Author's Note:
This is both a HP reworking of "Back to the Future" themes, and a soft reboot/reworking of the time travel tale "Hair of the Grim" by Nightmare Sired Muse. It also contains many concepts, lines and situations from the grab-bag that is "Odd Ideas" by Rorschach's Blot. Used with the permission of their original authors (except for "Back to the Future" of course). The Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I do not own Harry Potter or anything else. Full disclaimer in the Table of Contents.
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Rated M for some violence, language, drug use and sexual references. Nothing explicit.
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Canon-compliant. HP&DH compliant (except the Epilogue). HP&CC compliant (except the conclusion). FB&WTFT compliant. Pottermore compliant (mostly). Some crossover with: Naruto, Ranma ½, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Twilight, Lord of the Rings and Avatar: The Last Airbender. Primarily Harry Potter though.
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Recommended Fanfiction of the Week: "The Chaos Theory" by Bullwinkle's Lady.
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Question of the Week: What's the best explanation for Sally-Ann Perks' disappearance that you've ever heard?
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Chapter 29 – Fortress Great and Mighty Lord Daimyō Mr Peter Pettigrew-Potter-Black-Malfoy-Sama Sir and His Wives and Concubines and Servants Too, and Also Dobby (FGAMLDMPPPBMSSSAHWACASTAAD)
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The pit is it. Those crazy contraptions can't create the kind of classic catastrophe one can cause by a calamitous crater.
– Team Rocket
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The girls sensed a sudden pulse of magic, thunder without sound, in their wizarding tent.
Feels like you've just arrived from the future, Lily Luna commented. And have taken to squatting in my private, personal mindspace once again.
It wasn't my fault! huffed Ginny. I didn't ask to be here, I enjoy being alone in my own headspace just as much as you, thankyou very much! If you're going to blame anyone, blame my halfwitted brother and my moronic boyfriend sidekick.
You know, I may just do that, Lily Luna mused as they entered the tent. There lay her Past-Self, twitching and convulsing in an alarming manner.
The half-conscious girl groaned and managed to sit up. Her eyes watered, and she reached up to rub her temple.
The gestalt approached. "Are you alright?"
"Whzarppldrple …"
"The dizziness will pass soon," Ginny said reassuringly, speaking from experience. Eventually the girl opened her eyes fully to gaze in confusion around the tent. Ginny/Lily Luna gave her her time and space to adjust to the new surroundings.
After a minute of silent contemplation, the girl shrieked and lurched upright. She fell out of bed, righted herself from the floor, and staggered towards the door, arms flailing convulsively. "What in the name of Godric's glibbering gobstobbers is going on!?" the redhead yelled.
Quickly! Kikyō instructed, you've got to snap her out of her panic attack or she'll wake the entire camp! And that will raise all sorts of unneeded questions!
Lily Luna took two steps forward and administered four firm slaps to the girl's cheeks. Surprisingly, the rough treatment seemed to work; the redhead's chocolate eyes re-focused, zeroing in on her tormentor.
"What in the name of Merlin's saggy left lobe is your problem?" she demanded angrily. Then her tone abruptly changed to shaken confusion. "Mum? Is that you?"
"She's seeing things," Ginny commented. "Do you think a few more hits will cure her?" she asked thoughtfully.
I suppose it couldn't hurt, Kikyō agreed.
"You're right, it couldn't hurt." She gave another quick slap to the girl's cheek. "Now have you two pulled yourselves together yet? I'd like to stop hitting myself," Ginny demanded.
Rolling to the side and springing to her feet, the girl drew her wand and aimed it threateningly at Lily Luna/Ginny, an unholy fire dancing in her brown eyes, cheeks flushed in rage. "You have five seconds to explain before I start hexing, Slapper," she snapped coldly.
It appears she is properly with us now, said Kikyō in satisfaction. Time to pass me over to her.
"All will be revealed by this artefact," Lily Luna replied soothingly, fishing the Jikan o Rōhi Suru ka no Kyandoruhorudā from her robe pocket. The little golden shintai gleamed in the dim light. She transferred Kikyō's spirit into it. Its blue flickering flame burned with a cold ethereal light. The girl's eyes were immediately drawn to the light. Lily Luna raised the candle up to face-level, then extinguished it, blowing the purple wisps of smoke into the girl's face. The girl sneezed, then staggered backwards, eyes rolling upwards into her head. Ginny leaned forward and seized the girl's shoulders, gently guiding her back down onto the bed. "Just rest," Ginny whispered. "It'll all make sense soon." Lily Luna placed the girl's wand on the bedside table and quietly slipped out of the tent, locking the doorway on the way out.
And they're off to the races. Now that that's done, we can retrieve Present-Kikyō from Robbie, commented Ginny.
What are we going to do with her while she pulls her physical form back together again? mused Lily Luna.
Ginny shrugged. I don't really mind having her in here with us. She's a bottomless mine of useful information about this place and its history and magics. And if I have to share my brain with one person, well, what's one more?
Agreed. It does seem strangely quiet and empty without her snipping orders here and there.
They approached Robbie, standing alone on guard over their row of wizarding tents. Using the shintai once more, the girls transported Kikyō's spirit from the orange golem back into their shared mindspace. Robbie's eyes returned to their malevolent glowing yellow, but he continued his silent vigil without protest.
So, when are you going to tell Harry, or Peter, or whatever, your boyfriend that you're in here? inquired Lily Luna. And your brother and Aunt Hermione?
Ginny blanched. I'm … I'm not sure … it's just … I'm not comfortable revealing myself to him in this … this state, she said vaguely. I'd rather wait for the time being … I need some time. You know, to get my head on straight first. This … this isn't really a dream or hallucination is it?
I wish I could tell you otherwise, but no. We're stuck with each other for now.
I was afraid you'd say that ... I'll tell him after … after we get ourselves into separate bodies.
I don't think he'll mind you know; he's hardly in a position to judge other people for inhabiting bodies not their own!
I recommend not delaying too long, Kikyō advised. I am not an expert on relationships, but trust me on this one thing: hiding secrets and withholding facts from your partner does not end well … it never does …
The two girls were startled at the ghost's uncharacteristic moroseness.
Do you … do you want to talk about it? asked Lily Luna tentatively.
Kikyō sighed. I appreciate the offer but … it was almost 1000 years ago now, it is ancient history. Everyone involved has passed on into the sacred realm. Except me.
It doesn't sound like it's bygones in your heart, Lily Luna said gently.
Perhaps … perhaps some other time, my child. Though I thank you for your compassion for an old soul.
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The remaining members of the HA stood on the platform and watched the train being loaded.
"Just unbelievable," opined Lily, shaking her head.
"Why are you so surprised? We have the Hogwarts Express in Magical Britain," Narcissa responded.
"The Hogwarts Express wasn't used to transport cranes, two-ton trucks and other heavy construction equipment to Hogsmeade," Lily replied, pointing to where the huge vehicles were being levitated onto flatcars. "Besides, Magical Britain is only stuck in the Georgian Era (with a bit of the Tudors thrown in," she muttered to herself, glancing at her Lady Black Ring), "the wild regions of Mahōnihon are supposed to be living in the medieval period! Why do they need construction vehicles, military jeeps, satellite dishes, radio headsets, surveillance cameras and all the rest? I think I even saw boxes of rocket-launchers in there as well! What on earth are they going to do with real, honest-to-Merlin rocket launchers!?"
"They're going to fight a war, I presume," Harry said, arriving on the platform to join them. The bystanders drew back fearfully at the seven-foot black-cowled monstrosity that floated along beside him. Another one floated behind the pair, guarding their rear. They strolled through the parted crowds like Moses through the Red Sea. "Seems the Japanese magicals don't have the same prejudices against using muggle technology as we Europeans. The Emperor told me that there's a long-standing agreement between the muggle Japanese Self-Defence Forces and the daimyō of the wild regions to keep them and their Hidden Villages supplied with the best and latest of muggle military hardware. All of this stuff is from the JSDF I'd wager. Ensures the Magical Council's allies in the interior are more heavily armed than all their enemies, and all that. So if you guys could keep Lily Luna from nicking the rocket-launchers, I would really appreciate it. Neither Hermione nor I really need an international incident breaking out right now."
"Getting' awfully friendly with the hell-beasts, ain't we Pettigrew?" Mary commented, eyeing the Dementors warily.
"Walking around with Khamûl and Adûnaphel means never having to wait in line ever again!" he joked. "Or being crowded by other people, or being asked for your ticket, or being asked whether you're over 18, or being told this is a restricted area, or being told that that item doesn't belong to you, or being told to accompany the nice officer to the station, or being told that the men in white coats want to have a word with you …"
"We get it," Remus broke in.
"Once you've spent as much time as I have around dark wizards and basilisks and snakes and dragons and hippogriffs, a few Dementors just seem blasé and par for the course." Harry shrugged. "And Khamûl and her bootlickers did help save our bacon in Kyōto. Besides, when you're not gibbering and jabbering in existential terror at her aura, Khamûl is a very interesting conversationalist. Apparently she had to pretend to be a man for 20 years in order to be eligible to inherit her throne."
"Typical male chauvinism," sniffed Mary. "Good on ye lass, fer stickin' it out."
"Speaking of which, why aren't we 'gibbering and jabbering in existential terror' right now?" asked Narcissa, peeking around Sirius' shoulder.
"Khamûl and Adûnaphel are restraining the Black Breath as much as they can. Seems it's like Veela allure, they can control how much or how little of their aura they project around them."
"So what's this one's story?" asked Mary, jabbing her finger at the shyer mind-rending hell-monster.
"This is Adûnaphel the Quiet, the other witch-queen amongst the eight royals. I don't know anything else, they don't call her 'the Quiet' for nothing. Khamûl does all her talking for her."
"Can we call Khamûl something else please?" said Lily impatiently. "Saying that thing's name all the time makes me feel like we're shilling cigarettes or something."
"Sure, take your pick: Shadow of the East; Black Queen of Rhûn; the Easterling; She of the Unlight; Hell-Hawk; Fell Rider; the Ghost of the Forest; the Dark Marshal of Mordor; the Daemon of Dol Guldur; the Lieutenant of Carn Dûm –"
"Stop! Is something that doesn't sound like the lyrics of a death metal song too much to ask for?"
The Dementor gave a hiss and a rattle. It was hard to tell whether it was of pleasure, interest, fury, contempt, or apprehension. Harry nodded attentively. The Japanese bystanders shuddered and drew further away.
"She says she was also called Attëa by a bunch of elves. How's that?"
"Much better, thankyou. In fact, it's a lovely name. What's it mean?"
"No idea, I'm not an elf. Why don't you ask Dobby or Kreacher? Which reminds me – Dobby! Kreacher!" Harry knelt down so he could address his two house elves at eye-level. "Dobby, Kreacher. I have a very important mission for you. It's super-critical to the outcome of everything, do you understand?"
The ancient elf looked indifferent, but Dobby's eyes grew larger than dinner-plates.
"I need you to accompany Lily, Remus, Mary and Lily Luna and protect them from any dangers. Do you understand?"
"That really isn't necessary," Lily remarked. "I think we're more than capable of managing by ourselves. Why not take them with you instead? Seems like the bouncy one would prefer that."
Remus chuckled ruefully. "Speak for yourself. I think we could use all the help we can get. We're a bunch of ill-informed gaijin heading into the wildest and most lawless regions of an unknown continent, who don't understand the culture, can't read or write the script, have magical skills equivalent to somewhere between their genin and chūnin, and our combat skills are probably equivalent to one of their 11 year olds! What's not to like?"
"Surely we'll handle ourselves a tad better than that," Mary objected, her boundless self-confidence rearing its head.
"I don't know, Mare. Face it, in spite of the training gauntlet Flitwick and HA have wrung us through, we're still a bunch of pampered soft rich kids from a soft rich country," the werewolf warned. "These kids have been raised to fight and kill from the age of four, in a harsh and unforgiving world."
"Just don't let them get near you," Narcissa advised. "Their ranged weapons are throwing knives, stars and bomb-pellets, according to Professor Maniaku; should be easy enough to dodge or shield against those, we've spent plenty of time in the HA practising it. But if one gets up-close-and-personal, they could vivisect you before you can say Finite!"
"Dobby, Kreacher, if one of those ninjas gets up close to my friends in a threatening way, you throw them clear into the next Nation, y'hear!"
"Dobby understands, Mighty and Dread Magister Mundi Peter Pettigrew sir," he breathed reverently. "Dobby will exert his every energy to his dying breath!" the little elf stated, eyes shining with tears and unable to come up with words to tell the greatest wizard that ever existed how great he was. Kreacher rolled his eyes in disgust at such a shameful display.
"Pandora, Apolline and Naho are with Dumbledore and the Order, so they'll be safe enough. Sirius, Narcissa, Tonks and I will be in nice, normal, boring, mundane Japan. I'd feel a lot safer if you four had house elf backup, just as an extra precaution." Harry stated firmly to his friends. He placed his bag of holding onto the platform and opened it up. "Now the only other thing left on my list to take care of is … ah! Here you go Moony, drink them in good health!"
"What are these?" Remus asked curiously, accepting the rack filled with dozens of vials of a strange bluey-silvery potions.
"Nothing much," said Harry casually, "just a brand-new highly-experimental potion for your little furry problem. It's called Wolfsbane; not a cure for the curse, but it does alleviate the worst of the symptoms: eases the pain of the lycanthropic transformations, allows you to keep your rational mind while in the wolf-state, and so on."
Remus stared at Harry, stared at the potions, stared at Harry again.
"That reminds me, I haven't taken my own potions today," Harry fished two vials of viscous green liquid out of his robe pocket. "Cheers!" And threw them down the hatch, wincing at the bitter taste.
"Explain!" Moony demanded hoarsely.
"Hmmm? Oh, the Wolfsbane? Invented by Damocles Belby a year or two ago, a former Slug Club member if I remember rightly. It's basically aconite which has been treated in the light of the full moon for several months. There's a bunch of other steps but I can't remember. Here's a list of instructions if you want to brew your own."
Remus numbly accepted the scroll. "Why have I never heard of this before?"
"Didn't I mention the 'brand-new' and 'highly-experimental' bit?"
"Are ye sure that's safe to drink?" asked Mary dubiously. "I'll not have me bairns poisoning himself over one of your or Pandora's experiments."
"It's perfectly fine, he's been imbibing the stuff since the beginning of term!"
"What!?"
"Had the elves slip it into your food and drink. You have to take a gobletful each day of the week leading up to the full moon. Don't forget that. What's with those looks? Don't tell you hadn't noticed your transformations have been a lot easier these past two semesters, Moony?"
"Of course I've noticed, you numptie! Why didn't you ever tell me? It's been driving me nuts trying to figure out what had changed!"
"Aha, so the mystery of what you get up to whenever you're not in classes, studying or doing your HA research or training, is finally solved!"
"Wormtail," the werewolf growled warningly.
Flee! advised the Dormouse.
"I didn't tell you because I was waiting to see if it had any effect!" Harry said hastily, taking several steps backwards as a precaution. "I assumed that if it was working you'd immediately talk to your fellow Marauders about it. Get your friends to help you work out what was going on; I was going to reveal all then. Guess I was wrong."
Remus abruptly deflated. "I … I was going to tell you guys … but … I dunno … I just wanted to figure out what was going on first …" he trailed off.
Both boys shuffled in embarrassment.
Lily, Mary and Narcissa shared a look that plainly said, Men, what can you do with such morons?
Khamûl the Easterling and Adûnaphel the Quiet had seemingly become bored with the conversation, for the terrifying creatures silently floated down into the bag and disappeared, to the immense relief of the inhabitants of the train station.
"Will you stop carrying that horrible bag around please, Peter? It's really disgusting," Lily complained, as Harry closed it up and stowed it away in his back pocket.
"But it's got all my equipment in it!"
"Then could you at least transfigure it into something else – like a flowery purse, or one of those brooches that open up?"
"I don't know if it's a good idea to try to transfigure an experimental one-of-a-kind enormous Expanded Space into something else," Harry replied slowly. "You're the theory expert, what do you think?"
Lily pondered that technical and academic problem with all the gusto that her mighty brain could muster. Before she could offer her informed opinion, however, a sharp, high-pitched train whistle pierced the heavens like a drill.
"Guess that's our cue ta be off!" Mary declared. "See ye in a week!" With a royal wave, she stepped lightly into the nearest carriage. Remus trotted after her in a daze, clutching his precious rack of potions to his chest. Lily Luna and Tonks dashed out of the crowd, late as usual. A quick embrace, and the redhead was up and into the train, giving the rest of the group on the platform a distracted wave goodbye. Tonks strolled over to join the group on the platform.
Harry felt his eyebrows raising. Lily Luna had been actually awful strange the last couple of days. And if he didn't know any better, he'd think she were avoiding him.
"I still don't know why you're bothering to travel by that contraption. Why can't we have Fawkes flash us to our destinations in an instant, like he did with the others?" Sirius inquired.
"Ehehe …" Harry scratched the back of his head, while Lily shifted uncomfortably.
"The thing is," Lily began sheepishly, "Fawkes is still a little upset with Peter and I … he's refused to take us anywhere by phoenix-fire."
"You managed to get blacklisted by a Creature of Light?" Tonks demanded in amazement. "How? Did you perform Dark Arts in front of him?"
"You know … for kinda … shaving him bald and painting him with polka-dots …"
"So as a result, ye'll take the high road and we'll take the low road, and we'll be in Konoha afore ye," Mary called out, head poking out of the carriage window.
"That about sums it up, yes."
"That's all well and good," Sirius objected, "but what about the rest of us? We didn't have anything to do with your shenanigans! Why can't the bloody bird take us and leave you two delinquents behind?"
"'Delinquents'? That's pretty rich coming from you, Padfoot," Harry snarked.
"It doesn't matter if you were involved or not – Fawkes apparently considers the rest of you fellow Marauders and guilty by association. Even Mary, Narcissa and Lily Luna," Lily sighed.
"So how come Pandora and Apolline got first-class tickets on the flaming express?" demanded Sirius. "While you have to put up with this flamin' express?" He gestured to the 19th-century steam engine in front of them.
"Pandora can talk her way into getting anything she wants. Believe me, I know," Harry said. "Apolline's the same. Maybe as a fellow Light bird, she and Fawkes have a special understanding or something, who knows?"
"It's probably for the best," Narcissa added. "We don't want to risk Lily and Apolline being left together unsupervised again do we? Not after what happened last time. Imagine what sort of havoc they'd wreak out here!"
"Why you little!" Lily made a lunge for the youngest Black daughter, who shrieked with laughter and dived behind her Sirius-shield.
There was no time for further exploration of the issue. The train whistled a second time and, with a quick hug for Harry, Lily dashed up the stairs and into the carriage. Harry, Sirius, Tonks and Narcissa waved as the locomotive began to chug away. Mary and Lily Luna leaned out their window and waved back.
"All aboard the Magical Ninja Train!" Lily Luna yelled. "We're going off the rails on our ninja train!"
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Travel by phoenix-fire was by far the greatest form of transportation in the world, decided Hi-no-Kagutsuchi Naho. The magical bird had somehow been able to read her memories and emotions of her home and family as it perched upon her shoulder. She could feel the creature's warm, sympathetic presence floating through her mind as she remembered birthdays and full moon festivals and bouncing her cousin Shizuna on her lap. From these scattered images and feelings, it was somehow able to deduce the location of the Hi-jo, the castle of Hi-no-Kuni, the Daimyō of the Land of Fire, and drag the entire coterie directly there in a matter of seconds.
Their sudden appearance in the main dining hall in the middle of lunch alarmed the security staff greatly, and a fire-fight almost broke out. Fortunately, through some fast talking on her part and her uncle and aunt's recognition of her, the crisis was averted. Presentation of the Emperor's letter further smoothed any ruffled nerves, and the party was quickly invited to join the repast.
It turned out that the Emperor was indeed correct (as if there were ever any doubt!) that civil war was brewing. The excited chatter on the grapevine was that the Fourth Great Shinobi World War was only months away from breaking out, if not less. The Five Kages of the Five Nations of the ninja world were currently en route to a summit to address the issue and marshal their combined strength. It was quickly decided that the English emissaries attend this summit as their own delegation, to offer insight regarding the interloping European forces. And her place was with the emissaries. Sadly saying farewell to baby Shizuna and her Aunt Shijimi, she promised she would visit at her next opportunity. Which, if the alarming rumours were any indication, may not be for a long time.
The phoenix again did its special trick, perching upon the shoulder of her uncle and concentrating for a time. Then with a triumphant trill, it spread its magnificent crimson and gold tail feathers for them all to grasp. Another flash of fire, and they were in the Land of Iron, outside a large stone building. Surrounded by heavily-armoured samurai. Again, their sudden appearance in a flash of flame almost started the second fire-fight of the day. Again, fortunately, the crisis was averted. The Hi-no-Kuni was recognised, and his word combined with the Emperor's recommendation saw them ushered into the highest-security wing of the structure, the location of the Kage's meeting, which had apparently only begun this very morning.
Which led to herself, Pandora Lovegood and Apolline Delacour stuck here in the anteroom with the rest of the nobodies – against their vocal protests – waiting to be called upon if needed. While her uncle and the British leader, Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts and his six lackeys from the Order of the Phoenix were permitted inside the inner sanctum of power to plot with the other Kages.
"Zis is so unfair," fumed Apolline, pacing back and forth furiously. Sparks literally shot from her eyes and fingernails from time to time, making it appear as though she were caught in a tornado of static electricity. The other nobodies, peons, bureaucrats and paper-pushers nervously shifted as far as they could get to the other side of the room. "'Ow can zey do zis to me – ME! I am Lady Apolline Margueritte Delacour! I am a Baroness of Magical France! I am not one of zese pathetic drones who cower and cringe and infest zis hellish barbarian land," she gestured towards the other inhabitants clustered at the other end of the room.
Some glowered at her for the brazen insult, but none were brave enough to call her out. Nor were they brave enough to protest at Pandora busily rearranging the Spartan furnishings for better feng shui.
Naho nodded. The fiery Veela was only articulating what they were all thinking.
"But noooo, zat means nothing to zese peegs – we are in Mahōnihon, a place ruled by imbeciles. Any other country and zis so-called 'world war' would've been dealt with by now. Eet eez astounding zat zese nations even exist; per'aps an interesting research topic for our lovely scientist."
Eventually, Apolline tired of her BF. With a delicate sigh, she slipped daintily onto the seat beside her companions. "You know me – I am not one to ramble on and on and take forever to get to ze point." Naho hastily agreed. "I can only 'ope zat Pierre, Sirius and Pandora's mission is progressing more satisfactorily zan ours!"
"We can only hope," Pandora replied airily. "In the meantime, I would appreciate it if we could use this dead-time to get up to speed on what's going on …"
"What would you like to know?" asked Naho, folding her arms demurely. "As your guide, one of my roles is to ensure you are supplied with the information you desire."
"How about telling us what in Merlin's name a 'Kage' is, Naho-san?"
"Just Naho, please. A Kage is in essence a Shadow-Lord. In the sense that, they are the shadow rulers of the wild regions. The regions are divided up into five major nations and galaxy of smaller city-states, tribes or independent villages. Each of the Five Nations is named after the dominant chakra techniques they specialise in: Fire, Earth, Water, Wind and Lightning, derived from the 'bending' affinities they claim to have inherited from the Four Empires they declare their descent from. A nation is ruled by a daimyō, my uncle is the daimyō of the largest and most powerful of the Nations. But each daimyō also patronises a particular major ninja village in their demesne. There are lots of tiny villages of ninja dotted all over the place, but they don't matter politically. We're currently in the Land of Iron, one of those insignificant places – it's like neutral territory for the Kages. The only villages that matter are the five sponsored by the daimyō, usually referred to as 'Hidden Villages' because they're somehow supposed to be secret. I do not know why such a fiction is maintained, since everybody in the wild regions knows where they're located. In any case, the strongest ninja of each so-called 'Hidden' Village is elected by the local clans and endorsed by the daimyō. This person runs the village and nation on behalf of the daimyō. Hence, a shadow ruler, or Kage. In short: the nations report to the clans, the clans report to the Hidden Village councils, the Hidden Village councils report to the Kages, the Kages report to the daimyō, and the daimyō report to the Emperor."
"So that letter of introduction from the Emperor …"
"As good as gold in these lawless regions, where the only authority that actually has any real legitimacy is that of the Emperor, the daimyō and (to a much lesser extent) the Kages …"
From the distance, they could hear loud crashes, shouting, screaming and explosive blasts, getting gradually closer. The other attendants in the room began to mutter nervously amongst themselves. The door crashed open and a faceless samurai burst in. "Akatsuki! They're here!" he shouted, before disappearing again. Immediately, panic ensued. The other inhabitants of the room fled for their lives, falling over each other in their haste to evacuate the building.
"Who are zese 'Akatsuki', Naho?" demanded Apolline. "And why are people losing zeir minds over it?"
"Terrorists," Naho summarised succinctly. "Started out as a simple mercenary outfit, and gradually evolved into one of the insurrectionist groups trying to overthrow the Kages. And most likely allies of your Lords Grindelwald and Voldemort."
That got a reaction. Lovegood and Delacour immediately sprang into duelling stances, wands raised.
"So they're here because …"
"I would hazard a guess that they are here to assassinate the Kages. And massacre the rest of us."
"That's all I need to hear: magical girls, Unite!" bellowed Pandora. The two Europeans moved together beside Naho, into a battle formation they had practiced many times in the HA.
Wands brandished, the three mahōshōjo prepared to fight for their lives.
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WAR IN KYŌTO! DARK LORD GRINDELWALD AND HIS SQUIB GHOST PET FAIL TO OVERTHROW JAPANESE MAGICAL AND MUGGLE GOVERNMENTS!
Fearsome Invading Force of Inferii! Dark Lords and Barbarian Allies Try to Destroy Japanese Magical Council and Fail Miserably! Are They Likely to Return to Britain as a Result?
By Rita Skeeter and Bea O'Problem
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Lily, Mary and Remus (who seemed to be joined at the hip these days), and Lily Luna and Ginny (joined rather more literally) watched as the construction crews swiftly rebuilt what was once Konoha-gakure no Sato, the village hidden by leaves, but was now a half-filled hole in the ground.
"One man," Remus breathed, shaking his head in awe at the enormous crater. "One single, solitary ninja was able to level this entire city by himself in the course of an hour or two … what have we got ourselves into, ladies?"
"Well, Lord Pein of the Akatsuki was an exceptional ninja," one of their Leaf shinobi guards offered uncomfortably. "And he was eliminated at the culmination of the Invasion, so you need not worry about him showing up any more."
"But this wasn't the first invasion of Konoha in the last five years was it?" Lily Luna pointed out, blinking her wide chocolate eyes innocently. "According to the rumours I've heard, it was also attacked by a satellite village made up of Leaf colonists and led by a Leaf sanin. Just like this 'Lord Pein' was trained by another Leaf sanin."
That prompted a lot of mutterings and grumblings and curses directed against the 'filthy Oto-ninja swine', 'Sound traitors', 'Orochimaru lackeys' and 'fake wanna-be ninja village'.
Tiring of the subject, Mary pointed her finger. "Take a gander at that. The mountain looks like Mt Rushmore."
The friends swivelled to marvel at the mountain that dominated the valley; five giant faces of past and current Hokages glared down sternly at them. The enormous carvings were somewhat similar to the giant statue of Salazar Slytherin in the Chamber of Secrets. Well, Salazar before Ronald Bilius Weasley had got hold of him.
"It does," Lily observed. "Only the heads are more … stone-faced." She started to giggle.
"Just when I thought your jokes couldn't get any worse," groaned Mary.
"The similarity is no accident," advised one of their nameless Leaf ANBU guardians, inadvertently preventing a six-hour magical blood-feud. "Hokage-iwa was originally constructed by a Leaf shinobi who visited muggle America decades ago. He was most impressed by the idea and decided that if non-ninja could build something so grand, then Konoha owed it to itself to do them one better."
"So it's basically Mt Hokagemore then," Lily Luna sensibly.
"It's called Hokage-iwa!" the ANBU objected hotly.
"Whatever. As fascinating as it is, we can't spend all day staring at Mt Hokagemore; we'll need our own place to stay," Mary commented to her friends.
"Too true," Remus agreed (as he often did whenever Mary proffered an opinion). "I don't want to live in a wizarding tent forever."
"I don't know," Lily Luna mused, "we could always pitch it right on the head of that guy" she pointed at the topmost statue, "and then we can be like the faces of Mt Hokagemore, staring down at the population in contempt."
"Or we could ask Dobby to help us find a spot to set up shop," Lily offered, trying to change the topic before any of their hosts decided to lynch them.
"You called Dobby, Mistress of Great Lord Peter Pettigrew sir?" Dobby's voice asked from what had been an empty space a moment before.
"I need help finding a good location nearby, Dobby," Lily explained, deciding to ignore the elf's modes of address. Experience had proven that the following discussion would achieve nothing but migraines. And travelling across the world with this lot induced enough headaches as it was, no need to multiply her suffering needlessly. Besides, she was more than a bit amused that the little elf had managed to bypass the 'elite' guards of the ANBU stationed around them for their 'protection'. "We need a place to stay while we're here. An embassy, if you will."
"Dobby can help!" the little elf shouted, "Dobby will help Concubine of Ever-Righteous Master Peter Pettigrew sir! Please let Dobby help! Please!"
"Great," Mary said cheerfully, "I knew we could count on you."
"Dobby must go to arrange things for family of Divine Daimyō Peter Pettigrew sir now," the little elf said seriously.
"Bye, Dobby."
"Bye, Missy Mac."
Dobby immediately popped around to various places around Konoha, before realising something important. "Oh no," he wailed, "Dobby forgot to ask Mistress of His Lord High Ratty-ness Peter Pettigrew sir what 'embassee' is! Dobby is a bad elf, an embarrassment to all elf kind! Now how will Mr Peter Pettigrew the Compassionate the Merciful sir get his embassee?"
"Not my problem," a passing Leaf shinobi sneered.
"Wait!" Dobby squealed happily, "Great and Illustrious Mr Peter Pettigrew sir's woman-servant does tell Dobby – she says they are looking for a place to stay in revolting, ruined ditch of a village."
"Hey!" a different Leaf shinobi objected to the slight against his home.
"What sort of place to stay?" the house elf wondered to himself, completely ignoring the man's spluttering. "Would Eternal Emperor Mr Peter Pettigrew sir wish to have like a trunk with lots of wonderful things like secret rooms?" He thought hard on the problem. "No, if a wizarding tent with many rooms is not good enough for Mistress Ellie Looner, then a trunk would not be good enough either. A castle would be better." Dobby congratulated himself for his wonderful plan. "Now where shall Dobby put Prince of Peace Peter Pettigrew sir's castle?"
After hours of carefully searching every inch of the Valley Hidden by Leaves, Dobby eventually settled on a point on the top of the mountain range opposite Mt Hokagemore as the site of the new Fortress Great and Mighty Lord Daimyō Mr Peter Pettigrew-Potter-Black-Malfoy-Sama Sir and His Wives and Concubines and Servants Too, and Also Dobby (FGAMLDMPPPBMSSSAHWACASTAAD), so that it too could dominate the landscape and stare down at the population in contempt. Of course, Master Peter had final choice on any name, but Dobby thought it best to have a name in mind during the construction period.
House elf magic is powerful magic indeed and the two elves had been super-charged for the entire time they'd been in the country, due to the overabundance of natural magical energy emanating from the earth, and no other house elves within several thousand miles to divide it with. So it should come as no surprise that Dobby, with the help of a reluctant Kreacher, completed construction within nine hours of breaking ground. By the first morning light, FGAMLDMPPPBMSSSAHWACASTAAD, Peter Pettigrew's new 'embassee', was done; built of heavy stone blocks native to the area. Luckily for the two plucky elves (i.e., one plucky and one surly), some Leavies had generously left all sorts of construction materials, such as quarried stone blocks, mortar, wooden beams, metal beams, concrete supports, etc, just lying around all over the place! That made the work faster and easier by many orders of magnitude.
"Now all Dobby needs to do is get a library for the Great and Powerful Potentate Peter Pettigrew sir so that Master Blaster Peter Pettigrew sir can use those books to study and learn all the weird magics of the foreign and strange-smelling barbarians."
Search of the valley yielding nothing; sadly all written materials had either been destroyed in the carnage, or hidden away somewhere Dobby couldn't ascertain.
"Oh no," he cried piteously, "Dobby cannot find a single book in entire annihilated remains of a city! Dobby is a bad elf who has disgraced all previous generations of generations of elves by not finding materials for his master to learn strange and disturbing Japanese magics … wait! Nearby is Oto-village full of bad ninjoes. Leavies hate bad ninjoes so will not mind if Dobby be taking their books!"
Grabbing the HA's collection of mokeskin pouches, Dobby dragged Kreacher to said hidden village which was hidden 30 miles away. A distance that would take a team of jōnin two days to traverse was reached in matter of two seconds. Luckily the secret ninja villages emitted so much chakra/magic that, though invisible and insensible to a human, to a house elf, lit the areas as bright as beacons. The secret town of Oto-gakure no Sato and its secret network of secret tunnels were systematically stripped of all their literature.
Five hours later, the elves emptied their pouches and filled FGAMLDMPPPBMSSSAHWACASTAAD with a giant stack of scrolls, books, parchments and clay tablets, and confronted a new problem.
"Where will Dobby put the Wonderful Wizard Peter Pettigrew sir's books?" he wailed, "Dobby is a bad elf who deserves to have his own ears ironed for forgetting to get furniture for Rock of Ages Peter Pettigrew sir's books!" He frowned in thought. "While Dobby is at it, he may as well also get chairs and tables and weapons and equipment and supplies so that His Virileness Verminous Peter Pettigrew sir and his horde of harem slaves can sit down and sleep on something besides stone floor ... oh, and a desk so that the Lord High Peter Pettigrew sir can have a place to study."
Another brief trip and the secret town of Oto-gakure no Sato and its secret network of secret tunnels were systematically stripped of everything else of value. The elves even took the liberty of removing every pane of glass and mat of tatami, as well as the Snake Throne of the former Otokage Orochimaru, which Dobby proudly installed in the Great Hall of FGAMLDMPPPBMSSSAHWACASTAAD so that the Master of Mayhem Peter Pettigrew sir could sit in state on his throne while he held audiences for cringing supplicants.
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It was mayhem in the Iron fortress. Officials, secretaries, janitorial staff, armoured samurai, panicked ran around like headless chimerae, running into walls, door and each other. Many hid themselves in whatever rooms or bunkers they could find and barricaded themselves in. The triad of magical girls pierced through the chaos, the crowds flowing to their left and right like water.
"Point me Akatsuki!" Pandora demanded of her wand. It twirled this way and that in her palm, but seemed reluctant to point in any particular direction. "It's no good, I need to have at least some idea of what I'm looking for or the spell won't work," she sighed.
"Zen zink of something else – you are a Genius, are you not?" Apolline demanded.
"Of course I am, how dare you question me, minion! Hmmm … let's see ... fronto-occipital fasciculus, don't fail me now! …" She began pacing up and down. Presently she froze, stock still in the middle of a step. Snapped her fingers loudly. "Eureka! Why don't we initiate an enooooormous power buildup! We find a ley-line or two and convert their magicogeofields into a controlled ion flow – like tapping a geyser! Of lava! With all that intra-folded chakra emanation, it would trick our Akatsuki swill into believing that we are the cluster of Kages, and attack us instead! Much easier than chasing them all over this Merlin-forsaken complex. Gad zooks, how do I do it? I don't even know myself! Bwahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!"
"Heeheheheheheeheheh!" Apolline joined in with her own light, tinkling-brook laughter.
"Aaaah, I am unsure that is a prudent course of action," began Naho nervously.
"Who cares about being prudent when you can be right!?" demanded the magiscientist.
"And with all zat potential magic stored, we can set a trap for zese mutinous peasants – as soon as zey come running – ZAPP! We reverse ze polarity of ze flow right into zeir traitorous faces!" A bright bolt of electricity arced from her clawed hand in demonstration.
Pandora nodded approvingly. "That's the spirit! If we use the correct sequence of runes, we should be able to channel the stochastic chakra bioenergy manifold into a crude annular confinement beam."
"And that's good, right?" queried the Japanese girl uncertainly.
"Absolutely, it might even prevent this entire complex from being reduced to subatomic detritus once we flip the switch!"
"I very much recommend we reconsider …"
"There's a ley-line right here, running down the main hallway. An impressively strong one. Not surprising, they doubtless built this structure on very this location for that very reason. Draw the ritual circle! May as well do it right here, not like anyone else is around to object to graffiti!"
"Zis is so exciting!"
"I really think we should retreat …"
"I know – I'm so brilliant I even scare myself sometimes!"
"Perhaps we can join the Kages and present a united front …"
"Charge the runic array!"
"We 'ave ignition!"
The hum of power and glow of primordial, eldritch light filled the hallway attracted the attention of a cohort of armoured Iron samurai, who gathered around to observe the proceedings.
"Akatsuki swine – now you shall feel the wrath of The Science Of Magic™!" Pandora roared.
The samurai raised their fists and cheered. Soon victory would be theirs! The air sparked and crackled.
The invading Akatsuki (who had indeed by attracted by the power buildup) watched in stunned amazement as the floor of the hallway cracked and buckled, swallowing the two gaijin and their samurai allies into a giant, gaping hole.
The tormented building gave another groan of pain, and then the ceiling was collapsing. The whole hole vanished in a cascade of debris. The four Akatsuki took one look at the expanding devastation and fled the wing, resolving to find another route into the Chamber of the Kages.
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"You know that this débâcle is entirely the fault of you two hotheads," Naho uttered coldly.
It was slow work digging through all the rubble that blocked their escape. Even with a dozen samurai working their hardest to clear away the broken rocks and sand, they only seemed to progress at a crawl. The girls' Blasting Curses and levitation spells helped a lot, but they also churned through an unpleasantly high amount of their magical reserves.
"It was just a couple of itty-bitty decimal places," Pandora huffed. "Don't act like you've never made a mistake! Albeit a trivial and almost unnoticeable mistake that I am compelled by my strong sense of honesty to admit that I made. A mistake so trivial and unnoticeable that it would not be worth anybody's while to mention it ever again ... But fear not, faithful minions, for your Lady and Mistress of Science will have you out of here before you can say 'technobabble'!"
"Really?" asked one eager fellow.
"Of course! I couldn't rub my superior genius in those Akatsuki ignoramus's faces if I didn't, could I?" Pandora replied with a crazed smile. "Isn't that generous of me? Lucky for them the size of my generosity is second only to the size of my limitless genius!" Pandora bellowed. "Bwahahahahaha –"
"Laugh after we're free," Naho chided curtly.
"Ahem, yes." A deranged grin formed on the magiscientist's face as she thought of all the ways she could demonstrate her blinding intellect to those ninja villains using the most brutal and disgusting methods possible.
"Per'aps you could put some of zat limitless genius to work figuring out why we cannot apparate out of 'ere?" Apolline suggested hopefully.
"Possibly due to the extremely high iron and cobalt content in the rocks and walls," theorised Pandora, "else a series of transport-magic-inhibiting transplanar rune arrays or self-reenergising ritual-fields have been embedded throughout the structure to interfere with inward-focused magics like apparition or elf-popping. Perhaps an additional security measure, to stop people apparating in, grabbing a Kage then apparating out again a second later."
"Let us test zat – Dobby! Kreacher!" Apolline looked around expectantly. No elf came to their rescue. She sighed. "So either zey are too far away to 'ear me, can 'ear me but cannot get in, or zey would be able to 'ear me except for whatever eez blocking our apparition."
"Guess it's back to work then," Naho said, firing off another blasting curse then levitating the slag out of the way. "Get moving you two; since you're responsible for us being here, you have no excuse to shirk on the labour!" The other two girls hastily jumped to it. "If only we had some earth or metal benders with us," the Japanese witch grumbled. A number of the samurai nodded their agreement as they continued to haul away the dense debris.
"You and Professor Maniaku have both dropped hints about this 'bending' stuff. You stated earlier that each of the Five Nations is named after the dominant chakra techniques they specialise in, techniques derivative of so-called 'bending' affinities. Mind elaborating a tad?"
"Hai," Naho grunted as she banished a considerably larger chunk of stone. "Bending refers to the ability to manipulate the natural elements at a basic level. Most of the population of the wild regions claim to have inherited their affinities from the inhabitants of the Four Empires of antiquity. Those with affinities with earth and metal jutsus claim to descend from people of the Earth Kingdom (like our colleagues in the Land of Iron here); those with affinities to fire and lightning jutsus claim to descend from the Fire Nation; those with affinities to water, mist, rain and other liquid jutsus claim to descend from the Water Tribe; and everyone else claim to descend from the Air Nomads."
"Zese Four Empires are not ze same as ze Five Nations?"
"No. It all goes back to the ancient past of Mahōnihon and Mahōshina. To the historical Water Tribe of water benders who were based to the extreme north and south, in the polar regions. The Earth Kingdom of earth benders, centred in the now-Middle Kingdom. The Fire Nation of fire benders, comprising the periphery regions, what is now called Japan and India. And the Air Nomad clans of air benders in Tibet and Central Asia. Each empire was culturally unique and its population, according to legend, exclusively practiced bending only one element apiece. That's no longer the case of course. Due to migration and miscegenation, the elemental affinities are scattered and intermixed across the lands. Nevertheless, the Five Nations and their respective populations each tend to gravitate collectively towards certain affinities. Such as the Land of Fire – guess which elements most of our ninja prefer?"
"They only claim descent?"
"It is considered prestigious to hail from a bloodline descended from one of the ancient Empires, especially from their royal lines."
"But is it true?" the magiscientist demanded.
Naho shrugged smoothly. Even with sweat streaming down her face, and loose strands of obsidian hair stuck to her forehead and cheeks, she was still the epitome of grace and aplomb. "Perhaps. The Four Empires disappeared millennia ago, long before written records began to be kept in Mahōnihon. Plenty claim to maintain unbroken oral traditions of the generations of their forebears all the way back to the empires, but whether they are actually based in objective reality … there is no way to know for sure, short of sending a magiarchaeological expedition to excavate the remains of the Air Nomads' caves in southern Tibet. Or to the ruins of Ba-Sing-Sē outside of Beijing in the Middle Kingdom." She paused in her labour for a bit, eyes closed, smooth forehead creased slightly in recollection. The girl began to sing in a soft, melodious soprano:
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It's a long, long way to Ba-Sing-Sē
But the girls in the city
They look so pretty
The girls from Ba-Sing-Sē.
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To the other girls' surprise, several of the samurai picked up the melody and sang along with Naho for the final verse:
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It's a long, long way to Ba-Sing-Sē
But they kiss so sweet
That you've really got to meet
The girls from Ba-Sing-Sē.
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"What eez zat song?" Apolline asked quietly.
"Just an old nursery rhyme. I remember my Uba singing it to me as a little child. By the sounds of it," Naho nodded towards the armoured men and women, "I'm not the only one."
"Eet eez a very pretty song. Zough I weel be keeping my leeps to myself, zank you."
"What, am I not desirable enough for you?" teased Pandora with mock hurt. She shot the short Veela a sultry grin.
Apolline didn't notice, her eyes fixed on Naho. "So you and ze rest of ze people of ze Land of Fire are supposedly ze descendants of zis Fire Nation of ze past?"
Naho nodded. "Some more likely than others. For example, my family, the Hi-no-Kagutsuchi Clan. My uncle, the Hi-no-Kuni, claims direct descent – the 93rd generation, father-to-son, to be exact – from Fire Lord Irōh, the son of Izumi daughter of Zukō son of Ōzai son of Azulon son of Sōzin son of Hi-no-Kagu-Tsuchi son of Izanagi-no-ōkami son of Ama-no-Hashidate son of Heaven itself. Irōh was the last of the great line of Fire Lords. The final victor of the Hundred Year War."
"Hundred Year War?" asked Pandora curiously.
"A great war that raged across east, south and central Magical Asia twenty-two hundred years ago. It occurred concurrently with the time known as the Warring States Period or the Seven Kingdoms Period of the mundane Middle Kingdom. If you'd like me to explain it all properly, you had better settle in, for it would not take hours but phases of the moon! By Sarāda, we might even have dug our way out of this dank hole by then!"
"Don't even zink about it," Apolline said firmly to Pandora, with a warning glance for the taller blonde (whose eyes were blazing with keen interest once more). "I zink we can table zat discussion for another time. For ze moment, let us focus on our task. Eef you like, Naho can teach us some more traditional songs. For ze local colour, oui? … Did eet suddenly get warmer in 'ere?"
An urgent series of cries from the samurai interrupted their discussion. The temperature was indeed rising, and a portion of the ceiling had begun to glow with an ominous red light.
"Susano-o's beard! Lava bending!" bellowed Naho, grabbing her fellow mahōshōjo and dragging them hastily away from the section of rock above them that had started to smoulder and drip. Plumes of choking vapour began seeping into the cavern as the debris around them sublimated.
"Explain!" demanded Pandora, coughing at the putrid odour.
"Those with strong affinities to both earth and fire elements can bend both at once, creating lava – extremely rare, and extremely dangerous! Up onto these rocks, quickly!"
The group clambered up onto the highest piles of rock and slag available as the ceiling liquefied and began pouring down into the cavern. The glowing red and yellow liquid rock began to rise higher. Pandora, Apolline and Naho quickly cast Bubble-head Charms on everybody to stave off the thick poisonous fumes.
"Zut alors, we are trapped like rat flambé!" Apolline declared.
"Curse the completely understandable and almost insignificant mistake that got us into this situation!" bellowed Pandora.
The roof continued to melt and pour down onto the floor, the lava-line increasing ever higher. The girls and samurai crowded onto the highest point available and searched desperately for a means of escape.
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Eleazar Sanguini had spent many decades in service to the Volturi Conclave as a member of the elite Guard. A role that had sent him all around the world to explore many strange and varied vampire cultures, and many strangely talented individuals. It was this extensive experience that allowed him to compare the stunning news he'd received this day with prior behaviour of his erstwhile lieges. It was this mental exercise that eventually led the Spanish vampire onto a stream of thought that he did not like one iota. And yet, his own logic drove him on to the awful conclusions. Conclusions he couldn't bear to articulate. It was left to Edward Cullen to read them from his minds and explain to the rest of the party.
"He was trying to understand why so many of the Volturi would come to punish us. It's not the way they do things. Certainly, we are the biggest mature coven they've dealt with, but in the past other covens have joined to protect themselves, and they never presented much of a challenge despite their numbers. We are more closely bonded, and that's a factor, but not a huge one. He was remembering other times that covens have been punished, for one thing or the other, and a pattern occurred to him. It was a pattern that the rest of the guard would never have noticed, since Eleazar was the one passing the pertinent intelligence privately to Aro. A pattern that only repeated every other century or so."
"What was this pattern?" Carmen queried softly. Eleazar had to turn away, unable to bear looking at her.
"Aro does not often personally attend a punishing expedition. But in the past, when Aro wanted something in particular, it was never long before evidence turned up proving that this coven or that coven had committed some unpardonable crime. The ancients would decide to go along to watch the guard administer justice. And then, once the coven was all but destroyed, Aro would grant a pardon to one member whose thoughts, he would claim, were particularly repentant. Always, it would turn out that this vampire had the gift Aro had admired. Always, this person was given a place with the guard. The gifted vampire was won over quickly, always so grateful for the honour. There were no exceptions. There is one among the guard. Her name is Chelsea. She has influence over the emotional ties between people. She can both loosen and secure these ties. She could make someone feel bonded to the Volturi, to want to belong, to want to please them ..."
Eleazar interjected bitterly, "We all understood why Chelsea was important! In a fight, if we could separate allegiances between allied covens, we could defeat them that much more easily. If we could distance the innocent members of a coven emotionally from the guilty, justice could be done without unnecessary brutality — the guilty could be punished without interference, and the innocent could be spared. Otherwise, it was impossible to keep the coven from lighting as a whole. So Chelsea would break the ties that bound them together. It seemed a great kindness to me, evidence of Aro's mercy. I did suspect that Chelsea kept our own band more tightly knit, but that, too, was a good thing. It made us more effective. It helped us coexist more easily."
"How strong is her gift?" the Denali matriarch asked, eyes flicking anxiously to each member of her family.
He gave an equivocal Spanish half-shrug. "I was able to leave with Carmen. But anything weaker than the bond between partners is in danger. In a normal coven, at least. Those are weaker bonds than those in our family, though. Abstaining from human blood makes us more civilized — lets us form true bonds of love. I doubt she could turn our allegiances, Tanya. I could only think that the reason Aro had decided to come himself, to bring so many with him, is because his goal is not punishment but acquisition. He needs to be there to control the situation. But he needs the entire Guard for protection from such a large, gifted coven. On the other hand, that leaves the other ancients unprotected in Volterra. Too risky — someone might try to take advantage. So they all come together. How else could he be sure to preserve the gifts that he wants? He must want them very badly."
"From what I saw of his thoughts last spring, Aro's never wanted anything more than he wants Alice," Edward hissed.
"Is that why Alice left?" Bella demanded.
"I think it must be. To keep Aro from gaining the thing he wants most of all. To keep her power out of his hands."
"He wants you, too!"
"Not nearly as much. I can't really give him anything more than he already has. And of course that's dependent on his finding a way to force me to do his will. He knows me, and he knows how unlikely that is."
Eleazar snorted at the young vampire's naïveté. Sometimes he wondered how Edward had ever managed to live over 100 years. "He also knows your weaknesses," he stated the obvious. Anyone with half an eye in their head could see that the quickest and easiest way to get the vampire legilimens to do something was to go through his wife. And vice versa.
"It's nothing we need to discuss now," Edward replied mulishly.
"He probably wants your mate, too, regardless. He must have been intrigued by a talent that could defy him in its human incarnation," Eleazar continued on remorselessly.
"I think the Volturi were waiting for this — for some pretext. They couldn't know what form their excuse would come in, but the plan was already in place for when it did come. That's why Alice saw their decision before Irina triggered it. The decision was already made, just waiting for the pretence of a justification," Edward mused slowly.
"If the Volturi are abusing the trust all immortals have placed in them …" Carmen trailed off.
"Does it matter? Who would believe it?" Unbidden, ancient words rose from edges of Eleazar's mind, words far older than he and his vampire family's lifespans combined: 'Who would have believed our report? And to whom has the arm of HaShem been revealed?' He began his agitated pacing once more, ignoring the irritated looks Tanya was shooting him. "And even if others could be convinced that the Volturi are exploiting their power, how would it make any difference? No one can stand against them."
"Though some of us are apparently insane enough to try," Kate observed sardonically.
Eleazar sighed to himself. What in Ivan the Terrible's terrible vampiric name had his kin gotten themselves into?
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Albus Dumbledore and his Order arrived in Konoha-gakure from the Land of Iron several days later in a flash of phoenix fire. They had proceeded directly there after resolving the fallout from the destructive firefight that had erupted at the disastrous Five Kage Summit.
The Professor entered Konoha in state as the Hogokage, representing Hogowarutsu-gakure no Sato of Magical Europe, and as formal emissary of the Emperor, to officially meet with the newly-recovered Hokage, Senjū Tsunade.
Lily, Mary, Remus and Lily Luna went out to meet their Headmaster and escort him thorough Konoha. As soon as they set eyes on him they wished they hadn't. Dumbledore was sporting the broad-brimmed rice-growers' hat typical of a Kage. What was not typical was the colour design of bright pink and magenta stripes with little ringed planets gambolling around. A lime green strip of cloth hung down behind to protect his neck from the sun. The Hogwarts school logo was embossed on the front in the place where the kanji representing the particular nation usually sat. The hat of state clashed horribly with his deep red beard, azure-and-peach checked kimono, pure white hakama and golden-green haori. The werewolf gritted his teeth and the girls shielded their faces from the eye-watering sight.
Dumbledore smiled in amusement at the sight of the giant castle in the backdrop, that bore a more-than-passing resemblance to a certain magical castle in Scotland. Dobby was frantically carving the face of Peter Pettigrew sir into the mountainside just below it. The giant face was angled so as to be able to meet the eyes of the faces of the opposite Mt Hogakemore.
"Ah, the elves got a bit overenthusiastic," Lily said, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. "Uh, welcome to Hogwarts' Japanese Embassy." Their ANBU guards were not amused.
"Splendid," the aged wizard replied cheerily, "The Hi-no-Kuni was this very morning advising me of his disappointment at what he and his wife perceived as the inadequate state of accommodation whenever they visited Konoha village, no doubt they will be most pleased that this lacuna has been rectified. Now, shall we away?" leading the English students onward, ignoring the furious glares of the gathered Leaf shinobi.
Dumbledore was indeed correct in his assumption, as the Daimyō of the Land of Fire and Madame Shijimi were delighted by the new FGAMLDMPPPBMSSSAHWACASTAAD upon their arrival the following day. They and their retinue promptly took up residence. To Dobby's great displeasure. However, Lily was able to avoid a diplomatic incident by convincing the truculent house elf that these were dear friends of Master Pettigrew, and as he was a guest in their lands, so Dobby should treat them as Master Pettigrew's family. Dobby was eventually mollified.
The lordly family and the house elf's reconciliation was made public once Madame Shijimi managed to prevail upon Dobby to carve additional faces into 'Mt Mighty Peter Pettigrew Sovereign Lord of the World'. The residents of Konoha were soon 'rewarded' with the sight of the giant stone faces of their elderly daimyō, his plump bejewelled wife and a distressed-looking cat with a ribbon in its right ear. Smaller in size and flanking the great rat-like head of Dobby's master, of course. Nobody could be seen as more prominent than the Greatest Wizard in the World.
All grumbling about the wanton graffitiing of the landscape was blithely ignored.
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