Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VI, its characters, or lore.

Chained Heart

Celes' mood was at odds with the serenity of the region as she strode along in step with the older general at her side. Frustration at her own actions gnawed at her. She didn't know what compelled her to call out to Locke the way she did before leaving the boat, but he'd turned away from her... again. Now she was upset that none of them trusted her and angry at herself for still caring. In the days since she'd rejoined the Empire, she'd made peace with the separation from her once companions. The Empire was working to make things right, to fix all of the wrong that Kefka had created, and it was like being home again.

Or so she told herself.

In truth, it was far harder to forgive and forget then she'd hoped, or even just to forget. Slipping into her old life was like slipping into someone else's clothing – the fit may be right, but everything about it felt foreign. People she'd known before, even been on good terms with, looked at her differently after her return. Unaware of the occurrences behind the scenes, they knew only that she'd attempted to defect, been arrested, and now returned to her full position. Was she the Emperor's new favorite? Had she played double agent? There'd hardly been time to make any sort of announcement, not with the situation so dire, but people may not be swayed even if they had. They would believe what they were comfortable with, no matter how bad of a light it portrayed her in.

Which brought her mind back to those she'd nearly called 'friends'. They'd welcomed her in among them (some more then others) and shown her what it was to be wanted. To be liked. While uncomfortable at first, and completely against her sensibilities as a General, she'd become accustomed to her relationship with them faster then she'd like to admit. They'd given her everything she'd never had in the Empire.

Then they'd shown her how fragile that connection was.

She shook her head, grumbling. She was going in circles over the whole issue, and getting nowhere.

"You seem distraught," Leo noted, drawing her from her inner turmoil. "Do your friends concern you?"

"It's nothing," Celes responded, voice resigned. "I just don't know how to handle them. They don't think too highly of me it seems."

"They will come around," Leo assured her, "give them time."

"But I did nothing to wrong them!" she argued, her composure slipping. "Nothing to make them distrust me! What do they need time to figure out? That they've been complete idiots?"

He nodded. "Yes, though perhaps not in those words," he paused to look over at her surprised face. "Any hurtful words among friends pain all parties, all the more for the strong feelings connecting them. We are often the greatest of fools with those we allow closest to us."

Celes sighed. She knew it was all true, she'd never cared nor been hurt by the actions of others, not until she'd befriended their little group. "So what do I do then? Just forgive them? Act like it never happened?"

"What you decide is up to you," Leo responded, unperturbed by the disdain in her questions. "You should consider carefully though. Ask yourself, have you ever made a mistake, or done something you truly regret? Perhaps you didn't even understand your reasoning at the time, yet you proceeded anyway." He paused to look into her eyes. "Does that remind you of nothing?"

A lump formed in her throat and she wasn't sure she could take a breath. She did indeed have regrets, things that she would never forgive herself for, never let go of. Maranda, a town unlucky enough to gain the Empire's ire, sprang foremost to mind. The Emperor decided the small town opposed the Empire, so he sent one of his Generals out to deal with it. Celes had taken the units under her command, marched on Maranda, and torched it. That she hadn't stopped to consider what they'd done until afterward still shook her. Homes were lost that day, people had died, because of her.

She forced herself to push the thoughts aside as her breath sped up with the horror of the memory. Leo watched her, nodding at her reaction with that same calmness in his eyes. "We all have moments of our life such as that. We hope others do not judge us by them the way we judge ourselves, yet people cannot always help how they see another. Only our actions can define us in another's eyes."

"Why wouldn't they believe in me now then?"

"Are you not part of the Empire once more? Have you not, in a way, placed yourself into the position that Kefka accused you of?" He continued before she could respond. "No, you did not betray your friends to him as he led them to believe, but you have no doubt confused them. The Empire is everything they've fought against, yet now here you stand among us. A friend, yet also a potential enemy."

Celes shook her head and kicked at the ground in frustration. "How am I supposed to fix that? Turn around and betray the Empire to them? Butter them up and pretend I was a spy for then all along?"

"No," Leo responded, unfazed by her treasonous words. "The past is done, and you must place it behind you. Only you know who you are. Be that person, and they will see it too."

Whenever she'd spent any time with General Leo, she was always amazed at the man. He always had an answer, always had words she needed to hear, whether she wanted to or not. She couldn't imagine how he could be everything that he was, he couldn't possibly be that perfect. "General," she began, hesitant to broach the subject, "if I may ask, do you have any regrets?"

For the first time, she saw a flicker in his gaze. It was subtle, and she couldn't define it, but it cracked his hard persona. He turned away, preventing her from seeing any more. "As I said, we all have such things in our past, even, I imagine, the Emperor himself." He went silent then, and she thought that the end of it.

"Doma," he began again, surprising her, "was under my watch, it was my mission. Had I not been required to report to the Emperor..." A barely audible sigh escaped him. "Kefka acted out of turn, and were it my place to decide so, I would have him dead at my feet." Celes stared at his form, taken aback at the venom in the man's voice, so unlike his normal self. A moment later he looked to her, once again the level headed general that she knew. "His fate will be judged by the Emperor, and with my Lord's eyes open to his treachery, Kefka will not escape payment for his actions."

Curiosity got the better of her. "But that doesn't make you feel any better about Doma, does it?"

He shook his head. "I will forever shoulder that burden, but I did as required in my service, as I always have and will continue to do. That is the path I have chosen to take."

She held any further questions then, not wanting to bring up anymore painful memories. At that moment, Celes felt she understood General Leo a little better. He was a man she'd always admired and looked up to, but she realized he was not someone she could ever be. No matter the consequences, he stood by his decisions – his loyalties – and his faith in the Emperor was absolute. Never would he consider turning against the Empire as she did, yet that was one decision she didn't regret at all, as she couldn't support actions she didn't believe in. Leo was a soldier, and she was... something else. She didn't really know what. For as long as she could remember, she'd held the position of soldier, eventually attaining the rank of General and Magitek Knight, but she no longer felt like she fit into the role. Seeing Leo, the perfect soldier, before her eyes she knew that would never be her.

Who was she then?

If even she couldn't answer that, how could she fault her friends for not knowing? She'd accomplished so much in her short life, but it'd all happened so fast that she never considered if she wanted any of it. Not that it may have mattered of course, the Empire chose her, raised her, and groomed her for the position she held. Everything they asked of her, she accomplished, and it wasn't until she defected that she really began to make her own decisions, yet there she was again, back under the Empire's wing. After everything they'd done to her, why had she so willingly gone back to them?

There was so much to consider. Leo's words helped her see so much more, even if she didn't know what to make of it all. For the moment though, she was still a General, and she had a task to complete, one which she did believe in and support. Creating peace between the Empire and Esper kind came first, she could focus on making peace with her friends later. It still hurt that they'd turned away from her, and it wouldn't be easy to fix, but she'd begun to at least believe that it could be. After all, if Terra could so easily forgive Celes for everything she'd allowed to happen to the girl under the Empire, how could Celes not forgive them now?

She fought down a sudden urge to laugh at how easily the willingness to forgive them settled on her once she stopped fighting it. Maybe they'd believe her, maybe they wouldn't, it wouldn't change her feelings again. Celes was who she was, and maybe that person wouldn't be so hard to figure out after all.

A/N:

That one took way too long to finish, and I can only claim procrastination as the cause. I'm determined to continue writing, but... it's hard to keep that focus when I do it for no reason other then that I want to.

Anyway, there's still one more coming in this line, and it'll be up soon. Hope you look forward to it!

Also!

If you're interested, I'll be posting current/future writing projects to my profile. Check it out occasionally!

~ Zephyr