A/N: I'm so sorry it took me over a week longer than I promised! Please don't kill me.. It was just really hard for me to get this chapter to what I wanted it to be. I hope it makes up for some of it, though, that it's close to double the length of my normal chapters.. As always, thank you for all your wonderful reviews! They keep me going and help write when it's hard.

I hope you'll enjoy the barbeque!

What you'll need to understand: The part in italics is Lucas's email.

Disclaimer (that I've forgotten from almost all chapters): I don't claim to own any of the world of One Tree Hill that Mark Schwahn created. Also there's song lyrics that aren't my own, but from a wonderful song by Altarmotive: Please Resolve This (played in OTH 4.16)

-Saturday, (ie. the next day)-

"So how were they about me coming with you today?" Neil asked. He was driving them to Nathan and Haley's for the barbeque. Of the people that would be there today he had only met Haley, Brooke and Brandon so he thought it best to be prepared.

"Well, I stopped by yesterday to pick Haley up for studio. She was getting ready and Jamie was already at school, so I told Nathan and Lydia first. He's a lot like Brooke when it comes to our friendship, so he might have had my head if I hadn't personally mentioned to him that you were coming with me today and he had heard about it just from Haley." Peyton rambled happily. They had had a fun work date the night before and today she got to spend the day with her best friends. It was going to be a good day.

"Anyway, Lydia kind of stole the show, so I never really got to talking about it with Nathan. Haley was fine with it and, well, you know Brooke. She was over the moon to have you here." she laughed.

"Okay. How did Lydia steal the show? She's the kid who stole you from me the last time, right?" He spoke so lightly that they could both disregard the bitter word choices of the second question.

"Yes, Lydia is my five-year-old goddaughter, who has especially lately," Peyton stretched out each word so that it emphasized her amused and loving thoughts behind the words, "really started to participate in adult conversations. Poor Nathan expected her to not really get what was going on or ask what it meant that I was going out with you. But no, Lydia asked what I was gonna wear to the date and where we were going." Peyton laughed.

"Seriously, sometimes I think the girl forgets that she's only five. Anyway then she asked if we were going to be kissing a lot now and Nathan basically choked on his coffee. I'm gonna make it up to him and make sure to do all kinds of 5-year-old stuff with her today. She's adorable, but I don't want her to grow up too fast even if she's best friends with her 24-years-older aunt."

They arrived to the Scotts and Neil took her hand in his as they walked to the back yard. Others already at sight, but still away he smiled at her and whispered to her ear a closing statement of the earlier discussion "You are inspiring at being an aunt."

The gang spent a little while all together, but soon Brandon and Lydia requested the three women to come with them to Lydia's little play house. Haley whispered something to Nathan's ear and waited for his nod of agreement before agreeing to the kid's request.

"So, what should we play?" Brandon asked curling around Brooke's neck as they walked to the play house.

"What, you sounded like you had a plan when you wanted us here?" Brooke laughed and gave her son some affectionate kisses while Haley opened the door.

"No, I wanted you here so we can have girl talk and daddy won't freak out." Lydia directed the explanation to Brooke and whispered the last part so that Haley wouldn't here.

"Great!" Brooke squealed. "Haley you've raised a great kid."

Brandon wasn't as happy about the idea. He jumped out of his mother's arm. "But I'm a boy. Girl talk sounds.." he thought for a moment with an emphasized frown on his face. ".. so girly."

"Oh, honey, let me tell you a very important secret." Brooke sat down on the play house porch. "Your daddy is great at girl talk. He may not talk it himself, but he understands it really well. That's because he's practiced. And boys that understand girl talk are so much cooler than the ones who don't."

Brandon thought about it.

"How 'bout just a little bit of girl talk and you can stop it whenever you want? And then we'll play something fun." Brooke suggested to him.

"Actually, I say we just play something fun. Why waste such a cool playhouse?" Peyton argued. "What could we play here: Home? Café? Kindergarten?"

"Café!" Brandon got excited. "Lydia and I can make all kinds of food for you and then someone can serve and then you can tell us what foods you liked.."

"I don't know.. It could be fun, but.." Lydia considered somewhat unconvinced.

"Lydia did you know that uncle Lucas's mom Karen used to have a café where Clothes Over Bro's is now? And your mom used to be a waitress there." Peyton came up with a new angle. She had just told Neil she'd keep the kid playing her own age things today and she was determined.

That did it. Lydia's eyes lit up of excitement. "Did you mama?"

"Yeah we did. And your uncle Lucas helped there, too sometimes." Haley smiled at the memories.

"Cool! Aunt Pey and aunt Brooke, were y'all there too?" the little girl was forming an idea in her mind.

"Yeah, senior and junior year of High school we all hung out there quite a lot." Brooke joined in the memories.

"Great! We'll play that! I'll be Karen, who could Brandon be?"

"Can I be uncle Lucas?" Brandon was eager to join Lydia's idea.

"Yeah. That's perfect. Y'all are just y'all in High School. But mama it's your day off, 'cause me and Brandon, I mean Lucas will take care of the café." Lydia explained. "Oh, what was the name of Karen's café?"

"It was just that sweetie. Karen's Café." Haley smiled at her daughter's resourcefulness. "Thanks for giving me the day off!"

Lydia and Brandon stepped inside the play house that was now their kitchen and the three women sat down on the porch waiting to be served. "So we're supposed to play ourselves in High school now. What memories do you have from the café?" Haley started the conversation.

"Is that a real question or are we supposed to answer as our highschool-selves?" Brooke enquired.

"However you like.." Haley offered, but Lydia peeked her head out of the play house and gave stricter instructions. "No mama, we are playing now. Don't ruin the game!"

"Okay, well there you go.." Haley corrected herself and the all three laughed.

"Well we gathered here for the Honey Grove emergency meeting.." Peyton started. "Mouth needed assistance.."

"Thank you for censuring for the little ears.." Brooke laughed. "My first memories from 'here' were setting you up on a date with Nathan" she pointed at Haley, who smiled at the memory, "and watching Lucas talk with you and Larry. I was So jealous of you." she pointed at Peyton, who blushed, but covered it up so fast that no one made a big deal out of it.

Lydia and Brandon came to take orders. Brooke and Peyton ordered pie and Haley Mac 'n Cheese and as the kids gotten the orders the pretend High Schoolers went back to memorizing.

"My turn?" Haley asked. "I was early in my pregnancy with Jamie, when Brooke marched into the café during my shift and told that Rachel thought she was pregnant. Then we talked about pregnancy scares and Nathan and Luke's stands on the possibility of babies."

"Oh, god.." Brooke gasped. "I remember that time. It was terrible and now afterwards quite funny."

"Yeah, well speaking of.." Haley turned to see if the kids were listening. "I'm breaking the rules of the game, but I'm just excited to inform you that we're expecting another member to our family." Haley placed her hand on her still flat belly.

Brooke squealed and both Peyton and Brooke hugged and congratulated Haley.

"Were you like that in High School?" Lydia peeked her head out the door to check the adults were still playing. The three women looked at each other, smiled and then burst to laugh.

"Yes, Lydia. Some things don't just change." Peyton answered.

"Okay. But Lucas, I think you should go and hang out with your friends Haley, Brooke and Peyton. Make sure they stay in character." Lydia instructed to Brandon.

Brandon happily obliged and went to cuddle and give kisses to his mother. Brooke cuddled back with just as much affection.

"Now, that was actually much wiser move from Lydia than she even knew. The cuddling and kissing was definitely a scene from High School's Karen's Café." Haley laughed. "Actually it fits the image both with Brooke and with Peyton."

Peyton was quiet. She just looked at Brooke cuddling with her son and Haley who was apparently pregnant again.

"Oh, hush Haley." Brooke laughed. Haley was hilariously right, though. They all knew it. They could have pointed out that Lucas and Peyton had become an official exclusive couple at the café and there many other moments to remember for both Brooke and Peyton. But all that was best kept under wraps, because Brooke was now much better off with Julian and it was all still quite complicated with Peyton.

"I'm doing so much better now than back then. Just look at the handsome guy I'm cuddling with now." Brooke boasted.

She took a quick look at the men further away. She smiled at the sight of Neil and Julian seemingly hitting it off really well. Nathan and Jamie participated in the conversation, too, but it was easy to see that they were in much more observant mode than normally. Lucas was brooding and staring at Haley, Peyton, Brandon and herself. Brooke was pretty sure he was mostly looking at Peyton. It was actually so High School that Brooke couldn't help but chuckle. It was definitely time to change the subject, though.

"Speaking of.. P. Sawyer, we need more details about how it's going with Neil." Brooke started.

"It's going well, I think. I took last night off and he took me bowling. We had fun. And I'm really happy he's here now." Peyton smiled, although there was a hint of sadness in the smile. She really meant the last part. Especially now that she had heard Haley's news. It surprised her how bad it felt for herself to not have what Brooke and Haley did. Knowing she was here with Neil and not alone made her a little more hopeful, too.

"Speaking of, I think I'm gonna go spend some time with him" Maybe it would get even better when she actually had him by her side. She needed that now, because she really wanted to celebrate her friends' happiness with them.

Brooke and Haley smiled as she walked away.

"I didn't wanna say anything when Peyton was here, but you know what else seems very High School?" Brooke noted to Haley. She pointed at Lucas. "That best friend of yours is totally pining over my best friend again."

Haley was filled with love to see Lucas watching how Peyton joined Neil where he was sitting. He was obviously jealous.

"A friendly advice from one Leyton best friend to another: yours better not screw up the life of mine again.." Brooke warned.

"Hey you," Neil smiled and made room for Peyton next to him. "Congratulations! I heard Haley's pregnant again. Must be great for you getting to be an aunt again."

Peyton forced a smile. "Yeah, Haley and Nathan were so meant to be parents that it'll be great for them to have one more."

She was really happy for her friends, but right now she was not feeling as happy as Neil clearly expected her to. Most days she could just enjoy all the amazing things she had and push aside the grudge of not having the amazing families her friends had. Today, just wasn't one of those good days. She wanted what Haley and Brooke had so bad and it hurt that she was the only one without that.

The worst thing was that the married moms probably couldn't really even remember what it felt like to be her. They had gotten everything and more and they got to share all the hardships that came along with an amazing man by their side. She on the other hand had to struggle through all that by herself. Sure she could talk about a lot of things with her friends, but it wasn't the same. Even Neil that she was trying to be with now, did not seem to even notice her pain.

Just like many other times, when Peyton really needed an out from an awkward situation, Lydia climbed onto her lap. She placed a kiss on Peyton's cheek just like Brandon had done to Brooke showing her affection so sweetly.

"You weren't there when I brought out your pie." She stated.

"I'm sorry I missed your pie honey. I just had to come spend some time with Neil, too. Did you give mama and Brooke their Karen's Café foods?"

"Yeah, Brooke said that if I wanna open up a café when I grow up, she could give me her store, where Karen's Café used to be. Brooke said I could call it whatever I wanted. Maybe it could be Lydia's or Karen's or maybe Aunt Pey's."

"Wow, that sounds cool." Peyton smiled at her favorite little girl.

"Yeah. So, are you gonna be Aunt Pey's daddy?" Lydia asked Neil suddenly. She took him by surprise and poor Neil almost choked on his beer.

"Honey, we have been out on one date. It's way too early to be even asking about that." Peyton told the girl softly.

"Sorry." Lydia apologized sincerely. "I just wanted to know, because I think you deserve a daddy, too."

"That's so sweet of you, dear." Peyton laughed "Tell you what: you'll be the first to know when I've found my daddy. Then you can ask him all kinds of questions about it, but until then you don't need to worry about it."

"Okay." Lydia gave them a pride and wide smile.

"Hey Sawyer, didn't you find Mick already on our tour almost seven years ago? What's this all about?" Neil half whispered very confused about what his trial girlfriend had been talking about.

Peyton giggled. "Yeah, Lydia has her own words and concepts to things. She didn't think you'd be my father. Right?" Peyton turned back to Lydia and winked at her. "Oh, one more thing honey: Don't tell aunt Brooke what I promised to you, 'cause she'll be jealous."

"Like uncle Lucas and daddy?" Lydia's eyes lit up with extra sparkle.

"Um, I don't know.. What do you mean?" It was Peyton's turn to be confused. She could not imagine what could get both Scott brothers jealous.

"Well, yesterday me and daddy were watching Red Bedroom music videos and Jamie and uncle Lucas came, too." Lydia explained with a lot of importance in her voice. She was always like that when she got to tell stories.

"Then Jamie said that daddy was jealous and then daddy said that uncle Lucas was jealous and then Jamie said that Uncle Lucas had been jealous since Monday. And then daddy asked some stupid question that didn't need to be answered. They said everyone already knew the answer." Lydia had a lot of passion and frustration in her voice. "I think it's stupid. 'Cause I didn't know the answer."

Peyton smiled at her. She still couldn't figure out what the girl was on about, but whatever it was it was cute to watch and she told herself she probably was better off not knowing anyway.

Lydia watched intently both Peyton and Neil and then all of a sudden the girl got very thoughtful and serious. Peyton tried making funny faces at her and Neil soon joined her in that, when he noticed Lucas was watching them. But even with two adults making fools of themselves right by the five-year-old, Lydia stayed deep in her thoughts. It was like she was calculating or trying to work something up in her head.

"Yo, D! Penny for your thoughts.." Peyton finally used her voice to get the girl's attention.

That did it. "You wanna give me money?" Lydia asked curiously.

"Well, it's a saying, but yes I can give you a penny if you tell me what you were thinking.." Peyton answered. She could have just used another saying.

"I was just thinking why everyone was saying Neil is hot.. I think he doesn't seem that hot. He's been here for a LONG time and he hasn't been like that at all. I think reminds me of aunt Lindsey in that." Lydia thought out loud. And for a long while the both two adults with her just stared at her in shock.

They had all united to Nathan and Haley's patio from the earlier smaller groups. The past hour had been full of baby talk. There were so many different angles to talk about. Brooke and Julian had still fresh memories from expecting Ellen, and Neil being the natural socialite contributed a lot of questions and stories, too.

However, it was easy for Lucas to see that Peyton wasn't doing so well with the topic. Yes, she seemed somewhat attentive, but to Lucas many of her smiles seemed forced. She felt distant, too.

Lucas had a feeling she had a lot to deal with when it came to babies that weren't her own. He did, too, but the world was missing out on much more amazing parent potential because she didn't have kids than because he didn't. He assumed it would be really hard for her.

Peyton excused herself from the group to go inside to bathroom, but Lucas noticed her sitting on a living room couch, holding her head in her hands. He, too, found an excuse to go inside without drawing attention. He noticed the shade wasn't so good for keeping the foods cool anymore and so he announced he'd take the bowl of whipped cream back to fridge.

Lucas walked to the other couch and sat down on the nearest end of it to Peyton and handed her a plate, spoon and a big slice of pecan pie. He had taken it from the table before heading in, because he knew it was one of Peyton's favorite comfort foods.

"How're you holding up?" he asked voice full of sympathy and worry.

"What do you mean? I'm just fine." Peyton put on the same forced smile that had worked so well with Neil.

"Peyton," he warned. "I could see through that fake smile when we were 16 and we were hardly a month into knowing each other. You're putting on your brave face. So how're you really holding up?"

"It's wonderful news for Nathan, Haley and the kids that there's one more on the way." Peyton smiled at him little sadly.

"Yeah, I know. But it's hard, too.." Lucas said quietly.

Peyton's eyes shot wide open. She was surprised by his reply. "So you don't think I'm just crazy and selfish for feeling sadness and a bit of grudge, too, because of the news?"

"No, I think you're human." Lucas answered seriously, but then chuckled. "At least I like to think that, because I feel it, too. And if you're crazy and selfish, hell anything worse than human, it must make me a terrible monster."

Peyton stared at him. "You feel it too?" she asked quietly.

Lucas shrugged "You know I've always wanted nothing short of what they have."

Peyton nodded. Back before Nathan became a dad, Lucas was the Scott brother you would think of as the father type, much more so than Nathan. She had been in a serious relationship with him so of course she knew his dreams of having a family. It had really surprised her that him and Lindsey hadn't started one.

They were quiet for a long moment. The silence was heavy. The kind that most people fear. But Lucas took it all in, because even though it was uncomfortable there was a unique energy, passion, in the silence and it was exactly what his marriage had lacked. It was a strong moment of meeting and it brought new levels of meaning to life.

"All my best friends are here. But I feel so.." Peyton searched for the word "disconnected. Like I'm an alien and dropped into the land of my dreams, but I'm only allowed to watch and be an aunt." Lucas just listened so took a spoonful of the pie and then went on "I do love being an aunt and I love those nieces and nephews to death. But I can't help but want a family of my own. Just something that is mine."

Lucas smiled at her. He knew. He had known the longest time that she would make an amazing mother and wife. They had talked about it sometimes when they were together.

"I know. That's why I had a feeling it would be hard for you, too. If anyone deserves that dream to come true, it's you. You're amazing with Lydia and Brandon, but then again I've always known you'd make an amazing mom."

Streams of tears escaped Peyton's eyes. Damn it, she did not want to start comparing her funny and available Neil to her long-gone prince Lucas. But when both men had noted the way she is with Lydia and Brandon, but come to so different conclusions about it, it was hard not to. Neil had had no clue what was going on with her emotionally and had made her feel really guilty. Whereas Lucas had seen right through her and understood the pain in her heart.

"God, I hope you're right. Maybe I'll either have to compromise my dreams or accept they are not coming true and move on." Peyton wiped her tears. "Anyway, enough about my whining.. How are you holding up with the separation thing? This must be especially hard for you with everything going on with Lindsey.."

"As sick as it sounds, I actually feel like I'm coming back to life again. Like I'm starting to feel again.." Lucas knew he was being vague, but he couldn't lie to Peyton and she did not know enough details about everything, so vague seemed like the only option. "Sometimes life makes you feel hurt. Sometimes it brings joy or passion or something else. So how I'm holding up varies, but it's all good anyway."

"That sounds inspiring." Peyton smiled. She was about to continue the conversation, when she noticed Brooke looking at them intently through the windows and she remembered she needed to get back to Neil and her friends. The unavoidable Neil-Lucas comparison should have reminded of that already so it was high time she went. She finished her pie and she really had no reasons not to go back out yet. "I gotta go. Looks like Brooke wants me outside."

Lucas looked outside to see what she meant and immediately remembered Brooke's order to stay away from her. "I actually think she may just want my head. She told me to stay away from you and here I am."

Peyton rolled her eyes. Of course Brooke would do that. When Peyton had asked her to keep everyone grounded and not overly excited about the trial relationship, partially the reason had been to give Brooke a chance to watch herself and her own enthusiasm. But it would have been naive to think she'd not meddle at all.

"Don't worry about Brooke. We're friends, right? Thanks for all the understanding and encouragement, Luke." Peyton rose from the couch and walked towards the backdoor.

"Hey, Peyton." Lucas stopped her and got her to turn towards her right by the door. "I'd really like that. Being friends with you again... I know we kinda lost each other for a while, but hopefully that's over now..?"

Peyton smiled and nodded before heading back out. They both were thinking about a memory from High School, when Peyton had said the same thing to Lucas and then they had agreed that 'them two' was always gonna be there. They both wondered if it still was true that 'them two' were always gonna be there. If it was true, what could that mean, then?

They spent a full day at Nathan and Haley's and Peyton and Neil set off to head back to Wilmington only when the sun was almost setting. Neil drove and Peyton was in charge of the music. It had become quite a regular responsibilty arrangement for their Wilmington-Tree Hill-Wilmington drives.

"So..." Peyton took Neil's currently free hand to hers. "What'd you think of my friends?"

"You want an honest or a censured version?" Neil smirked and winked at her.

"Well," Peyton laughed. "If I am to consider Actually going out with you, it better be honest.." She did get the question as part of Neil's humor, but this was also a very serious matter to her, so she had to let that show in her remark back.

"I already knew Haley was nice and Brooke was cool. But Nathan and Julian seemed pretty cool, too." Neil seemed to get that it was time to get honest and serious. "The kids on the other hand, well I don't think we got off to the best start.. It was a low blow from that goddaughter of yours to compare me to Satan's Wife. What was that about anyway?"

"It's much lower blow from you to be comparing Lucas to Satan." Peyton shot back.

Neil chuckled a little, "Peyton chill, it used to make you feel better when I got to my protective Lucas-dashing mode. We both know he's an idiot and he hurt you really bad. I think I recall a few times from the tour when you said it was sexy. That it turned you on.."

"Well, I guess I've grown up and moved on in five years." Peyton sighed. "Lucas is my friend and he's been through enough. So you need to cut the name calling and at least learn to tolerate him."

"Fine, for you I will try my best." Neil sighed dramatically. They stopped at a red light so he leaned over to affectionately kiss her cheek as if to seal the deal. "Just don't force me to like him.."

Peyton chuckled at him. He could be really adorable. "You don't have to like him. Just try and be nice and civil, that's all I ask."

"Okay. But why did Lydia say I'm not that hot?"

Peyton burst into laughter. She couldn't seem to stop laughing and it got Neil even more curious.

"Don't worry she wasn't commenting on your appeal." Peyton reassured as soon as she was calm enough to breathe and speak again. "Jamie has taught her that hot is adult language for someone who gets kissed a lot."

"Oh, okay. That's better I guess. Maybe we can work on my hotness rate?" Neil winked.

"Down boy." Peyton blushed. "Sorry that my godkids can make life pretty awkward... Actually, I'm not sorry. I love that they're so sassy."

"Nah it's okay. I'm not into five-year-olds like that.. If you think I'm hot that definitely makes up for your godaughter's remarks." Neil smirked and caused Peyton to roll her eyes.

Back home in Wilmington Peyton was restless and could not sleep. Every time she closed her eyes her mind would start replaying moments from earlier that day and a new cycle of thoughts would start up.

At 3 am she gave up trying and opened her computer to get some work done. She was her own boss so she could kill time now working and sleep whenever she could, then.

To her big surprise Peyton found an email from Lucas in her inbox. It was titled as "song from earlier" and already at the inbox she could see there was an attachment. She clicked the message open and read

Peyton,

I thought about what we talked today at Nathan and Haley's and this song came to my mind. It's lyrics suit so well with what we thought, and well I know how much you love song lyrics.. So if you're still feeling like you did earlier, put on the song on and enjoy the lyrics. Since this is just an uncool email and there's no official lyrics booklets to read, I wrote them down for you to make the experience a little better anyway.

I hope they'll help you as they help me.

Peyton clicked the song open and let herself sink into the music and lyrics.

It's 5 am and I can't fall asleep

I lie awake again with these portraits in my head

A million melodies accompany a thousand broken dreams

As I toss inside my bed.

I know I'll get along just fine..

So don't you turn away

Please resolve this

It doesn't have to end this way

Please resolve this

Resolve this

Sometimes I feel like love is so unreal

And every girl I love is just another one I can't have

I guess it's true that only God can heal the wounds that eat us up

But I'm tired of waiting

I just can't seem to leave the past behind

So don't you turn away

Please resolve this

It doesn't have to end this way

Please resolve this

Resolve this

What choice do I have?

I can't get you out of my head

Hold me in your hand

And I'll never leave again

Never leave again

So don't you turn away

Please resolve this

(Can't you see I'm sorry)

It doesn't have to end this way

Please resolve this

(Can't you see I'm sorry)

Resolve this

Cause my heart is in your hands

Please resolve this

(Can't you see I'm sorry)

Let me feel alive again

Please resolve this

Resolve this

I just wanted to tell you that I don't believe for a second it can end this way for you. You're way too amazing for things not be resolved.

love,

Lucas

Peyton was in tears. They weren't full of angst as she had been earlier. She felt a sense of peace and comfort. How could this man after all the years of estrangement and minimal communication still know exactly what she needed to feel better? Her best friends and trial boyfriend hadn't even recognized how hard the day had been for her, but Lucas did and he also helped her get through it.

Had it not been so late at night, she would have started worrying about her feelings, but she was tired and she could finally calm herself down for sleeping. Peyton put the song on repeat and curled against a big fluffy extra pillow in her bed. Before the song started for the third time she was sound asleep.

A/N: Here we are. What do you think? Once again all your feedback, ideas and suggestions have a huge impact on how the story continues, so please keep them coming! ;) I hope you had a wonderful Easter!