Misunderstandings, Chap. 4
A/N: I reference my earlier story Caitlin's Secrets in this chapter.
"Hello, Mr. Hawke," Dr. Rypman said as he ushered Hawke into his office. "Please, have a seat." Hawke nodded and sat down in the chair across from Dr. Rypman. "Now, suppose you tell me what's bothering you?"
"Well, Doctor, my wife Caitlin started going out after work with a strange guy, and what made it even worse was that she wouldn't tell me who the guy was, or why she was seeing him. And, I started to get all the wrong ideas—that she was cheating on me with this guy."
"Did you ever meet the guy?"
Hawke sighed. "Yeah. This morning. He was at the hangar when Caitlin and I got there, and I guess I just lost it. I climbed out of the helicopter, walked up to the guy, and told him to stay the hell away from my wife. Then I punched him in the face."
"Sounds like nothing any red-blooded male wouldn't do under similar circumstances, Hawke. If it'd been me, and some strange guy was taking my wife out, and she wasn't telling me why, I probably would've killed the guy. So, who was this mystery man?"
"His name is Jason Stewart, and he'd been talking to Caitlin to get some ideas about how to propose to her older sister, Erin. I just got the wrong idea. Total misunderstanding on my part."
"Has anything like this ever happened before?"
Hawke sighed again. "Yeah. Before I shipped out for 'Nam, I was dating this girl named Kelly. I actually thought we'd get married someday. But about six months before she died, she started acting really strange. She was breaking dates and avoiding me whenever I tried to talk to her about it. Finally, I gave her a choice—tell me what was going on, or I was going to break up with her. Kelly finally confessed that because she knew I'd be leaving soon, and that I might not come back, she'd been seeing another guy, and that she slept with him. I thought about breaking up with her anyway, but I realized she was being honest with me, and she already knew I'd slept with another girl before we met, so why would I break up with her, when she didn't break up with me, after finding out what I did?"
"I think I understand, Hawke. So, did anything sexual happen between your wife and Jason?"
"No, but that didn't stop me from thinking about it. I mean, any guy in that situation probably would have at least had the thought in his head, and I admit, I had it in my head. I just felt like the whole thing with Kelly was happening all over again, y'know?"
"Yes, Hawke, I do know. But, does Caitlin know about what happened with you and Kelly?"
"No, she doesn't. I mean, she knows we dated before I left, and she knows Kelly died, but I never told Caitlin about this particular incident. I suppose I should, but I'm wondering why she wouldn't tell me the real reason she was seeing Jason."
"Would you feel better talking to Caitlin about this here? In the office?"
"Y'know something? Yeah, I would."
"Okay. I'll make an appointment for the same time tomorrow, and I'll expect to see you both then. All right?"
"Okay, doctor, and thank you. By the way, from now on, please, call me String."
"All right, String." Dr. Rypman stood and offered his hand to Hawke, who shook it gratefully.
"Thank you again, Doctor. See you tomorrow." Hawke smiled and took the reminder card Dr. Rypman offered him, then left the office, arriving back at the hangar a short time later.
"Caitlin? What are you doing out here?" Hawke was surprised when he pulled up to find his wife standing outside the hangar.
"Waiting for you, String. Did your session with the therapist go all right?"
"Actually, yeah, it did, but there are some things I need to tell you, Caitlin. Would you come to Dr. Rypman's office with me, tomorrow?"
"Sure, String. I think that's a great idea." She smiled warmly at her husband, the first time Hawke could remember a smile like that from his wife since this whole fiasco had begun.
"Thanks, Caitlin."
Dr. Rypman's Office, the next day
"Well, Mrs. Hawke, it's certainly a pleasure to meet you," Dr. Rypman said as she and String sat down. "First off, I have a question: I don't mean to be blunt, but are you two having normal, regular sex?"
Caitlin sighed. "No, Doctor. String's been sleeping in a separate bedroom ever since this whole mess began, and I've gotta admit, I-I miss having him next to me."
"String, why are you sleeping in separate bedrooms?"
"I guess I felt like there was no reason to sleep in the same bed, knowing that Caitlin was keeping a secret from me. Especially with what I told you about yesterday, Doctor."
Hawke sighed and turned to his wife. "Cait, you remember me telling you about Kelly, right?"
"Yes, String, but why is that important now?"
Hawke sighed again, then continued, "Because, about six months before the accident, Kelly started acting really strange, breaking dates, and making excuses whenever I asked her what was going on, a lot like you'd been doing about Jason. Finally, I got Kelly to admit that she'd been sleeping with somebody else, since she knew I was going to be shipping out, and might not come home.
"And when you started avoiding my questions about Jason, it was like Kelly and I were having those same arguments all over again. And, I overreacted, like you know I have a tendency to do. I hate to admit this, Caitlin, but I'd been wondering if you had slept with Jason, or if you were going to."
God in heaven! It makes sense now! Caitlin thought. Aloud, she said, "String, even though that's probably the most shocking thing I've ever heard you say, I guess I can understand why you were thinkin' that about me. And I don't blame you for wondering if Jason and I slept together, because I probably would've done the same thing if I'd been seein' you going out with another woman. Now, I think it's my turn to tell you something you've been tryin' to get me to tell you since that first night—why I wouldn't introduce you to Jason. The simple truth is that after the first night we went out, I was afraid you'd do something like you did yesterday morning."
"Well, I'm certainly glad I didn't disappoint you, Cait." Hawke deadpanned, forcing a grin at his wife.
"There's more. String. That second night, the night I planned to introduce you to Jason and explain what was going on, earlier in that day, I'd gotten a letter from Erin, and she told me she was pregnant. And I stupidly assumed that Jason was the baby's father, and that's what I meant when I said I'd learned some things about my friend, and didn't feel like I could introduce you to him. I just had this awful vision of you hauling off and decking him before I could explain that he wasn't Erin's baby's father."
"I understand, Caitlin. If you had introduced me to him, and then told me that Erin was pregnant, I probably would have done even worse than just punching him in the face. But, if Jason wasn't the father, then who is?"
"Jason's best friend, Harry Retford. Jason told me all about it, after I told him about getting a letter from Erin where she told me she was pregnant. Erin and Harry met one night before she met Jason, and after Erin drank way too much, they slept together, and now, she's pregnant. Harry was killed by a drunk driver after Erin and Jason met, but just before he died, Jason promised Harry that he'd accept Harry's baby, and raise it as his own. But, that's why I couldn't introduce you to him the second time we went out, even though I wanted to."
"That makes sense, Caitlin," Hawke said as he gave his wife's hand a warm, loving squeeze. Her smile just then could have lit up the entire office, and Dr. Rypman immediately noticed.
"Well, I think things are getting back on the right track, here. I get the feeling that you two are still very much in love with each other, even though this happened. Am I correct?"
"Well, I can't speak for Caitlin—I know better—but as for myself, I know I'm still very much in love with her. Even though I didn't't like her very much while this was going on, I never stopped loving Cait, and I never will."
"For once, String could have spoken for me, because I feel the exact same way about him. I've never stopped being completely in love with String, even though I didn't like him very much when this whole thing happened, the same way he didn't like me. But now, I know why he felt the way he did, and I still love him. I could never stop loving my husband, no matter what."
"Yeah. No matter what," Hawke said, smiling at his wife again.
"Well, I think we've covered a lot of good ground, but I would like to see you again in about a week, just to see how things are going. Would that be all right?"
Caitlin and Hawke looked at each other, smiled, and said, in unison, "Absolutely."
Once they'd made their follow-up appointment, String and Caitlin walked hand-in-hand back to the Jeep, but before they got in, Caitlin threw her arms around Hawke's neck and kissed him, and her heart took flight when Hawke immediately wrapped his arms around her and returned her kiss with equal passion, pausing only when he felt himself getting light-headed.
"String, do you have any idea how badly I've needed that?" Caitlin gasped as soon as she felt like she could construct a complete sentence.
"Probably at least as badly as I did, Caitlin," Hawke said, smiling as he opened the passenger-side door of the jeep for his wife.
"We really have to communicate better, String," Caitlin told him as soon as he climbed into the jeep and started back to the hangar. "I wish you'd told me about what happened with you and Kelly, because it might have helped me understand the situation a little better."
"I understand, Caitlin, and I do understand why you felt like you couldn't tell me about Jason, especially after finding out what was going on with Erin. It almost sounds like what happened before I asked you to marry me, y'know?"
"Yeah, when I let that rat bastard con me into sleeping with him, and then found out I was pregnant. But, you did just like Jason, and decided to raise my baby as our baby, and I will never forget it, String."
"Well," Dom said when String and Cait pulled up to the hangar and got out of the jeep, immediately grabbing each other's hands, "it looks like your visit with the shrink did a world of good."
"I think so, Dom," Hawke said.
"So do I," Caitlin answered, smiling up at her husband.
"We do have another appointment, next week, but I think that'll be the last one," Hawke said. "I'm just lucky Caitlin doesn't hold a grudge against me, for what happened."
"Just like I'm lucky String doesn't hold a grudge against me for everything," Caitlin said, smiling up at Hawke.
Later that evening, after they had returned home, and explained the situation to Saoirse as best they could, Caitlin stopped before they went up to the sleeping loft. "String, I certainly hope you weren't planning on sleeping in the guest room again tonight, because I need my husband, desperately."
"My question is, do you want me, as badly as you need me?" Hawke answered her.
Caitlin tugged on Hawke's arm, saying, "Come here, String, and let me show you." Smiling, Hawke followed his wife back into their bedroom, where she wasted little time showing him just how badly she not only needed him, but wanted him there, by her side.