Chapter Five: Let Me Break You
Hama brought wolf-poodle puppies home once and it was the best day of Katara's life.
There were four of them and they had been left out in a basket at the market with a sign saying they needed a home. And Katara does not think she has ever been so happy and excited as she was when she saw the adorable little furballs in Hama's groceries.
Katara leapt up and down, shrieking with glee. Hama smiled faintly at the little girl she had begun to raise.
Hama always wanted a daughter. A beautiful, waterbending daughter who in her mind looked just like Katara. Hama would never let her go, even if she had to tear every single person in the Fire Nation in two with her bending.
"They're so cute, Gran-Gran!" Katara declared brightly, her mouth so wide open that a lion-vulture could make a nest in it. Hama chuckled, her lips wrinkling as she smiled warmly at the girl.
She was her gem; Katara was the only good thing about the Fire Nation.
And now they had puppies. Hama could not stop laughing as Katara played with them, pretending to be one of them as she licked her tan hands as if they were paws. The wolf-poodles tired first, which no one would have predicted except for someone who knew Katara.
"I love them!" Katara squealed for the thousand time. "We get to keep them?"
Hama watched her cobalt eyes sparkle and tried not to think about what would have happened if Katara were raised as an ordinary slave.
"Of course, dearie."
Katara cheered and ran to hug Hama tightly.
Hama gently pat Katara's head and smiled faintly yet again.
xXx
Years later, in the Royal Palace, Katara has a horrific headache.
That is the only thing that she can focus on, despite the pain throughout the rest of her body. She blinks a few times, her eyelashes fluttering until her cobalt eyes open and fixate on the ceiling above her. Not moving feels like the best choice at the moment, but she does scan the room around her for water, for anything.
She will kill them now, believe her. Hama taught her the merits of murder but Katara never could bring herself to do something like that. Now, however? Mai betrayed Katara, Azula hurt her with a second thought and Katara knows that she will die if she does not get out of this palace.
The pain between Katara's thighs is enraging. Katara wants Azula and Mai to pay for what they did to her, but Katara strongly doubts that will happen. No...
She strongly doubts that it will happen if she does not do something about it.
Azula's lips touch Katara's again, and now the waterbender feels a tingling sensation inside of her. So long as Azula does not overstep any bounds, Katara does not see how this can truly... hurt.
"Do you ever desire this?" Azula whispers as she straddles the wide-eyed girl beneath her. It makes her feel powerful. When she has felt nothing but weakness sexually because of her illness, she now is strong.
"With... with a boy," Katara replies, swallowing forcibly. Azula smirks.
"And what can a boy do that I can't?" Azula asks mockingly and Katara does not know if she is asking or not.
"Certain... things," Katara whispers, swallowing.
"Would you like me to find something to penetrate you with?" That, Katara is entirely uncertain about. Trying to figure out if Azula is being genuine or not is difficult.
"Yes," Katara answers and Azula laughs, in a way that Katara is unsure if she finds off-putting or not.
"Mai, help me with this," Azula orders, still stunned that Katara actually seems to be playing along and not viciously resisting.
Katara again gives Mai a look assuring her that Katara thinks she is a complete traitor, but Mai, again, does not seem to care. But the two princesses do, indeed, find something to penetrate her with.
And Katara watches, rapt, in anticipation of what she thinks she is going to allow them to do to her. Her eyes begin to drift as Mai promptly helps Azula; Katara needs to find something to fight with, but she has no idea what to use.
Any curiosity she felt before is gone the moment Azula descends on her like a wild predator with calculated eyes, and Mai pins Katara's wrists down with the blades of two knives gently set atop them as reminder of what will happen if she tries to break free.
Katara glares forward. There is no playing good slave girl anymore. There is no helplessness. Katara is going to fight back.
When the Fire Nation healer comes to check on Katara, on the damage Azula and Mai did, she instantly leaps to her feet. It hurts, but the pain numbs as soon as the adrenaline kicks in.
Katara grabs the cold compress that the Fire Nation healer had made and tears the water from it. She slashes two bloody red gashes in the cheek of the screaming healer, and begins to run, run, run. Katara dashes through the halls, knowing exactly where she must go.
She knows that once she leaves the living quarters she is entering dangerous land, but she does not intend to stop until there is no way her enemies could have pursued her.
Katara feels her heart swell with excitement as she keeps the weapon of water tightly in her hands and runs, runs, runs.
But she is forced to stop when a whip of fire knocks the water from her hands, and the sharp burning sensation makes her yelp and cradle her burnt skin.
Katara takes a deep breath and tries to ignore the pain; she needs to get out.
When she looks up, however, she sees Fire Lord Ozai confidently striding towards her.
xXx
Katara kneels before the Fire Lord and feels the searing hot boiling fury within her. She wants to unleash it on him even if it kills her. The pain inside of her body and the emotional pain and the confusion within her makes dying worth it if she can bring down any of these monsters with her.
But she has her lips pursed as she stares at her hands and does not stop groveling.
"Have we been anything but generous to you?" the Fire Lord growls and Katara averts her eyes.
You have been the opposite of generous to me, is what she would say in any circumstance but this one.
Katara just stares up and wonders why anyone would do this to her. She does not know why Hama sold her; she does not know why the Fire Nation thought it was okay to take her in the first place. All Katara wants is a means to escape, but she does not know what she would do next.
"Answer," demands the Fire Lord and Katara opens her mouth before swallowing her angry words again.
No. She cannot have lost her voice like this. No.
"No," Katara says quietly and it is ambiguous enough to sate both she and Ozai.
He stares at her for a long while and Katara begins to glance around for something to use to attack him. Ozai seems overconfident, which means that he likely is not anticipating for Katara to assassinate him with something from inside of the room.
But Katara does not see anything. She clenches her jaw and continues thinking as quickly as she can.
"I need you to heal my daughter. I think you want to live," Ozai growls and Katara is only half listening. "You must be broken. I had thought perhaps you were a well trained slave, since you are such a clever girl. But obviously no one ever bothered even the most basic housebreaking."
Housebreaking. Katara tries to refrain from spitting on him. Saliva... Katara swishes some around in her mouth and wonders if she could make it deadly enough. It dries slowly and she swallows.
No. That isn't enough to do what must be done.
Ozai continues, "You will be watched by my daughter's wives, who are your owners, after all. And I think I can arrange for proper training and proper repercussions for attempts at something like that again."
Katara feels the hands of the soldiers tightening on her. She summons all of the anger and courage within her; she is going to bloodbend. She is going to bloodbend. Only... Katara never was able to learn how. Even on the full moon; Katara could not.
It was a mental block, Hama insisted again and again and again.
But Katara does not think she has any reservations; nothing seems more appealing to her than bloodbending Fire Lord Ozai.
"Remove her shirt," Ozai orders and Katara feels that same tornado of sickness she feels when she thinks about Mai and Azula last night.
"No!" Katara snaps, and she moves her hand forward to seize Ozai by his blood.
No...
She thinks she can feel his blood for a moment, but it slips away.
No...
xXx
"Azula," Ty Lee whispers as she kisses the dry lips of her wife, "I love you."
They are together in their bedroom, and Ty Lee is waiting on Azula hand and foot. It fills her with an unending joy of the sweet servitude and the caresses Ty Lee receives in exchange for it.
"I know," Azula breathes as she leans back and occasionally glances at the food on her bedside table with mild disdain.
Ty Lee very carefully climbs onto the bed and moves closer to the princess. "Do you want me to have something else ordered for you?"
Azula stares at it for a few moments. "No. I'm not hungry."
Ty Lee tries to hide her worries about that statement with kisses on Azula's neck.
xXx
Katara has been given a kennel. That is not an exaggeration. Kennel.
But she accepts it with an undying pride that she refuses to let go of. Inside are the healing scrolls that she is supposed to study, but Katara strongly doubts that she will ever be allowed water to practice with unless she surrenders to these monsters.
Katara will not to that. She enters her cage and makes herself a very respectable bed out of the blankets offered. Across the room, Mai watches.
Watching. That's what Mai is told to do, and she does not protest because she is not stupid. Because she has protested just once before and she has never regretted anything before except for that. It isn't as if watching the slave girl is going to be very interesting or difficult.
Boredom is pretty refreshing.
Katara stands there, indignant, as if she has a choice. Neither one of them has one and Mai thinks it is disgusting and tiring that Katara has some sort of delusion that she is better than everyone else around her.
"What are you doing?" Katara asks passionately and Mai yawns.
Because of course Katara knows that she is going to be watched. And watched. And watched. And watched until she realizes that there will always be eyes on her even when there are not.
Mai glances up at Katara. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing, so... whatever."
Katara's cheeks are flushed so angrily, and Mai has no idea why she is so pissed off. Mai also does not care enough to ask. Katara continues to fume silently as Mai clips her nails.
Snap. Katara stares with her nose wrinkled angrily. The clipping falls after Mai cuts down one slighter, quieter time. Snap. Katara shifts her weight with even more simmering rage as Mai cuts the next one. Mai taps her next fingernail and debates it listlessly for a few moments before snap.
Snap. Sigh. Katara grinds her teeth. Snap. Snap. Snap.
And, finally, predictably, Katara snaps and loses her patience.
"You said absolutely nothing about the fact that you were the one who let me into that bath to practice!" Katara screeches and Mai sighs. "You did the exact opposite of stopping Azula! You helped her!"
Mai shrugs. "I had no reason to do anything different."
Mai tossing it to Azula, not looking like she is having as much fun as her wife, but sure as fuck not looking like she cares about Katara either.
Katara starts sobbing out of nowhere and Mai wants to poke out her own eardrums.
Ugh. She has literally the worst job.
"I thought I could trust you," Katara ekes between sobs and Mai rolls her eyes.
"That was obviously a poor choice of yours," Mai says, shrugging yet again and prompting Katara to want to throttle her even more.
Katara silences her tears with the burning strength within her. She sits up, glares, and then embraces that kennel as if it were a beautiful mansion all her own.
She will not let them win.
xXx
"You have been responding quite well to the new training," Ozai remarks as he studies Katara.
She feels so degraded, and she fantasizes about taking action on it, before hating herself for not doing that.
"Maybe," Katara whispers, even though she wants to roar that she will not stand for it.
Why? What has Katara become so quickly? Why does she not fight back? She cannot understand for the life of her.
For two weeks Katara has been treated like a poodle-wolf puppy. Except, when an owner bats a poodle-wolf puppy's nose and punishes it for peeing on the floor, it is after the poodle-wolf puppy has pissed all over. Katara has been beaten, has had everything stripped away and then cavalierly given back for no reason.
She has been beaten and told that she will face that if she does something wrong.
Katara has every desire to fight, but she knows that now she is under too close of watch. That is why Ozai assigned Mai, Ty Lee and anyone else to be constantly observing Katara.
"I like how you have been turning out. Things should become much more easier for you now," Ozai says as if he is giving her a gift. She clenches her jaw. "You will be such a good girl soon."
Katara thinks she almost breaks all of her teeth from the pressure.
They are interrupted before Ozai can mock Katara any further, and she is relieved. She waits for him to have her dismissed, shackled and taken away, but that does not happen. Katara again is treated like a piece of furniture that breathes, and as a messenger grovels before Ozai, she is witness to the entirety of the conversation.
"Your highness," the messenger says, not lifting his lips from the ground, "I have with me the reports on Prince Zuko."
Ozai's face curves in a strange way that Katara studies for as long as she can afford to do so.
"They are not due for another month. I have no interest in them," Ozai states coldly.
"With all due respect, my lord, the reports were sent early because Prince Zuko has done something that is of significant interest to the Fire Nation."
Ozai's eyes flash in shock.
Katara watches silently, absorbing and memorizing every word and expression.
xXx
Azula does not want to have another healing session, however... Katara has made them worthwhile.
Azula used to despise every second of her examinations and attempts at alleviating her symptoms. They sickened her more than her sickness. However, Katara is Azula's new favorite toy. Oh, Azula loves to play with her pet and Katara has no choice but to obey.
"I did tell you I could anything a boy could do," Azula says with a smirk as Katara gently examines new bruises.
Azula has only laid in bed for days, yet she has enough bruises to have taken a fall off of the edge of the palace.
"Don't talk about that," Katara says coldly as she reaches into her bowl of water. "Don't you dare."
"I was just trying to play with you. I don't really know my own strength." Another smirk and Katara does not hide her disdain. "My father used to say that about me to my brother. That I was like a little wolf-poodle who didn't realize biting wasn't just a game."
Katara's eyes light up briefly. "I heard about your brother."
"I don't know how you couldn't have." Azula rolls her eyes. "Don't try to emphasize with me or whatever pathetic attempt you're making to befriend me."
"I don't want to befriend you. You're not the kind of person who anybody would ever want to be friends with," Katara grumbles as she is prompted to return to her work by the glare of the guard behind her.
Azula scoffs. "That hurts just so much." She rolls her eyes again and Katara tries to focus.
"I heard about your brother being spied on. They think he's doing something important," Katara says and Azula sits straight up. Katara barely catches the water that the princess's shoulder broke when she sat up so quickly.
"Something important? That does not sound like ZuZu at all." Azula attempts a mocking, overconfident smirk, but the forced twist of her lips just exacerbates her pallid face and illness.
"Pr─Please sit back down, princess, so we can get this over with," Katara says with the same cold fire in her tone as usual. Azula ignores her and neglects punishing her for speaking out of line.
"I cannot possibly imagine that my brother is up to anything important."
Azula gives Katara a look that gives her goosebumps.
Katara might just have overheard something she should not have.
The princess refuses to finish her healing session, and Katara does not care.
xXx
Katara thought she had enough after Azula, and how the princess used her apparent offense about Zuko as an excuse to make every moment of Katara's clean-up pure torture. Katara thought that the worst of her day was over.
That was before Ty Lee was assigned to bring Katara back to her cage for the night after the healing session. Katara takes deep breaths and keeps her head held up high. Hama taught her better than to show any weakness to her enemies.
But Katara still has soreness between her legs, anger towards everyone.
"Here's your food," Ty Lee says very sweetly, but everything about her feels like plastic. Ty Lee gently hands Katara her meal with a warm grin.
Katara expects Ty Lee to knock it onto the floor of the kennel, or for her to take some other brand of cruel action. But Ty Lee waits until Katara has the food fully in her grasp, and then slowly pulls away, still smiling as if Katara were a houseguest and not a housepet.
"I hope you enjoy your stay. We're really happy to have you," Ty Lee says cheerily and Katara detects something less than joyous in her tone. "If you need anything I'm totally happy to help you. Just call!"
Ty Lee grins for a few moments longer and Katara frowns. "Oh, stop making that face! You're so much prettier when you're not looking all gross like that. And the negativity is seriously sapping at me and my aura and my energy. You have the best deal!"
Katara does not know what to say to that crazy assertion.
"Night." Katara leaves it at that as she moves back further into the shadows of her cage.
"Stay away from Azula."
That does not sound happy or welcoming at all.
That sounds like yet another complication in Katara's new life.
Ty Lee is gone.
xXx
"Ugh," Mai sighs, rolling her eyes. "Ty Lee is usually the opposite of bitchy. No, I mean, she's a bitch and obnoxious but in the way of someone who is just too happy and loves everyone."
"She doesn't seem to love me," Katara corrects snippily. Not that she wants Ty Lee to love her, of course.
Mai has brought Katara her breakfast, and sits in front of the kennel with her legs open slightly. Katara finds it horridly distasteful, for Mai to be showing herself like that, as if mocking her new guest. But Katara eats as she waits for better answers about what she asked.
"What does Ty Lee mean by 'Stay away from Azula'?" That question kept Katara awake even more than how cramped and uncomfortable her new sleeping arrangements are.
"No. Because Ty Lee is jealous. Ty Lee has an obsession with feeling needed, and Azula has needed Ty Lee to take care of her for a really long time," Mai lists carelessly, beginning to sharpen two of her old knives she found the other day. "Ty Lee feels threatened by you putting her out of business with Azula or whatever. She'll get over it and maybe be your best friend one day, whether you like it or not."
Mai makes a sound that Katara thinks is laughing, but she is not sure.
"Do you not like her?" Katara asks and Mai does not shrug or sigh. Huh.
"Ty Lee is a lot of things to me, and less than half of them are bad," Mai states coldly, but Katara thinks she catches a hint of fondness. Maybe they do love each other; maybe they aren't just coexisting toys in the princess's harem. "Ozai asked me to do something with you."
Katara's eyes flash wide before she can remember to control them. "And I bet you're going to do it and it's going to be so fun."
Mai rolls her eyes. "I don't care. He said the past week you've been behaving well."
Then Mai seems almost uncomfortable. Katara is fascinated by that transition; each hint of emotion or humanity she sees in Mai is more interesting than any characteristic of her other owners. Katara cannot help but constantly wonder what made Mai who she is. Because she seems to be somebody different underneath her emotionless mask.
"And so...?" Katara cocks an eyebrow.
Mai shrugs again and twists her ankle around a few times, her bare toe gliding over the comfortable surface of the icy stone floor.
"And so he said to give you..." Mai thinks the words are gross and stupid and she does not want to say them, but they actually work when she is walking towards Katara. "Fifteen minutes of unsupervised playtime."
Nope. They sound just as awful and gross and corny as they did in Mai's head, and she wishes she had not said them. But she is already sliding onto Katara's lap; this part she rather enjoys, but the way she does not show it makes Katara feel nervous.
"That's disgusting," Katara snaps because no, no, no is she letting this happen to her again.
Mai kisses Katara on the lips without further boring discussion of how immoral Katara's owners are. Most slaves don't talk like that and Mai does not know if she finds it hot or annoying. Both. Definitely both.
She presses her hips slightly more tightly against Katara's and the slave makes an involuntary mewling sound, and more, because Mai knows what she is doing and she finds it a little bit less than boring. Less boring than watching paint dry or watching the slave and listening to occasional self righteous comments.
Mai says nothing.
Katara detaches and ignores that it feels good for those fifteen minutes.
Mai had good timing. She stops caring the instant those fifteen minutes are up and Katara is left baffled, wondering if Mai has the respect for Ozai to have done that, or if Mai actually wanted to.
Katara does not feel as violated as she feared.
Mai did not offer more than some touching and kissing that could be forgotten save for the lingering panging between Katara's thighs.
xXx
Katara cries silently that night in her cage when she hears the girls go to bed.
She does not understand why she had felt so curious before Azula and Mai hurt her.
She does not understand why she felt good things when Mai caressed the inside of her thighs.
Mai hurt you, you idiot! Katara screams mentally at herself again and again. This sex is a fucking joke! It's not sex! It's rape and you should kill them for it, not just sit there acting confused!
She does not understand why that passionate loathing does not help.
Because when she goes to sleep, she has sex dreams so often that she wants to scream.
That is how they want to break her, isn't it?
xXx
Azula has plans. And they are ones she thinks will entertain her to no end. She always likes to spark as many little spats between Mai and Ty Lee as she possibly can. And Azula knows that the two of them have been making out and that Ty Lee has been more honest with Mai than Azula.
It is time for Azula to make sure that they fight against each other but long insatiably for the princess. Azula also has had the most delicious of ideas. Katara takes such... pride in standing up to degradation and abuse with this sickening dignity that a slave does not deserve.
Azula has to admit that fascinates her. But Azula knows that if she shows Katara kindness, it will put her so many steps closer to fully breaking her new toy. That excites her.
Azula hates her illness and hates that she has to have healers. However, this attempt of her father's... Azula thinks she can make quite a fun game out of. And being brutal is not very fun. Azula very well knows from Katara's moments of sympathy that Katara is very easy to confuse.
And so, "Slave girl," Azula purrs as she toys with the padlock on Katara's kennel.
Katara glances up, and then tries to go back to sleep.
"Slaaave girl," Azula purrs again, lightly rattling the lock.
Katara ignores her again.
"You ought to behave better than that, slave girl," Azula mocks and Katara buries her face in her blankets. "Really, you do have a mouth on you... and I don't think a tongue is an important thing while waterbending."
Katara clenches her jaw and tries to hide the nauseated shiver she feels when she thinks about that disgusting idea.
"Slaaaaave girl," Azula repeats and Katara finally sits up. "Good. I'm making you a very kind offer. Come sleep in my bed. It will be oh so wonderful."
Azula's smirk leads Katara to believe that it will not at all be oh so wonderful.
"Fine," Katara hisses, and she knows just why she is agreeing.
Because she wants to be in the bed of these horrid stuck up bitches and she wants to see the expression of Azula's wives when Azula brings her new pet to bed.
Katara decides at this moment that she will destroy those three at all costs. And the best way to ruin them? Through each other.
Azula smirks. "Good, slave girl."
xXx
The bedroom is strange to Katara. It looks like the master bedroom of any couple, Katara supposes, save for the fact that Azula has two wives and not one. It has mementos, books, clothes. Pink outfits that must be Ty Lee's are stacked on the make-up strewn vanity table.
Katara can see little bits of all three girls reflected in the room, and she makes mental note to use as much time as she has in here to learn more about the enemy she is dead set on destroying.
Azula smirks as she gestures to the bed.
Katara stares, waiting for some kind of cruel act, bondage, abuse.
But Azula just gestures. Katara walks slowly to the bed, her skin prickling and her mind sharp and alert. Azula would not do this without ulterior motive, and that motive could so easily be violent.
But Azula just whispers as she half straddles Katara, "I've always wanted to try three."
Katara breathes in.
Katara breathes out.
xXx
In the morning, Ty Lee wakes and can smell Azula, Azula the most beautiful thing in the world. Azula is beautiful and perfect and everything Ty Lee has ever wanted. Ty Lee can feel Azula's arms around her and it makes her toes curl despite the lack of sex itself.
And then she opens her eyes and sees the slave. A slave in bed with them, and not out of some kinky and fucked up sexual adventure. No, this is the girl who is, despite being blunt and so, so, so far from sweet and attractive, is somehow alluring to Ty Lee's wives.
Ty Lee loves her wives and she refuses to lose them to a slave. Slowly, Ty Lee gets up as she sees Azula's knuckles lightly resting on the slave's hip. Ty Lee frowns, angry at herself for being angry at Katara. It isn't right to be jealous and it is so bad for Ty Lee's aura; she can feel the pink turning into poison. But who wouldn't be afraid and upset about this?
Katara accidentally hurt Azula last night during their sex. She did. She made a popping sound with one of Azula's bones and Azula did not even bite her or claw at her. Ty Lee feels an anger inside of her that is ruining her good vibes.
Slowly, Ty Lee leaves the bedroom, pulls on a casual kimono and goes to lounge around the living quarters as she usually does.
Ten or twenty minutes later, Mai has woken up and walks into the common area of their living quarters and sees Ty Lee.
Ty Lee looks awful, particularly for someone who takes such meticulous care of her appearance. It does not take much effort to figure out why Ty Lee has been awake all night without glancing in a mirror or nodding off once. Because being jealous about Mai and Katara was one thing; Azula and Katara is another altogether.
"Why do you look pissed?" Mai asks flatly, glancing around for the tea Ty Lee is drinking. Mai could use caffeine.
"I'm not pissed," Ty Lee chirps blithely but Mai does not believe it.
"Why aren't you pissed? You look pissed. I would be too if I actually was worried about our marriage." Mai shrugs, remembering how upset Ty Lee was about Mai spending extra time with Katara. "She's a slave. Azula has control issues and wants to feel strong."
Ty Lee pouts. "I'm not jealous anymore."
Mai would call Ty Lee out on how obvious of a lie that is, but she honestly does not care.
"So...?" Mai asks dryly.
"I am so far from pissed. I am super happy! I've decided I'm going to have a baby," Ty Lee states with a huge grin. She does not look cute, as usual; her lack of sleep makes her look like a complete maniac.
"That's..." Mai does not know what to say, but she does not want to be chi-blocked or make Ty Lee cry again. "That's a great idea."
"I'm glad you think so!" Ty Lee chirps.
And she is gone.
Mai gazes after her and wishes she had asked where Ty Lee had gotten that tea.
Oh, and maybe told her that having a baby was not going to solve her jealousy issues.
xXx
The morning is blissful for more reason than one. Firstly, she did very well in executing her exact plans with Katara. When she touched her, which Azula will admit she wanted to do, Katara was at such a visible war between pleasure and rage.
That was power.
That was a drug to Azula.
Ty Lee is more jealous than Azula has ever made her before, which is a delightful rush.
Oh, and this morning father has finally allowed Azula to be able to train, since she has few bruises and her dreadful examination revealed that her bones were under less stress than usual.
Azula is more eager for her training than Katara has ever been.
Her father removed it from her for weeks and she had never struggled to suppress her rage as much as she did at that moment. She has surpassed her masters as if she has been training for a thousand years and not a few months off and on again and she can feel powerful.
Much more powerful than exerting her control over Mai and Ty Lee, or over her slave. When she is firebending she is the most powerful being that has ever existed, stronger than the strongest dragon, brighter than the brightest sun. And she can forget the illness that she cannot stop watching consume her moment by moment, breath by breath.
She steps backwards and takes a deep breath, inhaling the vibrant rays of sun. Her eyes closed, she hesitates for a moment and feels time freeze around her, and then she moves forward, thoughtlessly moving into the first form and refusing to stop even for a breath.
The balance and clarity of the lighting around her, dancing on her fingertips, is the most intoxicating sensation that the world offers. She can feel the desire swelling within her and then that need cooling as the brisk morning wind presses against her skin.
Katara watches from afar, lingering as she gazes at the insane bursts of cerulean glitter that burn everything and nothing. The lightning of a storm at sea. She is allowed out right now, feeling like a pet in the midst of being trained and certain that is the intention.
Azula last night was... strange, and Katara struggles to comprehend what happened. The three girls were not brutal; it was not some kind of sexual torture for kicks. However, their inclusion of Katara in what must be their marital sex is a psychological torture that Katara can identify but cannot avoid feeling.
Now, however, as she watches the princess practice she is overwhelmed by the beauty of each step. Azula is fire; she is an unstoppable hurricane and Katara can forget the snarling at her when she leaned against Azula's fragile bones.
It is the most glamorous sight Katara has ever seen; the color, the life, the raw and unadulterated power. Azula's absent expression has more meaning and personality in it than any other look Katara has seen on her face.
Katara is still staring with a slightly slack jaw when she notices the nervously sweating tutor. He clearly seems concerned by Azula, but Katara cannot imagine the princess doing anything wrong. That love for her bending is one that Katara knows, and the similarity to she and Hama makes her skin tingle.
"Princess," interjects the tutor, "slow down. Take ten minutes."
She doesn't.
She doesn't want to.
She tumbles and cracks.
xXx
After Azula fell like a shooting star that collided with the Earth and lost its splendor, Katara has been assigned to heal her, of course. Katara cannot believe how much she wants to agree with Ozai about how Azula should have been more careful, as he had ranted and ranted when she had to be carried in. That, of course, is largely because Katara knows that if Azula dies, Katara will die with her.
And the healing is not what Katara would call fun.
But, on the other hand, Katara can understand.
Katara can remember the sheer joy that learning how to bend was for her. Being captured and sold as a little girl was one of the most horrible things that can happen to a person. But when she was bought by Hama and got to learn waterbending, it made up for that.
It felt amazing, and Katara could see that love. Azula had love in her eyes when she saw her fire and lightning; Katara did not think Azula would ever look at something or someone in that way.
But Katara says none of her thoughts because she does not want Azula to think that Katara harbors any compassion or forgiveness.
Throughout the healing session, Azula glares at Katara and the slave tries to ignore it.
Katara summons the water on her fingertips and begins to heal where Azula hurt herself worst, but the princess bats Katara's hand away and stands up. She is not supposed to do that, but Katara just leans back. She does not want to play along with this.
"Do you want me to heal you or not?" Katara breathes huffily, glancing at the bowl of water before looking up at the princess.
Azula walks towards the window, her teeth clenched and her expression wickedly venomous. Katara leans into the shadows of Azula's overly regal bed and tries to avoid suffering from Azula's rage. She is obviously angry about something, and it is not Katara's fault.
"No. No I don't," Azula snaps and Katara's eyes flash wide. Azula... her voice has emotion in it, even though the slave thinks the princess does not notice. "No, I don't, because this is pointless and I am so tired of it. I am so tired of my father being so selfish and greedy that he would do anything to keep me alive against my own will."
Princess Azula is trying to hold back her wave of emotions, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes, but, for once, she cannot.
"I'm pretty sure you want to live," Katara snaps, forgetting her plans to avoid more than one or two words exchanged with her captors.
Azula spins around, her hair whipping through the air. "How dare you presume to know anything about me! You have no idea how nice it is to live your plush little slave life! Every single day I feel myself gradually disappearing and all I want is the dignity to be done with this permanently! You have no idea what it is like and you have no idea how much I despise you because of him!"
Katara watches, rapt and confused, as the sobs break free and Azula seems to forget herself and her reputation. Azula slides down the wall and crumbles, hiding her hysterics by concealing her face with her knees. She shakes and it looks sickening with how pale and skeletal she is.
"Every day I am putting all of my energy into taking another breath when I was supposed to be Fire Lord! I am a deity trapped in the fucking weak body of some sickly peasant! I am a goddess with more power than anyone could ever imagine!" Azula's shrieks are as powerful as that beast, as that woman who can so easily control everyone in her life, that girl who has mastered lightning but is dying before she can do anything with it.
The princess slowly sinks further onto the cold stone floor until she lies there limply, sobbing and sobbing and sobbing like she cannot in front of anyone who is not a meaningless slave.
Katara has no words.
She does not think Azula would want to hear them anyway.