Now that Harry knew about McLaggen's threat, every time Harry saw him he scowled at the guy. Luckily, in his mind, McLaggen was probably thinking that Harry was throwing him dirty looks because he hit him on the head during the match. The idiot hadn't even bothered to come and apologized-probably too embarrassed.
Harry was in a foul mood over the next couple of days and Ginny supposed it was because of what she had told him. He was quiet and moody-but that was fairly normal. It was more his lack of anything to say to her that was upsetting Ginny. The fact that he couldn't talk to her about his lessons with Dumbledore seemed to give them little to talk about. She was always in the library now with Neville, and Harry was off doing whatever he was doing. It's like she was just succumbing to being okay with the fact that she couldn't actually speak to her boyfriend about things that mattered and she hated it.
On a Thursday evening, when Ginny and Neville were walking back from the library, he interrupted her thoughtful silence, "Can I ask you something?" She nodded and he smiled nervously, "I was wondering if you and Harry are still together?" She jumped slightly at the question, "Is it that obvious that we're not talking?" He nodded and she sighed, "I don't know Nev. He's having these…er…lessons with Dumbledore, which Dumbledore asked me not to ask Harry about and so I've done just that. Now…it sort of feels like because I'm restricted from asking him about that, there's not much left to talk about. We're both busy getting on with our lives and we don't really have time for each other right now. And when I do see him, it's like he just doesn't want to talk anyway because…" she had said too much so she bit her tongue. Neville frowned, "Because?" She sighed, "Because McLaggen threatened me before the match." Neville raised his eyebrows, "You mean…sexually?!" She nodded and shrugged, "I took care of it though. He was just doing that to try and take Ron's place on the team. I told Harry about it and asked him not do anything. Now he's been cold-shouldering me, as if it's my fault!" Ginny sighed in exasperation.
Neville frowned, "Well, I see why Harry's been…off. But how come you don't have anything to talk about? That's the part that I find weird." She sighed, "I know. I find it weird too. I love him, and yet I can't think of a single thing to say about him." They reached the portrait hole and Neville shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe it's good to have time out from each other. All couples need it at some point in their life." Ginny frowned at that statement, "Are you and Hannah having a break?" Neville nodded, "Yeah. She's also been really upset about something lately and I can't figure out what it is. We don't even need to tell each other, we just know." Ginny nodded, "It could be the case. We've been together since the beginning of the year. And we've been friends for a lot longer than that. Maybe I should just leave him alone. I pretty much do that all the time anyway." Neville nodded, "It could be good for the both of you."
They had sat down in front of the fire and Ginny felt her eyes drooping shut. She was positively exhausted.
When she woke up, it was with a start. She hadn't even realized she'd fallen asleep! She sat up abruptly and found her head on Harry's shoulder. She rubbed her eyes and murmured, "Harry…why'd you poke me?" Harry's voice came from further away though and it was icy as anything she'd ever heard before in her life, "Ginny…" he said strained. She opened her eyes properly and jumped when she saw who she'd fallen asleep on…Neville.
Ginny's heart pounded as she looked up and saw Harry standing in front of her, a pained expression on his face. She jumped up immediately and she caught his hand as he headed up the staircase. The room was empty but when they had gotten here, it had several people in it who might have seen her asleep on Neville's shoulder. She pulled onto his hand and said desperately, "Harry! It was nothing! Nothing!" He couldn't even look at her as he pulled his arm away from her and headed up the stairs. She couldn't believe she had been so careless! Ginny didn't even glance back at Neville, except to get her bag. She rushed up the stairs to her own room, and cried her heart out for the rest of the night.
She didn't go to breakfast the following morning. She didn't have an appetite after all the crying she'd done. Her eyes were puffy and she felt like they were swollen. She didn't want people to see her like this, so instead she covered her face in base which took her extra long to get ready. The look on his face when he had seen her head on Neville's shoulder cut through her like an icy knife. Like she'd ever cheat on Harry! And she could see from his expression that he genuinely thought she had! Maybe it was McLaggen's threat that made him believe it. She didn't know and she didn't want to know. She just wanted him to know that it wasn't the case. But the thought of seeing Harry also made her feel sick to her stomach, so for now she would avoid him.
It took her so long to get ready that she was actually late for potions, which really impressed Snape and made him deduct ten points from Gryffindor. Luckily, they weren't doing practical lessons today, so she could just pretend to be listening and taking down notes, when in reality she could hardly think straight. She wondered what her brother would say when Harry told her how he'd discovered Ginny last night. Probably something along the lines of, "Too popular for her own good." Hermione…maybe Hermione could convince Harry that she'd never do such a thing? Maybe…
Ginny's mind drifted and she didn't hear a single word Snape said. She was thankful when double potions was over, because next she had Divination and she could easily drift in that too. She didn't speak to anyone, although when she got to class, Julia and Rebecca were sitting a table over from her. Julia leant in and whispered, "So…I heard Potter's finally broken up with you? I'm surprised it lasted it that long. I guess Romilda can have him now…?" Ginny sat tight lipped and didn't answer. She felt like she wanted to hurl.
During lunch, instead of going to the Great Hall to eat, she was in the library. She was sitting crouched behind a bookshelf in the far back where no-one could see her when she heard her name, "Ginny?" Hermione asked quietly. Ginny glanced up. Hermione said in a shocked tone, "Ginny! Wha…You look awful." She shrugged her shoulders, "Thanks for the understatement of the century." Hermione sighed and shook her head, pulling Ginny to her feet before she said firmly, "Gin…Harry doesn't believe it." Ginny shook her head forcefully and snapped, "Of course he does! First McLaggen and now…he just thinks I'm too much of an effort to be around now I suppose. Hermione…you didn't see his face." She scrunched up her own, unable to get the picture out of her head.
Hermione sighed and shook her head, "He was tired. So were you. No doubt that's why you fell asleep and he overreacted…as usual. But I've spoken to him and he's outside and he wants to speak to you." Ginny shook her head, "No, Hermione I don't…" Hermione didn't listen and went outside the library. She waited for Harry and he came in seconds later, looking so guilty…like he had killed someone. He glanced up at her and he froze when he saw the state she was in. Even her make-up couldn't hide the pain on her face, because her expressions easily gave it away. She realized, way too late, that wearing make-up just made everything that much worse, because it wasn't her. She didn't wear make-up unless she had to and Harry knew that. He shook his head and said worriedly, "Gin?" She didn't want to talk to him. She just wanted to run. "Gin?"
Finally, she glanced up at him and he ran the rest of the way to her, "Gin?" he said, his voice pained, "Please…uh explain to me what happened?" She was staring at him blankly and she shrugged, "I fell asleep…on Neville's shoulder." She couldn't help it when her face twisted in pain because it had been a mistake…an innocent mistake and she hadn't meant for it to happen. She hadn't meant for any of it. It wasn't like they had kissed or anything! She only wanted to be his friend. Harry whispered roughly, "Do…do you have feelings for Neville?" She shook her head before she could stop herself, "No!" was her immediate answer. But she couldn't help but wonder, 'What if she did?' She couldn't shrug the feeling that he still had feelings for her. It explained his willingness to hang around her so much, even though he liked Hannah.
It was all so confusing that her head started spinning. She found the bookshelves blurring into one around her and she staggered backwards. She hadn't wanted to think about this ever! Harry was the one! She had always known it. He had saved her brother's life, and he had saved her life and her father's life. He was part of the family and she loved him. Then why wasn't it working out…? This was her last thought as she found her eyes closing and a loud bang as she crashed to the floor.
Ginny woke up in the hospital wing. She blinked furiously as the light hit her eyes and she groaned, moving her face to be smothered in her pillow. She heard Madame Pomfrey's voice tittering around her and glanced up. She found Hermione staring at her worriedly, as well as her brother. She knew that Harry must be behind her. She groaned, "What happened?" Hermione said nervously, "You, uh, fell in the library. Fainted, actually." Ron nodded, his lips pierced and he was staring at her with an unreadable expression. Maybe Harry wasn't there. He hadn't said anything yet.
She turned slowly, only to discover that her initial instinct was right. He was there. Then it all came swarming back…Harry asking her about Neville. He wasn't even looking at her. He was staring at the floor, in absolute silence. Ginny turned to face Ron and Hermione again, "Why did I faint?" she asked. Ron glanced nervously at Hermione and Hermione answered, "Because you didn't eat breakfast. Honestly, Gin, don't know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?!" Ginny rolled her eyes and asked, "So, how long do I have to be here?" Ron said promptly, "When you eat a decent meal, then you can leave." Ginny rolled her eyes, "I don't have time for this! I've got to get back to class. It's not like I never eat!" Hermione whispered, "But Madame Pomfrey thinks you haven't been eating enough. She thinks you're losing too much weight because of the O.W.L's and that if you are eating, it's not enough for your body."
Ginny frowned and thought about it. She had lost a bit of her appetite, but she hadn't thought it was enough to make her faint. Hermione added, "She also thinks it's the…emotional stress and lack of food in your body combined that caused you to faint. You've been out for two hours." Ginny grimaced and flopped back in the bed with a huff, "Fine. I'll eat quickly and then get back to class!" Ron shook his head, "You've been booked off class for the rest of the day in order to recuperate, and Madame Pomfrey said no studying today."
Madame Pomfrey flitted back in the room again with a tray laden of food. Ginny made a face-there was far too much. Today's lunch was lasagna, with salad. She felt somewhat ill at the thought of eating so much food. Hermione smiled smugly, "We're not leaving until you eat most of it! Then you can go." Ginny had never felt so forced to eat something before in her life. There was a glass of water on the tray, which she swallowed in several gulps. Ron smiled, "Madame Pomfrey said it was also due to dehydration that you fainted."
Ginny grimaced, "Can I have another glass please?" He nodded and fetched her one as she added, "You guys don't have to stay. I'm sure Professor McGonagall isn't chuffed that you're missing class for this!" Harry still hadn't said a word before then, but now he said angrily, "For goodness sake, Gin, just eat the food already! Stop making such a fuss!" She couldn't believe he was angry with her! He had never been angry with her...except for last night. She quickly began shoveling the food in her mouth. It was delicious, and she hadn't even realized how hungry she had been.
When she had finished, Madame Pomfrey said, "Miss Weasley, I want you to eat every meal for the rest of the week, whether or not you have time for it, alright? If you keep this up, you won't be writing your O.W.L's this year, and I know they are merely five weeks away, so I'm sure you don't want that." Ginny shook her head, "No Madame Pomfrey. Thank you for everything!" Madame Pomfrey nodded and dismissed her.
Ron and Hermione chatted amiably on the way back to the common room. Ginny said nothing, and neither did Harry. She wasn't sure what to say to him. Was he still angry about last night? She wasn't sure if she should ask…
However, when they reached the common room, Ron and Hermione went inside, and Harry grabbed her hand, "Gin, we need to talk." She bit her lip, but nodded all the same. She let him pull her aside and he inhaled deeply, "Gin, I'm sorry for how I reacted. I…" Ginny shook her head and interrupted him, "There's no reason for you to be sorry, Harry. I'm the one who should be sorry. I was careless and I didn't think. I suppose I also wasn't looking after myself very well, which didn't help but it's not an excuse." Harry nodded and said quietly, "You really scared me earlier. I wasn't sure what was happening." She sighed and shook her head, "I'm sorry. I was callous about everything. I don't know what overcame me. I just want this year to end." Harry nodded in agreement, "Me too," he said and then he said tentatively, "So…do you have feelings for Neville?"
Ginny shook her head slowly, "We're good friends Harry, and I hope you're okay with that. I don't complain about how you're good friends with Hermione. I hope it won't be a problem in the future." Harry shook his head too, "I…uh…no it shouldn't be. It just took me by surprise. I didn't expect you to be that close." Ginny stared at him and shrugged, "Alright. But please don't get possessive over me. I really can't stand it." Harry nodded silently and they walked into the common room.
They sat down in a quiet corner next at a table that seated two and Ginny shook her head and said quietly, "How could we let something so small mess us up so much?" Harry was silent. She back tracked quickly, "I'm not saying it's your fault! It's both of our faults. It's my fault for not taking care of myself and for being too busy to make time for you." Harry nodded grimly and reached out to hold her hand, "It's my fault for not making enough of an effort with you either. And for letting everything McLaggen said get to me. You know what's really been upsetting me?" She frowned and shook her head as he grimaced and sighed, "The fact that if for some reason I'm not here some day, I can't protect you from other guys. It's so difficult not to think about that or worry about it. It's constantly on my mind." Ginny felt her heartstrings tug in her chest and she smiled slightly, "Harry, you know you're the only one for me, don't you? Even though it's killing me not knowing what you're discussing with Dumbledore, I'm still putting up with it, for our sake. I wouldn't do that for many people. And I don't want something as silly as me falling asleep on Neville's shoulder drive us apart again." He grinned for the first time in weeks and he squeezed hand, "Thank you, for being the best girlfriend in the world! I will try not let my jealousy get the better of me, I swear. It was really hard when you were with Cedric, so I'm determined not to lose you for some silly reason." She blushed and rolled her eyes to hide it, "You don't mean that." He laughed, "Of course I do."
The rest of the evening they spoke about his apparition exam. Hermione and Ron had theirs scheduled for this coming weekend. Harry's was in a few weeks. He told her how Ron had already left a piece of himself behind. For the moment, it seemed like everything would be fine between them and she intended to make that moment last forever.
Author's Note: Oh my word it's been so long and it feels so good to have finally finished a chapter! It took me a while to figure out what to write, in between all of my teaching. The main reason I haven't written is because being around 27 young children every day is exhausting, then once I've come home and planned lessons I'm asleep by 9.30pm which is my usual sort of writing time! Anyway, I'm loving my teaching and I'm so grateful for all of you who have stuck around and been patient! I know this is long overdue but I hope this makes up for it! I know this may seem really uncharacteristic of Ginny in terms of not looking after herself, but I'm finding when I'm on the go twenty four seven I forget to eat (not badly) but it's not good for you either, so I thought I would show how badly Ginny's stress about O.W.L's is affecting her. I also thought it would be a good way to get her and Harry talking again, because no matter what, they will always pull through. He will always be concerned about her. I love that about Harry (sometimes too concerned but concerned nonetheless!)
Anyway I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know what you think! Thanks so much again to everyone for sticking around! You guys are superstars! Please let me know your thoughts and any suggestions would be appreciated!