To be a Returner

After riding down the wild rapids on a simple wooden raft, Terra's legs felt like pudding. Regardless though, she was pretty relieved to be off the water. Considering they lost one of their number to a giant talking octopus during the ride, her first experience on water (that she could remember) was one she was happy to put behind her. Thankfully, Edgar didn't seem nearly as concerned over Sabin's separation as she was, which helped calm her worry. The king seemed fully confident in his brothers ability to survive, and for that she was relieved.

So with that behind her, she now found herself heading back to the city that started it all, Narshe, this time accompanied by the flirtatious king she'd come to know fairly well and the leader of the Returners, Banon, who she felt she didn't know at all. They hadn't really had time to become acquainted back at the headquarters, and there certainly wasn't any simple chatting going on during that crazy raft ride. Actually, even the Returners as a group weren't something she knew much about, they were really just a concept to her. They were opposed to the Empire, that much was clear, but what lengths would they go to defeat them? What would they do once the Empire was gone? That they had people like Edgar and Locke among them meant a lot to her, and was the only reason she went to see them in the first place... but still.

It all really came to a point when she was asked to join them, and aid them in their fight against the Empire. Banon had called her 'their only hope', and said that she'd be the one to win the war. He made her nervous, honestly. Though he seemed well intentioned and kind, Banon didn't seem to see her as what she was... just a girl, one that didn't even know who she was, and certainly wasn't ready to have the fate of the world on her shoulders. Edgar did, Locke did, and their support was the only reason she hadn't curled up into a ball somewhere.

Sadly enough, even though she'd tried to make a decision back at the Returners base, in looking at her situation now, she realized that it hadn't decided anything at all. Regardless of her choice, she would have been right where she was, just coming off a raft escape from the Empire and returning to Narshe to see the Esper. She still felt like a game piece, moved by those around her. She still didn't really know what she was doing, or why...

"Hey," the soft voice brought her out of her thoughts, and her eyes met Edgar's shining blue ones looking down at her. A smile to match the voice crossed his features. "I know that look. That's the 'worried thinker' Terra face." Terra blinked; did her expressions come with labels? "What's wrong?"

Really, she hadn't even considered asking someone about things, rather then just thinking on her own, and if she couldn't ask her friends (her heart jumped in a way that made her smile to call others that) about her worries, then who could she? So she decided she would. "Edgar, why did you join the Returners?"

Eyebrow raised, Edgar's face showed his surprise at the question before he chuckled. "You do get right to the heart of it." Facing forward, he gathered his thoughts. "I've hated the Empire for a long time. They conquered cities, rather then allying with them. They were always the largest country, yet they stockpiled an army, and were never afraid to use it. Whatever they wanted, they took, however they could." His face hardened throughout the speech, becoming practically stone as he continued. "By the time I heard rumors that they'd poisoned my father to get their hands on Figaro, I was committed. He wanted nothing to do with the Empire, so they removed him. Simple as that." By this point, Edgar's hands were in fists, lost in his memories and feelings toward the Empire, and Terra was becoming upset. She hadn't met to anger Edgar or make him remember sad times, she'd simply wanted to know why, but now, she wasn't sure it was worth it.

Still, when he looked down to find her small hands on his, it would've be hard to say who was more surprised. A feeling had come over her, and she hadn't even realized she had moved, she'd just wanted him to feel better. Now though, she moved intentionally, pulling her hands back to her sides in a flash as embarrassment settled into her face with a pink flush. For his part, Edgar, anger forgotten, crossed from surprise to amusement rapidly as he watched the expressions flit across her face. It was like watching a child, awkward and unsure of what to do.

His foul mood had effectively disappeared. "Anyway, that's why I joined the Returners. I wanted to do something to stop the Empire from doing whatever it wanted, and do something to maybe protect my people, those I care about, from ever being the next victims. That's it."

Silence settled comfortably over them as she considered everything Edgar had to say. It all seemed fairly easy to see why people thought the Empire evil, and why they chose to fight it. Especially with what they'd done to her, it should've been an easy decision: fight them. She certainly never wanted to be under their control again, just the thought of things she'd done made her shudder... yet for some reason, it never seemed that simple in her mind. The Empire was bad, but they were still people. Why fight when it only caused pain?

Something from Edgar had resonated with her though: he fought to keep those he cared about safe. Would she fight to keep those close to her unhurt? Edgar, and Locke, and maybe even Sabin? The nice Chancellor of Figaro? The guards who'd smiled at her and welcomed her in? Arvis, the first man who's name she'd ever known, and who'd saved her life, 'given' her a life, and been nothing but kind to her? Would she hurt others, if she must, to protect them?

And suddenly the Returners made sense. She could imagine the people she'd seen roaming the hideout having lost people they cared about because of the Empire. Family, friends, lovers... She thought about losing Edgar now, who'd been with her through so much, or Locke, who'd helped her right from the start, or any number of others like them that she hadn't met yet. People had a right to live, happy and together.

She would fight the Empire, for as long as she needed, to protect the ones she cared about, no matter what. That was what it meant to be a Returner.

A/N: I knew I wanted to write more character to character interaction, but that's not quite how this one turned out, more another introspection. I also figure even Edgar can be serious at times. I'd meant to work his always flirty nature in, but it just didn't fit, so it didn't happen.

Stories do have a mind of their own.