"What's all this?" Akihito asked as he stepped into Ryuu's bedroom. It was unusual to be pulled into his bedroom so early in their evening but he assumed that had something to why the room looked like it did.

The lights were off in favour of the candles that dotted the room and in the dim light he could see a few items left out on the bed. It was a very romantic feel to the room, especially when he spotted the different coloured roses sitting next to the bed. Gentle instrumental music played quietly in the background and he wondered how much effort the man had gone to preparing this. He approached the bed cautiously and took in the blindfold and leather cuffs laid out. A small box sat closed next to the blindfold and he noticed a tiny chilled bin sitting on the floor.

"Do you remember that discussion we had last week about sensory play?" Ryuu asked as he came up behind him, wrapping his arm around his waist.

Akihito's eyes widened in surprise. "Yeah…"

"We'll take it slow, there is a lot to it. I thought today we would start with the blindfold and play mainly with touch; different temperatures, different sensations on the skin. But we'll touch on a little of the other senses too. I remember what things you mentioned last week and what you would be interested in trying, is there anything else that you have thought of since? Or anything you aren't feeling like today?"

"Uhh…" Akihito trailed off, his thoughts suddenly blank. Although they had been talking about it, he didn't realise they might play with this so soon. He was excited though, he always was when he got to try something a little different with Ryuu.

"I was thinking of playing with candle wax," he gestured to the candles burning just beside the bed. "And ice. I have some sweet and spicy foods that I know you like as well. Plus some feathers, a Wartenberg wheel-"

"A what?"

"A Wartenberg wheel?" Akihito nodded and Ryuu sat on the bed, pulling the small box closer to himself. He flipped off the lid and pulled out something with a long metal handle that connected to a small round wheel covered in spikes. He held his hand up and Akihito placed his own on it so that he could slowly run the spikes up his arm. The pressure wasn't hard and the spikes felt almost ticklish against his skin.

"The sensation changes depending on the force applied to it but I'll be keeping it light tonight."

"It all sounds fine, honestly." Akihito grinned as he took it all in, clearly Ryuu had spent a lot of time thinking about what to do and even more putting it all together so carefully. At this point, he pretty much trusted Ryuu to introduce him to new things in a way that he would like. "So, what do I do?"

"First, we get you naked," Ryuu replied with a wicked grin. Oh, that look always sent frissions of heat down his spine. A nervous giggled bubbled up out of his throat as he began to take his shirt off and his lover pulled him to stand between his legs so that he could help. "Just relax, baby. We're going to take our time."

"I'm excited," he admitted as the older man pulled off his pants and discovered that yes, he was very excited. "But things being so premeditated like this gives me time to feel nervous. It always happens."

Ryuu ran his hands up Akihito's now naked sides, gently caressing his skin and sending little shivers though him. He leaned forward for a kiss and they stayed like that for some time, just kissing softly, there was no heat in it, just gentle affection. When Akihito pulled away, he was led to lie down on the bed.

"Would you like to be restrained?" His lover asked holding up the leather cuffs he had seen earlier. "It's optional tonight, although technically so is the blindfold. I would just prefer to use the blindfold if you are up for that because it heightens the sensations."

"Both are good," Akihito replied, getting a little breathless once again.

Ryuu smirked at him knowingly as he fastened his hands to the bed above his head. Trust this man to have a headboard that someone can be tied to.

"If we come back to play like this later, provided you are interested in more, I would use some noise cancelling headphones to block out sound as well. The more senses you remove, the heightened the remaining ones are. But we'll start fairly simple tonight."

The blindfold slipped into place and the world went dim. Akihito immediately noticed he changed over to straining to hear what Ryuu was doing now that he couldn't see him. What would it be like if that ability was missing too? He heard and felt him shifting around on the bed beside him, getting organised and comfortable perhaps.

"Remember, I haven't blocked out your sound so you are free to talk to me about what we are doing if you want. You won't break any supposed scene by doing so, unless you want us to be quiet."

Something light tickled down his side and he twitched away reflexively with a giggle. "That tickles!"

It moved across his skin and once it was away from his ticklish spot, he found the sensation changed. He became more aware of how it felt across his skin and he focused on it.

"A feather?"

"Yes, how does it feel?"

"Tickles," he giggled then gasped as he moved to torment a nipple.

His body still twitched in response occasionally as moved around then suddenly a warm hand caressed across his stomach and he sucked in a breath. The change was startling but he loved the way the fingers seemed to dance across his skin and he suddenly realised that already his very nerves felt more sensitized. Was that really all it took?

Akihito gasped and tensed in shock as something very cold pressed against his nipple and Ryuu chuckled. He had been so distracted by his thoughts and the warm hand on his stomach that he hadn't paid attention to the bed shifting as Ryuu fetched some ice! He trailed it across his skin leaving him gasping and writhing against the cold wet sensation. He wriggled against his bonds as it teased across his stomach and down his thigh. It was so cold!

Ryuu chuckled as he tormented his nipples with ice and even moved to suddenly slide it across his length. Akihito jerked at the intense cold against his heated flesh and groaned at fingers followed long the path. The hands left his body and he wriggled as he wondered what was next. Shivers wracked his frame even though the bedroom was warm. This time he was aware of the man moving but that didn't stop his gasp of surprise as something hot splattered across his stomach even while the cold ice returned to circle his other nipple.

"You okay, baby?"

"Yes," he managed to gasp out. The ice was removed and more wax splattered across his stomach. It was warm bordering on hot but not the heat he expected. "I expected it to be hotter actually."

"The amount of heat depends on how high I hold the candle. The closer I hold it to your skin, the less chance the wax has to cool before it hits you and the hotter it will be."

The wax that hit his skin that time was markedly warmer and his body twitched at the almost too hot sensation. He moaned at the feeling. His skin felt so sensitized and even just the barest whisper of movement across his flesh sent pleasurable heat through him. The wax on his stomach and chest quickly cooled and he jolted as a hand brushed down his thigh to tease across his achingly hard length. He hadn't even realised just how quickly his want had built, this need coiling inside of him. He tried to buck up into Ryuu's touch but he moved his hand away with a chuckle.

"Tease," he gasped out petulantly.

"Of course, that is partially what this is all about."

Akihito heard Ryuu place the candle down and he tensed waiting for the next sensation. Another gasp slipped free as cool metal spikes began to slowly roll across his skin. It was the wheel from earlier and instead of tickling this time, it felt almost prickly and sharp. He knew the spikes were blunt and realised Ryuu must being using a little more force his time, although not by much. He squirmed as it rolled gently across his sensitive hip area then gasped when the movement changed and it scraped gently across his skin instead.

A large hand replaced the wheel and he moaned again, trying to move closer to his lover. He thought his skin felt sensitive before? It had nothing on what he was feeling now. Fingers teased across his skin and he tried to push into the hand, move it to where he wanted it but Ryuu kept away from his sensitive spots. He skimmed just passed them and it only served to light up his nerve endings even more.

The hands were removed and something brushed against his nose. As he inhaled he realised it was one of the roses from before. He focused on breathing deeply of the sweet scent. After a moment, it was removed and he picked up the next one immediately. Coffee! Vanilla followed then another rose with a different smell. He felt more relaxed now, even as he was hyper aware. His skin when every breath of movement but he was no longer tense with anticipation, but relaxed and trusting as they progressed through the different senses.

His lover moved away and this time when he returned something pressed at his lips. He caught the smell of chocolate just as he opened his mouth and eagerly accepted the sweet morsel. Next something cold was pressed to his lips and he opened up to discover it was ice cream. A mewl ripped from his throat as lips chased the sweet desert and a tongue delved inside his willing mouth. The cold sweetness of the ice cream was chased away by Ryuu's tongue as they kissed passionately. Akihito licked his lips once the other man pulled away, lapping up the last bits of sweetness.

Next up some a hot cinnamon candy, the spiciness the opposite of the ice cream from before. Ryuu didn't chase that one with his tongue nor did he the next which was a matcha flavoured candy.

"Can I have some more ice cream?" he asked, hoping to steal more kisses at the same time.

Ryuu gave a deep chuckle but sure enough, he felt something cold at his lips again. As soon as the spoon was removed lips covered his own again and he sighed in pleasure. He could lie there and kiss his lover all night, the cool texture of the ice cream just an added bonus. He wanted to be touched more intimately though, his arousal was becoming unbearable.

"Ryuu, please," he whimpered.

"What do you want, baby?" He ran a hand through his hair and Akihito arched his body up, trying to push himself closer to his lover.

"You! Please!"

"Is this want you want?" Ryuu trailed a hand down his chest, circling and pinching lightly at a nipple before ghosting across his stomach. He gasped at the heightened sensations and groaned when the fingers wrapped around his aching length. Pleasure sparked through him, it was as intense as when they played with pain, just in a different way. The same feeling of his nerves being set a light and every touch heightening his pleasure. The same desperate need to release the pleasure coiling in his gut. He writhed against his lover's body as he firmly stroked him off. Their lips clashed together again and Ryuu swallowed his pleasured moans.

"Cum for me, Aki. Relax into it and let go. That's it." He spoke the words against his lips and Akihito's muscles spasmed as he finally came. Ryuu stroked him through his orgasm, extending it just to the point of too much before letting his now limp cock go. Akihito sank back against the bed boneless in the wake of his orgasm as Ryuu carefully undid the cuffs and massaged the muscles along his arms as he brought them back down from resting above his head.

Only then did he pull off the blindfold and move all the items off the bed. He mopped up the mess across Akihito's stomach then curled up on the bed beside him, one hand moving to rest gently on his stomach.

"I don't want to move," Akihito admitted after a moment. His limbs felt heavy and he was very tired. He yawned and curled into his lover. After some shuffling around he found himself splayed out across Ryuu's chest. His skin still felt overly sensitive and he was acutely aware of all the places their skin touched. It made him feel even more connected to the man.

"You can have a nap if you like. After being so hyperaware, your body will need a little rest."

Akihito nodded against the man's chest and tried to burrow closer. It felt so good being close to Ryuu like this.

VFVFVFVFVFVFVF

Akihito yawned as he made his way up to his friend's apartment. It had been a while since they had been able to catch up like this and he was looking forward to an evening of beer and video games. He was still a bit sore after his last session with Ryuu in the dungeon a few days ago, but he felt good, a contentment had settled over him.

The only thing that was not going well in his life right now was that Fujioka from his work place seemed to always be around. He saw him multiple times throughout the day, no matter where he was or what he was doing for work, the man always seemed to be there. He hadn't approached him again but it he unsettled Akihito, especially after their last encounter. Still, he seemed to be leaving him alone so there wasn't anything he could do based on weird feelings alone.

Pushing the thought away, he knocked on his friend's door and waited to be let in. Tonight was for relaxing with friends, not contemplating possible stalkers.

"Aki!" Takato greeted him after pulling the door wide.

"Hey, how's it going?" he asked as he followed his friend inside.

"Good, Aya's staying with her parents for the weekend so it's just us boys for tonight. She gets a bit emotional at this stage in the pregnancy and she decided it might be best if she had a quiet weekend. I had the TV too loud the other night when she went to bed early and she came out and started yelling. As soon as she realised what she was doing she burst into tears!" Takato laughed as he shook his head.

"Hormones are crazy!" Akihito replied with his own laugh. "Hey, Kou!"

"Hey man!" Kou grinned and waved from his seat on the couch. "You ready to get your ass kicked tonight? I've got the new Street Fighter game."

"Me lose?! Hah! You are the one who better be prepared!"

Accepting a beer, Akihito flopped down on the couch next to Kou and winced. He needed to be a little more careful when he sat down; the bruises from his spanking didn't always heal overnight.

"Hey, Aki." He turned to look at Takato as he sat down on a chair to the side of the couch. "You'd talk to us if you needed to, right?"

"Of course," he replied immediately, puzzled over his friend's suddenly serious expressions.

"You said a while back that you were seeing someone and you seemed really happy."

"Yeah, and really confident too," Kou chimed in.

"But… He's not… Hurting you, is he?"

"What?" Akihito gaped at his friends.

His friends traded hard looks before turning back to him. They seemed to be struggling with their words but there was a grim determination to each of their countenances.

"It's just that you cancel on us sometimes but you don't seem to have any plans, you just say you aren't feeling well. But it's so often. And then sometimes you seem like you are in pain when you sit down."

"Yeah, and I've seen marks on your arms a few times, you seemed like you were hiding them. They looked like they were fading but still… You know we'll support you no matter what, right? Even if you need to get away?"

"You think he's abusing me," Akihito breathed out in alarm. They both nodded.

He was lost for words. It never occurred to him it might look that way. He didn't want to go out to the onsen when he had whip marks on his back because he didn't want to face the questions but it had never occurred to him that by hiding it, his friends would think he was being abused.

How did he even begin to explain that this wasn't what they thought? It's not like he could say that Ryuu didn't hurt him, because he did. It's just that it wasn't the kind of pain that his friends were thinking of. Ryuu hit him because he asked him to, because he enjoyed it and because he knew that he would care for him afterwards and respect his limits.

Akihito groaned and buried his bright red face in his hands. He didn't really want to admit to something so embarrassing to his friends. Would they even understand? They were his best friends though, if he could tell anyone anything, it would be these two. They had supported him without question when he admitted he might be gay. But BDSM?

That was a whole different ball game.

What he did in the bedroom with his partner was his business, as long as it was all consensual, but he didn't think his friends would let him off the hook unless they knew the truth. He was so not prepared for this conversation.

"It's okay guys, he's not abusing me," he said after a moment, picking his words carefully.

"But he's hurting you," Takato pressed.

"Not the way you think," Akihito replied, embarrassed. Oh, if he could just sink through the floor right now, that would be great.

"What do you mean?" Both of his friends looked bewildered and he knew he was just going to have to suck it up and tell them properly. At least he had good friends, he supposed.

"He only hit me because I asked him to. We err… we have an agreement and we've talked it through and it's fine. We are both into that kind of thing and I promise it's all safe and consensual and-" Akihito snapped his mouth shut after he realised he was rambling.

"Oh my god," Kou said as he started to laugh, relief evident on his face. "You're kinky."

Akihito flushed even redder than before and buried his hands back into his face. He nodded even as Kou starting laughing hysterically.

"Are you sure it's safe, Aki?" Takato questioned, even as he seemed to relax. "We just want you to be okay."

"We talk everything through first and have safe words and stuff… It's fine. Promise."

"I can't believe it! We were so worried and we were even talking about supporting you and getting you out of your apartment sneakily if need be." Kou let out a loud sigh of relief as he stopped laughing and wiped at his eyes. "But no, you're just kinky. I can understand kinky."

"I don't really get it," Takato admitted then shrugged, "But if you're happy and safe, then it's fine."

"What? You don't have a set of fuzzy handcuffs in your draws?" Kou teased.

"No?"

"Aw, I'm disappointed in you, man."

Akihito sagged in relief at the easy banter. Kou was completely at ease now that he had explained, even if Takato still seemed pretty unsure. Overall, this had gone a lot easier than he thought it would.

"You're very at ease with this," Takato ventured.

"You remember my ex, Mayu-chan?" Kou asked, continuing only when they both nodded. "She liked it a bit kinky too. Like spanking and blindfolds and stuff like that. So I was just guessing that Aki's just a little bit more intense than that but if they've got safe words and have talked about, then it's fine, right?" He turned to look at Aki very seriously. "As long as you know we are here for you no matter what right? Let's just not tell Yoshida though, he'll freak out."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Okay, I swore I would never tell anyone so you gotta promise that you won't tell anyone else." Only after securing both of their vows to secrecy did Kou continue. "You know how he was dating that older chick a while back but they didn't work out? Okay, so one night I get a call from him, he's all panicky and begs me to come pick him up. Turns out he left his girlfriend's apartment in a hurry and left half his things behind. Including his underwear! He had pants on though. Apparently, she had started going on about trying something different, like whips and blindfolds and things. So he's all like okay, he'll give it a go, if that's what she wants to try. Then one day she whips out this dildo without warning or asking and tried to use it him! Turns out she meant that she wanted to use everything on him not the other way around!"

Akihito was stunned, that went completely opposite to every thing he had been taught about trying new things in the bedroom. "They didn't talk it through properly beforehand or anything? How did he not realise that she wanted to do it to him?"

"Not from what he said. I asked him that too but it seemed like he had no idea. I helped him do a little research in case he wanted to give it a go, you know, safe words and hard limits and the like but he was pretty traumatised! They broke up a few days later and he never anything about it after that."

"That's crazy," Akihito said with a shake of his head. "I can't imagine trying anything new without agreeing to it first. Or even talking about it. I mean, I met Ryuu because I was interested in BDSM and he was an experienced Master. But before we even met we had talked via email and set up a contract with things that were allowed or not allowed and we have safe words and things. It's all about trust and if you can't trust the other person, then…"

He trailed off, unsure how to express his feelings. Ryuu had harped on about trust since the very beginning but he trusted his master with everything. He kept saying that he couldn't know what he wanted unless Akihito actually told him, but he always seemed to know anyway. He honestly couldn't imagine how different their relationship would be if there was no trust.

No, that wasn't right. He did know.

There wouldn't BE a relationship.

It was as simple as that.

He certainly wouldn't be letting the man anywhere near him with any of the implements they played with if he couldn't trust him. Although, maybe in the beginning he had been a little too trusting of a stranger. But after seeing how experienced he was on the livestreams and then all the effort Ryuu put into making sure he felt safe and trusted him, how could he not?

"I really don't get some people," Takato said bewildered, he still looked concerned though. "And I really don't understand this whole thing but I'm glad that at least you seem to be talking about things with your boyfriend first and making sure you agree. So, if you say you're okay Aki, then it's fine. Just don't hesitate to talk to us, okay?"

"I promise, I promise. But… If you're still worried… They have an introduction night at the club I went to with Ryuu the other week. They have a talk in BDSM for beginners or just those who are curious. You don't have to but maybe it'll help ease your minds a little?"

"I'd be up for that. The stuff I saw online about it was pretty interesting," Kou replied.

"I'll talk with Aya about it and we'll see," Takato said before moving his attention back to the TV. "Now, who's ready to get their ass kicked?"

VFVFVFVFVFVFVF

In the end, both of his friends agreed to come along to the BDSM introductory night at The Power Exchange, if only so that they could make sure that Aki was really okay. It was weird going to such a place with his friends. He had been twice now, and was beginning to feel a lot more comfortable with everything.

But the thing that was really getting to him, was the fact that this time he wasn't going with Ryuu. Which meant that he wasn't wearing his collar to the club. Ryuu had said it was a temporary collar for him to wear when they were out together to denote their relationship to others in the same lifestyle. Yet it was also more than that.

So much more.

But Ryuu was the only one allowed to put it on and take it off so he didn't have it on today. It felt like his throat was bare and it left him feeling strangely uneasy. Akihito had almost called his lover just to see if he was able to meet him earlier to get it but decided against it. He would be at work, after all, and he didn't want to be a pain. He had told the man he was going to the club with his friends and why but hadn't said anything else. It was eating at him though.

Akihito understood why it was chosen to be a temporary collar. A permanent collar would mean that he never takes it off which could raise uncomfortable questions in his day to day life. When he looked around online a little, he did find that there were different types of collars, some much easier to hide under normal clothing but it could still put him in an uncomfortable situation. He appreciated Ryuu's concern, he really did.

But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted a permanent collar. He wanted proof to show the world just how much Ryuu meat to him and just how deep their bond now ran. And how much he meant to Ryuu that he would gift him and only him such a treasure.

How did one bring something like that up though? It was one thing to know what he wanted, it was another to actually put it into words and say it out loud. Worst of all, what if Ryuu didn't want him to have a permanent collar? What if he was only supposed to be a temporary fixture in his life, not a permanent one? Could he have read him wrong all this time?

It was silly, he knew. Ryuu had done nothing to show that he wasn't one hundred percent committed to staying together for as long as possible. But it was slowly gnawing away at Akihito and he just couldn't shake it off. Why was something so small making him question everything? The feeling came out of nowhere too. A sudden sucker punch of uncertainty to the gut.

He tried to push the feeling away as he entered the club with his friends but it lingered at the back of his mind. In an effort to distract himself instead, he took a look around at all the people here. There were quite a few that seemed a little out of place and he assumed they must be here for the introduction night like they were. There was a lot of nervous chatter and laughter and most seem to have come in small groups or couples as though for support.

"Aki! Precious!"

He turned to find Mistress Lavi striding purposefully forward with a cocktail in hand. Well, mock-tail as there was no alcohol served here. She wore a similar outfit to last time just with red leather accents across the snug corset.

"Mistress Lavi," he replied in greeting and grinned. It was good to see a familiar face. The people around them were staring but she didn't seem to care at all. In fact, if he had to guess he would have said that she liked the attention.

"Are you here for the introductory night?"

"Yeap! Some of my friends wanted to know more about it," he said as he gestured to Takato and Kou who hung back behind him.

"Excellent! Nothing like a little education to get people interested. Mistress Evelyn roped me into helping her so I'll be floating around this evening. Make sure to ask any questions you might have," she said to his friends. "I promise we won't bite. Well, maybe if you are into that. But you'd still have to ask nicely first." She grinned, showing off a little too much teeth and Akihito held back a laugh at the uncertain looks she was being given from people listening in around them. "In all seriousness, this night is about learning and we hope that even if people aren't interested in our lifestyle, they will at least be a little less ignorant and openminded towards it. Most people don't realise that if you've played with fluffy handcuffs, feathers, blindfolds and the like, then you've already ventured into the realms of BDSM."

A woman he recognised after a moment as Mistress Evelyn approached their crowd and then they were being ushered into the same room that he had visited the first night they came.

The talk was pretty basic and Akihito knew all of it already but he was surprised how informative it was. The two mistresses obviously knew their stuff but were open enough that people in the group soon weren't afraid to ask questions. Even more interesting was that they had practical demonstrations where they would get everyone to experience some of the different aspects. Things like being restrained to a chair for a minute or so, and putting on a blindfold. They even brought out some long colourful feathers to play with.

All in all, Akihito thought it was a fun and interesting night. Kou was certainly having a blast and even Takato looked like he might be cataloguing some of it for later. He was glad they came, even though he knew it was a little out of Takato's comfort zone.

They group moved on to take a tour around the club before stopping to watch the scene on the main stage and Akihito took the opportunity to slip away to the bathroom. He was just looking for the sign when his path was blocked by a tall, blonde haired man. His blue eyes were cold and filled with anger and Akihito took a step back at the intensity in them.

"Well, look who it is, Ryuu's latest slut. But oh, I see you aren't wearing that pretty collar this time. What, did he get rid of you?"

"What?" Akihito whispered, shocked at such vitriol being spewed out of nowhere.

"He's good at that. Using you then throwing you to the curb when he's done. What, did you think you were special because you had a pretty little collar? But you don't have it any more, do you?" he sneered. "How could you think you were special when he fucks how many others per week? You'll just get tossed aside like me when he gets bored and a new pretty shows up. Ryuu was mine."

The man snarled, hatred in his eyes and voice dripping with venom. Akihito took another step back but the man just followed him. He loomed over him and each word felt like a stab to the heart.

"But no. He threw me away like so much trash. If I couldn't please him, then you don't stand a chance. You'll end up just like me, left to beg for scraps from a master only half the man that Ryuu was. He wouldn't even tell me his real name. But then, you probably know all that, don't you? Seeing as you aren't wearing that pretty collar anymore. No one gets to keep him, little whore. If he can't be mine, then no one gets him."

Akihito opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. What could he say to that? He wasn't wearing the collar but that didn't mean that he wasn't still Ryuu's. The collar was a symbol but it wasn't everything.

"Shuu." A voice called and he turned to see a bored looking man beckoning the blonde in front of him. "Such a disobedient dog. It's not the time to wander off, hurry up. We're leaving."

The blonde man gave Akihito one last glare then strode off to follow the other man. As he approached, his countenance changed and he simpered up at the man, apologising and asking for forgiveness. He seemed almost docile until he shot another hate filled glare his way.

Akihito sagged on the spot, his heart hammering in his chest as though he had run a marathon and tears threatening in his eyes. He quickly straightened and headed to the bathroom. His friends would be wondering where he was.

The man's words had blindsided him. He had already been feeling insecure about not wearing his collar here and now it felt like he wanted to claw at this throat. Like he wanted to mark it so that no one would look at him. He was taken. But was he? That man – Shuu – had said he had been one of Ryuu's subs but he had thrown him away. What had happened? Had he really gotten tired of him? Did he really just get rid of him? The man was so up front and honest about things, he couldn't see him tossing someone away without saying why.

But then, maybe he did get bored. He did have a few subs on rotation to play with for his website. It had honestly never even occurred to him to find it strange that he was fucking other people even when they were supposedly in a relationship.

The realisation hit Akihito like a ton of bricks.

Maybe it was because Akihito was the new comer, but he knew what he was getting into when he contacted the man. He knew that he had other subs and it wasn't just him. He knew that was also part of the reason they had to get regular STD checks if they wanted to continue playing in the dungeon.

He honestly found that he didn't mind. He had watched them all on his livestreams before he even reached out to Ryuu to join and he knew he only played with them on livestream nights, which he still watched. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to need something that he didn't mind sharing. But was that normal? He was pretty sure that if he tried to explain that to his friends, they wouldn't understand.

But he truly didn't mind. Nor did that make him feel insecure.

Not like this lack of a collar did. Ryuu had called him his lover, said he wanted him in his life outside of his dungeon as well as in it. He had given him a collar to wear when he showed him off to his friends. Everything screamed at him that they had more than just a need to be satisfied together. It was more than just kink. But he still felt shaken, still felt insecure.

He wanted proof of their relationship to wear at all times. He wanted to carry the symbol of their bond and commitment with him always. Because, to him, that's what the collar represented. He was proud to be Ryuu's sub and proud to call the man Master. He wanted to show the world how deep their bond ran, how much more they were together than they were alone.

It was a symbol of a commitment that meant more to him than any wedding ring. Without it, worry and doubt began to creep in at him and he felt open, vulnerable. He knew he shouldn't but knowing that couldn't change how he felt. His mind swirled with contradictory feelings and anxiousness began to crawl up his spine. It felt hard to breath, like his throat was slowly constricting and he stood by the bathroom sinks taking long, deep breaths.

"Are you okay?" He turned to find another man looking at him in concern after entering the bathrooms. "I saw that other guy talking to you but it seemed pretty one-sided and judging from the look on your face, not welcome."

"I'm okay," he croaked out, his breathing was a little better but his throat was still constricted as tears threatened again. "I've never met him before but it seemed like because I wasn't wearing my collar today, that he thought he could say what he wanted."

"Are you here with anyone?" he asked, looking more concerned by the moment. They paused their conversation as he stepped aside to let someone else through the door.

"Yeah, my friends are here for the introduction night."

"Did you want me to go grab them?"

Akihito shook his head and straightened up. "No, it's okay. I'll go out to them. I was just a little shaken by what he said, that's all."

"If you're sure…" Akihito nodded again and moved towards the door. "All right, but let me walk you to them, just in case."

"Thanks."

They parted ways after they located the group again and he apologised to his friends for taking so long. They were watching a very vocal girl getting her ass paddled on stage and there were mixed looks of interest and uncertainty amongst the group.

"Would you guys mind if I say back instead of going home with you guys? I'll get Ryuu to pick me up."

"You sure?" Takato questioned.

"Yeah," Akihito replied with a nod and his friends agreed. He quickly fired off a message to Ryuu to ask for a pick up and was relieved when he got an almost immediate response back asking for a time for him to be there at.

The group dispersed and he said his goodbyes to his friends as he replied back to Ryuu. He was happy to wait until the man finished work, the man was a bit of a night owl and kept the strangest hours. In the meantime, Akihito was hoping to speak with Mistress Lavi.

He approached where she was standing talking to a few lingering members of the group from the introductory night and waited patiently until she excused herself. It seemed like they were going to stay and mingle for a little while.

"Hey precious, is there something I can do for you?"

"I was hoping to ask you something, if you don't mind?"

"Of course," she replied then gestured him up to the VIP section. "It's quieter up here. Have your friends gone home?"

"Yeah but Ryuu's going to come pick me up."

"It was good to see people you care about trying to learn about your lifestyle. That is why they came along, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," he replied, surprised that she had realised the reason for the visit.

"Did you want a drink?" she asked as they paused on the top of the stairs leading into the VIP section.

"No, thank you."

They sat in a slightly smaller booth than previously in the corner of the VIP section. She waved off a few people that looked interested in joining them before turning to Akihito.

"Don't look so nervous, precious. I am the last person to judge you for anything. Now, what did you want to ask?"

Akihito gave a small smile, feeling a little more at ease. That was true, he honestly didn't think any of those that Ryuu called friend, at least those he had been introduced to, would judge him for anything BDSM related. And right now, outside of Ryuu himself, they were the best people to ask any questions he had.

"I don't really know if I'm allowed to do this or even he would want it but…" Mistress Lavi didn't push as he trailed off, searching for the right words. "I wanted to ask Ryuu for a permanent collar."

"Oh, Aki. He would love that."

"Would he?" Akihito asked, his uncertainty coming through. More than anything, that was the thing he wasn't so certain about.

"Why do you think he wouldn't be interested?" There was no judgement in her tone, only surprise.

"The collar he gave me was just temporary, only to be worn to the club when I was with him… I wasn't sure that if he only gave me a temporary collar, would he even be interested in a permanent one? A permanent collar does mean something different, after all."

"A collar means something different to every person that wears one, the type of collar matters less than what the wearer believes. It may be that he didn't know what it meant to you to have one. A permanent collar is a big commitment, he may not have wanted to rush you or put you in a situation where you were uncomfortable. I know subs, especially those new to the lifestyle, will sometimes do things they aren't entirely comfortable with just to try and please their dom. Or they don't like turning their masters down. But honey, talk to him. Tell him what you want and why. You'll both have to talk it through."

Akihito nodded, feeling a little embarrassed for asking. Stupid, Ryuu was always reminding him to talk to him. He should have just waited.

"As for if you are allowed to ask," she continued, still observing him thoughtfully, "Ryuu doesn't stand on ceremony. You can just come out and ask when you find a time and are ready. You don't have to rush this. Was this brought on because you don't have your collar on today?"

"Yeah…" Akihito shrugged uncomfortably, "I feel bare coming here without it. Like I'm missing part of me? I'm not sure how to explain it but I feel almost… Uncomfortable without it."

"Talk to Ryuu, Aki. I promise you, he won't be upset for telling him your wants and needs."

"Okay, I will."

"Good, and you are always welcome to talk with me precious, about anything."

Akihito smiled at Mistress Lavi, he felt better knowing that he had someone else he could talk to about his relationship as well. Hopefully he wouldn't need her advice often but it was reassuring to know she wouldn't judge him for anything. Even silly questions.

Now, he just had to talk to Ryuu. And not only about the collar.