Chapter 16: Let's see how red Artie can turn before Allistor is stabbed with escargot
Allistor hurriedly straightened Arthur's tie, a manic grin on his face as his little brother struggled in the strong Scotsman's grasp. "Bloody hell Allistor let go I can fix my own damn tie!" Arthur snapped, pushing away his older brother.
"Ah but ye know tha' I tie a tie better than you." Allistor reasoned, inching back to Arthur's side.
"YOUR DEFINITION OF TYING A TIE IS STRANGLING ME YOU GIT."
"I SEE NO PROBLEM WITH THA' SENTENCE." Allistor yelled back, still grinning like a maniac. "We need ta go, I didn't make reservations at tha best restaurant in town for nothin'." he paced the length of the hall, smoking a cigarette.
"Calm down we won't be late and how many times have I told you to stop smoking in my house!" Arthur screeched, fed up. They got into the car without killing each other and drove to the restaurant, Allistor entertaining himself by seeing how many shades of red he could make his brother turn. They exited the car and walked inside the large building, sitting down at a bench across from the restaurant. Looking inside Arthur could see that it was dimly lit, with art and scenes of Paris lining the walls. It looked like a very expensive place, and Arthur could see waiters in uniforms rushing around, getting everything set up. "Why the bloody hell are we here before it opens?" Arthur asked irritably, gesturing towards the sign that indicated that it would not be open for another five minutes.
"Because," Allistor drawled, slinging a hand over his little brother's shoulder. "I was expecting more of a crowd to get in. This place has the best reviews in town, an' I want ta impress Francis with my selection of restaurants. Also I want to properly meet him and explain that you are my little brother, an' if he does anything or touches you he will have to answer to me."
The Englishman rolled his eyes, tossing his brother's arm off. "First of all, there's only a crowd once it bloody opens. Second, I think you're forgetting that i'm an adult, and have been for a while. Third, i've been married and have a child. I'm not exactly a fluffy little bunny."
"God I wish you were then ye wouldn't talk so fuckin' much." Allistor groaned, standing up and walking to the door where a small crowd was beginning to form. Arthur got up and followed him, walking past a group of giggling girls.
"Oh my god this place is awesome. It's so expensive though!"
"My ex took me on a date here once and I swear his eyes nearly popped out of his head at the bill amount. And there's this really hot waiter there, he's French and might be in college."
"Ohhh i've seen him he's the one that called you my dear right? I wonder if he's single?"
"He dosen't seem to know a lot of English but his accent is beautiful." the girls twittered and gasped, while Arthur rolled his eyes.
"Americans." he hissed to his brother, who replied with a chuckle. They made their way inside and to the hostess, who was typing away furiously at the computer, eyes glued to the screen.
"Hello I have a reservation here under Kirkland." Allistor greeted and the girl looked up, nodding and scrolling through the files.
"Kirkland, party of three?" They nodded. "Right this way." she smiled pleasantly and led them through the restaurant and into a private room, oddly having no menus in her hands.
"Oh god where is Francis?" Arthur hissed through his teeth, looking around worriedly. "He might not be let in if he's late." They approached a table in the corner where Francis was already sitting, reading a book.
"Bonjour mon cher! I'm so glad zat you made it!" he sang, springing up and planting a light kiss on Arthur's cheek before hugging him. "Bonjour Allistor, comment allez-vous?"
"I have no idea what the hell you said, but I have a question. How the fuck did you get in? This bloody place doesn't let anyone in before it opens. If this place wasn't so French and have really good ratings I wouldn't even try. Do you know tha' this place apparently has a hundred dollar dish? The owner must be fuckin' insane to expect people to pay for tha'."
"Parce que mon ami, zis iz my restaurant. I am ze owner and founder." Francis explained, taking a seat. "I am flattered zat you zink my place is good, and I am pretty sure zat I am sane. Do you zink so mon ange?" He asked, flipping his long hair over one shoulder. He smiled up at a shocked Arthur, as Allistor began to edge away from his brother.
"YOU IDIOT DID YOU REALLY JUST COMPLAIN ABOUT THE PRICES OF THE DISHES TO THE OWNER'S FACE?" Arthur yelled at his brother, while Francis tried to get him to sit down.
"Oi I didn't know! An' speakin' o' menu, where are they?" Allistor asked Francis, taking a seat.
"Mon ami zis iz my restaurant. Attractive British people with ze name Arthur Kirkland eat for free." Francis purred, placing a hand over Arthurs. "Oh and zeir brothers."
Food that Francis had ordered to be made especially for them arrived quickly, and the three men wasted no time digging in. As soon as the final dish was taken away, Allistor leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table and a smirk playing across his lips. "Sooo… Have ye two done it yet?" He asked casually. Arthur choked on the sip of wine he took and his face went a red rival to the liquid, Francis patting his back and handing his boyfriend a napkin.
"Allistor!" The Brit choked out as soon as he could talk, glaring at the Scottish man. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"What?" Allistor defended himself, putting his hands up. "Just tryin' to make conversation here."
"ONE, THAT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU DISCUSS AT THE TABLE AND TWO, SIBLINGS DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!" Arthur screeched, trying and failing to keep his voice down.
"Non we are taking it slow. We are both very busy, taking care of kids and work." Francis said, placing a restraining hand on Arthur's arm. "Arthur iz full of lovely surprises, and I can't wait to find out more of zem."
"So you haven't seen tha' tattoo?" Allistor asked, enjoying the various shades of red the Englishman turned. Francis shook his head, also amused. "Now tha's how I know ye ain't lyin', if ye did ye woulda seen it. I remember one night Amelia called me and practically screamed 'HEY ALLIE DIDYA KNOW ARITE HAS A TATTOO OF A GUITAR RIGHT ON HIS-"
"ENOUGH!" Arthur yelled, clapping a hand over his brother's mouth and tying a cloth napkin over his face. "I'm going to go somewhere. YOU shut up and Francis dear don't believe a word that git says." Allistor protested, his word muffled by the material around his mouth.
"D'accord. I won't." Francis reassured, shooting Arthur a charming smile. As soon as Arthur was out of earshot, Allistor leaned across the table, asking something.
"So ye wanna see pictures of Artie from when he was smaller?" He smirked, eyes lighting up mischievously.
"Oui, s'il vous plaît." Francis responded eagerly, taking the phone that Allistor passed him. There was a scowling blond boy in the center, surrounded by other people. Francis recognized Allistor with the flaming hair, grinning widely and holding a little baby. There were twins that were on either side of what Francis assumed was little Arthur, one messing up his hair and the other facepalming. There was another boy on Allistor's other side, with a lizard in his arms.
"That's me holding Peter, he's the youngest. Iggy's in the middle, and the twins are Patrick and Seamus, they're Irish. Dylan is holding tha' fukin iguana lizard dragon whatever the fuck tha' is. Peter's 12 now an' he still lives in London with Dylan, who we had to drag away from Wales."
"Oh mon dieu 'ow adorable!" Francis squealed, looking at the cute pout across little Arthur's features. "I'm ze oldest of my siblings, but zey are all younger. Seems zat we 'ave somezing in common. Michelle is 10 ans right now."
"Ye ain't gonna be sayin' adorable when ye see the next photo. When 'e was about sixteen or seventeen Artie went full on punk. Learned the guitar, pierced everything that could be pierced, would yell at me for no reason but he still does tha'." Allistor scrolled through his phone until he came across a photo of punk Arthur. He looked to be about 17 years old as Allistor had described, and was glaring at the camera. He was holding a guitar with the union flag on it, and was dressed in all black and leather. He was showing the camera the V sign, and Francis noticed that his nails were painted black with a skull and crossbones ring on the middle one. He had pierced eyebrows and lips, which were curled in a snarl. "About a second after tha' was taken he hit me with the bloody guitar." Allistor remembered, rubbing the back of his head.
"But zose piercings are obviously fake." Francis said, waving a hand around dismissively. "If zey were real zere would be a trace left."
"No they're real. I drove Iggy tae get 'em and when they stuck tha' needle through his lip he punched me." Allistor recalled, wincing at the memory. "Me little bro is obviously not violent in tha least."
"Non I can prove zat zey are fake." Francis said confidently, smirking a bit.
"An' how are you going tae do tha'?" Allistor responded, kicking Francis under the table, crossing his arms. "10 euro, pounds, dollars whatever Americans use tha' i'm right."
"D'accord." Francis responded, sashaying over to where Arthur was exiting the bathroom, shaking his head and muttering to himself.
"Oh hello there Francis why-" he started to question, but was cut off when Francis grabbed him and dipped him low to the ground, devouring his mouth with his own. Arthur was shocked but relaxed quickly, returning the passionate kiss.
"Oi don't mind me 'twas totally my plan for tonight tae watch me little brother eat face." Allistor interrupted them, rolling his eyes. The men separated, Arthur glaring at Allistor while Francis was wearing a satisfied smirk.
"I believe zat you owe me dix dollars, mon ami." he purred, looking quite smug.
"What?! Bloody impossible! No way mate I know it was real." Allistor sputtered as Francis and Arthur took their seats, Francis wrapping an arm around the Brit's shoulder and kissing him on the cheek.
"Non I didn't feel any traces. Mon ange was ze lip ring you 'ad as a teen real?" He asked Arthur who was staring off into the distance, mind obviously somewhere else.
"Hmm? Oh it was fake at the last second I decided to pierce my ears instead. Still hurt like hell though but I wore a fake one." he responded absentmindedly, then realized what the question was. "Hey wait a bloody minute how did you know I had a lip ring when I was younger?"
"Aha! J'ai gagné!(I won) Oh mon cher your frère was kind enough to show me some pictures of you when you were younger! You were très adorable as a petit garçon!" he cooed, smirking slightly when he saw Allistor go slightly pale. "Ze punk rock look iz very good on you." Arthur's hand began to slowly inch toward his knife, and Allistor stood up, nearly tripping over his chair.
"Artie calm down i'm yer brother!"
"I have four more I can live without one!" Arthur yelled, springing up as Allistor ran out the door.
"BYE IGGY AND FRAN JUST BE GLAD I DIDN'T SHOW HIM THE PICTURES FROM APRIL FOOLS BAR NIGHT!"
"Fran?" Francis questioned, furrowing his brows. "Oh mon dieu I don't zink I can deal with more nicknames."
"Not our fault your name is so bloody easy to make fun of." Arthur huffed, sitting back down once he was sure his brother had left the restaurant.
"If you say so Artie." the Frenchman teased.
"Hey at least my name isn't the name of my country." Arthur fired back, enjoying the playful bickering.
Francis rolled his cerulean eyes. "Try one zat I 'aven't 'eard before. My name means Frenchman, not France but it iz close. My last name means good faith."
"So you're Frenchman Goodfaith?" Arthur chortled, finding that new information hilarious for some reason.
"If you zink zat is 'ilarious you should 'ear Gilbert's middle name. 'Is full name is Gilbert Maria Beilschmidt. Whenever someone brings it up 'e yells somezing about 'ow it was a perfectly respectable name when it was given."
"That's pure gold. Remind me to thank him, Antonio, Lovino, Ludwig, Elizaveta, and Feliciano for agreeing to babysit the children. Now I can get revenge on Gilbert for that whole dinner issue. I still can't decide whether to thank the man or punch him in the face." Arthur remarked, laughing slightly at the thought of the tall, albino, loud German having a middle name like Maria.
"Oui it iz. Zey all love kids, Feli iz zere to provide food, Gilbert et Toni are kids, Eliza et Lovi are zere to make sure zat zeir 'usbands don't get drunk, and poor Ludwig iz zere to make sure zat everyone goes 'ome in one piece. I wouldn't worry about zat last bit I'm sure Eliza already did it for you." They stood up and walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, Francis opening the door for Arthur. Arthur looked around for his car, groaning when he realized it was gone.
"Oh bollocks I don't have a way to get home now." He groaned, facepalming. "I should have never handed my idiot brother the bloody keys."
"No worries mon amour you can stay at my 'ouse tonight." Francis purred, wiggling his brows suggestively. Arthur flushed red and tried to smack the flirtatious Frenchman on the arm, who danced around to avoid him, laughing. "Honhonhon mon petit lapin 'as a temper!" he teased, linking their arms once he was sure Arthur would not cause any damage to his face.
"I'm not your bloody rabbit." Arthur protested, shaking loose of the Frenchman's grip. "Why are you so goddamn- FRAncis!" The Brit yelped as he felt a hand grab his ass, and he turned around, slapping the arm of Francis, who could not seem to keep his hands to himself. "We're in public you wanker!"
"Oh je suis tellement désolé mon cher, I was not aware zat you could not touch ze artwork." Francis playfully apologized, cerulean eyes sparkling with mischief. Arthur huffed, turning his face away, attempting to hide red that was currently dusting his face.
"Git…" he mumbled, trying to hide his face in the collar of his shirt and failing. The comment did not escape Francis's notice and his eyebrows shot up, fake hurt crossing his face.
"Well zey certainly do flirting differently in Angleterre, non? I was not aware zat 'git, wanker, tosser, frog, and twit' are used as terms of endearment."
Arthur immediately turned back to his French boyfriend, horror crossing his face. He hadn't even thought about how sharp his tongue must appear to other people, as Amelia never seemed to notice or care. "Francis i'm so sorry about that i'll try to watch my language I didn't realize how much I swore and insulted you i'm so-" He was cut off as lips crashed into his own, effectively shutting him up.
"Mon lapin I was just teasing. Don't change for me, it is tres adorable when you get all red faced and start insulting moi. I know zat you don't mean it." He whispered, cupping Arthur's face softly and kissing the tip of his nose. They made their way to Francis's front steps, where they paused, Francis leaning in slightly and turning Arthur to face him. "Just a warning, it may be a bit, 'ow do you say in English… chaotic in zere." the door suddenly flew open, and Arthur stared up into the wildly grinning face of Gilbert, and the sounds of yelling, laughter and just general chaos.
Oh bloody hell…