Somehow I'm making this chapter happen today. It has been a real struggle this week. Everybody happy?

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Chapter 18: Don't Go All Mushy On Me

Finally alone and on the way to Ord Mantell had instigated a round of intimacy that had started in the Falcon's cockpit and ended up in Han's bunk. Lying next to him in his bunk, knowing there was no real rush since Chewie wouldn't be around and she was not due in the Command Center, she took a few minutes to enjoy the full relaxation. She heard Han snoring next to her.

It was something she found a bit amusing. For her, sex was energizing in many ways as well as relaxing. It gave her a verve, a rejuvenating awakeness within her peacefulness that was like no other boost. Han was much more literal about it. His orgasmic highs were powerfully exhausting and he tended toward a short snooze during intermission unless something redirected his attention.

Leia moved off the bunk to head to Falcon's head to get clean. This last round of sweating had been fun, but she was ready for some freshening up.

What was happening to her? Leia was a jumble of emotions. It had been a less than a month into their bet and she was already lost. The mere idea of Han sent shivers down her spine. She could feel her face, no, her entire being light up whenever he came into the room. Her concentration had dwindled and she would 'steal' seconds away from important business just to think of him.

If she had a few minutes or decided she needed a few minutes, she would seek him out. If she found him anywhere near the Falcon, she would come up with some lame public excuse why she needed to speak with him in private. In actuality, she was hoping he would take the opportunity to smother her other with sensual kisses and promises of intimacy at the first opportunity.

Before, where she had done her best not to think of him or only think of him sexually, she now dreamed of his sweet kiss or his murmured pledge of finding her beautiful while entangled in his arms before they slept.

She turned on the Falcon's controls for the water shower and let the soothing stream wet down her hair. He never admitted it, but she suspected Han installed the system partly for her. She had mentioned during the establishment of the new base on Recron Sola how she enjoyed being able to take a water shower before the medal ceremony on Yavin. Within the next year, Han had installed a water shower on the Falcon, but said nothing until Leia had occasion to use it on the next mission. Even then he played it off as something he had been meaning to do and finally got around to doing it. No big deal.

Since Leia had no idea what to do or say about it, she had said nothing other than it was one thing the flying piece of junk that she hoped would continue to work. At least it has, she thought happily as she washed the soapy bubbles down her body. It was so much more satisfying that sonics, especially since she and Han had occasion to use it together.

She was in trouble and she knew it. This had never been the plan. It couldn't be the plan. At the moment, she didn't care. All she cared about was the next time those hazel eyes of hers would make her melt as he stared into her eyes.

Leia had learned to trust her intuition over the years and her intuition had been telling her she and they were on the right track. She didn't know how it was possible in all honesty. He certainly wasn't the kind of man on that she had ever envisioned herself with long term. He was not the type of man she was bred to consider as a mate and she knew that was precisely why she was initially attracted to him in the first place. He lived on the edges and was smart and skilled enough to do it well. His astonishingly good looks only added to that.

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She waited for him. Knew he would be there. He never missed their one of their pre-planned rendezvous before and she knew he wouldn't miss this one either.

Leia had been against splitting up during this part of the mission, but with Chewie not here, there was no other way. Her role complete, she decided to make their arranged meet up at the Falcon a special one. One she hoped neither of them would ever forget.

She checked around her. Cargo Bay #3 wasn't exactly the place she had imagined doing this, but she hadn't imagined any of this to begin with. It would do. It's not as if it would matter to him.

She didn't own any seductive underwear, and other then the standard rebel issue, there was no other choice. Although it was supposed to be intended for both genders use, it was decidedly more male-oriented out of necessity. Thinking that was not the impression she was looking to make, she had ditched it altogether and substituted one of Han's favorite light long sleeve shirts. She couldn't be absolutely sure, but the particular one she had chosen may have been the one he was wearing underneath the Stormtrooper armor when they met. It was a sight she would never forget.

She had pretended to re-pin her hair as she watched the handsome and already aggravating Imperial imposter extricate himself from the Stormtrooper armor. His shirt being pulled nearly off on the process was a site to see. His body had been hard to miss and she had a difficult time not staring. Even in her distressed state of mind after her interment in her cell and Alderaan, the flash of his skin after they had survived a close call with death was rejuvenation of her life force. A clear reminder that after every horrible thing that had just happened, she was still very much alive and capable of feeling.

She had been numb moments after Alderaan's destruction. As the numbness wore down, she had felt dead inside. It had not mattered because she knew she would be actually dead soon enough. Luke bursting into her cell had given her back that glimmer of hope to fight on. Meanwhile, Han had given her back that glimmer to actually feel something somehow.

She chucked at herself at these deep discernments, Oh, you have it bad, don't you?

The shirt had no traces of the trash compactor's smell and her memory of what he was wearing that day had become hazy as opposed to her memory of seeing his naked torso. Other memories of him, both large and small, from that day had done the opposite. They had become seared into brain and perhaps parts of her soul. It was those things that she had been fighting to control, to squash, erase anything so that she didn't have to face them for what they were.

Try as she might in every which way she could think to do, she could not eradicate her feelings for Han Solo. He wasn't just a generator of distracting hormonal urges as she had so desperately tried to believe for so long. He was the intangible part of her that could never be quashed by anyone or anything. Her connection to him, so deep and powerful, that it frightened her. Her need to have him near was crushing at times.

That had been the truth to her lie of his distraction.

Now having given free rein to her carnal desires and seeing them for minor part of the much larger whole of love, she was ready to surrender to it. Ready to fully surrender to the tantalizing glory of loving and expectedly being loved in return.

Leia arranged the pillows surrounding her once again. She looked around the area where they had stolen away to hide from Chewie in order for her to satisfy her end of the bet and his promise of complete discretion. Shaking her head with a ironic smile, she thought about how brilliant she swore she was in her plan, letting him think he had won, when is all reality, she had truly won without every understanding the actual prize at the time.

Han had known. Not that he had ever really said it, but he had to know. There was something just as deep there for him as it was for her. Something like this could never be one-sided. He had chased her as well. The whole time he had been pushing her for more and she had repeatedly refused to even entertain the idea in hopes of it all just blowing away with the wind.

"Well, Solo, you finally win," she said out loud with a wry lilt. He had decided to stay with the Rebellion and that was the final signal she had needed from him to believe in her heart that he wanted to be with her and shared her deep beliefs and goals. It wasn't a full commitment from him, but it was enough. Plenty fair until she gave him a real reason to hope for their future as a true couple. As soon as he walked into the door, she would sit him down, kiss him gently, and confess her love and need to be with him.

Now it was a mere matter of minutes before both of their lives indelibly changed.

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