okay please tell me this happens to other people. You read a story that's pretty well developed you get hooked it's been updated relatively recently you favorite it and then….nada. Favoriting = kiss of death for updates.

I've been getting into a Jerza kick these past few days. Mostly because I love Erza and Jellal is a hot mess & their relationship is so chaotic but will probably end well and I need something fun to write for after the emotional fallout that was the disaster Bleach ending.

Set sometime between Oracion Seis/Tenrou Island

Baggage

The dates all start fine enough. Handsome, well dressed men who attracted her in different ways; some naturally have better manners than Natsu on his best day, others respect her strength and battle prowess and competently engage her in shop talk, others are simply too good looking to deny. Sometimes they hold doors and pull out chairs and shower her with charm and flattery and tell her she is the most exquisite woman they have ever spent time with. Sometimes they even make her laugh, a sound almost too delicate and breezy for the warrior known for her brute strength and tenacity. She'll have fun with the girls at the guild getting ready, using her requip to showcase her potential outfits and strutting when she's done because she damn she knows she's got it going on and yes maybe this time it will actually proceed to a second date?

And yet.

The dates always end the same way.

It comes up inevitably. It's one of those small talk things people bring up to keep a good conversation flowing, seen as a socially safe topic to broach. They'll ask it different ways, so how did you get to be as strong as you are now? Or where did you grow up are you from around here? Or the blatant so tell me what your childhood was like?

She always stumbles. She is strong but not invincible and gods how does one explain that? That she was a child slave and spent her formative years watching her friends be beaten and had her eye gouged out and staged coupe and carried immeasurable guilt about leaving them behind and watched the man who was probably her soulmate lose his heart and then his mind and find a way to turn around to sacrifice for her still and has weekly nightmares even though she swears she's over it (him)?

That usually marks the end of the night.

Tonight is no different and Erza finds herself strolling through Magnolia on a particularly balmy evening for so late in the year, in a dress that felt sexy and fun but now feels like a costume with a hairstyle and jewelry that feel cumbersome. At her core she is not Lucy or Mira or Levy; playing dress up can be fun for a moment but the makeup always feels like a mask and fancy dresses are not built for running or battle.

It's hard to be vain when she spent half her life in tattered rags and barefoot; her old friends wouldn't even recognize her all dolled up. He'd probably laugh if he saw her now, the all powerful Titania squirming in sequins and heels. And then say some super serious shit like Erza I am a dark damaged soul I am not worthy of you and it would be her turn to laugh or more likely groan and remind him she didn't care about his black soul or whatever she was just happy to be with him and-

the realization that they will probably never have a chance to go on a stupid dinner date or have petty squabbles or even a normal conversation like that is sobering.

The night doesn't feel so pleasant anymore. She hurries home and changes, falling into an uneasy sleep that leaves bags under her eyes that she is too apathetic to hide. The girls misinterpret her sleep deprived face as a sign of a late night and and pooh and awww when she walks in, demanding to know all the dirty details and sighing when she reveals there are none, telling her don't worry Erza I'm sure the next one will end better!

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She does't accept anymore dates after that.

Seriously eff anyone who doesn't like her. Erza's awesome. The hate she gets is gross.

Not sure if canonically she likes dressing up, I know she likes looking sexy but that doesn't always mean fancy? Idk she always strikes me as a practical gal who wouldn't have patience for heels or chunky jewelry.

Also no idea if she dates but she's gorgeous so I'm sure she's got plenty of offers. Of course none of them are her boy soooo cue the angst?