Nihilism: A viewpoint that values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless
Making it through the repeat days wasn't as hard as he originally thought. It was more annoying than anything. Some conversations were just meant to be, Ed discovered. If he said or did a particular thing he could practically recite the outcome by now.
"You said that yesterday," Ed deadpanned.
"Oh, did I?" Havoc smiled, "Well, I still think it might flood."
Breda leaned in for the usual jibe, "I think you're the one who's flooded. You practically drank the bar dry last night."
Havoc smirked almost proudly, "I told you I could drink that officer under the table."
Falman glanced up from his pile of papers. "You know, if he ever finds out that you got the bartender to give you apple juice instead, he's going to sue you for everything you own."
"You were with them?" Fuery squeaked, unnoticed, from across the room.
Breda cackled, "You did that? Classic!"
Hawkeye snapped in the last component of her gun with a sharp click. Ed flinched. If he ever got out of this cycle he hoped he could leave unscathed. Just the sight of Hawkeye's gun in the morning made him flinch. He didn't need the post-traumatic stress from all this drama; he had enough of that in his life already.
"If you don't start helping Falman fill out and file the monthly reports, I'll make sure Officer Barkley finds out."
Fuery's unspoken expression spoke of disbelief. It wasn't often that Hawkeye stopped by a bar without the whole team. Still, her threat was one hundred percent sincere, and Havoc and Breda each scrambled to grab a stack of papers.
Hawkeye admonished Ed as well, "You shouldn't keep the Colonel waiting."
Ed glanced up to the desk where the Colonel had gone back to avoiding his paperwork while Ed ignored him from his spot next to Al at one desk. "Why? Because I have another mission that can't wait until tomorrow?"
The Colonel froze.
Bingo.
"If it waits any longer I might not capture that alchemist that's gone crazy in Central, or worse, if I wait too long I might get hurt being reckless or something and that'd be the real tragedy," his voice was flat. Subtlety wasn't his style, but he was getting bored, and even if Mustang meant to kill him in the end, Ed still found it amusing to eke out a reaction.
He didn't hang around much longer after Mustang slid on a perfect mask of bewilderment; it sickened Ed to think about how well he had been played in the past, even if he sometimes saw through it.
Ed wandered the streets, wishing for sleep and knowing if he stayed in bed, Armstrong would be sent to muscle him back to "health". That Idiot Colonel was rather clever, thinking he could use that gentle giant as a front for concern. Well, Ed was through being deceived.
He walked right into the ambush, ready to beat his future captors to death if he had to. Avoiding his own death was that simple. If he never got kidnapped, Mustang couldn't kill him.
Ed really thought he had them at the throat until he missed a punch.
Truth sat waiting for him, and before Ed had a chance to orient himself, he was back on his dorm bed with a single word echoing in his mind.
On second thought, this was a lot harder than anticipated.
… … … …
Charging through each day and attempting to survive only got him so far, and each time evening came, the furthest he ever found himself was on the floor with a blaring concussion and Mustang's gun locked between his eyes.
He needed a different approach.
Apparently Al thought the same thing.
"It doesn't have that much milk in it, Brother," Al coaxed from across the booth.
Ed slumped in his seat, content to grumble like normal for once. "Ice cream is just flavored cow juice," he claimed.
"Chocolate flavored cow juice," Al reminded.
After a morning of raman and avoiding Mustang and Armstrong, Al had insisted they top off their sluff day with a treat. Ed indulged him, tired of facing the same nightmare with his brother's worried and longing voice forefront of it all.
"I'm not eating it," he folded his arms in petulance.
Al scooted the bowl toward him. "Just try it. I promise it's not that bad."
Ed glared down the bowl. Across from him Al slouched lower in his seat. Guilt hit him then. Al loved ice cream when their mom was alive. She would make it fresh just for him, and Al would eat it straight from the machine. He hadn't eaten ice cream after she died regardless of who made it.
It was one of those joys taken from Al before everything else was taken too.
Ed grabbed the spoon. He steeled his stomach, and dug into the soft mass with determination.
The chocolate melted on his tongue, rich and smooth with an overlay of cold that sweetened the taste. He savored the flavor until it puddled in his mouth like the slimy milk it was made of.
"It's okay," he offered grudgingly, not wanting to lie, but needing to rid Al of that pitiful sadness in his soul fire eyes. He spooned up another mouthful.
Al crossed his arms, eyes glinting lightly, "Told you."
Ed jabbed his spoon at Al's chest. "It still made of cow secretions!" and with that declaration, he proceeded to finish the scoop and order another and another and one more after that. It wasn't that bad.
He hadn't eaten so much in weeks. He emerged from the ice cream shop with his stomach bulging and his mind fresh from the change in activity.
It wasn't fair that such a pleasant morning could end the same as a bad one. Ed and Al were both taken despite their best efforts, and with that, Ed was beginning to rethink the theory of him being the butt of some cosmic joke.
Al was unusually still against the back wall when Ed woke. So this time Ed didn't look into his killer's eyes as he died. This time he kept his eyes closed so his brother couldn't see the pain in them as everything disappeared in a whirl of white once more.
… … … …
"Haven't figured it out yet, have you, Mr. Alchemist?" Truth bared its overwhelming grin, but even to Ed it looked a little strained. If Ed's perception could be trusted – truly a moot point – Truth was just a teensy bit frustrated. It wasn't the only one.
"Figured what out?" Ed scowled. "What do you want from me?"
Truth only pointed through the door.
"Again."
… … … …
The most vexing part of the time loop, Ed soon discovered, was being stuck with the same ignorant people. He had tried talking his situation out with Al. Surely his little brother would believe him.
That never ended productively. Sometimes it was an outright repeat of his conversation about déjà vu, but often it only ended in Al telling Ed to get back into bed and to deliver the report in an hour after he rested up. Al's diagnosis of the situation: insomnia induced paranoia.
That had already been crossed off Ed's list days ago.
Ed had no one to bounce ideas off. He alone remained in the situation, and he alone had to solve it. If the whole problem wasn't so serious he might have laughed. Since That Day, Ed knew he was alone in his understanding of the world. No one else could save himself or his baby brother. Only he could fix their mistakes. Now was no different, except this time Ed had eternity to figure it out, and if he discovered that there was nothing he could do to change it, well, he'd figure that out later.
To avoid grinding himself into a rut, Ed took one morning off to go over the facts and see what else he could come up with.
Mustang kills me
The stupid rainstorm
Al and I get separated
Attempts to leave the city end in capture
Now that was a thought. Did the time loop extend past the city or was Central the only area affected? Logically if there was a time loop, it wouldn't be just one zone, but then nothing about this was logical.
A fresh idea sparked in his mind.
After feeling the bullet blast through his brains for the fourteenth – or was it fifteenth? – time, Ed secluded himself in an empty phone booth. He kicked a boot against the weathered glass. Outside, Al hunched protectively over two stray cats. Ed pretended he didn't notice the curious glances directed at him whenever Al thought he wasn't paying attention.
"Hello?"
"Sensei," he greeted, then hesitated. He hadn't thought through how to explain anything.
Taking Ed's pause the wrong way, Izumi presumed, "Who are you in trouble with?"
Edward could feel the frown of disapproval through the phone.
Might as well start with the strangest factor in this whole mess: "Truth."
All sound on the other end of the line stopped. After a second Ed heard receding footsteps. Izumi replaced the phone to her ear.
"What happened?"
"I'm not entirely sure," Ed admitted. "Sensei, how have the past few days been for you? Anything odd going on?" Like unexpectedly going through the motions of the same Monday for an entire week?
"…We had a request for thirty pounds of bear meat from a vegetarian organization, but that's not what you mean." Izumi surmised. "Edward…"
The hiss in her voice suggested that she would rather talk in person about illegal subjects such as Human Transmutation and its side effects. Ed couldn't bring himself to care. If everything worked out the same as usual, he'd have no reason to worry. It'd be like this conversation never took place.
"I know, but I need you to do something. Call me at noon tomorrow."
"What does that have to do with Truth?"
"I can't say. That would defeat the purpose of the experiment."
There was a long pause on the other end. "…When I call back, you're telling me everything."
Fair enough. "Deal."
By late afternoon the next day she still hadn't called. Ed dialed her number. To his lack of surprise, she had forgotten everything.
Two hours later Mustang killed him, and by the following morning no one had any idea that he had ever been gone.
So we've seen Ed go through the first day, realize he's repeating the same day, and now over the course of two or more weeks he's trying to account for what's going on in order to figure out his true situation, the people actually involved, and what to do about it. Unfortunately, in the next chapter, he hits a...breakthrough. And I most definitely did NOT enjoy writing that chapter. Oh no, most definitely not...hehe.
Fun fact about this chapter: it's the shortest one I've written for this fanfic.
Thanks for all the reviews of support and speculation. This has been so incredible! Your theories are a delight to read, especially for a story like this. Until it is finished, all updates will continue to be on Mondays.
Have a fun-filled week, everyone!
-Dante