I was up early that morning, waking peacefully for the first time in many months. I hadn't had the opportunity to closely examine my opponents- and I didn't want to. A strange painful emotional spasm worked its way through my heart when I thought of Loki with one of those exponentially beautiful women at the table last night, and his taunting remarks about his reputation. It hurt. But I shook it off as Inga entered.
"My lady" she whispered excitedly. "The warriors are at sparring practice on the training grounds. And..I'm not supposed to tell you this but" she bit her lip. "I…I think it wise for you to go"
"What? Why?" I asked.
"Just….I can't…"she glanced around nervously. "I think it would be wise to watch them test their skills" she murmured pointedly, putting emphasis on "test", before exiting the room quietly. Confused, I looked at Mona.
"What was that?" I asked her. Mona yawned lazily, stretched, and leapt up, shooting out the door with surprising speed. "What is going on this morning?" I murmured to myself. "Perfect. I'm supposed to get myself ready for this?" I grumbled, hastily grabbing a hairbrush and pulling it through my mahogany hair. I chose a rougher, plainer brown gown with subtle bronze and red embellishments. I figured if I got mud on it out there it wouldn't show. After asking several different guards, I finally managed to find my way out onto the training grounds. Thor was centerstage in the muddy brawl, on top of a slighter, but still muscular warrior with ginger hair and a small beard.
"Alas, your highness, I yield" he wheezed. "I am clearly no match for you" he murmured, taking Thor's proffered hand up. Loki lounged on an emerald chaise nearby, ensconced in a novel. I watched a slight blonde woman with pointed ears and armor approach him. They laughed together, and my insides twisted. His teeth glinted in the sun. Sif stood nearby, watching the fight end- eagerly shifting her giant sword from hand to hand. I winced at the sight, pitying her opponent. They are going to be murdered I thought.
"Ah, the lady Astrid" Thor boomed. "Welcome!" he panted, wiping his sweaty, muddy brow with one thick arm. "Will you spar with us? We treasure new opponents" he laughed. Loki's head shot up, and he smiled at me.
"Um, well I'm afraid on Migard we're not….I'm gonna have to decline for the safety of everyone here and myself" I replied, backing away and eyeing the weapons rack nervously.
"Then you will come and learn" Thor exclaimed enthusiastically. Loki gave me an intense stare.
"But only if you wish to" he corrected, looking intently at me. Suddenly I felt everyone's eyes on me. I laughed nervously.
"As long as everyone here is willing to take the risk, I'm game" I murmured, giving Loki a confused grin. Thor boomed a laugh, and everyone followed- my opponents in various color gowns chiming in their delicate ones. I blushed, unable to take my eyes from Loki's smile, which I hadn't seen so much in one day. Maybe this friends is gonna work. So far I like it. Eyes twinkling, Thor gestured me towards the tent to the right of the field. Sif will get you fitted over here" he announced. "and Loki will train you" he exclaimed, and I could feel Loki's smile widen into that familiar half menace, half sexy smile. The blonde woman from before tossed her head like a jealous pony and glared daggers at me, before stalking out. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and headed into the tent. Sif was at my side in an instant, with a pile of armor, leather, chain, buckles, etc. She stripped off my dress in one swift motion.
"HEY WOAH" I screeched. "No offense, Sif but I don't swing that way" Sif furrowed her brow for a moment, and then laughed.
"I am sorry. I should have given warning – but female warriors do not have fear of other seeing their naked forms. Nor do many of the men. It is not…as they say on Midgard, a big deal" The slang sounded so foreign coming from her sophisticated mouth that I snorted. Sif's eyes widened.
"That…sorry. I just…it sounds so funny when you say it" I giggled as she strapped me into my chainmail that had me instantly on the floor. She barked a laugh and then hoisted me up by my underarms.
"Lady Astrid. I enjoy you" Sif murmured cheerfully. "You are not like the others. They are so stuffy and vain. And that is why I am going to help you. Loki- he is called the trickster for a reason. He will not fight fair" I sighed.
"Excellent. Probably the perfect person to be paired with when I can't fight at all" I muttered. "Can't you just train me?" Sif shook her head.
"I cannot. Thor has already announced it to everyone. It is final" she murmured, making me cry out a little as she forcefully tightened the strap.
"But. I mean why is this a big deal. Isn't this just a practice?" I asked. Sif's jaw tightened. Wait a minute. I suddenly knew why everyone had been acting so weird all day. Inga saying forcefully that I should come here, Mona shooting off the bed, Thor announcing everything to all those people watching for just a practice, Loki's intense stare, and finally sif's agitation. It was a test. This was a test. "This is a test? This is the first test?" Sif stiffened.
"I cannot answer that" she said stoically. A sweat began to break out.
"OH no. Sif I'm screwed. You have to help me. I have no warrior training. I'm sure to fail" I begged, flailing in my heavy armor.
"I cannot aid you. I can only tell you this…the test is not merely one of physical prowess. It is to test quality and character as well" she said solemnly. "I have already said too much. But know that I am rooting for you, little Astrid" she smiled, and backed soundlessly out of the tent. Sif had explained earlier that Loki would practice with me for an hour, and then then everyone would rejoin on the grounds to watch me execute those moves in battle against him. I left the tent shaking, and not just from the weight of the armor. Mona padded by my side and meowed gently. Loki rose to meet me, amusement written all over his face.
"Are you ready?" he murmured, already flawlessly in his armor, without a hair out of place.
"As I'll ever be" I stood up tall and my armored glove fell off with a clank. "You know what- we don't need these, right? You're not going to cut my hands off are you?" I babbled, tossing the gloves over my shoulder. Loki smirked.
"I use magic to duel. Using physical weapons against magic is…difficult and largely futile- especially against someone of my skill. If you wish to duel me properly, you'll need to use magic" he said as I attempted to heft a huge spear over my shoulder.
"Help" I squeaked as I felt myself falling, and he was there in an instant, levitating the spear back into its cubby with one hand and catching me gracefully with the other.
"Wow" I murmured dreamily looking up into his angled handsome features. He looked bemused. "Erm. I mean wow magic wow" I said blushing, quickly moving away from him."Not doubting your research or your skill here, but I really don't think I have magic. Wouldn't I know?" Loki shook his head.
"Not necessarily" he explained. "Magical ability is rare within midgardians – but when it does appear it tends to be repressed, because the environment on Midgard is not suited to magic. It cannot…express itself properly. But here, on Asgard, your power will begin to flourish" Loki's eyes examined me hungrily. "Magical ability expresses itself in the amateur most basely through emotion" he murmured. "The easiest emotions to access for this purpose are anger or fear" he continued, his eyes lighting up with an enthusiasm that chilled me a bit. As I watched he smirked, raised a finger to his lips, and was gone. In another, he was at my ear, hand at my throat. "But then again you are just a simple midgardian, so I'm not expecting much. Perhaps a tickle" he sneered.
My fist clenched, and tears threatened at his words.
My thoughts began to panic pile on top of each other. I was for sure dead. As I had read in my guide, Loki was a skilled warrior, and his mastery of magical arts was well known throughout the nine realms. And I supposedly had magical abilities- but the only proof of that was the dream-scape and my presence on Asgard. Otherwise I had had not even a whisper- not even a spark. And I had zero experience fighting with or without weapons. My heart plummeted. In a few hours, this will all be over. The bifrost is still closed- so I'll just have to sit around here and watch Loki marry snooty blonde woman until I can go home.
Loki's grasp tightened, and I struggled for air. Part of me withdrew from my panicking self.
I remembered my words to Loki.
"Why do you care anyway?" I had to honestly answer the question, and stop running.
"Because I care about him" I answered in my head. "I believe there's good in him…and, I want him to be happy" With that revelation, something in me kick started, a white hot energy thrummed through my body and broke Loki's hold, catapulting him a good foot away. Stunned, he lay there- sprawled at the feet of none other than Thor, with the other warriors not far behind. I stared at my smoking hands like they were aliens.
"Loki- I…" I started towards him, but got no more than a few steps before I was whisked into the air, hanging by my neck. Loki examined me struggling, before putting me down again. "What the hell was that!" I spat. "I was going to apologize, but you know what now I take it back…" Loki held up a finger.
"I merely needed to test to see if you could replicate your earlier magic" he murmured with interest. "That was – unusual power for a Midgardian" he looked at me anew, with something akin to appreciation and respect. I wrung my hands, and sat on the rim of the fountain – plunging them into the water behind me. I sighed with relief as they cooled down.
"Lady Astrid, well done!" Thor exclaimed. "It is a rare one who could best my brother at magical skill…and one from Midgard at that!"
"She did not best me" Loki hissed. "I was taken off guard by a burst of raw uncontrolled power- but I was not bested. And besides which," without warning, he strode to the fountain and slipped one arm beneath my back and the other under my knees. "she must rest. That amount of energy releasing will leave her exhausted"
"Stop talking about me like I'm not here" I muttered. Thor raised his eyebrows, in an anything but subtle suggestive nature. Loki huffed and began to walk toward the palace. I was beginning to feel very woozy and light-headed.
"And if you touch my butt..so help me…I will magic-taze you again…" Loki chuckled.
"We are friends, are we not?" he murmured. "Surely friends do not touch their companion's posteriors" I snorted.
"I'm not sure friends try to kill each other either" I joked bitterly into his neck. Abruptly the rocking stopped.
"Do you still believe I would harm you?" he asked softly. I lifted my head up slowly. I was inches from his face.
"I…well back there I did" I whispered sadly. A flash of pain crossed Loki's face.
"Please…do…not fear me" he whispered brokenly. "I find, that I enjoy being feared by others. But not by you. Never by you. Please" It twas the plea that broke my heart, and I nuzzled into his neck, woozy as I was.
"Don't worry, for some strange reason, I don't anymore" I muttered, fading into sleep. The last thing I heard was a sob-laugh as my head hit the pillow, and a tear that was not mine fell onto my cheek.
The next day I found out from Inga that I had passed the warrior test with flying colors, and that the snotty blonde woman was gone, along with several others. I had slept like a rock- everything Loki said about my new magical abilities were painfully true. My entire body felt like it had been run over by a freight train, and I stuffed my face at the breakfast banquet. My emotions felt similarly. I was exhausted in both ways. But I decided to seek Loki out this time. Despite everything that had happened, I still preferred his company to anyone else's I had met on Asgard. For the first time, I just wanted us to hang out. No stressing- no serious talks- just friends hanging out. I wanted to see if we could accomplish that. As much questions as I had about my magic- (I mean what kind of magic did I have anyway? I mean could I fly? Could I become invisible? Or super strong? What?) Plus, I was bored.
I found Loki in a little grove not far from the training grounds. A pond gurgled quietly underneath a large overhanging tree that provided the perfect little hideaway. He looked so peaceful on his little stone bench, back propped up against the tree- that I almost backed out.
"Hi" I murmured, scooting his feet off to one side so I could sit next to him. He set down his book warily. "I haven't come to yell at you. So you can drop that" He chuckled, but waited for me to continue. "I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. I know you were just trying to help. I still think you got way too carried away, and I want you to never do that again ever- but, your intentions were good. So I forgive you" Loki looked at me like I was an alien.
"You…forgive…me" he turned the foreign words out slowly. For a long time he was silent, studying me.
"I could have killed you" he murmured. I shrugged.
"Yeah probably. But you didn't. You wouldn't" I said plainly. "Because…we're…we're buddies, friends…pals" Loki's face did not lose its seriousness. "Oh come on. What? Like you've never been forgiven before?" Loki paused.
"Not often. And never for something that serious" Loki replied solemnly. My heart broke again.
"Oh Loki" and I leaped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He stiffened, before relaxing into me. I sniffled slightly.
"Why do you cry for my pain?" Loki murmured, surprised, into my ear.
"It's called being sensitive" I said, nuzzling into his shoulder. "And a good friend"
"Amongst females perhaps" he said lightly, and I punched him on the arm and nuzzled closer.
"Stop ruining it" We sat for a while like that- enter twined, both of us too afraid to move and break the moment.
"So who was it? Who was it that didn't forgive you?" I asked quietly, feeling his breath on my neck.
"Everyone. The people of Asgard. The people of Midgard, The people of Jotunheim" he listed drolly and I laughed.
"Okay, no but if you had to pick one person…whose forgiveness meant the most?"
"My father's" Loki whispered. "There was a time when I needed that more than I needed air"
"You know my dad sucks too" I added. "He's never supported me in any of my ventures in life. Always criticizing and judging me. He's kind of an asshole. He made me feel really bad about myself" Loki actually seemed interested.
"How so?" he murmured.
"well he always wanted me to be someone that I wasn't" I murmured. "He was always trying to change me into somebody he wanted me to be, even though it made me miserable…and then he remarried and well…that was that" my voice trailed off weakly. "We don't really talk" Loki trained his gaze on my face, which had disappeared into his shoulder. "Nevermind, stupid" I muttered. "Now I just depressed us both" I laughed sadly.
"It would be a crime to try to erase this bundle of personality you possess" he said tenderly, tracing the curve of my face. "I am very glad he did not succeed" I peeped up at him.
"You know, me too" I murmured. "I think I'd be very bored" Loki laughed. We leaned on each other gently. I sighed sleepily at the sunset. "You know what would make this even more perfect?" I whispered. Loki cocked a brow in amusement.
"Ice cream" I muttered drowsily. "Or a pillow. But I guess…(yawn) you'll do for now…"
I slept in Loki's arms that night. Jane had emerged briefly around dinnertime to look for Loki, but upon seeing our intertwined forms- my head on Loki's shoulder, and body laid gently against his chest- his arms holding me in a protective embrace. Jane swiped at a traitorous tear at the sight, along with a shocked laugh. Perhaps this would work after all.