A/N: Summer has officially started for me and hopefully that means MUCH quicker updates. At least until band camp starts up in July. ((A day before my birthday fun fun fun)). So anyway, I'm sorry for setting priorities, but now that I've passed all my classes with As and school is out, the mind is free to wander once again! ;D
Thanks so much for your patience, everyone!
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"Today's the day."
Today's the day. It sounded like something an excited parent would say on their kid's first day in training. Today's the day that you grow up a little bit more! Today's the day you get to go out and broaden your horizons! Today's the day you have a lot of fun! Today's the day you've been waiting for your whole life! Be excited! Be happy! Be overjoyed! Because today is the day!
That wasn't anything like today was. Today was dark and gloomy, clouds as far as the eye could possibly see. Today was dreadful both in the sense of weather and morale. Today was nerve-wracking. Today could very well be the day to end the rest of them, if Hiccup was going to be painfully obvious. So maybe the whole exciting announcement could be put on hold; it didn't exactly set up the correct mood for it all.
Leafdapple didn't seem to realize the reason behind his not answering, looking out over the water with a large grin. At her side, Shadowclaw seemed to share a little bit of her excitement; though he could see a tad more of the dangerous side to their situation, he would never go so far as to object to such a declaration. The male would never rain on Leafdaple's parade - he would always lend a wing if shelter was needed. That much was certain.
But on Hiccup's other side, Nightflight gave a small snort, sharing the Viking's thoughts and voicing them as well. The female's eyes had been closed and her wings tucked into her sides ever since she had first taken a seat beside the human earlier this morning. She hadn't been out with him the whole time - Hiccup had woken up ages ago. She had arrived probably one hour before now, sitting down and just…falling silent. Listening. Thinking. What Hiccup had been doing. And he was glad, too. He wanted the silence for now; he craved it. And it was nice to just sit with someone who knew what it was like, or how it was going to be. They both knew that this would be hard and difficult, maybe more so than any of the others. So they didn't even speak a word about it, neither of them had need to.
"That's an odd way to think about things." Nightflight noted, speaking for the first time aloud as she turned in the others' directions. Leafdapple twisted, not looking the slightest bit surprised at the tone of voice that the female seemed to be using. The younger's tail gave a lash, but to her credit, she didn't offer retaliation. She was smart enough not to do such a thing, at least. Then, as if sensing the impatience on her, Nightflight gave a small shrug. "Just saying. You make it sound like it'll be easy and fun."
"Well it doesn't have to be hard and painful." Leafdapple sighed with a shake of the head. "At least, not really. It all depends on the way you look at it; and so far you guys aren't really helping the situation." Hiccup and Nightflight both turned to stare her way, Hiccup sitting down with his knees pulled up to his chest. Neither of them spoke and after a moment or two Leafdapple ducked her head, seeming to realize that she might have been too harsh. "Sorry." She said reluctantly. "I wasn't thinking. That was….a little stupid to say."
Silence fell between them, and this time it wasn't as satisfying a quiet. It was stiff and awkward, and Hiccup was almost glad when Shadowclaw interrupted it. "So when are we going to go?" He asked, steering the conversation onto a different track in hopes that it would curb any potential grudges or fights. Thor knew they didn't need any more of those. The sun wasn't up yet; it was a little too early for that. And with the fact that Berk wasn't too far off - maybe a few hours away - the option was one that would be up to someone like Hiccup.
The teenager sighed. "Whenever I think we're ready." He said a little reluctantly. His green eyes flickered up to the sky, eyeing the clouds hanging overhead. "I was going to wait until nighttime, but I guess with these clouds in the sky, we'll be covered either way; enough to stay hidden, at least." He added. "The other dragons want to leave as soon as they can, I know that." The boy paused, pursing his lips with a frown. "…I guess we can start waking them up. Get everyone together and have them eat and get ready before leaving. That could take a while."
Nightflight perked her ears at the last sentence. The way he had said: 'That could take a while' almost made it sound as if he was hoping for it to. Which she couldn't blame him if that were the case, actually. She would be lying if she didn't wish for the same outcome. Yet it was just as awkward for her to be here, among all of the other dragons that she had led before so stupidly. All in all, she would go wherever required. There wasn't really an option that was better than the latter to her.
Hiccup sighed, putting his hands down on the ground and pushing up with a small wince. He hoisted himself up to his feet, making a face as his joints ached from sitting still so long. Turning, he was about to double back to the group, when he was suddenly distracted as Shadowclaw and Leafdapple stood as well. He turned, green eyes going up and down quickly as he sized up Shadowclaw, the nearest one to him, with a rather shocked look.
Shadowclaw stiffened with surprise at the sudden change of mood, backing up a little as he offered Hiccup his own weirded-out expression. "What?" He asked, wide-eyed as Hiccup continued to look at him oddly. Nightflight's eyes perked where she sat, but she didn't turn their way; there would have been no point, really. But Leafdapple was their audience all by herself, watching as she backed up a pace or two as well, mirroring Shadowclaw's features.
Shadowclaw was….tall. When had he gotten so tall? Hiccup remembered back when he had been able to pick Shadowclaw up and carry him wherever he wished. And now, standing up fully, Hiccup just now realized that fact that had slipped his attention so far. He was short. Shadowclaw easily towered over him. The Viking came up to only his chin, much like he did with Toothless. It didn't seem possible. It didn't seem possible that Hiccup had been blind to this fact for so long, and that the actual thing was just too much to take in. Why it was too much to take in was obvious to Hiccup's frayed nerves. But by the looks that the other dragons had, it wasn't so much for them.
"…Y-You're so tall…" Hiccup managed after a second of stunned silence.
Shadowclaw looked down at himself, still confused as his wings gave awkward trembles at his sides. "Yeah. I guess I am." He said slowly, still trying to make sense of the situation. "Maybe not as tall as Toothless is though. Why? What's wrong with that?"
"…I'm so short." Hiccup mumbled, not paying much attention to what he was saying.
"You're not that short." Leafdapple protested sweetly. "You're average height."
Nightflight tried her hand at joking. "You look tall enough to me." She added on, attempting to be helpful. But Hiccup didn't even react to her speaking, and the other two dragons were obviously too busy with the odd interaction, for they didn't acknowledge verbally to her comment. They were probably too busy staring at the human as if he were a piece of fruit. So Nightflight just sighed and flicked her ears dismissively. She wouldn't be trying to lighten things up anymore, if this was the thanks she got for it.
"Hiccup, what're you doing?" Shadowclaw pressed, eyeing him like someone would a dog that wouldn't stop barking, or a child talking complete gibberish relentlessly. "You're not making any sense." The dragon felt a small hint of foreboding as he took in the bags under Hiccup's eyes, and the exhausted way that he was standing, as if he could keel over at any second. Was this getting too much for him? Was he started to unhinge? It certainly appeared that way to him.
But as the fear crossed over Shadowclaw's mind, Hiccup was already shaking his head. Intelligence was flooding back into his emerald depths, and he took in a deep breath, releasing it in a slow whoosh. "Sorry." He said, grinning a little aimlessly as he shook his head. The three dragons were all ears, and he turned beet red as he continued to move his head back and forth. "I just didn't realize-" He broke off, struggling to convey what had floored him so much. "It's just that you're making me feel a little short." He said finally, his explanation a little lame. Okay, a lot lame.
"What's wrong with being short?" Leafdapple asked innocently.
"Nothing, nothing." Hiccup sighed. "It's just…I feel a little…insignificant, I guess."
Nightflight glanced over at this now, interested. Shadowclaw grinned. "Being short doesn't mean you're insignificant. I was only as big as Ludi when I got to Berk on my own all those years ago. And I was only a little bit taller when I got the rest of the Pack to come to Berk's aid during that last Raid. Don't you remember?" Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest, nodding a little bit now. "And Ludi is smaller than a boulder and she gave Nightflight a real what-for." Nightflight flicked an ear at this, not exactly thrilled with the memory. "In fact, Ludi's done a lot of stuff for a fluffball." Shadowclaw recounted. "And you're a lot taller than her."
"Thanks for noticing that I'm taller than a cat." Hiccup said sarcastically.
Shadowclaw shrugged. "Just thought it might help a little bit." He tried.
Hiccup turned, not wanting to brush off Shadowclaw after the attempt at encouragement. "I know." He said, offering him a small smile. "Thank you, Shadowclaw." Then he paused, clearing his throat and hoping that he wouldn't seem too obvious as he asked: "Could you go and wake everyone up? Tell them that it's time to start getting ready?" Then, for fear of being rejected or pushed even more, he added: "It would help things a lot. Or - it would help me, at least."
Though the need was a real one, and the favor would be appreciated, the plea came more from the fact that Hiccup was missing the silence that he had had with Nightflight previously. He wanted that back for a while, if only for a few more minutes or so. Pretty soon the others would get up and then there would be no chance at all for silence. He'd been listening with half an ear to Shadowclaw and Leafdapple's conversations. And while they were uplifting and entertaining at any other point in the day….now it was really more of an inconvenience than anything.
Shadowclaw grinned, seeming relived at the fact that Hiccup seemed to have snapped out of his odd worrying. "Sure thing, Hiccup." He chirped. And, as expected, he turned and beckoned Leafdapple, who leapt up to her feet at the summon, perking with a pleased expression at being signaled. The pair turned and headed back off the shoreline, heading back to where there was more shelter. That was where the rest of the Pack had chosen to sleep, where they wouldn't get as wet with the dreary weather. There had been some complaining at the bitter winds and rain, but Hiccup had quelled the whining with a simple fact: they would have to get used to this if they wanted to stay at Berk.
Hiccup watched the two Night Furies go, giving a mental sigh of relief as he turned and sat back down beside Nightflight. He leaned back with a small huff, closing his eyes and entertaining the possibility of a few more minutes of sleep before everything picked up. He was certainly tired enough. The silence was back, and he smiled softly to himself, relishing in the quiet. Which was why he almost wailed aloud when Nightflight broke it. "Insignificant, huh?" The female mused where she sat.
He opened his eyes with a small sigh, ducking his head a little bit and hoping that Nightflight would realize he wasn't in the mood to hold a conversation. But she didn't. She just waited expectantly for a response from the teenager. So he relented politely, clearing his throat with a reluctant nod. "Uh…yeah. It was weird." He tried to brush it off. "It's not like it was important or anything. I'm just tired. I wasn't thinking when I spoke." He said this dismissively, under the impression that Nightflight would let the topic go. Tragically, he was incorrect.
"No, I think you're always thinking." Nightflight remarked casually. There go his hopes. Hiccup opened his mouth to say something, maybe to shoot down her objections and quell the situation entirely. But Nightflight spoke up before he could get the chance, voice a little thoughtful as she narrowed her ruined eyes slowly. "Hiccup, do you remember back when we were rivals?" She asked suddenly, voice a little soft. The boy turned, eyes flashing as he frowned, looking over her way as he bit back whatever he was planning to say.
"You tried many times to get Toothless to remember who he was and what was going on, didn't you?" She remembered, prompting Hiccup to do the same, even though he really didn't want to. He tried not to make a habit out of dwelling on the past. Especially that past. Though such a mindset was getting harder and harder to uphold these days it seemed. But still. Out of everything had happened before, Hiccup would rather not go back to the cold look Toothless had in his eyes when he had looked his way. Or the scars he still bore from Toothless' claws. Or the way he had felt all alone day after day in Berk.
"Yes." He said instead, albeit tightly. He hoped she had a point with this.
"You tried reasoning. You tried reminding. You tried persuasion. You even tried begging. All to get Toothless to remember. Isn't that right?" She asked. Hiccup nodded glumly. Then, realizing that she couldn't see the gesture, he gave a low mumble of affirmation. "But nothing worked, because he left anyway." Nightflight went on once she proved each point. "You tried even harder when you came back to the cave in search for him. But still. Nothing." She flicked an ear invitingly. "So what did change his mind? What did make him remember?" She sounded like a teacher or a mother, waiting patiently for the younger to come to their own conclusions through their own reasoning. But it was quite obvious that there was a certain answer she was expecting.
"…the handprint." Hiccup had to think a moment before remembering. His memory got a little muddled around that point - for obvious reasons. "That handprint that I left on his tail fin. I made another one over it and it…it…must have done something." He said a little fuzzily, not sure exactly what he was grasping at and yet saying it all the more. Nightflight seemed to apply some sort of logical importance to it. But, again, he would have rather gotten off the topic completely. "But I wasn't even thinking of it when I did it, I regretted putting that stupid thing on the tail in the first place. I didn't know what it would make happen. It was-"
"Insignificant?" Nightflight inturrupted suddenly, voice breaking into his sentence and yet completing it all the same.
Hiccup froze, blinking as he glanced over at her silently, connecting the bring-up to the past onto what she had originally wanted to get across. He'd never looked back to the events that happened previously, really reflected on them. As soon as Toothless had returned, however false the belief turned out to be later, Hiccup was set on living his life as if nothing had happened. He hadn't considered what he had done. What he had made happen. But such a…tiny little thing. Against his wishes, the corners of his mouth turned up into a small, yet twisted, smile.
The silence seemed to be all the confirmation that Nightflight needed. The Night Fury sighed, grinning herself as she got up to her feet and stretched out the stiffness in her joints. "Things may seem small and unimportant at first, Hiccup. They might even appear to be entirely unworthy of any consideration at all. But those are the things that have the most potential - the most capability to do the greatest things." She paused, taking in a small breath before going on. "So don't consider yourself small. Don't consider any sort of thing small. Because you'll just be proven wrong in the future."
The boy twisted his head, watching as Nightflight offered a dip of the head before walking back the way Shadowclaw and Leafdapple had gone. She didn't say anything else, not even offering out a goodbye. He supposed there would have been no purpose to doing so. He gave another sigh, his third or forth in the past hour as he looked back over the ocean, studied the fragments of moon on the waves. He let Nightflight's advice rest over his mind, feeling as if it were important. That she intended to try and make him understand something with her speech.
He wasn't small. He wasn't insignificant. Hiccup had gotten this far in his efforts. He had pulled through a lot. He'd travelled far. Despite the tragedies and the heartaches throughout the entire thing, he had managed to stay strong and to keep trying, braving whatever weather was sent to him as best he could. He wasn't small or unimportant, it had just been the confusion and shock of the moment, as well as the troubling day ahead, that had set his nerves grating against themselves. Leafdapple had known this when she had tried to comfort him sweetly. And Nightflight had obviously known this fact as well, otherwise she would have allowed the silence to return rather than breaking it like the water broke up the light of the moon.
So what had she meant?
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It was silent. Dead silent. Even the younglings were quelled, only communicating with looks crossed haphazardly in between fright and excitement. The parents on the other hand, betrayed their cold fronts with the twitching of their tails, or the nervous way that they struck down their wings. Amber and her mother were close together; Thor knew that the female would be more high-strung, considering her youngling seemed so prone to accidents. The only noise was the small whooshing of wings against air, and even that came with a sense of trepidation. Those who weren't frightened feigned it, for they were few against the large number of the groups. And they were not about to speak out against such a large, jittering mass.
The day had started out with comfort, of course. It always did. Comfort and sweet nothings were offered as breakfast, and as the group took up their flying positions, they had listened to the melody of encouragement and promises that never seemed to reach an ending. Such a thing was required. Such a thing was needed. This everlasting melody. For Thor knew what would happen if it ever did draw a close. What could happen? Their luck could be changed, for those superstitious few who mumbled words under their breath too quiet to make out. For the suspicious, it was needed to keep the others in line. To make sure that none would back out or revolt suddenly against the whole thing. Which was a very real and prominent fear to most.
But they remained together, a force brought together at first with reluctant worry and awkwardness at changing sides after such long and brutal persuasion. And now that they were tighter and more enforced together, they were ready to stick it out until the end. Others offered solace to those they hadn't really met properly before, and before they had taken off, new ties were drawn among some. For it was certainly the last time that they would be able to properly speak or introduce themselves. Nightflight had even managed to become friends - she claimed 'acquaintance' when Mistyeyes had confronted her about it - with Clearsky, a rather unlikely match considering he was so gentle and lighthearted most of the time.
As Nightflight crossed the female's mind, she turned and looked back towards her worriedly. Without Astrid to steer the dragon the correct way, there was never a moment when she didn't fret over her tailspinning out of control or becoming too lost to follow the others. But Nightflight was getting better and better at leading herself, though she was obviously keeping close to Mistyeyes for assistance. Clearsky hadn't stayed by her like Mistyeyes had secretly hoped - he had left to fly alongside others he'd known longer. Though it didn't make a difference with the way that the Pack was taking to silence, Mistyeyes couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She'd seen the pair talking and had taken it as a sign that maybe things wouldn't so bad. That they would get better, as things happening to Nightflight had the chance to as well.
Berk was close. Hiccup had announced this early in the morning, along with the plans that he'd had in mind for the Pack to follow. Splitting up. It wasn't the smartest choice looking at it at first, and it certainly wasn't the most preferred option in the eyes of the other dragons. But they had to choose it for the sole fact that it was their only option. Going in all together as a whole would send red flags of hostility, and cause the hyperactive Vikings to immediately assume attack or worse. Much like their central group had done when first approaching the cave and the dragons inside; they were to go in with caution.
Hiccup would take a group and be with Toothless, who was rendered flightless if the boy were to be separated from him. They were to be the closest of the groups to the actual village. Leafdapple and Shadowclaw were in charge of another, and they would head towards the back of the island, on the other side near the shore. Though Mistyeyes, ever the worrisome one, persuaded Talon privately to help the pair of younger ones with handling things. She knew that the couple was more than capable of looking at a dangerous situation and figuring out something to do. But the thought of anything going awry and she had pulled her father to the side and ask for assistance. The danger was just too great from her vantage point. She wouldn't be losing any friends during this. She refused to.
Which left her and Nightflight in charge of the last third of the Pack, taking them near Raven's Point, near the middle of the island. Hiccup had tried to space them out so that they would have adequate enough hiding places; the fire from the Raids had destroyed much of the forest around the village, so that was naturally the one that Hiccup and Toothless would take. Mistyeyes had no other instruction other than to keep the dragons safe. And that was the most frightening part of it all, she thought worriedly, her blue eyes downcast as she kept a part of the flying herd heading for the island.
Hiccup had gathered the leaders of groups respectively, green eyes shadowed and settled with their grim determination that had seemed to become another part of the boy. And when he spoke, his voice was level and set, leaving absolutely no room for argument even before he got the first sentence out. "Listen." He had said, glancing back at the Pack as they had started to get ready for their final flight. "No matter what happens. No matter what you hear. No matter what you see. And no matter what you do. Do not move from your spot. And do not run for Berk."
Mistyeyes had immediately snatched apart her jaws to object loudly. But Hiccup quieted her with a firm glare before she could do anything. "This isn't open for discussion, and it isn't open to objections either. You're in charge of them," He pointed over the crowd behind them, who had yet to notice that the others had slipped away. "and that means you're thinking about them, not anyone else. And especially not me." Mistyeyes had chills at that last part, stiffening openly. "So you see any danger at all, and you run. Fly away to this island and don't leave anyone in your group behind. I'll come back to you if anything happens, and so will the others. Hm?" He'd taken in a deep and measured breath, giving a reluctant nod of the head. "Whatever you do…don't move from your hiding places. Let Toothless and me handle things."
They had wanted to do so much more. They had wanted Nightflight to try and get the humans to understand her. But the dragon had been trying and trying the best that she could. And it was always a fruitless effort, a wasted attempt. And after the failed attempt with Astrid, Hiccup had slowly started to come around, and finally realized that anything concerning spells or things out of their reach wasn't worth trying. Not when such a huge burden was on their shoulders as it was now. They'd no margin for error in this. Nightflight had visually relaxed when Hiccup had said this, but Toothless seemed disgruntled. No…maybe not disgruntled. Maybe…confused and disappointed would have been better terms. The Night Fury had just stared over at Nightflight with a furrowed sort of look, thoughtful and odd at the same time. He hadn't said anything, but the look had caused Mistyeyes confusion as she looked suspiciously at the male.
Nevertheless, those were their regulations. Those were their guidelines and their rules. And it had been made clear that there were to be no betraying such things. And when Mistyeyes had become so bold as to ask what the fate of Astrid was, Hiccup had merely turned and left without pausing to answer. The female had wondered if he even heard her with the way that he turned away so quickly. She had debated going after him and ripping the question from the boy, no matter how painful the situation for him was. She was Astrid's friend as well - just as the others were. They all deserved to know what was to become of her. But pity and sentiment won out against her, and Mistyeyes had just turned and walked the other way.
Which led them to now. Berk a rapidly-approaching smudge with heavy storm clouds shadowing them on all sides. Toothless and Hiccup could be heard talking up ahead, fretting and groaning over the storm coming their way. It was a whole lot of complaining, for nobody could coax the universe to give them better tidings. So it was just meaningless comments such as 'This is just what we need.' or 'Geez, this just keeps getting easier and easier.' Though Mistyeyes was never one for no objections, she could agree that the black clouds overhead did not give off a good feeling.
They were to land in the back of Berk. On the shore, where a jutting cliff over the beach would hide Shadowclaw and Leafdapple's group. That way they didn't need to focus up above, just on the water in case there was a ship rounding the edge of the island. Which was entirely possible, Hiccup had added. They would pause there for a moment, to gather themselves. Dealing with the younglings was the hardest part of it all, especially for the fact that they had to split up in between the thirds. They couldn't leave all of the younglings with one central party, even though the thought of them all safely tucked away underneath the cliff face was more preferable than anything. But it was all water they had to tread. There was no sense in regretting something that couldn't be helped. Toothless and Hiccup could take some of the stronger ones, Mistyeyes and Nightflight taking the younger alongside Shadowclaw and Leafdapple. And then the adults would be peppered evenly throughout, to provide ample security. If they needed it. Which hopefully they didn't.
Gradually the talking ceased between Hiccup and Toothless, the only ones who had been doing so out of the group. They angled themselves as if they were one dragon, row by row swooping down towards the island and its beach - their landing point. The place was barren-looking. Or at least it looked that way to Mistyeyes. It seemed much more lowly….almost tired as she straightened on the sand, blinking as she looked around. Others clustered around her, Nightflight stepping up to stand anxiously beside the dragoness's shoulder.
Hiccup slipped off of Toothless, Astrid doing the same as she hit the sand with a small thud. And while Hiccup made sure that everyone was accounted for and their were no stragglers, Astrid turned in slow circles, drinking in the scenery around her with a wrinkled forehead that betrayed deep thought. She looked at it with eyes of a stranger, head tilted to the side as if to say: 'This is my home?' In her arms, she cradled Ludi, the cat purring contentedly in her embrace. Hiccup's eyes strayed over and caught themselves on the pair, the cat and the girl, and his heart did its customary rip as it always seemed to do. Only this time it was for a much more seated purpose. The regret that existed there was real now.
"Alright." Hiccup's voice came out in a small whisper, even though there were no signs of any Vikings near them. Habit, he supposed. But he shook himself, moving on as he saw all eyes go over to him. "It'll be fine. Everything will be okay." More sweet nothings. More exaggerated comforts and soft assurances. Though it didn't seem to occur to him that, unconsciously or not, he had chosen the best fighters to go along with him and Toothless to be closet to the village. "We'll manage to mold you guys in with Berk and everything will work out. It might be hard to do and it might take a while but you all have your designated leaders and group." Mistyeyes, Toothless, Shadowclaw, Leafdapple, and Nightflight all sat up a bit straighter at this. "So just stay with them and follow what they say. Nothing will go wrong that way." His words were almost drowned out at a suddenly loud clap of thunder. Amber wailed loudly with surprise, but her mother reacted quickly by clamping her tail over the little one's mouth.
"Everyone find your leader that you were given." Hiccup added, glancing up at the cliff with a hint of nervousness, as if he were afraid it would crumble down onto them. "From now on everyone has to be quiet. Absolutely quiet, even in your hiding places. We can't do anything too rashly, so it'll be easier to go slow and keep on the down low until then." The others nodded, taking the advice to heart as they sent along their thanks with fervent looks to the boy. Hiccup replied with a just-as-silent nod, taking a small step backwards to join Toothless, who had been sitting behind him.
They split up. Too scared to speak and too dependent to do anything other than what they were told. Which, in a time of crisis, was perfectly understandable. The leaders of each group offered smiles to the nervous clumps, understanding their frightened looks and trying to curb the emotion with positive looks. It helped some, certainly more than if they had remained straight-faced or tight-lipped. Hiccup watched the rest go, welcoming his own with a little nod himself. But he wasn't ready to embark yet. He had something left to do. Something painful.
Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy turned, eyes seeking out the blonde hair and blue eyes he could find by heart. In a crowd of millions. Blindfolded. And when he saw her standing a ways away silently, he immediately veered over to meet her. "Astrid." He called out, weaving through the dragons in order to reach her and Ludi, who was still content in her arms. The blonde turned, a flash of surprise going through her blue eyes at the sight and call of Hiccup. It was more than obvious she was surprised at his speaking to her first. Usually she could hardly get a word out of him, much less have him talk to her first.
"Astrid, I have to talk to you." Hiccup said once he got close enough, stopping a few inches away from her. The blonde quirked an eyebrow, a silent prompt for him to go on. She didn't reply audibly, but the interest in her eyes was enough motivation for him to keep going. Though he knew that what he had to do would end up killing him one way or another. "I need you to go back to Berk." He said flatly. "Now. With Ludi." He added, eyes flashing down to the cat curled up into her shirt. The animal perked at her name out of habit, ears flickering wildly as she turned and looked at Hiccup with adoring eyes. He responded by locking his jaw back in hurt, looking back up at Astrid.
She took a moment to reply. "…I am going back to Berk." She said suspiciously, confused as her brows furrowed.
But Hiccup was already shaking his head. "Now." He repeated, more forcefully than before. "It's straight through the forest, and with half of it charred away, you'll be able to find it quickly." Astrid's face fell at this, widening into a sort of terror as she realized what he was asking her to do. Sensing her fright and possible betrayal, he went on quickly before she could give off any outbursts she might regret. And that he would certainly regret. "I have no idea what's going to happen from here on out, Astrid. And I've put you in enough danger." The pain in his eyes, raw and real, caused the girl to close her mouth shut. "I would be able to live with myself if anything else happened to you that I couldn't fix."
She took her time replying, caught off-guard by the amount of agony that seemed to be in the boy's voice and face. "I can take care of myself." She tried to object. But Hiccup only stared at her with the oddly-strained face, the clenching hands and the heart that you could almost see breaking. Again, she was swept aside with confusion. Who was this boy with the dragons, who could go so quickly from hating her to caring so much about her? She was silent for several moments, blank eyes searching pained ones. And when she spoke again, it was to ask a curt question. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to go straight back to the Village. There aren't many twists and turns to get there, it's just on the other side of the island. Walk far enough in any direction and you'll be able to either see it or you'll already be there." Hiccup said, fighting the urge to gag on his own words. "You'll get there and it'll probably be guarded." She stiffened like a board at this. "But you just tell them exactly what you know."
Another pause. Then: "What do I know?"
"Nothing." Hiccup answered, looking at her steadily now. "Tell them you hit your head and now you don't remember anything but your name. Tell them that you have no idea what's going on and that you need help. They won't be mad at you, Astrid, I promise they won't." With the way he said this, Astrid wondered whether or not he was trying to convince her or himself. "Just tell them that you woke up near the beach underneath the village and you don't remember a thing. Just….just promise me that you won't tell them where anything is. Where we are."
"They might go out looking for you if they see me, won't they?" She asked in puzzlement.
"But they'll also be preoccupied with you. That'll give us enough time to go out and find our hiding spots." Hiccup said. "And it'll make sure that you'll be fine. And that I have enough time for everything happen. This is just the best way for you to do things. Please believe me." He paused, staring at her sadly. "And please take care of Ludi." He said, pointing at the cat she held tight to herself. By now the animal was growing restless, reaching over and pawing at Hiccup's tunic as a signal that it wanted over into his arms instead. But he just reached up to shoo away the gesture without looking down at her. "She means a lot to me. And no matter what happens, I want the pair of you safe. And together."
Astrid looked down at the cat, processing it all. Hiccup's heart had long since fallen down to his feet at this point. He wondered whether or not the blonde remembered the way that she had threatened to steal away Ludi, wanting nothing more than to take her away and have her live at her own home instead of just visiting during the days without Toothless. He wondered if she remembered how happy the cat had used to make her. How happy Hiccup had used to make her. Could Hiccup even remember that anymore. "Please." He added, voice rasping against his throat as he felt it swell at what he was being forced to do.
She didn't answer. She didn't need to, really. Of course she would take the cat. Instead, she turned and looked at him oddly, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes a bit. "Am I going to see you again?" She asked. An innocent enough question, for she had no idea the weight of the situation at hand. She had no idea what Berk was like or what the people were capable of. Hiccup seemed to paint them as welcoming and caring considering they would try and help her when she came. But it was obvious that he expected no such treatment for himself and the other dragons.
Hiccup searched her face, trying to remember every detail. The small hair on her head that she always complained about, how it never seemed to listen to her no matter what she did because of the way it stuck out awkwardly. He'd never noticed it but she never stopped ranting over it. The scar right above her lip from where she'd accidentally sliced herself with a knife when she was little trying to play 'Battle.' The freckle on her hand that had caused her to ask Hiccup repeatedly what caused freckles to pop up because according to her they never stopped popping up on her skin, when he could barely see the one in question.
Am I going to see you again?
Before he could stop himself and before he could allow himself a small chance to think rationally, Hiccup grabbed Astrid's arm, tugging her forward. Astrid yelped quickly, but the sound of surprise was cut off as Hiccup pressed his lips against her's tightly. In one last kiss. It held a sense of urgency, sadness, and frustration all at the same time. And Astrid went completely still as soon as his lips mashed against hers. Mistyeyes caught sight of them from where she stood with her own group, looking up and heart stilling with a small beat of hope as she straightened. She prodded Nightflight, murmuring out something low against the blind dragon's ear. She perked as well, blinking rapidly. But she didn't look as elated as the gray dragon did.
Hiccup pulled back after a few long and yet short seconds. His green eyes were no less burdened, and his face was no less written with pain even after the kiss. Astrid's cheeks flushed over with bright red, the girl rigid as her mouth fell halfway open. Her blue eyes were more confused than anything, and surprisingly there was a small shininess to them, as if there were tears glistening there in her blue depths. She reached up with her free hand to press against her lips, and Hiccup tried to remember how to stand upright as she whispered brokenly. "I need to know who you are."
He shook his head, just as shattered. "I don't know how to do that." He murmured.
She was silent, her question obviously residing in her eyes. Am I going to see you again?
Hiccup closed his eyes, feeling a sharp burning in his own eyes as he whispered under his breath, inaudible and yet loud enough for the entire clearing to hear if they were looking over his way. "I love you, Astrid Hofferson. Please don't forget that. Please…." He lifted his head, opening his eyes again and staring at her desperately, not saying anything else until he got an answer. And he got his in the form of a small and shaking nod. She opened her mouth, as if to say something else. But he cut her off, voice louder now. "Please." He repeated. "You need to leave now."
The girl backed up, keeping her stricken eyes trained onto Hiccup's own. Her mouth still halfway open. As if she were ready to say anything and yet unprepared for what might spill out. Hiccup wasn't screaming at the world mentally. He wasn't asking what he could do to bring back her memory if a kiss wasn't enough, if his love wasn't enough. He was just counting the many things and the many ways he would miss her. Miss Astrid. As if he were already dead and knew that he wouldn't make it back to her. Maybe there was a chance. That things would be okay and he could focus on getting back her mind once things were perfect and okay. But the thought didn't cross his mind. He just thought it over and over in his mind as he watched the girl turn on her heel shakily, jogging away.
I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to miss you.
(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)
The clearing was empty as she staggered into it. It was barren. Bleak. She walked the paved sidewalks, eyes hollow and empty as she stared forward blankly. She didn't even look at the buildings around her. At the home that she had been looking forward to returning to for so long. She didn't look down at the animal in her arms, that she could claim as her's until Hiccup would come back to retrieve it. If he came back to retrieve it. Hiccup….Hiccup. The name that elicited so many different emotion inside of her that swelled like a cloud in her knotted stomach. One that couldn't be pushed aside by any amount of wind.
Hiccup….confusion.
There were shouts of alarm. Footsteps and doors opening as people suddenly rushed into the clearing. There were shocked gasps, Astrid hearing her name called loudly in the night along with sharp yells of surprise and puzzlement. The girl stared ahead, not even seeing the people that seemed to know her, seemed to revel in the sight of her. "Astrid!" They called. "She's back!? What is she doing? How did she get back? Are the others back too? Are the Night Furies here? Should we go back inside?"
Hiccup…happiness.
A man grabbed her tightly, pulling her close to his chest and yelling aloud that his daughter was okay. That she was safe. And a woman rushed forward, sobbing with clear relief and thanking Thor for her safe return. "My daughter!" The woman crooned, overjoyed as she beamed down at her. "You came back! You've returned! I was so worried! Please don't ever do that again!" She didn't reply, blinking fuzzily and looking around just as awkwardly, as if she wasn't the center of attention. As if she was a spectator out of her body. Just watching. She just held close the thing in her arms, not speaking as she remained silent.
Hiccup….sadness.
A man suddenly pushed his way forward, through the crowd, which hushed at the sudden arrival. Astrid blinked rapidly, looking up and taking in the presence as she stiffened. And her sense of newfound fear caused her to rouse ever so slightly from her stupor. But the man didn't notice her reaction. Or if he noticed it he didn't care. "Astrid." He sad tensely, knowing her name. "Where are the others? Where is Hiccup? Where are the Night Furies?"
She opened her mouth reluctantly to answer, her…father…still holding her close and scowling at the tall bearded man as he asked his intrusive questions. Then another came forward, a dark-haired, burly man whom she didn't recognize of course. "Stoick, may I remind you that the island-"
"Keep out of this Spitelout!" Stoick roared in response, cutting him off.
Astrid spoke up once the clearing had settled back into attentive silence.
Hiccup…admiration.
"I-I-I don't remember anything." She rasped, almost unable to be heard. Her parents stiffened, the others shifted with confusion and disbelief. But the raw emotionless state of the girl was enough to sway them it seemed, for she was still remote and rather sickly-looking to them. "I had an accident….I woke up in the beach underneath the village." She went on, the words barely being able to be kept in mind in her state. Her knees were weak. She could hardly stand. All she could do was hold onto Ludi. Her sudden lifeline. "I need…help." She rasped. "I don't remember anything."
The others fixed her with different looks. Some suspicious, some sympathetic, some worried. Her father said something about taking her to the Elder. The man named Stoick was still staring at her oddly. Her mother was still crying. Ludi was still her arms. And Astrid was still staring through everyone and everything as if they weren't even there. And when her father helped her to walk, she didn't even pay mind to where she was going.
Hiccup….love?
(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)
A/N: So I will try and keep a goal of updating at least once a week until Band Camp! Reviews will certainly help to keep me motivated, and we're certainly down to the nitty-gritty of this series by now, probably around next chapter~!
Tell me how you liked it! It felt good to type again! :D