Surprisingly enough, Chloe had had quite a good night's sleep. She had struggled to fall asleep, her mind still reeling from everything Maze and Amenadiel had told her. But at some point, she must have fallen asleep and while she remembered Lucifer being in her dreams, they had not been nightmares and had not woken her.
When Chloe finally opened her eyes, she could hear voices downstairs. Two female voices. So Linda was already here to talk to her. Maze was really proving to be a reliable friend.
Chloe decided to have a quick shower before joining 'her tribe' and tried to order her feelings in preparation for her talk with Linda. The idea of talking to a shrink made her nervous, all of a sudden and she realized that it was because she felt that whatever she would discuss with Linda later felt like a betrayal of Lucifer. Especially after what she had learned the night before, she felt even more fiercely loyal to him. She missed him so much and wished for nothing more than for him to come back. But she also knew that unless she found a way to convince him that her feelings for him were real and not orchestrated, they were doomed to be apart. But in order to convince Lucifer, she first needed to find out from Amenadiel whether her being a blessed miracle child actually gave her free will when it came to Lucifer or not. She believed she did have free will in all of her decisions but the magnitude of the recent epiphanies in her life did of course cause doubt, too. But Amenadiel had to wait. Now she needed to talk to Linda.
Chloe dried herself off quickly and slid into some comfy clothes before making her way downstairs.
Linda and Maze were sitting at the kitchen island sipping coffee and Maze started pouring Chloe a cup as she saw her coming down the stairs.
Linda got up and gave her a big hug. 'Welcome to the 'Oh Gosh, the Devil really does exist' Club' she joked, gauging Chloe's face for a reaction.
Chloe couldn't help but chuckle. She took one sip of her coffee and nearly choked on it as a thought shot through her head.
'So both of you have slept with… the Devil… repeatedly' she said after her coughing fit had died down.
Linda blushed while Maze just coolly stared her in the eye and said 'Countless times, bitches, countless times.'
'This is just so weird' muttered Chloe. 'I mean, here I am sipping coffee with you guys and I should be really jealous of what you both have had with Lucifer but I'm not…'
'Well, the fact that he has NOT slept with you yet is why you don't have ANY reason to be jealous' Linda offered.
'I guess. It's just… I don't really know how to put this and I know that there is the whole patient-doctor confidentiality thing and I don't want you to break the trust that Lucifer has put in you but…' Chloe stalled.
'Go on' Linda encouraged her.
'Do you want me to leave?' Maze asked but Chloe shook her head.
'I just feel that he has done so much, sacrificed so much to keep me safe and… alive' she swallowed hard as she realized yet again how close to death she had come several times and that Trixie wouldn't have a mother right now if it hadn't been for Lucifer.
'I really didn't like Lucifer very much when I first met him, I thought he was arrogant and full of himself. It didn't take me long, however, to see more in him. And although I didn't admit it for a long time, I started caring for him quite deeply soon. And finally, a few weeks ago, we both were in a place where we let our feelings for each other shine through more and more. I don't know… A part of me is really scared that I'll never see him again and that he'll believe his mother's theory that everything between us was fake, orchestrated by his father. I don't think it is, I don't think it can be. I mean, how can all of my life, everything I went through, good and bad, having my daughter, how can all of that have been not my own choice? Just a preparation for some divine plan to mess with the fallen angel's mind?'
'And to break his heart' Maze chimed in but Linda shot her a glance which made her mumble 'sorry'.
'I have to say, Chloe' Linda said when she realized that Chloe was not going to continue straight away. 'You really are taking all of this extremely well. I mean, how long have you known? Or rather, believed that Lucifer was telling you the truth all along?
'Since Wednesday, about 11.10 in the morning. So that's nearly 72 hours now, plenty of time, right?' Chloe attempted a joke.
'And how do you feel about the truth?' Linda asked.
'I know it'll sound weird but I'm actually relieved. I mean, part of me still struggles to believe that it is all true, Heaven and Hell, God and the Devil, angles and demons' Chloe turned her face towards Maze as she said the last word. Maze just winked at her and Chloe rolled her eyes at her.
'I'm relieved. Because deep down I knew that Lucifer was not delusional or just hiding behind a persona. And I'm also annoyed at myself for taking so long to get to the point where I was ready, or forced, to accept the truth. I mean, I even saw a reflection of Lucifer's other face once and for a moment I believed him. That's why I shot him when he asked me to. He wanted to prove to me that he was being honest. But when he started bleeding, I convinced myself that it had been a trick my mind had played on me so ever since I resisted. I resisted believing and I decided not to test his blood and not to ask how he could have survived when Malcolm shot him. So I also feel guilty for not having believed Lucifer sooner.' said Chloe and then looked up to see both Linda and Maze staring at her.
'You saw Lucifer's devil form?' Maze looked stunned.
'And why did you call that his 'other' face and not his true face?' Linda added.
Chloe decided to answer Maze first. 'Well, just a glimpse of it. His skin was turning back to normal from bright red and his eyes were a pool of fire. But it was only a split second.'
'I have to think about your question a bit' she said to Linda who replied that she should take all the time she needed. After a few minutes' silence (apart from Maze's loud chewing of gum), Chloe felt she had an adequate answer to Linda's question.
'Yes, his other face. I don't think that's his real face. That face, the other face, is the face of the Lord of Hell, the punisher forced into that situation by his father. But there is so much more to Lucifer than that particular role so I don't see the red skin and fiery eyes as his true self.'
Maze whispered an audible 'Wow' and Linda turned to tell her that next time she'd intervene she'd be sent out of the room. Maze just stuck her tongue out at Linda and said: 'Well, forgive me for being impressed with her. And to think I nearly snuffed out her light when I first realized that she made Lucifer vulnerable.'
This clearly was new information for Linda who nearly fell of her stool. Chloe simply chuckled when she realized that Lucifer was not the only one prone to telling the truth, even when it sounded outrageous.
'And I thought you were only joking when you told me that' she said to Maze, playfully flicking her arm. 'That'll teach me!'
Linda turned to Chloe after rearranging her face into what she hoped looked like a professional expression.
'Well, it took me a lot longer to accept what you have just said in a beautiful and touching way. Let's just hope you get the chance to tell Lucifer, too' she said, grabbing Chloe's hands between hers.
She saw a shadow cross Chloe's face and gently urged her to tell her more.
After some pondering, Chloe said: 'Well, we haven't even had a proper date yet and suddenly I have to deal with the enormity of this epiphany I've just had. We were finally getting somewhere and then I get poisoned and then I find out that he went to Hell to get the antidote, that he's been doing these amazing things for me all this time. And I think: wow, we just had our first kiss and are just figuring out how to be more than partners and friends and now, the scale of his actions and his feelings just scare me. Don't get me wrong, I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him and Lucifer disappearing like that made me realize how much he means to me but… but…. how do I prove myself to Lucifer after everything he's done for me? I mean, all this time all he had to do to make me believe him was to show me his other face. But he didn't trust me enough to do that… but on the other hand he risked so much, he will forever feel guilty for Uriel, and in his case it really is forever! So I just don't know how to make it up to him, you know?
Linda had been nodding while Chloe poured out her heart.
'I think you have to accept that in this particular relationship, things will be different. You will have to have your first meal out together after you deal with some pretty big issues. And I don't think Lucifer expects you to repay him in kind for anything he's done for you. You have already done so much for him, Chloe.'
Linda saw Chloe shaking her head so she continued:' Yes! When you two first met, Lucifer was unable to trust anyone; he didn't believe that he could do good and he thought nobody would ever truly be interested in what he had to say or what he felt. And you changed all that: he trusts you a lot. More than anyone else in his life, I think. But yes, you are right. He could have shown you but he was scared of how you might react…'
At that, Chloe's head shot up.
'Yes, the thought of you rejecting him definitely played a part in his decision not to show you. And subconsciously, I think he knew that if you were to find out about his actions, all he's done for you, you might also run scared. Because he thinks that you don't care as much about him as he does about you. And ultimately, I think his intense feelings for you scare him, too.' Linda paused, waiting for a reaction from Chloe.
'Well' Chloe answered after a while, trying on a smile 'I don't feel like running away from him, from this -however enormous the implications- now that I don't know if and when I'll see him again. So I doubt that the moment I see him in the flesh I will suddenly have a change of heart.'
'Glad to hear it, sister' Maze exclaimed. 'Or I would have to kill you in your sleep, after all!'
Linda was about to make good on her previous threat when Chloe said she really needed fresh air and would they please go for a walk and perhaps lunch with her? Maze and Linda agreed instantly.
As the three friends -because that's what they had become over time, friends- left the apartment, Chloe felt slightly guilty. She should really contact Amenadiel and find out more about blessed children like herself but she felt that she needed time to let what she had found out sit for a few hours at least. Her brain and her heart were only human, after all, and felt like they might burst with all the bits of new information and new sensations of the last few days and weeks.