My first thoughts were all nervous cuss words. In my head, thank god. I held my tongue that much at least. Thor was dressed in his Asgardian finest, a golden version of his everyday armor I had seen him in in the detailed illustrations, looking every bit the man I had imagined. Beside him was a petite woman who had been mentioned briefly in the book, as his wife Jane- a scientist from Midgard. Though she was dressed regally, (a beautiful lavender gown with intricate beading) I could sense her empathy for me, and was relieved that there was someone else here from Midgard I could talk to. I startled and shifted nervously under their gaze as the guard boomed: "The Lady Astrid, of Midgard." Loki quickly moved off to the side, avoiding my gaze, looking longingly at the door as though he wished to run. I scowled, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. But before I could, Thor was striding across the throne room and picking me up in a giant hug.
"Lady Astrid! Welcome, welcome to Asgard! We are overjoyed at your presence! We were not sure you would come, indeed!"
"Help" I squeaked, feeling his arms crushing me. Mona clawed at Thor's pants attempting to free me.
"Thor for Odin's sake put her down" Jane murmured, smiling and wincing at the same time. "Remember she's Midgardian. Like me she's breakable" Thor reluctantly set me down, eyes shining. . Loki rolled his eyes, sulking. Then Thor's gaze fell upon Mona.
"And she's made a friend…. hi ho there, small feline" Thor murmured, patting the cat forcefully on the head. Mona hissed quietly, padding over to Loki.
"I am Jane, well Queen Jane technically, but please just Jane" she gave me a warm hug. "And obviously this is Thor, king of Asgard"
"Temporarily" Loki drolled from the shadows, petting Mona gently. Surprisingly, he was very at easy with her, as he dangled a little loose string from his sleeve for her to play with. Jane glared at him. I glared playfully at Mona. Traitor.
"Like Thor said, we're very excited that you're here" she finished, embracing me warmly.
"I'm honored. Actually more than honored, kind of confused" I said kindly. "Am I the only…." I searched for the word "participant from Migard?" Thor shook with laughter.
"Yes" he said, his eyes twinkling. "Loki wanted to pass over Midgard entirely, for he does not hold Migardians in high regard. And I'll admit, the chances were very unlikely (no offense intended), that there was someone there with the proper magical abilities" Thor explained. "And there has been no one, except you" he finished, smiling broadly as if we had been longtime friends.
"I see" I murmured, feeling overwhelmed. Magic? I had magic? Jane elbowed Thor and gestured to Loki.
"Ah" Thor murmured. "Erm. Ahem- Loki. Come on, at least say hello to the young lady" Loki muttered something unintelligible and stepped into the light. Those little currents were back where his eyes met mine. He approached me with catlike speed and kissed my hand quickly, then bowed over it.
"My lady" he hissed. I smirked, and he smiled.
"My prince" I sang. Mona wound around our feet and purred, and I looked down startled. Thor thumped Loki aggressively on the back.
"Ah, brother. I am rooting for this one" Thor chortled, and I blushed, but continued to hold Loki's gaze challengingly.
Shortly after that, I had about an hour before the welcome banquet, and Inga returned to fetch me. She curtsied and immediately burst out "how was it miss?" I made a so-so gesture.
"I'm not sure. The King and Queen are lovely but the prince is…" I shook my head. "Complicated…and overwhelming" I sighed. "I need a nap or something" I groaned. "This day has been a whole lot" Inga shook her head.
"I'm sorry miss, not in those clothes" she said smiling. "I'd rather not undo our hard work. But you're free to roam the palace. Just make sure you do not wander past the gardens" she suggested as we re-entered my chambers. I made a face.
"Okay" I nodded. "I think I could use a good walk after the day I've had" I muttered. Without being prompted, Mona trotted along behind me stealthily and silently as walked through the grandiose hallways. Absorbed in the beautiful paintings on the walls, I almost forgot my promise to keep an eye on Mona. I pulled myself away in time to see her eyes alight on something through a crack in the door way. Before I could grab her, she had slipped through the door.
"Greetings, little feline" a voice said warmly. "Where is your vexing lovely companion?" I blushed hard and stumbled backwards. Mona meowed loudly and pawed at the door. "Ah, of course. Do come in my lady" Loki murmured lazily. Trying to act nonchalant, and failing, I slipped into the room. Gritting my teeth, I picked Mona up and brought her lion-king style to my face.
"I say I want to have a nice, quiet walk and you lead me here" I said, looking her firmly in the eye. Mona looked smug, and then squirmed. I set her down, and to my fury, she wound herself around Loki's legs."Well, it's clear who she likes better" I muttered. "Wouldn't think you would associate with lowly Midgardian animals" Loki looked pensive as he scratched Mona's head.
"I generally don't" he said softly. "But this little feline has wormed it's way into my trust. I respect felines for their agility, intelligence, and self-reliance" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Yes, but that's not all that makes up a cat" I argued. "Cats are also some of the most loving and affectionate creatures on….I mean…at least on Midgard. Many love to cuddle" I pointed out. As if to illustrate this point, Mona jumped up on the table, and put her paw on Loki's face, and gave him a little lick. Loki shot backward in his chair, staring at Mona as if she was alien to him. I laughed.
"See. She gave you a kiss" I murmured. Loki got down on Mona's level.
"Now see here, feline" * Mona gave him another lick on his nose* "I am in control here" *lick* "this behavior is an insult to your noble species" *lick* Pretty soon I was doubled over laughing. Loki smiled, feeling a happiness he had not felt in years. And it irked him. She irked him.
"What is this place anyway" I said, recovering.
"My private library, but apparently private is not something that means anything on Midgard" Loki muttered, returning to his book.
"Look, the door was open" I defended. "And might I add, if you really don't want people bugging you why don't you just put a do-not-disturb sign on the door….no wait that implies…" I blushed. "Uh, Nevermind" Loki cocked his head.
"A sign is an excellent idea- why would this have some humiliating implication?" Loki asked innocently. I ground my teeth.
"On Midgard, when two people are…when…ugh when mommy and daddy…ugh….you know" I crudely smushed my hands together, and Loki's brow furrowed even further. "People on Midgard often use that particular sign when people are intimate with each other" I explained. A sly grin stretched across his face.
"I don't see anything wrong with that implication" he purred, closing his book. "Perhaps it is just that you do not want me to use that sign because you do not want others to make the assumption that I am copulating with women in this room" My face was dark red.
"I…I…you know what I really couldn't care less what you do in here" I stuttered. "Let alone care about your "reputation"
"So you're aware I have one" he purred, slinking behind me, enjoying my blush.
"I might have come across it- but I am so not having this conversation with you" I muttered. "So you're not in the least bit curious? I should think you'd be interested, you're competing to be my bride after all" he teased. I crossed the room, trying in vain to find an interesting book or painting, or better yet another door that wasn't being blocked. As I moved past him, he caught my wrist. "Not interested…at all?" he murmured, holding my gaze. Wordles sly, in a swift gesture, he turned my wrist and whispered his lips against the soft skin there. My breath caught. For a moment neither of us moved, because the moment that was supposedly trickery had felt so real and right. He met my gaze with a vulnerability rather than the gloat of victory. I fled from him, my arm tingling and my stomach dropping out of my body, wishing someone would just answer the question I had been asking since I had arrived. What the hell was going on?
I had a good mind not to go to the banquet at all. But I knew I shouldn't be cowardly, and show Loki that I would not hide from him- whatever had happened. Plus, I did not wish to insult Thor and Jane, who had been so kind to me. So I gathered myself together. Mostly this involved me slapping myself while staring at my reflection, repeating "get it together" over and over, while Mona watched lazily from the bed. As I rose to leave, a furry body tried to squeeze through the doors. I picked her up.
"Oh no you don't" I said to her. "You've done enough for one day" Leaving Mona safely in my chambers, Inga led me to the dining hall. It was vast, with many empty long wooden tables with long benches attached, intended, (I guessed) for the commoners. The royal one was grander, inlaid with a shimmery gold tablecloth and fine (but few) cutlery. The table was littered on either side with some of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, chatting in strange harsh tongues mingled with lilting ones. Everyone's head turned as I entered as the guard announced me. Perfect. I was late. I ascended the dais up to the table, taking the only open seat- next to Loki, of course- as was my luck. Thor stood as I ascended, and the other men followed suit.
"Perfect" he boomed. "We are all accounted for then. On behalf of myself and my wife Jane, I would like to welcome all of you ladies to Asgard. We understand that many of you traveled far to be here with us and we are indeed grateful for your presence. The competition will last over many months, and begin tomorrow. On Loki's name day, he will announce his bride. So please, join me in a toast, to my brother, the prince Loki" Thor bellowed, eyes shining. Everyone raised their glasses and repeated "to prince loki" before drinking, me reluctantly so, avoiding his gaze. Loki merely nodded respectfully, but said nothing. As the servants hurried around, filling glasses and serving food- I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Not knowing anyone, I had no one to distract me from the man sitting to my right.
"I really didn't think you'd come, you know" Loki said softly, so softly I barely heard it.
"What?" I asked, confused. "Of course I'd come – unlike you I don't go to banquets every other day-"
"I meant here, to Asgard" he corrected. My eyes widened.
"Oh" I said softly. "Wait a minute. You mean you knew I would receive an invitation and you didn't see fit to mention it?" I accused. Loki held up his hands in mock surrender.
"Those were sent out against my will. You really think this is what I want?" he hissed, and gestured around at the ladies, clamoring to talk to Thor and Jane holding possessively onto one giant golden bicep.
"Why wouldn't I have come? You promised me we'd get to the bottom of this dream connection stuff" I murmured back. "I want that resolved. I don't want to dream of you for the rest of my life" A brief look of hurt crossed Loki's face, before it regained its malicious neutral.
"And what if I did not hold the answer?" Loki shot back. "Would you stay?"
"No-n-no of course not" I said weakly. "Why do you care anyway?" Loki shook his head.
"I don't" he replied coldly. Liar! Flashed in my mind, as if not my thought. Stone cold dread settled in my stomach. I echoed my question to him in my mind: Why do you care anyway?
I appeared in the pavilion drained. It had been an emotional day….and I was in no mood to see him- but had little choice in the matter. I could feel the tension in the air.
"I'm leaving, by the way" I said sniffling. "I hope you're happy" He raised his head from his knee but said nothing. "There's no way I can compete with those women- and I don't really care to. I don't care about this dream connection….I…I'd rather go and be stuck with you in dreams than in life" I spat.
"Even though you so desperately wish to get away from me, you cannot" Loki hissed. "The bifrost is closed" I swiped at my eyes.
"What? Why?" I asked.
"The bifrost only opens to Midgard once every season. You will not be allowed to go home until the spring" Loki stated.
"No….no no…did you know about this?" Silence.
"I see. You lied to me" I exclaimed harshly.
"I let you believe an untruth, but I did not lie" Loki said, pained. "I should know the difference" I sat down and sobbed. Loki decidedly did not like to see his strange little mortal cry. The image of me so hurt and afraid itched and scratched at his aloof exterior. He sat down beside me, but I was too busy crying to notice.
"I was afraid of this" Loki murmured, brushing a hair off my face tenderly. "I usually cause women this reaction. Eventually. Which is exactly why I've tried to stay away from you. But you always find me" he said more to himself under his breath than me, as he watched me cry.
"I've realm traveled- I can't get home, I've been thrown into all of this without so much as a heads up, there's all these beautiful…." I mimed hourglass figures. "things walking around looking like they know what they're doing. I know no one here except you, but you don't care about me at all. You don't even want me here. And for some reason that's the worst thing….I don't know why" I vented, crying.
"I…." he sighed. "I understand what it is to feel like you do not belong" he made a fist. "It is not a pain I would wish on anyone, least of all unto you" It wasn't an apology, but his voice rang with sincerity. "Though I cannot remedy that, I will address my part in your pain if I may" he spoke softly, guiding my face towards his.
"I wish for you to stay. I cannot explain why. But I know that I enjoy your company and conversation.." I smirked. "And your irritating mouth pulls me from my darkest demons" he finished, stroking my lips softly. I leant into his side, still sniffling slightly.
"I'm gonna take that as a compliment" I muttered. "So can we be friends?" Loki's eyes glittered with amusement.
"We can try" he replied.