Chapter 8
(Winter, 1998)
Kingsley left with Amelia after expanding one of the guest rooms to accommodate the 'guest'.
Kingsley and Harry had pointily glanced at my beaded bag before asking me if I could help.
The guest room next to my mother would be for Narcissa only, while the other spare room that used to have Teddy's things would be for all three men.
Kingsley had made the beds identical to the beds at Hogwarts. Since all three men were a bit taller than average, he had to expand the room for all three large beds.
As for the colour, it was far from Slytherin green.
My mother voiced her concern about Snape sharing a room with the younger men. Snape had said that it was fine.
I didn't know how to feel with both of them speaking to one another. It was surreal.
Ron left, saying he would go to the Burrow, but I had a feeling that he was lying. Only Harry, Ginny and Remus stayed. Teddy was taking a nap in the living room while we all moved towards the kitchen to eat dinner.
Their guest had tried to decline dinner, but my mother insisted.
After transfiguring some extra chairs and expanding the table, we all sit down. Harry sat next to Ginny since Nott and Malfoy had taken the seats on either side of me, while my mum sat between Remus and Snape. Narcissa by Snape's side.
I served myself some veggie soup first, breaking the weird tension. Mum followed then Remus. Harry just sipped some wine while Ginny was trying to get him to eat actual food. Nott didn't reach for anything while Malfoy was gazing outside the window.
Mum made a plate for Snape and Narcissa since neither one had served themselves. I wanted to tell her they had hands and could help themselves, but I didn't want to start anything. I turned to Malfoy and offered him some wine.
"Wine, Malfoy?"
He turned to look down at me with a bit of surprise on his face. It didn't last long before his eyes turned flat. He knew how to use occlumency. Of course, he did; Snape probably taught him.
He tipped his head to the side towards his empty glass. I poured in a generous amount and was about to set it down when somebody's hand stopped me.
I passed him the bottle as I glanced down at our hands. We touched fingers briefly.
Looking down at the plate, I tried to eat the food, but the two men on either side of me barely even moved their forks. We ate in silence with the occasional whisper here and there. I didn't talk except for answering a question or two made by Ginny and mum.
Harry excused himself not long after with Ginny and Remus. The others left, but Harry stopped near the kitchen door.
"Hermione."
I pushed my chair back and walked over to him. I felt several eyes on me as I slid into Harry's arms. He pulled me out of the kitchen. "I would stay longer, but I can't," he said as he rubbed his hand up and down my back.
I snuggled a bit closer to his chest. His scent comforted me.
"I know, Harry. So don't try to apologize for it." I understood too well. The same reason that Ron hadn't been able to stay earlier. He knew that they hadn't been personally responsible for the deaths of Percy, George, and Fred.
Yet he couldn't be civil. Not yet. Not to THEM.
"Let me know if you feel uncomfortable with them here. I can always move them to another place even if I have to buy it myself."
I smiled as I pulled away.
"I probably won't be alone with just them all the time. Mum is here with me, and I'm sure Remus will be here too since he's always eating dinner here. Plus, Neville is coming sometime this week. My first unofficial patient. After him, Lavender will come too."
Harry nodded, "I know. I just worry. Ron will probably want to talk to you later. I'll see you later, Mione."
Once he left, I turned back around to head into the kitchen. Mum was near the sink while Snape helped pick up the plates. Narcissa excused herself and went up to her room.
Mum turned her head a bit to look at me. She stared at me, inclining her head towards the remaining guest. I knew she wanted me to talk to them.
She knew about Malfoy since I'd told her that he had called me a mudblood when we were children, but she also knew that he had stopped bullying me as we got older. It was true.
As soon as the war had escalated, anything to do with house prejudice and school rivalry meant nothing. By the end, we had all just wanted to survive.
Malfoy suddenly got up from the chair and moved over to my mother. My hand twitched towards my wand, but I reined in the urge. Mum stopped washing the dishes and turned to face him. He had his head bowed and his arms down to his side.
"I wanted to apologize for what I did to your daughter. I was raised to hate anybody that wasn't a pureblood. Especially muggleborns, she was the one that made me realize that my parents had been wrong. That HE had been wrong," he looked up at my mom for a second before looking back down, "I'm sorry."
Mum was looking at him with a thoughtful gaze before she raised her arm slowly to his face. She lifted his face so that he would meet her eyes.
"It's okay. I forgive you for it all. You learned from the mistakes you have made. With what you've learned, move forward with a better insight into the world around you. Just remember that understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery. I truly think that you're on the way to the latter." With those parting words, mum left the kitchen.
Snape had been staring at my mother as she spoke but now followed her without a backwards glance.
That left me in the room with the Nott and Malfoy. I walked over to the window and closed it. I turned around and noticed that Nott had silently followed me. He was gazing at me silently while Malfoy moved over to him.
The attention I received from them unnerved me, but it didn't feel threatening.
"Thank you for letting us stay." Nott's voice filled the room. He was taller than Malfoy, so I had to look up at him whenever he spoke. Just like right now.
"It's fine. My mother offered, and I didn't see anything wrong with it." At least not to the point where I wanted to voice my discomfort.
I didn't know what else to say to them. I knew Malfoy, but I didn't know Nott. I leaned back against the counter to stare at them. Malfoy looked at me for a second but didn't hold my gaze for long. Unlike Malfoy, Nott had no problem meeting my eyes.
"How well do you know how to fight?" I asked them.
Nott's stare becomes piercing.
Malfoy cleared his throat, "We both were taught by watching others. My father gave me a few lessons, but the spells can't be used without killing somebody." He swallowed hard. His gaze became unfocused, and he started to shiver somewhat hard.
I bit out a curse and strode toward him.
I knew that look. I had seen it before on Ron and Harry to know what was coming next.
I caught him just as his legs buckled. I had thought I could handle his weight, but he was HEAVY!
Struggling to keep us both from falling, I felt somebody grab him from behind. Nott lifted him, making it look easy, and carried him into the living room.
Grabbing a towel from the drawer and bowl on my way to the living room, I saw Nott arrange Malfoy on the couch. Pointing my wand at the bowl, I sat near the couch.
I whispered, "Aguamenti," and waited for it to fill up before running the towel through the water.
I wrung it quickly before placing the damp towel on his forhead, using my hand to hesitantly move his hair away. Not that he noticed with how tense he was.
His whole body was held like a drawn bowstring.
Nott walked over to the window, body tense. He wasn't looking at us but outside into the rainy night as his jaw ticked. He slid his fisted hands into his trouser pockets when he caught me looking at him through the reflection in the window.
I grabbed my beaded bag, opening it with one hand. I looked for two specific potions.
I hesitated before sliding my hand under his head and lifting him.
Tipping both contents into his mouth, I waited until he swallowed before sliding my hand out from underneath his head. His hair felt soft to the touch, which surprised me. I shook my head at my errant thought. Now was not the time.
Malfoy still had his eyes closed but was breathing easier. I pulled the towel off his forhead, letting it fall into the bowl.
I probably could have cleaned him up with a spell or two, but I didn't think he would feel comfortable if I had.
He opened his eyes briefly before shutting them again. "You didn't have to do that," he said as he lifted his arm to cover his face.
Putting away the empty phials, I glanced at Nott again before answering, "I would have done it for anybody else. So it's nothing." I was about to get up when I felt him gently lay his hand on my wrist.
Turning slightly to look at him, I raised one eyebrow, "What?"
He looked down at his wrist and then at me, "It matters to me. I just wanted to say thank you." I nodded and stood up. He removed his hand as he stood up too. We were standing a bit too close.
I could feel the heat from his body, and I was sure he could also feel mine. I still didn't want to acknowledge that I had touched him.
Nor the fact that I hadn't flinched when he'd reached for me.
Nott had turned around to watch us both silently from the window. His voice sounded strained when he said, "We have both been taught many things. We discovered it the hard way, but there isn't any need to be taught again. Severus has been training us several things as a precaution."
He walked passed us as he headed upstairs. His arms brushed mine for a bit, his scent washing over me as he did so. But it also brought to my attention where exactly I stood.
I was between them, their body heat on either side, caging me in. I felt a little flustered and weirded out by my feelings. I scowled as Nott disappeared up the stairs.
Saying a quick goodnight to Malfoy, I walked upstairs. I could feel his gaze on me till I disappeared.
Walking to my door, I noticed that it was open just a bit, and a soft glow was coming from inside. I walked in to see that it was occupied.
I saw my mother sleeping on my bed. She was clutching something in her hand. Closing the door gently so as not to wake her, I took off my shoes before joining her on the bed. She was facing me and had the necklace my father had given her for their tenth anniversary in her hands.
It contained a picture of me as a baby on one side and a picture of the two when they had graduated from college.
My father had died a week before the battle. I had been ready to look for them when my mum had turned up at our old house. I had gone home to pick up a couple of things and head to Australia but had been shocked when I opened the door to the house. My mother had been sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
She had gotten up and slapped me across the face.
Seconds later, with my face still stinging, she had fallen into my arms, crying.
She had chanted my name with so much pain. I hadn't understood why she had been crying. I had looked around her expecting to see my father's loving face appear since the sounds of my mum's cries should have alerted him to the fact that somebody had distressed his wife.
When he hadn't appeared, I had pushed my mum away, and the look in her eyes had been answering enough.
All I'd seen was despair and pain.
I still had asked, "Where's father?"
She had quieted down even as tears ran down her face.
"He is dead. He's gone, Hermione."
Those words had destroyed my world as nothing else could have. I'd always been a daddy's girl. I had fainted and had woken up in Grimland place.
I'd woke to see Harry's concerned face next to me. His face had been full of concern and worry.
I had broken down in his arms.
Later that day, my mother explained that my father had fallen ill around April, and he had remembered everything two weeks before he had died.
He had known that his wife hadn't remembered and had kept quiet about it.
My father had sent a private detective, who had been a squib and had known who I was, to find out what had happened with me.
He had asked my father why he'd wanted to know about me, and my father had told him that he was that "child's" father. The squib had then told him everything.
The squib had told him what the public had known of me. That I was a fugitive and that Riddle was trying to kill Harry. That it had been months since the last time anybody had seen us. But everybody believed us alive.
My father had forgotten his anger at her deceit. His worry had overridden any lingering anger. He'd just wanted me to be alive and well.
Mother had been kept in the dark until the last hour before his death in which he had left recordings and a locket for her.
The truth of who they were and who they were missing had cracked the spell I'd cast on my mother.
The final blow was my father's death.
The rush of memories had set her in the hospital for two days.
Once awake, she'd pulled herself together.
She left Australia with my father's body. Buried him near their old house and kept an ear out for me.
She had stayed at the house for a while until I came upon her that fateful day.
The locket my mother clutched in her sleep was one he'd left for them. The only link they had to him.
Sometimes I wondered if my father had ever forgiven me for erasing myself from his memories, for forcing him to forget me.
His only child.
But having known my father, I knew he would've eventually forgiven me. That was the kind of person he'd been.
In return, I would always protect the other half of his heart he left behind.