before I could decide on a favourite,"
"Now he's worse than Siri," Aura cut in. "I'm demoting you to that old annoying voice that accidentally triggers on ancient computers if you press the wrong key too many times,"
"You can't demote me if I do not have an official position," Apollo told her, and there was a pause before the woman named Metis laughed.
"He's got you there, Aura,"
"Goddamnit, I'm being sassed by a robot," Aura groused. Clay sniggered.

"I like you, Apollo," he decided. "I vote we be friends,"
"He's a robot!" protested Aura. Apollo paused.
"What are the requirements of being friends? I wouldn't want to commit to something I can't uphold,"
"Oh, that's adorable," Clay breathed. "There's no requirements except being friendly to eachother. And if you don't know what that means, look it up. You in?"
Apollo hesitated.
"Okay," he said, and Clay grinned.
"Sweet," he said, raising his fist, and Apollo regarded it cautiously. Was Clay intending to punch him?
"Please don't strike me," Apollo said, and Clay blinked.
"Oh, wow, of course not. Fist bump time," he said, wrapping his fingers around Apollo's hand and shaping it into a fist, then knocking their knuckles together. "It's something friends do,"
"Okay," Apollo said.
:'Friends' = appropriate grounds for a smile

"Okay, you can shut him off again," Aura said. "I think I just found a typo in his coding, and I ought to fix it now,"
"Aww," Clay complained.
"Come on, Clay," Metis said. "We've got to make sure he's perfect,"
:::Adding new directive criteria
:"Make sure to be perfect"
"So soon, though?" Clay wheedled.
"Hurry up, Clay," Aura snapped, and Clay sighed.
"I have to put you back to sleep now, Apollo," he said. "Is that okay?"
"Would it matter if it was not?" Apollo asked him, and Clay stared.
"Uh...yes. Please don't say that again, that was creepy as hell,"
"Aura," instructed Metis, "pull whatever it is that made him say that,"
"What, you don't want him obeying instructions?"
"No, I don't want him being all existential about it,"
"Fine," grunted Aura. "Hurry up and shut him down,"

Clay looked at him cautiously and reached down to Apollo's wrist, where a panel sat open.
"You'll be fine, buddy," Clay reassured him, tapping at something in Apollo's wrist. "Close your eyes, okay?"
"Okay," Apollo said, obediently closing his eyes.
"You think we should make the same edits to Artemis?" Metis' voice echoed.
"Definitely," Clay said. "Weren't we looking to make her the less formal of the two?"
"I think Apollo will fail at formality with you as his mentor," Aura grunted, tapping away at her keyboard. "Hey, Ponco,"
"Yes, Mama Aura?"
"Grab me those notes over there,"
"Which ones?"
"The ones I'm pointing to, you moron. This is why Apollo is better than you,"
"Don't be like that, Aura," Metis cajoled. "It's okay, Ponco. We love you,"
"I know, Mama Metis,"
"Clay, hurry up!" snapped Aura.
::: Shutting down.