TWELVE

Ben Cartwright was waiting on his son to finish dressing. As Joe pulled on the formal charcoal-gray cutaway sack coat he had purchased for today's event, Ben took the opportunity to wander over to his son's cherry wood dresser. A warm winter light was streaming in the window. It struck the set of photos Joe had propped there, turning their silver frames to gold. The first was of his mother; ever, always, and forever the young Marie he had met in New Orleans and brought home to be his bride.

The second was of Hoss.

Ben sucked in emotion that threatened to choke him.

This day, in every way, was bittersweet.

The older man felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay, Pa?" Joe asked, his tone soft and understanding.

Ben sniffed and wiped one eye. Then he nodded. "I just wish your brother could be here."

Joe moved past him to pick up the image of Hoss. It was one from a year or two before his middle son died so tragically. The big man had on his dress suit with satin vest and was holding a bowler hat. Hoss was grinning from ear to ear. At first it had surprised him when, out of all the ferrotypes they had, Joe had chosen this one to remember his middle brother by. The reason, of course, was the curly-headed man, also in his Sunday best, standing beside his giant of a brother, fighting to contain his laughter.

The portrait wasn't just a likeness of Hoss, it was the picture of all the two brothers had been.

Joe stared at the photo a moment and then returned it to its spot. When he turned to look at him, there were tears in his boy's eyes. Not unshed like his, but streaming down his cheeks.

"I saw him, Pa," Joe said quietly.

Ben blinked. The statement made no sense. Of course, Joe had seen his brother nearly every day until he'd passed. And, of course, he could not have seen him recently.

"I don't understand what you mean, Joseph. When did you see your brother?"

Joe turned to look out the window. It had snowed the night before, just enough to coat the barren trees and brown grass so they glistened. Luckily, it had not been enough to keep their guests away. Ben waited as his son fought for words. When he spoke Joe didn't turn, but continued to gaze at the crisp blue sky.

"I saw Hoss the day Abel Ramsey shot me and took Bella," he said, his voice hushed with the memory. "The day of the fire."

That horrible day.

It hadn't been quite a month since then. In some ways, the events of that day felt as present as if they had happened yesterday. He could have lost them both.

Almost lost them both.

"You saw your brother that day? You mean in a dream?" Joe had been very ill. He had lain unconscious for some time and had probably been delirious.

Joe turned to look at him. "I'm not sure, Pa, but I think I really saw him. I was laying half in and half out of that creek, soaking to the skin, so cold and so tired I just couldn't go on. Ramsey had Bella." Joe's jaw tightened still at the thought. "I knew he'd kill her and that he might...before..."

He touched his son's arm. "Joseph, there's no need to rehash this today of all days."

"But there is, Pa!" Joe sucked in air and quieted his voice. "There is. I was laying there and all of a sudden, Hoss was there too. He was looking down at me." Joe glanced out the window again. "The forest was bright with a golden light and he was right in the middle of it." His son's lips curled with amusement as he turned back. "Hoss told me I'd become too much like Adam for my own good."

They'd hoped Adam could make it today. He'd sent his best wishes, but unfortunately the ship he had booked passage on had run aground on its way to England. A package had arrived from him the day before addressed to Joe and Bella. Everyone was guessing what it might contain.

Ben took a moment, trying to understand what his son was telling him. "You spoke to Hoss?"

"Just like I'm talkin' to you, Pa. He told me to stop lookin' back and start lookin' forward, and to remember who I was."

The older man's lips curled a bit at that. "And who are you?"

Joe laughed this time. "I think the words 'orneriest little cuss' were a part of the description."

Ben's hand fell to his son's shoulder. For a moment they just stood there, saying nothing.

"I think Hoss is here today, Pa," Joe said softly at last. "I just...feel he is."

The older man drew in a breath and then he nodded.

He felt it too.

A second later there was a rap at the door. "Joe, you better hurry up," a strong male voice called. "You take any more time makin' yourself pretty and I'm gonna use it to run off with that little gal you're marryin'."

Joe placed a hand over his and held it there a moment before heading for the door. When it opened, it revealed Candy Canaday standing outside. The brown-haired man was just about as 'gussied-up' as he had ever seen him. Candy had a brown sack-coat on with darker brown Callahan dress trousers. His unruly curls had been tamed by a healthy dose of pomade. Ben's eyes flicked to his son. Joseph's hair was down to his collar. His curls were natural and about as wild as a day in the Hebrides.

The older man sighed.

On his wedding day, he chose to look like a riverboat gambler.

"You can have her," Joe said with a wink as Candy stepped into the room. "I'm warning you though. If you do, life as you know it is over. You think I'm willful and mulish!"

"Joseph!"

His son laughed. "It's okay, Pa. Those are the words Bella used to describe herself when she told me what I was gettin' myself into."

It was so good to see his son smiling and laughing again. The last year had been a journey from purgatory to his own private hell for the youngest of his original three. All of that sorrow and pain seemed buried at last. Joe would never forget Hoss or Alice, nor completely dismiss the evil William Tanner had done him, but he was alive and he had chosen to live and to move on. He and Bella had initiated a little ceremony of their own the night before. They had come to the upstairs hall and hung a likeness of Joe and Alice near the end of it by the window – right next to one of Bella and Michael Ashton. The love and loss they had known had made them the people they were today and they had chosen to honor that rather than to ignore it.

He'd watched them as they came back down the staircase and went to sit before the fire. And then he had left them alone.

That word 'alone' returned the smile to the older man's lips. Being 'alone' in the Ponderosa ranch house right now was quite a chore. The house was filled to the rafters with family. The week before the Carnabys had arrived – Levi, Mary, Sophie, and Jack. Benjamin, of course, had been with them already. Little Ben, as they called him, and Jamie had grown thick as thieves and there were times he wondered if Jamie might not move out of the house and in with Bella's family. Rafe Ashton remained as well. The young man had undergone quite a change and was interested in learning all he could about the mining and timber industry so he could expand the family business to the frontier. It seemed that, once he decided to leave the pampered life of the city behind, Rafe found what he had been looking for – a chance to make a place and a name for himself. The older man chuckled. He had nearly split his pants laughing the day before when Rafe and Candy had ridden into the yard. The once elegant man from the city was wearing chaps and had been covered from head to foot in dirt and muck. Where before the scent of Rafe's expensive cologne had arrived at least a minute before him, now he had the distinct smell of 'odour de horse'.

Rafe had tried his hand at busting a bronco.

It seemed that wonders didn't ever cease.

Ben's eyes returned to his son, Joseph, who stood trading jibes with his friend as Candy straightened his string tie. If someone had told him six months before that he would see his son happy, content, and at peace, he wouldn't have believed them.

God was good.

"We're heading down, Pa. You coming?" Joe asked.

"In a minute. I have to see your bride."

Joseph cocked his head and grinned. "You're not thinkin' of running off with her?"

Ben dismissed his son with a wave of his hand. The only place he was going to take that girl was to the great room where their guests and the preacher were waiting.

As he stepped into the hall, Ben turned back to look into his son, Joseph's, room. The light outside the window was dazzling and it filled the area just beyond the bed. He could almost make out a shape in it. A large broad form. Or so it seemed before it vanished.

The older man smiled as he closed the door behind him.

"Thank you, son."

"Will you keep still?" her mother pleaded, not for the first time. "Veils don't pin themselves in place, you know!"

Bella drew a breath, tightened her muscles, and tried to hold still.

And failed.

As she continued to wiggle, Bella apologized. "I'm sorry, Ma. I just can't hold still! I'm, well, all excited and thrilled and kind of scared and sort of...terrified...and...everything all at once."

The older woman looked at her over her spectacles. She pulled two hairpins from her lips and sighed. "It's called being in love."

Bella's blue eyes narrowed. "But you're in love and you aren't all scared and nervous and...well...crazy all the time!"

Ma's eyes sparkled. "Who says I'm not?"

Bella's hair was a pile of pinned curls. Her brother Jack had brought her a set of gold-edged ivory combs back from the city, and her Ma had used them to pull up the sides of her hair and trap most of her spiraling curls. A few had escaped and a few she had arranged in soft tendrils that framed her face. Sophie had worked paper flowers and pearls into them. The little veil that would fall down the back was the last thing to go on and, so far, it just didn't want to.

Go on, that was.

Her sister Sophie made a huffing noise and crossed over to where they stood. She'd been fussing with her own hair, trying to make herself 'gorgeous' and 'dazzling' as she said, so that Rafe Ashton would notice her. Sophie didn't need to worry. When she'd come into the Cartwright house with the rest of the family with her nose and cheeks all pink from the cold, and her nicely plumped breasts showing over the neckline of the green dress she wore, Rafe had definitely noticed. Sophie had begged their mother and Ma had agreed to let Rafe sit with the family since he had none of his own to be with today.

Sophie, of course, had already claimed the chair beside him.

The Cartwright's great room had been set up for the ceremony, with the groom's family and friends on one side and hers on the other. Hop Sing had helped her choose the decorations and prepare the menu. Since it was almost Christmas, she had wanted holly and berries and ivy and pine greens. The man from China had hung the greens and then dusted them with a fake snow and dripped tinsel from the boughs, transforming the room into a wonderland.

A wonderland in which she was going to become Mrs. Joseph Cartwright!

"Here, let me," Sophie said as she took the veil and pins. Her sister stared at her a moment and then commanded in a stern tone, "Stand still!" Bella blinked and froze. That was all it took for Sophie to swoop in and pin the veil to her head.

"I've just got the touch," her sister smirked as she returned to the mirror and her primping.

"Well," Ma said as she stood back to admire her. "I may be your mother, but I'm telling you the truth when I say I have never seen a more beautiful bride!"

She had chosen a simple two piece gown of cream-colored silk gauze trimmed with silk-embroidered net lace. The sleeves of the bodice were flared and it had a 'V' neck that plunged down to reveal the top of her breasts. The bustle-back underskirt was made of the same fabric and edged with three flounces of lace. The whole ensemble was decorated with tiny satin bows and there was one great big bow above the bustle, which was attached to the belt around her waist.

Her mother took her by the shoulders and turned her around so she could look in the floor-length mirror Mister Ben had moved into her room. Bella took one look at herself and burst into tears.

A second later she was smothered in loving arms.

Bella struggled to keep the tears from falling as she considered all God had given her. Her father was waiting for her downstairs. Though he would never fully recover from the fit of apoplexy he had suffered, her pa was here and he was alive and he was going to give her away! She'd been so happy to see her family. She had missed them so much. Her only sadness was at the thought that they would leave her soon. But she needn't have worried. Unbeknownst to her, Joe's father had been corresponding with hers. Today, as the two older men sat side by side, grinning from ear to ear, Mister Ben told her that he had sold a property he owned in town to her ma and pa and the entire Carnaby Family was moving out Nevada. She'd been so thrilled, she'd thrown her arms around Mister Ben and kissed him. Joe's father had winked at her and told her she had to be sure to give Rafe a kiss too. Michael's brother had been in on it and had signed the Oregon property and the house her folks were currently living in over to them so they had the money for the move.

The Carnabys were coming to Virginia City!

A soft knock on the door made them break apart. As they all wiped away tears, her ma called out, "Yes?"

"It's Ben, Mary. Is Bella ready?"

Mister Ben was going to walk her down the stairs and then turn her over to her pa.

Her mother went to open the door. "Take a look for yourself, Ben," she said as she opened it and stepped back.

The older man moved into the room. He was silent for a moment and then he said, "I don't believe I have ever seen a young woman look more beautiful."

Bella beamed.

"Come, Sophie," her mother said as she headed out the door, "it's time we joined your father and brothers."

Joe's father continued to stare at her. "Elizabeth Carnaby," he said with a smile and a shake of his head. "Oh, how I remember the first time we met."

"Me too. I was eating jam and you were sitting on your horse looking so sad."

"I thought I had lost my son," he said.

Little Joe had gone missing. His pa and brothers had just about given up hope of finding him alive and with good cause. They had almost lost Joe to some evil men who had hurt him and then abandoned him, leaving him in a burning cabin to die. Her parents had rescued Joe and then left him in her care. She'd only been eleven at the time.

She'd known then she was going to marry him one day.

Joe's father came to stand before her and took hold of both her hands. "I have you to thank that I didn't," he said.

She shifted, a little uncomfortable. "It was ma and pa pulled Joe from that burning cabin –"

The older man reached up and cupped her cheek in his big hand. "I'm not talking about the time when you were eleven, or even when you were eighteen and you saved him from Fleet Rowse. Bella, Joseph was as lost as a man could be when you came here a few months back. I know... I know...without you...I would have lost him for good."

She blinked and sniffed, and then burst into tears anew.

"Oh, now, look what I have gone and done." He smiled. "That shows you what I know about women."

She sucked in a small sob. "Mister Ben..."

The older man laughed. "You're going to be my daughter-in-law, Bella, don't you think we can drop the 'mister' now?"

Her lips twisted. She winced.

"Ben..."

At that moment there was a knock on the door.

"Well, Bella," Ben said, "this is it. Are you ready?"

She'd been ready since that night of the full moon when she'd been eleven years old and had leaned over the water and rubbed a posy beneath her chin and seen the face of her true love. She saw it again five minutes later as she descended the stairs and Joe turned to watch her come down. His eyes held the same love, the same joy, and the same desire as hers.

Twenty minutes later they were man and wife.

There had never been such a celebration at the Ponderosa.

Oh, they'd had parties over the years – plenty of them – but this was one that celebrated not only a wedding but a new lease on life for the man who held his beautiful wife in his arms and waltzed her around the dance floor. Candy had tried to cut in a few minutes earlier and they had both flatly refused him. His friend insisted with a wink that as the best man it was his right and then proceeded to warn Joe that he was going to take what was his before the night was over – even if he had to deck him to do so. At the moment their foreman was dancing with one of the many neighbors who had been invited to the wedding. She was a married woman and the pair were having fun teasing her husband by dancing close to where he stood. The man watched them with a look somewhere between amusement and annoyance. Joe looked over his shoulder and spotted his father taking a turn around the floor with Bella's mother. Even Jamie was dancing with one of the girls he had known at school. Rafe Ashton and Sophie Carnaby had been dancing but had disappeared outside.

Big brother Jack and little brother Benjamin were already on their way out the door.

Hop Sing, of course, was king of the kitchen and prince of the Ponderosa, shouting out orders and keeping everything running as smoothly as it possibly could. There were an awful lot of people in the house and the punch was flowing. It was spiked, of course.

Joe had done it himself in honor of his two missing brothers.

After the wedding they'd all gathered to share champagne and cake and what presents had been brought were opened. He saved Adam's for last and was touched to find his brother had sent them a beautiful punch bowl and glasses. In it was a note saying his real present to them was a house. He would design it to their specifications and come home to supervise the building of it. Joe thought about it long and hard, and he hoped Adam wasn't too disappointed, but he'd decided that he and Bella – and any children to come – would live in the ranch house with Pa. He knew he would feel better having Bella in the house with Hop Sing when he was gone and, besides, Pa deserved the happiness of having a house full of boisterous boys again.

Joe grinned. And maybe a girl or two!

And so it was, when the day finally ended and the last glass of champagne had been drained, Joe headed up the stairs to the room they were to share. Pa had bid them goodnight, and then he and Jamie had headed into town. For the next few nights the older man was going to stay at Paul Martin's house. Jamie – willingly – had been farmed out to the Carnabys.

It seemed funny to turn toward a different room. Pa'd insisted they take his as it was the largest upstairs. For near a month now the door to the bedroom had been sealed. His father had opened it just today to show him what had been done. Along with Jamie and Hop Sing, the newly refurbished room was the family's present to the two of them. It was stocked with new furniture, including a large, heavily-carved four poster bed made of walnut, and a copper bath tub. Pa was going to sleep in the downstairs bedroom for now, and Jamie had shifted his room to the end of the hall to give them what privacy the small space could afford. As soon as he had time, he was going to write to Adam to thank him for his present and ask him if he would design a new wing for the ranch house instead. Pa was sure older brother would agree.

Joe stopped with his hand on the latch. He'd carried Bella up the stairs and over the threshold a short time before. He'd kissed her and then turned her over to her mother so the older woman could help her change. Her sister Sophie had been there too. Seemed it tookthree women to get one woman out of her fancy clothes! He'd passed them in the hall a short time before. Bella's ma had touched his arm and smiled at him as she said that she hoped they slept well. Sophie had blushed red.

He'd been kind of surprised when he blushed red as well.

Joe stood just outside the door, thinking. It was near impossible for him to believe it had been almost fifteen years since he and Bella met. She'd been his ornery twin in female form, all pigtails and pluck. Over the years he had watched her grow into a beauty. He chuckled still when he thought of himself at twenty-two, all confused by the fact that the pigtails were gone and the bloom was on the rose. They'd almost made love then. They'd come darn close to it – close enough Pa would have had his hide if he had known! They could have been with each other over the last few weeks. He imagined his pa thought they had been. But something held them back. Oh, they'd necked and had a good time exploring one another's bodies, but they had not yet consummated their love. Both of them, he thought, somehow knew that the moment would be a special thing and it was too precious to rush. Oh, they'd make love plenty of times in the years ahead. Joe grinned. If it was up to him, probably more than once a night. But that first time, well...

It was something neither one of them had expected to ever see.

It was a gift from God.

Smiling, Joe rapped on the door.

Like he needed to.

"Are you ready, Mrs. Cartwright?" he asked.

At Joe's knock Bella drew a breath. She turned quickly and looked in the bureau mirror. Her hair was loose and it fell in a cascade of golden curls to her shoulders. Her elegant wedding gown had been removed and carefully packed away. She was attired now in the fine hand-embroidered muslin chemise she had worn beneath it, her wedding corset, and pantalettes. Her mother had told her to leave the pantalettes and corset on, insisting with a smile that men needed to earn what they got. She'd blushed as her mother said it and was blushing now. For some reason she felt awkward and shy. Though they had caressed and kissed and come close to ecstasy, this would be their first time making love.

Everything that was in her hungered for it.

And yet...

She loved Joe so much and she knew what it was to face losing him. She'd seen him sick; near death before. The future opened suddenly before her with all of its joys and sorrows, triumphs and tragedies – with all of the possible outcomes of a life lived together in an uncertain world.

And she was afraid.

Tears formed in her eyes and fell silently as the door opened in. Joe was still dressed, but only in his trousers and shirt. He'd removed his tie, and the white shirt he had worn had been pulled out of his pants and lay open, revealing his well-muscled chest. She'd found over the last few weeks how strong he had grown and been amazed by the gentle power in his hands. He was no longer the slender, willowy boy she had fallen in love with, but had matured into a potent, powerful man.

Joe closed the doors and walked over to her. He took her hand and simply stood, looking at her for a moment. Finally, he reached out and touched her cheek.

"Tears?" he asked.

She sniffed and nodded.

"Of joy, or of something else?"

Bella's jaw tightened. She wouldn't lie to him. That was no way to begin their marriage.

"I'm afraid."

His green eyes held hers. He didn't dismiss what she said.

"Can you tell me about it?"

She slipped her hands inside his shirt and, with the strength of her fear, held him tightly. Bella laid her head against Joe's smooth chest and sniffed again as his fingers ran through her hair. She thought a moment and then, with a little puff of breath, said, "Life, I guess."

"Oh," he said in that way he had, making it a statement and a question at one time. "You mean 'life' in general, or living it?"

She realized how ridiculous she sounded. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm being silly. Forget –"

His hands caught her face and turned it up toward him. "No. I won't forget it and you're not bein' silly. We've both been through a lot. Most would think it was more than a man or woman could bear."

She held his gaze. "But not you?"

Joe's smile was wistful. "I did once. I thought I'd never take that chance – never love again. But then someone wise told me I was over-thinkin' things."

Bella frowned. "Over-thinking?"

He pulled her close, so her head was against his chest again. "It's today that matters, Bella. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Pa used to say the Good Book told a man to let the days worries be sufficient for the day." He planted a kiss on her hair. "Now, I don't know about you, but I think the man upstairs knows a sight more than you or me."

"So God told you?" she asked, looking up at him.

Joe snorted. "That wasn't the 'man' upstairs I was thinkin' about."

"Joe..."

A finger on her lips stilled her question. The kiss that followed took her breath away. Joe pulled back and looked at her. A smile curled the ends of his mouth as he noticed her corset was still on. Moving behind her, he pressed his lower body into hers as he began – slowly, deliberately – to undo her corset strings. She'd laced it properly, so he had to begin at the bottom. With each cord he loosened, the garment shifted, allowing a little more play. When he was done, Joe ran his hands inside it and pulled out, lengthening the cords and allowing the stiff, multilayered garment to fall to the ground. Her husband took hold of her arms then and backed her toward the window. The moonlight was streaming in and it bathed her figure. Through the thin muslin he could see the curve of her breasts, her waist; the shape of her thighs.

They were all his as she was all his. Come death, come life.

Come love.

Joe reached under her gown and loosened the tie on her pantalettes and let them fall to the polished wood floor, and then he bent down and caught her in his arms and bore her to the bed. Bella lay there on the feather tick breathless, enjoying his enjoyment of her. She ran her fingers through his sabled-silver curls as he lifted her gown above her waist and then reached up and removed his shirt, revealing his tanned skin and tightly-muscled chest with all of those scars she knew and loved.

Then he waited.

Bella frowned, unsure for a moment of what she was to do. Then she realized he was giving her a chance at the pleasure he'd enjoyed.

Curling her form toward his, Bella caught the button of the waistband of Joe's trousers and unbuttoned it, and then moved on to the ones that went down the front. When she'd finished, she ran her hands inside the soft cloth, brushing his hips with her fingers, and pulled his trousers down. When his naked body was revealed, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his powerfully built form. As she did, she felt him shiver. He leaned in, pressing his damp, gleaming body against and into her own. Joe's mouth sought hers and found it even as his hand moved to caress her breasts. She made a little noise and he answered it. Her arms went around his back, her fingers digging into his flesh as she urged him enter her, to take her – to move her beyond this world and to a height she had never known.

Instead, he pulled back.

Bella frowned, startled, all but dismayed. Had she done something wrong?

Was Joe displeased with her?

Then she saw his smile. He kissed her lips as his hand dropped below her waistline. Her husband had known other women, she knew it. Not only Alice, but others like Julia Bulette. He was the handsome young cowboy every woman wanted to possess both body and soul. Now she understood why. He wanted her. His well-developed form was tensed like a spring waiting to be sprung. But he chose to deny himself for the moment.

Though he wanted that pleasure, he wanted her to have pleasure too.

With the fingers of one hand, Joe caressed her in her most private places. The other he used to explore her breasts. His lips sought one breast's center and he kissed her there. Then with a wicked grin, he used his teeth to nip her flesh.

Bella cried out in pleasure. Her back arched and she moaned. Joe touched her face. He kissed her again.

And then he took her.

Body and soul.