Ok... love you all - seriously - but I got this. You know how much I like to tangle them up before I untangle it all. Be Jedi-like and practice , onto more um, pressing matters ;) ...you'll see why I winked.

xxxmtfbwyxxx

Chapter 6: Princess Lost

Damn him! Damn that man to his nine Corellian hells!

The door slid shut and Leia paced the room trying to control her emotions. What was it with her that he had this kind of effect? Whenever they were around one another, it was never simple. Passion of some sort or another was the only constant between them. Either they were fighting or they were…

How did it come to this?

Leia looked toward the ceiling to stem the wave of tears that threatened to overtake her. She refused to shed tears over him. That one time was more than enough.

She prided herself on controlling her emotions and herself in general. So, how had things gone so very far out of control? Become so tangled? The feelings he stirred up in her were overwhelming. She had never felt less in control than when she was around him. Everything was wrong and right at the same time. Mostly, it was a mangled mess and logic was useless against it.

Almost from the minute she saw him, she wanted him. She realized it could've had something to do with her mental state at the time. The newly worn off interrogation drugs, the impact of watching Alderaan die, and her resolved feelings about her own certain termination left her feeling vulnerable.

Once she and Luke had encountered him in the prison hallway, she instantly identified Han as a strong leader. She had wanted to latch onto him and let him lead her out… for about thirty seconds, before she saw she would have to do it herself. Still, in that trash compactor, he had done his best to take care of her. Even after assisting Luke in blowing up the Death Star, he had made his sense of protectiveness for her apparent. A part of her was drawn to that, but that wasn't the source of her attraction.

There was something about him that she couldn't dismiss. Maybe it was his foolhardy level of courage? That had really struck an instant chord in her. More likely it was his unfailing and sometimes infuriating confidence. Where most men had a habit of falling at her feet or gushing over her, Solo sauntered around expecting her to chase him. Force knew she had to stop herself from doing it – even now. The man was the sheer embodiment of sexual swagger and had the experience and skills to back it up.

Nevertheless, Leia hated it when a plan backfired. All she had wanted to do was get him out of her system. Yes, it had been a somewhat impulsive plan, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Eventually, she had concluded her growing attraction to him was a way for her to hide from the sorrow of Alderaan. It was her mind's way to distract her from the pain that lurked beneath her surface threatening to engulf her entirely. Grieving Alderaan was not something she could allow herself now and possibly never if she were serious about taking down the Empire. Clamping down on those feelings and compartmentalizing them had left an empty dead space that Han Solo's natural larger-than-life personality seemed to fill up effortlessly. Luke's gentle sweetness claimed some of that space, but Han made her feel alive again and that was addicting in ways that she couldn't have predicted.

While her physical attraction to him was a definite distraction from Alderaan, Han Solo threatened to wreck her focus on the Alliance as well. Ignoring it all became impossible. Dealing with it appeared the only option. The plan had been solely a way to acknowledge her undeniable sexual attraction and assuage it, hoping the feeling would be dispelled and let her get back to her real focus.

On that fateful mission, she had enough of her irritating Han Solo distraction and decided to deal with it. She would handle it like any other obstacle. Confront it head on, get it over with and be able to move onto important things. There was no need to bring emotions into it when it was purely hormonal. She never felt bad about using him to satiate her built up desire for one second. After all, he was getting something nobody had ever had out of the deal: her.

Besides, the Captain of the Millennium Falcon wasn't a naïve boy from some backwater system like Luke. He was experienced in the ways of the galaxy and unquestionably experienced where women were concerned. With his intensely handsome looks, he had plenty of female attention and wasn't the looking for a relationship anytime soon.

It had worked like a charm, too, except for the hiccup with the kissing. She shouldn't have been surprised, but was anyway. Having considered it plenty of times before, Leia decided that was a dangerous idea. Being new at the game, she didn't trust herself. It was very possible that if she kissed him, she wouldn't be able to keep it purely sexual.

Kissing always seemed so emotionally intimate. You're looking into each other's eyes with all the vulnerability your soul has to offer as you are drawn to one another. Granted she had very little experience in the kissing department and none in the sexual department, for that matter, before Han came into her life.

Now, she was an expert in the latter and aching to become an expert in the former. But back then, everything was fine and she thought she was through with it. She was focused and fully in control of her faculties and emotions. In fact, after their sexual romp, she felt freer than she ever had. She was no longer the uninitiated virgin, her long built-up arousing desires had been assuaged, and she went out the business of taking down the Empire with more energized focus than ever before.

Well, that worked for a few days. Once she saw Solo again, her hormones started arguing with her and with him. At first, it wasn't terrible. She was able to dismiss it, handle it. When he came to close, it was easy to find a way to argue with him to get him to back off and make herself not want to be around him.

There were short missions with him after that, but not alone. Someone was always there and the buffer proved enough to deter them from taking any action. However, the exposure to each other and reliance on one another for the mission would encourage her latent desires. Again, she tamped these hormones down and relegated them to a corner of her being where she attempted to ignore them.

Meanwhile, Han was increasingly on the warpath urging her to acknowledge what happened between them. At some point, they had found themselves alone for a second time on a mission. She wanted to cut him off at the pass in case he had any stupid ideas. She told him point blank to forget anything ever happened, dismissing it as merely a matter of fortuitous circumstance on that mission …

"I told you to forget it, Captain."

"C'mon, Sweetheart, how can you say you don't want to do it again, huh?"

"It was a one-time thing that will not be repeated. Surely, you've dealt with that situation before."

"Of course, but you're different from those women."

She narrowed her eyes at him wondering what his angle was. It bothered her that he seemingly just complimented her. With him though, it could be anything.

"You are a princess."

"Yes, and you did benefit on that front. So drop it." She glared at him

He considered her point for a second before understanding came over him. He leaned backward onto a heel and wagged a contemptible finger at her. "Oh, I get it. I won the 'pirate's prize,' so I should consider myself a lucky guy." The sarcasm that dripped from his voice felt like poison to her. He waved his hand in dismissal and walked towards the in-room small bar of their hotel. "Fine. Pleasure doing business with ya, Your Royalness."

He poured a whiskey and downed it in one gulp, no longer paying attention to her. He went to pour another, decided against it and headed for the door obviously intent on drinking elsewhere.

… She had drawn herself up as haughtily as possible knowing she was close to her goal of him walking away from her and leaving her alone. To this day, she didn't know why she couldn't have just left it at that. It made no sense to her at all…

"What's the 'pirate's prize?"

Stopping in mid-stride, he turned and stalked back to where she was standing. His hazel eyes were so darkly penetrating and his strides so determined that Leia found herself taking several steps backward until she was almost backed up against a wall.

"I was your first. The 'pirate's prize' is a princess's virginity." He growled with intent. "You've never heard that before?"

She shook her head. A little scared and suddenly uncontrollably aroused by his strong body looming so closely over her that she swore she felt his voice vibrate.

He studied her eyes for a long moment looking for something. She didn't know what he had been looking for, but she held his judging gaze.

"There's one thing wrong with your idea Princess. It's only good when a pirate takes the prize."

He grabbed her hands, butterflied them up next to her head and pressed his body against hers. Han's face hovered so close she knew he could feel her breath on his face the way she felt his. He did nothing. Waited.

She leaned into him with a start. It was enough to push him away and allow her right leg to lift up over his hip. She would never forget the look on his face as he noticed her actions and how his crooked half-smile slowly slid up his face turning her on even more. His smile had grown to full strength when she immediately leaned her weight back into her hands and shoulders for leverage to repeat the movement with her right leg and latch her left leg around him.

"I dare you, Hotshot." If anyone was going to be the aggressor in this, it was going to be her. She had to keep control for her plan to work. Besides, he was her prey, not the other way around.

"You're somethin' else, Princess."

Solo stepped back allowing her legs to fall down to the floor once again. He released her hands to use his to unfasten her pants and rip off her panties immediately placing his mouth where they had been. Leia gripped his head and moaned.

He ripped open his own pants and snaked off her pants from her ankles. His hands found the bare skin of her hips and waist stroking up the sides until he covered her breasts. Her nipples were already taut with desire when his fingertips brought the nerve endings there to a new level, causing Leia to dig her nails into his shoulders as her head fell back against the wall with another moan.

Han went straight for her throat where he knew she liked it and sucked as he reached down to her naked softness to stroke her only once or twice before pushing a his finger inside of her. Leia couldn't stop another moan escaping. Han growled and joined the first finger with a second and her sense of wantonness grew instantly.

She almost slipped when he lifted his head to kiss her, but she roughly shoved her hands through his hair and grabbed his head at the last moment. Planting her mouth on his ear, she darted her wet tongue in and out of his ear. As she gyrated with his finger movement, she whispered huskily into his ear in challenge, "Is that how you claim your prize, Captain?"

Leia felt him jerk from her hot breath in his moist ear. In answer, his hand slipped out from between them. He grabbed her around the waist and pushed her higher up the wall.

"No more 'nice guy' then." He smoothed his hands down over her buttocks as she cradled her legs around him and thrust himself inside of her.

Her body gripped all of him as he filled her up, forcing him to freeze in place. He clenched his eyes shut and threw his head back as he growled, "You feel so fucking good."

He began to thrust slowly at first then adjusted his stance and found an extremely pleasurable rhythm that combined the forceful roughness of taking her and true sweet hunger of desire. She arched her body to meet his seeking the full pleasure.

He grunted roughly at her eagerness, "You like it rough, Princess?" Pinning her to the wall with his weight, he captured both of her hands, and pinned them above her. He held them there with one hand as he adjusted his hold on her with the other. "I'm gonna spoil your tight little cunt for anyone but me."

Every time he pounded into her body, her breath left her as her arousal grew…

No, no, no!

Thinking like that would get her nowhere! Han Solo ignited hormones were not going to rule her. She knew her emotions were yearning for him along with her desire. It had to stop and it had to stop definitively before it went beyond her control altogether.

Force knows she tried to keep her sexual needs completely separate from her life in the Rebellion, but she had not counted on her desire for the Corellian growing exponentially after each mission. She had thought after two years, it would have worked its way out of her system or his and he would've left by now. It had only been a handful of missions where they had been alone, but that should've been enough time.

If anything, Leia was craving him more than ever. It was as if they had gone back to the beginning. When he cornered her in the base hallway the other day, she had to use every bit of her control not to pull him into a nearby supply storeroom and rip his clothes off. She loathed that he had that effect on her. She hated that her feelings had flourished for him as well.

That first kiss in the shower had been her complete undoing and she knew it. After that night, she woke knowing it all had to stop because she was out of control and that was unacceptable. Especially, with their accidental bumping into each other just now unraveling her yet again. Her plan was decidedly not working.

I have to figure this out

It wasn't the kissing after all, she surmised. It was that there was too long a break in between naked romps with him. Her efforts at nearly full avoidance had been preventing her from removing him from her system.

It had been a good plan. It was still a good plan. It just needed some slight modification. If she could think of a way to relieve the built up pressure between them while they were on base, it should do the trick of making it all become less tantalizing or even interesting. Once sex was just sex between them, then she could put the whole idea away and move on.

So could Han. How long had she been trying to get him to formally join the Alliance to no avail? Too long. He wasn't interested in any sort of commitment to the Alliance and therefore, could never be interested in any sort of genuine commitment to her. Any man that she could take the time and energy to trust with her feelings would never leave her and would see how important it was to give his all to the Rebellion.

The whole point of this venture had been to protect herself from caring about or forming close relationships with people. Otherwise she would be left vulnerable to the Empire taking them away from her and devastating her continually. Keeping her distance emotionally meant she could focus on the greater need of caring about everyone that the Empire oppressed as a whole. She could be much more effective that way. Personal entanglements would distract from that and losing someone close to her heart would be too painful to bear after Alderaan.

As long as they used each other and neither one cared, it didn't matter. The problem was that she was feeling more emotions that couldn't be ignored and was not in a position to handle any of it.

She could figure this out. In the name of self-preservation, she simply had to. It no longer mattered how it had come to this. It had to fixed.

She commed Luke to see if he was available. She hated to admit it, but Han had been right. Luke would do anything for her.

"Luke?"

"Leia! How are you?"

"I'm wondering if you are interested in having dinner on the Falcon with me tonight. It seems Captain Solo is willing to cook for us."

"And I suppose that includes a round or two of sabacc?" Luke chuckled.

"He didn't mention that, but knowing Han that's a given." Leia laughed as well.

"Sounds like fun. I'll come find you after my shift."

"Ok. I'll be in the Command Center. See you then."

"See you then, Princess."

Knowing Han there would be sabacc, for sure. Knowing Han. Sabacc. An idea formulated in her head. This could work.

xxxmtfbwyxxx