Title: Starting Over

Pairing: Well, several. Jean/Logan and Scott/Emma for sure. Maybe a bit of Kitty/Colossus and Rogue/Remy for fun and flair. We'll see what we get into. :)

Rating: T at the beginning (mainly for language, because dude...seriously...Logan swears a lot.), M (for fluff, maybe?) later on.

Author's Note: I'm lucky there's diddly going on at work. And I'm in a mood. Yay #redshipping!

Sometimes the thing we want most is the thing we're least prepared for. And sometimes? Sometimes it's the thing that scares us the most.

James Howlett, aka Wolverine to the world at large, aka Logan to those who actually knew him, did not particularly give much thought to how his days were going most of the time. If he got out alive and could get a beer, it was a win. And who could ask for more?

But today, of all days, with nothing going on...today had become both the best day of his life and the worst day of his life, all in the span of one soft chuckle. Was it normal to recognize a person by a chuckle?

Probably not, but there it was.

Aw, hell...

"Jean, if that's you, don't hang up, darlin'."

Please.

Logan wondered if he was imagining the hesitation in the silence, projecting how he knew Jean would be chewing on her lip and trying to debate what to say. He wasn't prepared, as much as he'd thought, for her voice coming through the cell phone.

"Hi, Logan. I know it's...it's been awhile, and if you don't want to talk to me I get it."

A pause. He felt desperate to know if her toes were curling and twitching in time to Moonlight Sonata. It was a go to for when she was anxious.

"Well, I ain't hangin' up just yet."

The sigh of relief coming from the phone gave him chills. He found a stump to sit on, not wanting to have to focus on anything but the person on the other end of this connection.

"I...I don't know where to begin, or even how. It'll take a lot to repair what I've done, but it's my fault for it. I'm sorry about all the damage I caused when I was here last. It never should have happened, no matter what started it." Jean paused again, and Logan had to double check his phone to be sure the call was still active.

"I can't exactly make it up to everybody. I'm going to try, though. I figured I would start with the one person who might listen to me for a minute before, understandably, trying to track me down."

Logan's lips pursed briefly in confusion.

"I don't know what you're gettin' at, Jeannie. Make up for what, exactly?"

A swallow, and then, "It's a long list. Not sure we've got time, but you know the high spots on my record. I'm tired of this, Logan. I'm tired of this stupid back and forth. I'm tired of getting my chain yanked by every idiot out there who thinks it's funny to set the Phoenix Force off in some genocidal direction."

Jean huffed, her voice rising as she continued.

"I have to be responsible for it. So fine, I am. But this is on my terms. Not going nuts, not getting pulled around by others, not being split into 50 million pieces and summoned at the insistence of people who should know better. I'm done with screwing around. I'm not a toy anymore."

Logan didn't bother suppressing the grin that spread across his face. Nobody would see, anyway, where he was in Blue Mountain Reservation. If he believed in God, he'd be sending up praises that he'd decided to go for a hike today.

"You always were a spitfire, Red. I'd be pissed too, with everything. And don't feel too bad about last time. It was just a surprise, seein' ya naked and alive. Not something I expected during my waking hours, if you feel me."

"True, but you were right about one thing, Logan. It's always a question of what the Phoenix came back to burn. I think...I think maybe I can come to an answer that doesn't result in deaths this time."

"I'd like that. I'm sure the rest of them would, too."

The bark of laughter from the phone thrilled him far more than it should. Making Jean laugh had always been a favourite pastime.

"I can't think that either Scott or Emma will look too kindly upon me being back. The others, maybe, but Scott..."

He felt his stomach clench at the way the sentence hung. Always the boy scout, every damn time. He rambled out the first idea in his head, desperate to keep her from falling into old, familiar patterns.

"Where are ya? We could, I dunno, meet for coffee if you're not across the world."

It was a gamble, to be sure, but what else could he be?

Another chuckle from the phone. "You know I'm not going to tell you where I am, as much for your sake as for mine."

Another pause, and he thought the silence might be the one thing to do him in after all these years.

"However, we could meet in, say, 4 hours? In New York City? How about by Gapstow Bridge?"

"Done. I'll see ya there, darlin."

Logan wondered if she smiled at the idea and hoped desperately that she was.

"Alright, see you soon."

Logan stretched, agitated and twitchy. It occurred to him that Scott may consider him a traitor for not informing the X Men that Jean was back, and apparently with the Phoenix Force as well.

Fuck 'em.

There was a part of him that, yes, was worried about the world ending again and everybody having to take Jean out. It was always a possibility, and no matter what it would be hell. And he'd do the honors again himself if he had to, hating every second of it.

However...

The majority of James Howlett was selfish and exultant at the fact that she called him before any others. It was such a little thing, but it was something. And no matter the pain, he couldn't stop himself from hoping that maybe this time, it'd all turn out okay.