BCC 13 Charm – It Runs in the Family

A/N: As usual, familiar characters belong to Ms. Evanovich, the others escaped from my warped mind and all the mistakes belong to me. Hopefully there aren't too many...

LESTER POV

"Ladies, shall we order some wine?"I asked a little louder than I normally would just in case any of my mature dates were hard of hearing. I gauged several nods and a 'You betcha, Sonny!' from the woman that seems the most like Edna; Gloria, I think her name is. I made sure all the ladies were seated then realized I'd lost Edna somewhere. I've been around the world and seen some things I pray that one day I can forget; but the feeling of panic that overcame me at the realization that wild woman Mazur was missing had me quaking in the expensive Italian shoes I was wearing. I'm not sure if I was more afraid of Steph and what she'll do to me if something happened to her granny or terrified of what the crazy old bat might have been cooking up for me in her absence!

I took a quick glance around and noticed my cousin and Steph at a table in the back watching me and Bobby and his girlfriend a couple tables down from them. Looked like I was the entertainment of the night. I'd show them. Watch and learn at the feet of the master boys!

"Yeouch!" Dammit, I groaned inwardly as Gloria grabbed and squeezed a handful of US Grade A Prime cut beefcake. I sighed as I pried her grip off my ass. Sigh. This was going to be a long night at this rate. I narrowed my eyes at her. "We talked about this Gloria," I said pointedly. "Party pooper," she pouted, "For what it's worth, you have a really nice derriere."

"Thanks?" I said a little shaken. "If we could keep it unbruised I'd appreciate it." I'd have to get my wits about me or this bunch would chew me up and spit me out. Deep breath Santos. A thought occurred to me as I rubbed the new bruise- I wonder how much Steph will be like her granny...Ric thought she was a handful now! I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at the possibilities in the future. "Just wait cuz," I said under my breath, before returning my attention to the ladies.

The waiter brought and poured the wine and left menus for us to peruse. I maneuvered my way to a spot at the table next to the blonde woman in the pink cardigan set and pearls. She seemed to be maybe a little more demure. I'm not exactly sure what I thought Edna's friends would be like. God help the Burg if they were all as wild as she was.

"What is your name?" I asked taking the seat between her and a very tall, slender woman with salt and pepper hair that I'd guess for early sixties. She shook my hand and introduced herself as Susan, a retired school teacher. "And this," she said presenting the blonde lady to my left, "is Liza, she was widowed a few years back and we thought she needed to get out."

I turned to Liza and gently took her hand in both of mine and looked into her pretty green eyes. "It's a pleasure to meet you Liza. I'm sorry for your loss. She smiled shyly at me and gave me a nod. "Will you save me a dance later?" I asked my attention fully on her. She looked up at me and said "I'd like that." I smiled at her and then looked across the table to speak to the only date I had left to meet. I reached across and touched her hand as I addressed her with a warm smile. And who is this lovely lady?"

She appeared to be mid 60's, heavy set with a round sweet face. She was dressed more festively in a shiny metallic looking blouse and skirt.Her perfume was a little strong but pleasant. I reached across the table again this time I took her hand gently in mine. "I'm Lester and you are?"

"Marlene."

"Marlene, that is a lovely name," I told her giving her one of my patented lady-killer smiles. She blushed and thanked me. Before I could get any further I heard Edna return to the table and pull up the empty seat. "Sorry ladies," she said a little out of breath, "I got distracted."

"OOH spill it girlfriend!" Gloria exclaimed.

It gave me a chill seeing that satisfied expression on her face. What is she up to?

As I was pondering that, the waiter returned to take our orders. I let out a small sigh and picked up my menu.

TANK POV

My date was a pushy little thing. When the auction was over she grabbed a couple of my fingers, I think because there is no way she could grip my whole hand, as tiny as her's were. I have to admit I felt silly being pulled around by two fingers behind a petite, blonde, white woman who if she had been any paler she'd have been see through! She led me out to car and I stopped abruptly which shot her body back like a sling shot against me. "Umph," she grunted peeling herself back. I just stared at her weeble car. I swear it wasn't any bigger that ones I played with as a small boy. I used to put Lego and green plastic army men inside them. She looked at me then the car and back at me and swished her mouth from side to side as she mulled over the obvious problem.

"Let's take my truck," I offered, "There is no way I am going to fit in that." I said pointing to a car that I would guess is smaller that my bed at home. The only way I was going to fit in that thing was to cut the roof off, pull the front seats out and make leg holes in the floorboards to make this a Flintstones type car! That was not an option. I was in NO mood to get my Yabba Dabba Doo on!

We maneuvered to my truck and lifted her into the passenger seat and hurried around to the driver's side. We drove in silence a few minutes. The quiet unnerved me so I peeked over at her out of the corner of my eye. Granted I don't drive around with ladies often-just Lula and Steph and neither of them would ever be accused of being quiet!

"Take a left at the light," she instructed.

"The restaurant is this way," I pointed in the opposite direction as I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"I have something else in mind," she said staring out at traffic.

I swallowed hard. "You know this is a platonic date," I began, "I have a girlfriend."

She waved that off with a flick of her hand. "I'm not looking for a hook up, handsome, " she grinned, "Just need a little help."

"Help with what?" I asked wondering if I was going to need my gun or what.

"Right here," she said pointing her skinny arm in front of my face indicating a half full parking lot in front of a non-descript, metal warehouse building. Light glowed through the dingy window. Clearly there was activity inside.

"What is going on? The auction date is dinner and maybe a little dancing. I am not your flunky to beat up some low life or whatever crazy idea you have in mind."

Without a word she opened the door and hopped out slamming it behind her. "You comin'?" she asked holding her arms out in question.

I groaned and followed her. I couldn't in good conscience leave her here in this neighborhood. She peeled her sweater off over her head as she neared the door revealing a tight tank top underneath. The noise level climbed rapidly as we drew closer. "What the hell," I muttered trying to keep up with her and surprised at how fast her short little legs carried her. She didn't even slow down as she ripped the metal door open. "Ladies! Look what I found!" she shouted;her voice piercing the roar of the rowdy crowd. She peeled off her skirt leaving tight, spandex shorts clinging to her like a second skin. She tossed her conservative clothes on a metal folding chair and headed toward the bulk of the crowd.

"What is this?" I asked again. She grabbed my fingers and pulled me forward. I tried to take everything in, my head moved quickly back and forth as I tried to assess any danger and prepare for whatever I'd reluctantly gotten myself into.

She lead me through the crowd to the boxing ring in the center of the room. There must have been a couple hundred similarly dressed women around it. I dug my heels in as she tried to drag me to the ring. "I'm not fighting any women," I warned, "Or any men for that matter. This is not the civilized evening I had in mind."

She smiled a calculating smile that clearly held a devious plan behind it. "You aren't here for that. You're here to help me win. These bitches won't try to double team me with the likes of a human Mount Everest in my corner!"

I glared at her a moment before continuing to follow her. "I better not regret this," I growled.

ERNESTO POV

What an enchanting creature that woman is. I grinned as I watched her walk away. She is unlike most women around my age. Edna is so vivacious and has such pretty blue eyes that sparkle full of life. I can still feel where she pinched me. I don't think I have ever had a woman pinch my behind. I have to admit I liked it. I'll keep an eye out for her tonight. I can't let her leave before I have her number. That is one feisty little firecracker that I have to see again. OK Nesto, I told myself, get your head in the game. You are here to meet family.

I strolled through the dining room and saw a table of lovely ladies and made my way over.

"Lester my boy!" I said as I spotted my my favorite grandson.

"Poppa" He grinned, and jumped to his feet embracing me in a fierce hug. "I'm happy to see you!" he exclaimed.

"What have you got going on here?" I asked looking around the table full of ladies. They all seemed pleasant but one had her head turned and her body was hidden behind the chair.

" I was in a bachelor auction for charity," Lester said, "And these fine ladies had the winning bid so we are here for dinner and dancing. Please join us. I could use the reinforcements, as you can see I am greatly outnumbered!"

"I'd be delighted," I said and took Lester's seat.

"Ladies," Lester announced with a twinkle in his eyes, "This is my grandfather, Ernesto Santos, "

"Ernesto?"