Re:Misaki

Re:Three

The stranger's eyes were looking at me so warmly as if I was someone very close to him, but all I could do was to stare back with a puzzled look. His warm large hands were still wrapped around my left hand, clutching very tightly, while his thumb caressed my knuckles.

"Misaki..."

Upon hearing the name, I tried to shake his hands off but a sharp pain spread across the length of my arm, from my shoulders to my wrist. I couldn't help it but winced in pain. The man finally let go of my hand and inched closer to me worriedly.

"Are you all right? The doctor said not to move too much," the man said.

"Doctor?" I looked at him quizzically. "Where am I?"

"You're at Keio State Hospital."

"How can it be? I was..." I craned my neck to my right side and saw multiples wires, tubes and machines next to my bed. "... Oh gosh."

"You was what?"

"Driving!" I snapped at the stranger and immediately regretted it.

I felt so lost and confused. It felt as if I had missed out something. I couldn't even remember how I got here. What exactly happened that made me land up in this hospital? There was a stupid mission I had to complete, and that was to claim my identity card from the police and change the name on my sister's death certificate. The stranger was obviously taken aback by my sudden outburst of anger but he seemed to be a patient person. He pulled a chair next to my bed and sat down. Before he could say anything, I quickly apologised to him.

With a soft smile, he shook his head and said, "I understand that you are feeling uncomfortable right now. So, it's okay. I won't take it too hard."

"What happened to me?" I queried.

"You met with an accident two days ago. At a 'T' junction," he explained.

"Two days ago... as in 30th?"

He nodded.

"Today's... 1st... New Year..."

"Yes," he replied with another warm smile. "Happy Birthday, Misaki."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Usually, when someone wished me happy birthday, I would be so happy. However, this time the wish wasn't for me but was for my sister. I wanted to tell this stranger that I wasn't who he thought I was but couldn't bring myself to tell him just yet because there were so many things I still did not understand.

"Hey," I called out to the stranger.

"Yes?"

"You said it was an accident. So, how did I...?"

The stranger looked distress for a moment but managed to explain the situation to me again, "A car was speeding and it crashed against yours. You were badly injured, especially your left arm. That's why the doctor told me to inform you not to move your arm too much."

Then, he fell silent. I crooked an eyebrow at him, expecting him to explain more. It appeared that the situation was not as bad as I had expected it to be. It was just a car crash and I landed up in hospital because of my injuries. Well, not like I couldn't visit the police station with a broken arm. I would do it as soon as I was discharged.

"Okay. That's all?"

"Err... And your head as well. The doctor said you had a large bump at the back of your head and a few cuts on your forehead. Oh, and the doctor suggests for a CAT scan as soon as you wake up," he added. "I think it is good to go for the scan, Misaki. I hope the bump is not too dangerous."

"Of course, it isn't dangerous," I blurted. "I think I got that bump during that time I rolled down the stairs. It's a small issue."

Moreover, I had not enough money for a CAT scan. Okay, I got money but I was tight with my finance so I had to cancel this scan. At least, I had a doctor to check on my bump which I hadn't had a chance to do so previously due to the wrong identity card.

"No, no, you have to go for it. It is for your own good," he lectured, sounding almost like Anna who always nagged and lectured me about health.

"No, I'm not going. I had other better things to do and spend on."

The stranger frowned. "Stop it. What other things do you have to do? You have to rest, Misaki. I can help you to get an MC or something."

"No," I insisted firmly.

"Misaki!"

"Who are you to instruct me on what to do?" I challenged. "The truth is... I don't even know who you are. What is your relationship with Misaki? I know the two of you are close based on how you had just address 'Misaki' and... that touch too. Anyway, who are you?"

I felt so uncomfortable trying to talk to this man while lying down on my back. I wanted to sit up so badly but my head felt so heavy. Oh, the struggle!

The stranger looked immensely appalled by my words. His eyes were wavering, filled with sadness and looked as if they were going to tear up soon.

"You really can't remember me?"

With a still face, I replied in a monotone, "To be honest, I don't even know you to even have a memory of you."

Yes, it sounded harsh but it was a fact. If he was really close to Misaki, he should at least know the truth about Misaki's death and I was just someone who happened to get caught up with her mess.

"Misaki... Oh my gosh." The stranger looked away from me as he pressed his palm against his forehead, breathing rather heavily. "Oh my gosh, please. Not like that, please."

"Just saying, I'm not Misaki. I'm Mikan," I decided to add on.

The stranger turned to me again and held onto my arm, looking even more desperate in trying to 'return my memories'. "I'm Tsubasa, Misaki. Try to remember me. Please."

I let out a soft laugh and argued, "Like I said, I'm not Misaki. How can I remember you when this is my first time meeting you."

"Wait here, okay? I will call the doctor," he continued and patted my arm gently before letting go.

"Hey, there's no need to!"

Too late. That man ran out of the ward, leaving me all alone in the room. I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. I doubt that the doctors were going to believe me if I said that I was not Misaki. I used my right arm and forcefully pushed myself up. Seeing a clip clasped in between my left index finger and three needles poking into my right arm flesh, I removed all of them by unclasping the clip and using my teeth to pluck those needles out. Then, I got out of bed and quickly walked out of the room. I could not walk fast because my ankle was hurting. It seemed that the car accident had made my ankle more swollen than it was before which was after that fall. Each step I took was torture but my left arm felt even worse. With the metal brace supporting it, I could not even move my arm freely and the metal brace was weighing my left shoulder down.

As I was walking around and searching for an exit, I looked around the hallway desperately so as to avoid any nurse or doctor who might recognise me. Some nurses walked past me, which was a relief, while some gazed at me for a moment before going back to do their own routines. Not long after, I caught sight of an elevator and headed there as quickly as possible. Just when I was about to call for the elevator, an arm appeared in front of me and blocked my way. Startled, I turned to my right and began dreading at the sight of this person who was blocking my way.

"Misaki, what are you doing here?" the stranger, Tsubasa, asked with a hint of anger in his voice. "Didn't I tell you to wait in the room?"

"Step aside," I grunted, showing my displeasure by clenching my teeth together.

Tsubasa wrapped his arm around my right arm and started pulling me away from the elevator. I struggled to break free from his hold, refusing to move my feet even as he pulled me. I had to agree that I was acting like a spoilt brat being pulled by a parent in a shopping mall.

"The doctors will check on you. Come here," Tsubasa said.

"No!"

"Misaki, be good, okay?"

Oh wow. He was treating me like a small kid. Like hell I was going back there. I needed to see the police!

"Dr Harada, I'm sorry," a male voice was heard from my back.

Before I could turn around to see who the person was, I felt something wrapping around my knees and pressing against my back. Then, I was lifted up and the face of the person behind me came to my view. The person had dark blue eyes and blonde hair. I did not have to run my fingers through his hair to tell if he was blessed with silkily smooth hair. He also had small sharp nose, making him look like a perfect model from South Korea. Well, in short, this man was no doubt good-looking and had to be a mixed-blood as he looked a little Asian despite having these physical Caucasian characteristics. Remembering those days when I was in high school, many girls were cooing over a boy in my class. He was half-Japanese and half-American. He could speak good English so many girls tried to get close to him by asking him if he could tutor them English. I wanted to talk to the boy but didn't get the chance to because I was too afraid to approach him. Anyway, I snapped out of my trance and quickly realised that I was being carried by this blonde man in... bridal style.

I felt myself stiffen as my cheeks grow warm. I had never imagined myself being carried this way. I had seen this in movies but I had never thought it could ever happen to me. Oh my gosh. What should I do? I could feel my lips becoming rather tight, rendering me speechless despite how much I wanted to retaliate like earlier. My eyes lowered and caught sight of the blonde man's name tag pinned on the left side of his white coat.

"Dr... Ruka... Nogi..." I read out the name softly and hesitantly glanced at the blonde man again.

So, he was a mixed after all. And a doctor! Crap!

"Put me down," I said, staring daggers at him this time.

"I will put you down as soon as we are back to your ward," he replied dully. "Stop creating troubles for us, okay? Even your... boyfriend is worried."

The word 'boyfriend' came out rather different from the rest of words which he had been saying. It sounded as if he resented that word with the emphasis on the 'b' and 'fr' sounds. Maybe it was my imagination or hearing problems, but when I looked at Tsubasa's face, he appeared rather displeased by the presence of this blonde doctor. Oh, Misaki, I did not know that you were the heroine of your own drama. I had watched enough movies to deduce that these two guys here had some sort of relationship with Misaki, and Misaki had probably chosen Tsubasa between these two. Well, that was interesting. I did not want to get caught up with this love saga.

"I will bite you and kick you if you don't put me down now," I threatened with a smirk.

However, the doctor seemed like he wasn't going to let me win him. He continued walking with Tsubasa next to him and the other doctors and nurses in front of us. I realised throughout our conversation since he carried me up, Ruka hadn't looked at me once. How rude. Maybe that was why Misaki chose Tsubasa who was so nice and warm to her.

"Heh. As if you would do that, Dr Harada," he whispered back, finally giving me a quick glance before looking ahead again.

Once again, I did not know why... but after hearing his words, I could feel my heart racing and I was totally lost for words.

Just when we were back to the ward, the blonde placed me on the bed and left without saying a word. Meanwhile, Tsubasa was speaking to a doctor and two nurses were tending to me. I tried to be good, just for this moment as the nurses were inserting some needles which were connected to some tubes into my arm. I did not want to get hurt by those needles though. Inserting them back into my arm was already painful. After the nurses had done so, the doctor came to me while the nurses signalled Tsubasa to leave the room.

"Misaki, I will be waiting outside. See you later," Tsubasa assured as he gave me a weak smile before leaving the ward.

Seeing him so nice and patient with me, it somehow made me feel guilty of my own actions. If I were Misaki, how would she behave? Would she retaliate? Would she seek comfort from Tsubasa? But I wasn't Misaki so it was natural for me to reject him and other people who were connected to her... right?

"Dr Harada, please give me your full name."

I turned my head to look at the doctor who was standing next to my bed. He was holding a writing board and a pen in his right hand. Staring back at me, he prompted me again.

"What is your full name?"

"Mikan Yukihira."

The doctor crooked an eyebrow at me. "Age?"

"28... I mean, 29."

"Okay." He started scribbling something down on his board. "Occupation?"

"Social worker. I'm a humanitarian," I replied.

"Highest qualification?"

"Bachelor's degree in Psychology... oh, if you are going to count Postgraduate diploma in Counselling as a qualification, maybe that is."

I had no idea where this was heading to and why he was asking me these personal questions, but I thought it was rather good for me to prove my identity in front of this doctor.

"When did you start working in Keio State University?"

"Huh? I just told you that I'm a social worker," I interjected with a frown. "I'm not Misaki."

"What is your sister's full name?"

The doctor seemed to ignore my words, no doubt pissing me off. Asking me for my sister's name? Really?

"Apparently, Misaki had changed her family name from Yukihira to Harada. She was called Misaki Harada," I answered in a harsh and impatient voice.

"What is her highest qualification?"

"PhD, duh."

"What is she studying now?"

"What? How would I know?" I leaned towards the doctor and stared hard at him. "And she's dead now. She can no longer study even if she was supposedly studying something."

The doctor cleared his throat and continued, "Which city are you come from?"

"Nagoya."

"Nagoya... okay... Can you recall how you were landed up here?"

"A road accident," I replied. "I don't know the exact details but I know that there was this car that went so fast..."

I paused. What came after that scene was fuzzy to me. All I remembered was that bright yellow flashlight reflected on the side mirror and then finding myself in the hospital at the next moment. What happened in between was like an empty blank space.

"... And I guess I was hit by that car after that."

The doctor glanced briefly at me, letting out a soft 'hmm' as if he was thinking of something based on my response. But he immediately returned his attention back to whatever thing on his writing board and continued writing again.

"Okay. I will schedule a CAT scan about an hour later. Yesterday, the neuro-department wanted to check that bump on your head but you were in the AE for quite long. So, we were actually planning to do it today for you." The doctor stopped writing and inserted his pen into his chest pocket. "Anyway, at the mean time, please wait here for further instructions. The nurses will come and get you later."

Actually, I did not mind going for a head scan. I would like to assure myself that the bump wasn't as fatal as what I was going through at this moment. However, upon thinking about the cost of a scan, together with the surgery and other hospital bills, I scowled. I did not have much money with me. I had Misaki's wallet but I didn't think it would be advisable to use hers either. Should I escape from this place again?

Just as the doctor was about to walk away, I called out to him with a forced smile, "Do you think the bump is very serious? Maybe it was just a minor thing. There is no need to go, I'm sure of it."

The doctor turned, pulling a straight face at me. "Dr Harada, one thing for sure... you need more check-ups. And I know it hurts... but this is not the way to let go of your pain."

Then, he left with the two nurses following behind him. I let my body fall against the bed, unintentionally hitting my poor bump at the back of my head against the pillow. It did hurt a little even though the pillow was soft. Staring aimlessly at the white grid ceiling, I let out a heavy and tired sigh as I contemplated about the doctor's questions and his final words. I did not understand what he had meant but one thing for sure... The doctor still thought I was Misaki.

"Misaki?"

I tilted my head towards the direction where the door was. Tsubasa was peering into the ward, looking at me expectantly as if he was seeking my permission to enter the ward. I shifted my gaze away from him, still feeling guilty for making everything so hard for him earlier.

"What? Just come in," I said in a soft voice.

"Okay..." Tsubasa walked in and like earlier, he pulled a chair next to my bed and sat down. "Misaki, I have heard from the doctor that you are going for a scan later. That's good."

"Not like I want to go for it though. He insisted."

Then, he laughed weakly at my words. "I think it is best to check it. After all, the doctor suspected that you might have... retrograde amnesia."

Huh...

"Or maybe some psychological confusion... like identity... because of your sister's death..."

"I'm not confused. I'm really not Misaki," I repeated this sentence for the umpteenth time, glaring at the man while noticing how pained he was looking right at this moment. "Let's not talk about this, okay? I'm getting tired of everything. I want to get out of this place fast. By the way, what's your name?"

Tsubasa furrowed his brows, probably finding my question weird. Despite that, he responded, "Just call me Tsubasa like you always do."

"Tsubasa what?" I prompted.

"An... Andou."

"Andou... Okay. I will address you as Andou," I said in a rapid staccato as I gave Tsubasa an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry to say this, but I don't feel comfortable calling someone whom I have just met by the first name. Please pardon me."

Seeing how dejected Tsubasa was, I felt even worse than before. It was like... I had just broken his heart or rejected him using Misaki's identity. I swore this was the worst thing I could ever do to my sister's relationship. But what could I do in this situation? I could not just play along in the shoes of Misaki and pretended to be her until I got back my identity. It would be extremely weird for others to see 'Misaki' walking around one day but found out that the real Misaki was all along dead the following day.

"Andou, do you have any idea if my mother knew about my condition?" I queried.

He nodded in response. "Yes, she visited you yesterday but left after an hour. She had to return to Nagoya with your sister's body for cremation."

"Oh, I see."

I fell silent as I realised it was rather too late for me to attend my sister's funeral. I wondered if my identity card was still at the police station. It was highly unlikely that the police was still holding onto it though. Gosh! What was I supposed to do?

"About your sister's death, the police investigators found a small blood stain on the curtain in her hotel room. The lab results showed 100% match."

"What do you mean?" I stared hard at the man, feeling rather confused by this finding. "Why is there blood on the curtain? I thought it was a suicide?"

"We thought so too at first because there was a written letter left on the bed," Tsubada explained. "But there was something weird about the letter. It wasn't signed off. So, we are evaluating this whole situation again. The letter might or might not be written by her. Furthermore, with the new evidence, there is a likelihood that your sister didn't die because of suicide. We are still looking into this case, so don't worry too much. I will seek justice for your sister as soon as possible."

I suddenly felt so overwhelmed by the information. So, Misaki didn't suicide? But rather, she was murdered? Was she being pushed down the building during some sort of struggle? I had seen crime-watch documentaries and there were many instances whereby the victims were accidentally killed during their struggle to break free from their opponents. I wanted to cover my eyes with my hands to suppress the growing stinging sensation on my eyes, but one of my arm was handicapped while the other had a whole lot of needles sticking out of my flesh. Oh, Misaki... What exactly happened in that hotel? Please tell me, Misaki!

I looked at Tsubasa again and asked, "You said there was a letter. What was it about?"

"I can't say. Sorry."

"What do you mean again? I'm her sister!" I argued, clenching my right fist angrily. "I need to know what she wrote. I need to know why she died. I need to know..."

My throat tightened as I felt something wet thrilled down from my left eye to the top edge of my ear lobe. I was stunned. My mind went totally blank due to that weird sensation. I had forgotten what I wanted to tell Tsubasa. I had forgotten what to think at this moment. All I could think was Misaki. Only Misaki, my sister. I missed her so badly that her death had only made me more miserable than ever.

I couldn't cry, I had always told myself. No use crying over spilled milk. No use crying over things that had already happened. No use crying over things that hurt you. Leave them be, and you will get over it. All these were always running in my mind whenever I felt like bursting into tears. Even I was amazed by how I had managed to control my pain and sadness for many years. But only Misaki...

"It's alright, Misaki..." I could hear Tsubasa's soft voice, sounding like he was trying to comfort me. "I'm sure you have forgotten about me and our relationship... Explaining what the letter is about would be difficult for now."

I shook my head. No, I don't care. Please tell me now!

"But Misaki, no matter what happens, I will stay next to you."

Stop it. I am not Misaki for goodness sake!

"I notice... even after you have lost some of your memories, you are always crying for the same person..."

I couldn't help but frowned at Tsubasa, warning him to shut his mouth up and give me some peace to regain my composure. I had to stop the tears from welling up. However, he ignored my stare and looked away, downcasted.

"You are always thinking of her. Crying for her. The first time we met... you were crying for help... asking me to protect her." He then lowered his head, totally hiding his face from me. "I'm sorry... I'm very sorry, Misaki... for not keeping this promise. But..."

He turned back to face me again. This time, I could see tears welling up in his eyes too but I could tell that he had been holding back his tears all these while. I felt extremely bad for him as I admitted that I had carried some 'attitude' while trying to justify my identity. At the same time, I felt envy for my sister who was deeply loved by this man. The one who should be lying on this bed was Misaki, not me. The one who should receive his affections was Misaki, not me. The one who should be dead was me, not Misaki...

"... despite everything, a promise is still a promise, Misaki."

I felt his warm hands wrap around mine again. For some unknown reason, his touch made me tear up more and I really detested this grave feeling mounting in my chest. Tsubasa knitted his brows together as he continued to stare hard at me. Despite my clouded vision, I could see a hint of determinism in his eyes.

"Suicide or not..."

Upon hearing him speak again, I found myself holding my breath, waiting in anticipation for his next few words. Little did I know that the following words would made me feel even worse than before. They made me feel as if Misaki was not the sister which I had always described her to be. Intelligent, capable, street-smart, heartless, didn't care about her family, shut her sister off as if she was some annoying fly all the time. Other than those, there were so many things I had yet to know about her. On this very day, I had realised that Misaki...

"... I will make sure the truth will be surfaced up and bring justice to her."

... had loved me all along.

Hi! Sorry for the long wait! I am still working on the next chapter (been procrastinating since last year...) so please be patient with me.
Can't believe it is nearly halfway through the year and I hadn't been logging into FF . net for many months, time sure flies so fast! I received some encouraging reviews and follows for this story since the first chapter, and I would like to thank you guys for that. To be honest, I am not sure if this fanfic is good so far and I also wonder if this fanfic is interesting to the readers. I guess it is normal for an author to have some insecurities about his/her story (^^")

Anyway, see you all in the next chapter!

P.S. If you are reading this fanfic on other mirror websites such as gofanfiction . club, just to let you know that this fanfic is originally posted in fanfiction . net and only in fanfiction . net. That gofanfiction site is definitely a dodgy website, sorry to say this. I was so upset to discover that my fanfictions and other authors' fanfictions were 'stolen' and mirrored across to another website. If this isn't plagiarism, I don't know what this is.