Chapter 26: Aakash

He held Di's elbow as they climbed the steps of the temple. The air, finally made cool by a noontime rain, ruffled his hair. A woman in a green sari elbowed past, almost forcing him to bump into Di, but he caught himself just in time.

"Sorry, Di."

"It's okay, Aakash. Look, we're almost there."

Di paused at the top of the steps, one hand holding her favourite thaali and the other shaking the pleats of her sari. He used the time to wipe the fog from his glasses.

"Let's go?" Di asked with a small smile.

They made their way across the crowd at her pace, their progress slowed by the people stopping to swap greetings and ask after their family. He watched as Di smiled and exchanged pleasantries with people he barely knew, and ducked his head when their attention wandered to him. He wished for Bhai's confidence or Di's charm or Jija-ji's charisma.

But no, he'd hated crowds and new people since childhood, and that stifling anxiety hadn't disappeared in adulthood. Sometimes he feared it'd only intensified.

He lost himself in the familiar rhythms of worship when they finally reached the dais, seeking solace. Patience for his mother, who seemed determined to marry him off to the richest, most beautiful woman she could find. Good fortune for his father, over-worked with brokering a new deal for AR. Wisdom and clarity for Bhai, who was retreating into himself and shutting out the world. Strength for Di, who was desperately trying to hold two families together. Patience and empathy for Khushi-ji, and fortitude for her family, who were suffering something no family should ever be made to endure.

The mood in both houses was sombre. Di alternated between trying to make Bhai eat and visiting Laxmi Nagar to check on Khushi-ji's family. She shed tears constantly, being intimately familiar with Payal-ji's plight. Khushi-ji's family had been shunned and ridiculed, but now, two weeks later, it was finally dying down. Gupta-ji had even reopened the sweet store this morning.

They lingered at the end of the aarti so Di could speak with the priest. Aakash looked around absently as he pulled out his phone, and froze when he noticed the small form almost hidden behind a pillar. He took two steps forward, stopping at a gentle touch to his arm.

"What's wrong, Aakash?"

He turned to Di briefly, unwilling to take his eyes off the figure unless she disappeared.

"Di, that's … that's Khushi-ji's sister."

"Payal-ji?" Di craned her neck to look in the direction he indicated.

They walked over, Di lightly resting her hand on his arm. He was filled with an odd anticipation, a sense of purpose. Payal-ji stared at them as they approached, wide-eyed and breathing hard.

Apprehension? Or fear?

"Namaste Payal-ji," Di greeted too brightly.

"N-namaste Anjali-ji. Aa-Aakash-ji."

"Namaste," Aakash replied quietly.

She still looked unnerved, and thinking it would help her calm down, Aakash took a few steps away. He watched as Di spoke to her, noting that Payal-ji spoke to the floor rather than meet Di's eyes, twisting her dupatta in her hands the entire time. He felt a curious concern swell inside him as he watched her. She was suffering through her ordeal with as much grace as she could muster.

He understood only the broadest strokes of what had happened on Payal-ji's wedding day. A last-minute demand for a dowry, a refusal, an abandoned altar, and an argument between his Bhai and Khushi-ji that had almost ended their engagement. Almost, but not quite, because when Di had quietly asked Bhai if he'd called it off, he'd recoiled as if stricken by the mere idea before denying it vehemently.

It may not have been called off, but the engagement wasn't exactly thriving either. Gupta-ji called every few days to update the family, but as far as Aakash knew, Khushi-ji refused to speak to Bhai. And Bhai hadn't called either. Di said that they both needed time, but Aakash worried, in silence, if they should do more.

When Di eventually bid her farewells and joined him, her strained smile had given way to a genuine one.

"Payal-ji is so sweet, so strong."

Aakash looked back at her. She gave him a small, tight smile. His hand lifted of its own accord, as if to wave farewell, but he paused mid-gesture.

What are you doing, Aakash?

His hand hung awkwardly as heat crept up the back of his neck. Anxiety took hold of him, sudden and brittle and unrelenting, offering only scorn and derision for his ill-thought gesture.

"Aakash."

Di's voice broke through, a lifeline that he gripped with everything he had, and his pulse finally began to slow.

"Let's go," he offered his arm, hoping she didn't notice the tremble in his voice.

He dropped Di home before returning to the office, where he tried to distract himself with work. But he was still thinking of the way Payal-ji had huddled against the pillar of the temple, as if she wanted nothing more than to be absorbed into the stone, as he trudged up the steps to his home. His helplessness was a heavy weight on his mind.

Aakash had dinner without noticing what he ate, nodding along to Maa's questions. His attention sharped briefly as Di mentioned her visit to the temple, but she didn't mention Payal-ji.

Later, he knocked on Bhai's door.

"Come in," came the gruff invitation.

"Bhai, I needed your signature."

He approached at his brother's distracted nod, and watched as he signed a series of documents with efficiency. His eyes were shadowed, he hadn't shaved in at least three days, and his entire form was hunched over.

Broken, Aakash thought with sudden clarity.

He hovered after he took the files back from Bhai, trying to find the right words.

"Anything wrong, Aakash?"

"Bhai we ... we saw Payal-ji at the temple."

His brother froze, his eyes still in the laptop in front of him, but his hands slowly clenched into fists. So tight that his knuckles turned white.

"How is she?" he asked roughly.

"Not well. But Di said she's much better than she was when … two weeks ago."

Bhai nodded sharply. "Was … was she alone?"

"Yes."

Aakash wouldn't have noticed the small sigh Bhai gave if he hadn't been watching for it, the only outward sign of his brother's disappointment. He realised just how desperate Bhai was for news of Khushi-ji.

"Bhai, is there anything we can do? For Kh— I mean, for Payal-ji's family?"

His brother slammed the laptop shut before striding to the glass doors that led to his private poolside. He stood bathed in silver, staring up at the moon.

"I wish I knew, Aakash."