Chapter 41
The next stop of the day was the trauma counselor's office, to receive evaluation and advice. After being made comfortable in Dr. Jenson's office, the kind-faced man settled into a chair across from the Hotchners and smiled in a friendly manner.
"Hi guys. So let's talk about what you have been through Spencer. I know you are very smart, so I will talk with you on a higher level than I would have based on your age, but if you do not quite understand what I am getting at I need you to tell me, OK?"
"Ok" the boy readily agreed. "I appreciate you not talking down to me."
With a friendly nod, the Dr. continued. "So, to be blunt, you have been repeatedly raped for more than 3 years. You were forced to perform sexual acts in order to receive food and water. You were repeatedly verbally abused and denigrated. You were treated like an animal. But, you are extremely intelligent-intelligent enough to realize that none of this was YOUR fault. But, emotions do not understand logic, do they? So why don't you tell me how you feel about the last 3 ½ years?"
The boy found himself looking down at his lap, and taking a deep breath. "Yes, intellectually I know many things, but in my heart I feel dirty and spoiled, and like a whore. I realize that I made no profit from what I did, but I did receive benefit as far as food and water. I often do not know what to think. Daddy Aaron and Jack seem to love me, yet I do not feel worthy of this love. How do I reconcile this?"
The Dr. gestured no to Aaron when he would have responded. "Do you know what a whore is?" he queried. At the boy's affirmative nod, he continued, "Do you REALLY think it should count if you are given basic survival needs like food and water?"
"I honestly don't know" the child replied. "Isn't the definition someone who exchanges sex for drugs, money, or something they need? I needed water and gave oral sex in order to get it."
"But, if you had not been kept captive you could have received water at any number of public places, and food at any number of free places. Do you think that should count when other resources existed and you were kept from them?" the doctor proposed.
"Once again, I do not know. I will need time to think about this," the boy responded.
"Understandable" the provider replied. "I just ask that you seriously consider all other possibilities as you process how you feel about your experiences."
"I can do that. Just please understand that I have been told otherwise for years. I have been told how I am worth nothing but for the sexual gratification of others. While I can understand what you are telling me, it FEELS very different, and I do not know how to process this." The boy responded.
"Ok," replied Dr. Jenson. "I just ask that you be open with me about how you feel, and have an open dialog with me. I will not judge you, no matter what you say."
"Thank-you" the child responded. "I will promise to do my best. Just realize that I have done very bad things, and that will be difficult to share with you. I feel humiliated and dirty."
Hotch found himself looking back and forth at the exchange, amazed at the adult language and expression coming from his not-yet 7 year old. It was obvious to him, though, that emotionally his child was ill-equipped to handle what had happened to him. "Dr. Jenson, what can we do to help Spencer process what has happened. More specifically, what can I do to help him recover?" he questioned.
"Listen, without judgement, to whatever Spencer feels able to tell you. Don't feel as if you need to come up with the answers…just let him talk. That is the best way to help him to process his emotions. Just let him know that he is loved and accepted despite what has happened." Responded the doctor in a calm, quiet tone. "Spencer," he continued, "Just know that you can tell Aaron everything and anything without fearing judgement. Just like you can tell me."
Spencer looked from one man to the other, eyes bright with unshed tears. "Why? Why do you care about me? I'm just a worthless, dirty, whore. My own father didn't want me for anything but sex."
"Your Mother loves you…remember that always. And I love you because you are a special, caring, brilliant child. YOU cared about the lady under the floor, remember? That showed me how precious you are. And you are so sweet with Jack…you are the brother he always wanted. I can't imagine our lives without you now." Responded Hotch, tears in his own eyes.
"Spencer," said Jenson, "You are a special person, who deserves all the help there is. Know that I think well of you, and hope that you can trust me enough to share with me your traumas, so that we may work through them together."
The tearful child looked from one to the other and nodded. "Yes, I will trust you both, so long as you promise to always be honest with me, and let me know what you think. Agreed?"
"Agreed!" both men answered together.
"Ok," Dr. Jenson related, "I will need to see Spencer once or twice a week, for an indeterminate period of time. Is that acceptable Agent Hotchner?"
"Yes, of course!" Hotch responded. "Whatever Spencer needs."
After making arrangements for the next appointment, the Hotchners found their way out of the office and returned to the SUV.
It was well past lunchtime by now, so the pair picked up a couple of sliders from Arby's for a snack and headed to the school to pick up Jack. They then headed home and stopped by the red box for a fun movie to take Spencer's mind off of the busy day. Arriving home, they cooked a few hamburgers on the stove and baked fries in the oven. After the dinner and a movie the trio went to bed and had a quiet night.