9. Sapphire
Some say that forgiveness frees the soul. I beg to differ. The weight of mine weighs heavy on my wings.
Albatross. When was the last time I heard that name spoken aloud? It seems that the only place I hear it now is in my most feverish of dreams. And, on the rare occasion that I explore them, my memories.
I used to push him into the waves.
"No wonder you can't swim! You're not a proper SeaWing!"
Yes, that is what I'd say. Or I would point and sneer as Lagoon said something. It was mean, I admit it. Never cruel, just mean.
Then we would laugh our high princess giggles. Our young voices finely tuned. Our blue eyes glittering - never cruel, just cold.
I remember once, when our teasing went a little too far, he finally broke down and wept. And I felt bad. I really did. I'd never thought of hurting him. I'd never been cruel to him.
Looking back, there are things I should not have done. Mistakes I should not have made. What's the use of crying about that, though? I've mourned myself long enough.
The guards and servants whisper of insanity. I say now that I am not insane, nor have I ever been.
I know full well who I am, and what I lost. Princess Sapphire of the Sea Kingdom. I could have been a queen. I could have ruled the oceans. Instead, I sit here, forgotten, with only this island to call my own. And here is where I will stay.
Never crazy, just sad. Or angry.
Or bitter, perhaps. It has been so long, so many years. One can't sustain anger forever. Eventually it fades.
The tides of time wash it away. Like the footprints left by three royal children, or the shells placed along the beach by a princess with beautiful scales and cold, laughing eyes.
Yes, that is the way of both the ocean and time. The driftwood and the broken hearts will all get swept out eventually.
Do I hate my brother?
At this point in my life, it would do me no good to. I haven't enough time or energy left to really hate someone. But, deep in me, the bitterness remains. There is a residue called grief on my soul. That I will not let go of.
I wonder if he hated me. I was once certain of it. Surely, I thought, he must have truly loathed me to...to do such a thing to me. Now I don't know.
It took a while for the news of the massacre to reach me, but reach me it did. I have outlived my mother, my sister, my cousins, and everyone else who might remember the real Albatross. Here, in my memories, is where he will stay.
Never forgotten, just forgiven.