Chapter 2:
Come on, pick up, pick up.
Wade picked up and said sleepily "It's four in the morning, and-" He yawned, "-daddy definitely needs his beauty sleep, Baby-"
"Sheesh, Wade, what took you so long? Listen, I'm on my way out to the Avengers' tower, we're flying out to the Savage Land and need you. Can you be there in twenty?" Peter asked hurriedly.
Wade groaned and said "Do they really though? Need? Me?"
"I swear to all that is pure, if you make me come to your apartment right now…" Peter threatened.
"Ooh, I'd really like to see you cum, but isn't that a little early in our relationship? It's literally four o'clock." Wade snickered, mentally petting his back.
"I will end you, Wilson." Peter hissed while pulling his gloves on his hands.
"Yellow says he wants to see you try." Wade said nonchalantly.
"Tell Yellow I'm going to smack him out of your head if you won't get up now." Peter said and pulled his mask on.
"You sound so violent today… Little DP likey." Wade giggled.
"Wade! Get your ass to the tower now!" Peter yelled, almost making Wade drop his phone out of fright.
"Holy shit, you scared me. I'll be there in a few." Wade said, sounding legitimately petrified.
"Thank you." Peter said way too sweetly and hung up. "Fucking Wade…" He murmured to himself as he got out of the window.
Peter was met with the Avengers on the Quinjet's pad. "Hey guys." He said.
"Peter." Steve greeted with a toothy smile. "Sorry for the hasty notice, this is extremely important, thank you for coming this rapidly."
"Nah, it's cool. I'll get proper sleep when I'll be dead." Peter joked, shrugging his shoulders.
"I hope that's not the game plan, kid." Tony chuckled.
"I second." Thor said proudly.
Clint chuckled at the worried looking Thor and said, "I'm pretty sure he was joking, man." And patted the god's back. "Where's Wade?"
Peter's expression turned sour behind the mask as he said grumpily "He'll be here soon.."
Tony smirked and said "Is your pet being a little disobedient?" And bumped Bruce's shoulder. Bruce just had an innocent expression on his face, shaking it disapprovingly, knowing well enough of what's to come from the web head.
"Tony." Steve said warningly.
"Relax, Cap. I was joking. I just acknowledged that Deadpool will follow every order our little buddy here says." Tony winked towards Peter.
Before Tony could further entertain himself, Peter took a few menacing steps towards him and said while poking his chest plate with his pointer finger, "Listen to me, Iron turd, it's four in the fucking morning and you do not want to mess with me right now." He poked Tony hard enough for the older man to stumble backwards. "Wade is not my anything, but my friend. You're my boss and I act civilized and respectfully towards you, but if you think, for a mere second, that you can insult my friend right to my face and get away with it, you are severely mistaken. If you want to play a bully, I will gladly show you what I did with mine, back in the day." Peter ended with a last push, slamming Iron-man to the metal wall behind him with enough force to dent said wall.
"That's enough, Peter." Steve said and placed his hand on Peter's shoulder.
Peter snapped his head back with a quiet growl and shrugged Steve's hand off, turning around to walk back to the shocked group, saying "I think it's only fair to give the guy a final warning." He shrugged.
As if on cue, Deadpool walked out of the penthouse. "Heya, guys." He said, skipping closer to the group. "Are you still mad at me, Baby boy?" He asked Peter as he stood beside him.
Peter glared at Wade through the mask, he doesn't need everyone knowing he's acting like a PMS-ing bitch when he is awaken from sleep. "I don't know what you're talking about." He dismissed Wade.
"Okay… So… Why am I here again?" Wade asked, looking around the group that was definitely staring at him.
When Steve and Tony joined the group once again, Steve said "Let's talk on the Quinjet."
When everyone were finally seated, a monitor came down from the ceiling. When it fleshed to life, an angry looking Nick Fury started talking. "Avengers, Spiderman and… Deadpool?" The director questioned. "I did not authorized him." He said sternly.
Steve acknowledged "Wich we are aware of, however, we think his abilities are of much use to us in this mission." Steve pointed out.
"They are?" Wade asked absentmindedly.
"Plus, Spiderman wouldn't leave New York without him." Tony chimed with a sly grin on his face.
Peter glared at him through the mask, crossing his arms.
"Very well." Fury said, looking at Peter directly, which Peter would've seen if he wasn't so lost in thought, thinking about ways to make Tony's life just a tinge bit unbearable.
"You are on your way to the Savage Land to shut down a Hydra base of operation." Fury said. That got Peter's attention.
Clint hummed for a moment. "What's the catch?" He asked. That statement sounded way too simple for the Avengers to call Spiderman and Deadpool.
"It has come to our attention that they posses an older model of Arsenal." The one eyed director said.
"Shit." Tony hissed and lowered his head in thought.
Fury continued "We do not know if said model is in any working condition or what it's abilities are, but you should be prepared for the worst case scenario, in taking this mission. It will be preferable if the mission will be done in stealth until the last possible moment, caution is of extreme importance. None of you're safe. And that includes you, Deadpool. So, I cannot stress enough how much you cannot afford to be careless." Fury said cryptically.
[Always hiding away information.] White noted.
{Rude.}
It seemed like Wade wasn't the only one who caught that. Black Widow sighed and muttered to herself "Slishkom rano dlya etovo der'ma."
"Eto tochno, chto ya skazal." Wade grinned. "Twinsies!" He squealed.
[Should we translate the Russian?]
{Nah.}
[Good thing I don't take orders from you, then.]
["It's too early for this shit." "That's exactly what I said."]
Tony lifted his head and asked with a disbelieving look "You speak Russian?"
Wade turned his head to Iron Man and all but growled "Smarter than the average dog, motherfucker."
Tony turned tomato red, scowling to himself.
Clint bursted out in laughter. "You tell him, Wade! In all of the languages you know."
"Please don't." Peter asked. "It will take hours." He clarified for Tony.
Fury cleared his throat to let everyone know that he was in fact still there and listening. He said "I hope you will take what I just said in great consideration. Good luck."
The monitor turned off and glided back to its hidden compartment.
…
When the team got to their destination, they climbed their way down from a rope ladder hanging from the hovering Quinjet. On the way down to the ground, they were shocked to see that a large clearing in the thick forest has been made, just a few hundred feet away.
The entire area was filled with one level buildings, huge warehouses, electric polls and large solar panels.
"That's a shit load of Hydra agents." Hawkeye noted.
Iron-Man snapped at him "Everyone can see that."
Bruce stepped forward and tried to calm Tony's behavior, "Tony, you need to-"
Tony interrupted "No, I don't need to anything."
Black Widow couldn't handle this weird tension anymore, and wasn't planning on walking on eggshells for the entire mission, so she stood in front of everyone and said, "Calm your fucking testosterone down. I do not plan on dying today because of your stupidity."
{You tell 'em, sister.}
[Spiderman is probably the most aggressive looking one today.]
{I take it back than. The redhead can't tell Spidey what to do.}
[The big guy practically got a boner from Peter's show, earlier.]
{Spidey's so hot with his super strength.}
Wade raised his hand, "I call for Iron-but to tap out. He's too loud." He said with mirth.
Iron-man turned to Deadpool, Spiderman immediately standing between them, shielding Deadpool. "I'm loud?!" He yelled.
Wade only nodded.
Bruce stepped in and put a hand on Tony's iron shoulder.
Peter said "I second it."
"Me three." Clint smirked.
"Cap! That's just stupid." Tony pleaded.
Steve thought for a few moments and said "I think Deadpool is right. This is supposed to be a stealth mission and your usual plan of action is too loud and attention centered." Steve looked at Black Widow, "I think it will be best if Black Widow, Hawkeye, Spiderman and Deadpool will infiltrate into the heart of the basis and shut its electricity from the inside. Only then will we be able to disarm and call in Shield's team to take the Hydra agents away."
[Cap just agreed with us. Something isn't right.]
{Why do you always question everything that is remotely good?}
[Because good things never happen to the big guy. His life is basically a chain of misfortunate events, knotted around for the reader's enjoyment.]
{True story!}
"Whatever." Tony said with what everyone knew to be an eye roll behind the helmet.
Clint cleared his throat and said, "Listen, guys, I don't want to be a mood killer, but how on earth will we get to the main building? The premises are wide open and swamped with Hydra agent."
"I can teleport us to a blind spot closer to the building." Wade said proudly.
Peter nudged Wade, "Good thinking." He said.
Wade shrugged "Might as well be useful." He said stepping forward. "Put your hand on me," Wade visibly winked at Peter, "and let's do this shit."
"I'll pass." Hawkeye said. "I don't think you need me in there, I'll be more useful watching things from afar."
"Suit yourself." Wade said apathetically.
When Natasha put her hand on Wade's shoulder, Peter really wanted to smack it away and grab the merc's hand. Alas, he put his palm on Wade's bicep, secretary stealing a feel of the hard muscle.
Before they teleported, Steve said with his all too commanding tone "Last communication check."
Peter and Natasha said "Check." into their respective earpieces, getting an approving nod from Captain America
With a sing song tone, Wade said "Adiós." And blinked out of existence, reappearing immediately beside the entrance of the main building. Fortunately for him, his comm was in a working order.
The new vantage point of the main entrance revealed to the three heroes a large room, filled with, surprisingly, only less than a couple of dozens agents.
In a second, Peter dropped the hand holding Wade and whispered "I should go by myself."
"Ha! Good one Spidey. You ain't going shit alone." Wade said cheerfully, But with an unmistakable serious undertone.
{Yeah, we like our Spidey whole and hole-less.}
Eyeing Wade for a moment, "Fine. I'm Going to crawl on the ceiling and web one of those key cards." Peter said, Pointing to an agent opening an inner door with a card swipe.
Getting a nod from Wade, Peter said "You teleport to that spot behind the trash can." He pointed.
"Aye aye, Baby boy. See you in two." Wade said, giving Peter the silent go ahead.
As Peter left, Black Widow called in to the rest of the Avengers, "Spiderman just went in, to get a key card in order to open the inner doors. Deadpool and I will teleport inside in two minutes."
Getting a firm "Got it." From Steve, both waited for the cue.
When they did teleport, they weren't surprised to find Spiderman already waiting for them in the spot. He flashed the card and they silently moved towards the heavy door. Peter prayed for the inner room to be less populated.
However, his prayers weren't answered, as the small corridor contained about fifteen heads in a quick count.
Natasha pointed quickly to an open vantage point in the other side of the space, and they teleported the instant Wade could feel Peter's and Natasha's hands on him.
"Now what?" Wade whispered to Nat.
The redhead looked around. "Now we choose a door." She said just as quietly.
{If I was a control room, where would I be?}
"Hmm…" Peter fidgeted. "Not to be rude, but isn't it obviously the one deepest inside the structure?" He said.
Natasha nodded. "Now how do we get there without Hydra's attention?" She pondered out loud, surveying the room and the targeted door.
Peter looked around and opened his comm line "Hey guys, can you cause a small distraction?"
Clint answered "Will do."
In a few seconds, loud thunder could be heard all around the premises, causing all the minions to turn around and leave the corridor for the main exit.
Hastily, Peter jumped to the chosen door and swiped the key card. As the door slid to an open, he was met with three shocked agents, mouths wide open.
Before the men could register what is happening, Peter webbed them in a collective bundle.
"They look just like mommies." Wade laughed as he and Nat walked inside the room.
Natasha looked around and said "Seems we're in the right place." She moved towards the huge computer and the live video feed of the place. Talking to her earpiece "We're inside the control room, three men were handled. Spiderman here is scanning the computer and Deadpool is…" She looked around. "Boje moi." She said as chills went threw her.
[That one was "Oh my god." You're welcome.]
Peter looked back at Wade, on a count of her terrified tone. "Wade! Get away from that!" He yelled.
"What? I wasn't touching anything." Wade said, he held his hands up. "What's that, anyway?" Wade asked as he motioned toward an old looking machine. M
[I think it's the thing that got everyone's panties in a knot.]
{There was a thing?}
They all heard Tony say in the comm "What's wrong?"
"Step away from the machine, Deadpool." Black Widow threatened with her usual tone of speaking.
[Go ahead, shit face. Touch it like you know you want to. Make things more…Interesting.]
{Make everyone scream!}
"Wade." Peter snapped him from the voices. "That thing looks like a stationary version of Arsenal. I think we should shut the main computer and it's main system down and get away from it, we don't know what it may do." He got close enough to touch Wade's back.
Wade turned around, saying "Mm… Only because you asked so sweetly." And booped Spiderman's nose with his pointer finger.
"Ok, can someone talk to us?!" Clint said through the comm, "Steve is about to go in and rescue you."
Peter rolled his eyes and said "Everything is fine, I'm just gonna cut the electricity and we're out of here. By the way, that model of Arsenal, Fury was talking about, is here in the room with us, it doesn't look like it's in a working condition, though." He moved to the computer and started working on shutting down electricity to certain rooms and locking the doors shut.
"This mission is no longer safe. Are you sure it's in no way can cause you trouble?" Steve asked.
{How he cares for us, I'm in love.}
"Cap, this thing is not like the Arsenal we know." Nat said, "It's stationary to the floor, has no limbs and looks rusted as hell."
After a few moments of silence, Tony says "You've got the go ahead to continue, but Peter, you must be sure you're not setting a secondary defense system when you shut the current one down."
"I don't seem to get any alerts of that sort of a mechanism." Peter said, continuing to lock rooms and shut different systems down, this place is a lot bigger than it seemed. The entirety of the warehouses and buildings around were completely cut off of electricity and locked with people inside, who had no way of getting out. The only place that was still unlocked and had people that were unaware of what was happening was the building they were in, in particular the main front hall and the corridor leading to the exit.
"Please be careful." Bruce said to Peter's comm only.
"I try, though agents outside in the open might be aware of things by now, you should try and disarm them so they won't cause any problems." Peter suggested.
"After Thor's little thunder show, most of them ran inside the buildings. There are eight Hydra in plain eye view in the moment." Tony said.
Peter nodded to himself. "Ok, so every room is out of electricity and all of the doors are all locked, ours included. There are no windows, so we might need your help getting us out of here."
"What about Arsenal?" Steve urged.
"Umm…" Peter voiced.
Natasha moved near him and said "What is it?"
"I think Arsenal is actually connected to the main system somehow, providing it power." Peter said.
"You mean it's working? Is it armed?" Steve asked, panic clear in his all-business tone.
[It doesn't look armed. Basically a metal box with a head.]
"It's definitely doing something, I'll try shutting it down from this computer." Peter said.
"Please be careful." Bruce stressed. "Tony is on his way above you, he'll blast a hole for you to get out."
As Bruce ended his sentence, a loud beeping sound started from the Arsenal machine.
[I think Peter messed up.]
{You're always so pessimistic.}
"Petey?" Wade questioned.
The robotic beeping sound stopped and the computer screen popped a white on red message, reading:
#Arsenal no longer provides energy to main system%
#Arsenal is arming internal fission bomb%
In that very moment Peter felt like his heart has stopped beating and stumbled backwards. "Oh my god." He exclaimed as he ripped his mask off simply because he couldn't breathe properly.
"Holy shit." Wade said.
[So that's what Fury meant when he said we aren't safe either.]
{What do you mean? We'll just come back.}
[You idiot… We can't survive a fucking nuclear bomb. It will molecularly destroy us to no repair.]
"Ok." Natasha cleared her mind enough to contact the others. "Guys, we need Tony here now to let us out, that thing has an A-bomb and it's arming it now."
"What!?" Clint, Steve and Tony yelled all at once. "I'm here." Tony said and carefully started melting the thick metal and concrete ceiling.
Peter calmed for a moment and said "Shit! All the Hydra agents! They're locked!" He immediately started working on the computer, but nothing was happening, it was completely unresponsive.
#Arsenal is armed%
#Bomb detonation in 3 minutes%
[We can try to disarm it manually. It's not like we'll be missed if something's to happen.]
{Good idea, Whitey. I wonder what it's like to be evaporated.}
[I assume we'll figure out short enough.]
Tony yelled "Almost there!"
Peter said to his comm, "Guys, you need to get the Hydra agents away!"
"Already on it." Steve said, the Hulk's roars could be heard in the background.
"We have less than three minutes." Natasha added.
Quietly, Wade opened the metal box that was Arsenal with a knife and looked inside. Inside there was an oval metal object. Upon tapping it with a finger, which got Peter's and Nat's attention, he realized it's just the aluminum casing.
"Wilson! What on earth are you doing?!" Natasha screamed.
"I'm obviously trying to disarm it. Duh." He said as he used his knife to remove the bolts keeping the oval closed.
"Wade, please don't touch that!" Peter asked with tears in his eyes.
Wade removed half of the case of the actual bomb and there it was, a miniature nuclear bomb.
"If I could only fuck with the detonator, this whole thing will be useless." Wade said pretty calmly.
[Apart from the very useful Uranium.]
As Peter was about to talk, the ceiling crumbled and caved under Iron-man's force.
"What's up?" Tony said as he flew inside the control room.
Natasha turned to Tony and said with raised arms in a disbelieving way "Deadpool thinks he can disarm the bomb."
"Wilson! This is no time for your bullshit ideas." Tony said as he grabbed Natasha by he back and knees, lifting her up bridal style. "I'm taking Nat away from here. Peter, you take care of your nut job and get away from here, ASAP." He flew out of the hole he made, leaving Wade and Peter alone.
Wade, still fidgeting with the device, said "You go, Baby boy. I'mma try to destroy this thing."
"Are you-" Peter started. "I'm not going anywhere without you!" He yelled. He would've slapped Wade across the head, but with his hands inside the Arsenal, he knew better.
"You know how I am, you can't get rid of me that easily." Wade tried to joke.
[You just literally insulted Peter's intelligence.]
"Even you can't fucking survive a nuclear bomb!" Peter said desperately.
As he said that, Steve's voice came up, "Iron-man is here. Where are you guys?"
Peter ignored the call, grabbed Wade forcibly by his waist and jumped through the hole.
"Hey!" Wade said. "I was doing a thing!" He protested.
{You'd lie if you'd say you didn't enjoy Spidey man handling you.}
Peter didn't even answer that, as he was busy slinging them by very narrow electricity polls.
They were edging the clearing's ending when a blinding light shined from behind and a deafening blast was heard.
The polls ended, Peter and Wade falling down and away from the force of the shockwave.
They fell on the hard ground on their sides, Peter absorbing the majority of the impact energy.
As Wade came back to full awareness, he sat up and searched for Peter, the impact breaking their hold on each other and scattering them from one another.
{[Peter.]}
"Fuck. I know, I know." He got up. "Hey! Baby boy?"
No answer.
Wade opened his comm link "You seen Peter?"
"No." Steve said. "Wasn't he with you? Where are you, Deadpool?"
Wade ignored the questions and searched the area near him.
[Spidey couldn't get far.]
"He's smaller than me, so he probably skidded further away from the explosion."
{Check further inside the forest?}
[He's dead because of you.]
No.
"Petey?" Wade yelled.
[Look, there! That red thing!]
"Shit." Wade hissed as he spotted a smell red figure about ten meters away. Too red, he thought as he ran.
As Wade closed in on the laying form, it was clear to him things were bad.
Peter was unconscious, his body on it's side, red leaking from his head on his face, onto his cheek and dripping from his nose to the ground.
His body did skid further inside the forest. Unfortunately, it was stopped by a thick tree trunk, making Peter's back curve unnaturally around it.
{Blood is pooling beneath him.}
[Doesn't he look pretty, though?]
{Our Pretty Petey.}
[Is dying.]
Shut up.
"Guys, I found Peter. Can Stark locate me? It's bad and I think it will get worse if I move him. We need Bruce here now."
"I see you. A few seconds." Tony replied.
"Don't move him!" Bruce roared, turning into the hulk and running after Iron-man.
After about thirty seconds, the Hulk and Tony were beside Wade.
"Oh no." Tony said, face plate coming up.
"Call the Quinjet over us and go get the extensive first aid kit." Bruce said, kneeling by Peter's body and trying to assess the damage.
"I can teleport us to the tower." Wade said before Tony had the chance to respond.
Tony looked at Bruce, questionably.
Bruce said "Go get it." And Tony flew away.
"You need to fix his neck with a brace." Wade muttered.
"Correct." Bruce said. "Jarvis." He spoke to his comm.
"Yes Mr. Banner?" The robotic voice said.
"Call the medical team to the tower and prepare a room. We will be there in ten minutes tops." Bruce said hurriedly.
"Anything else, sir?" Jarvis asked.
"Yes, prepare a few litters of O- blood in the room." Bruce said as Tony touched down with the kit.
"Yes sir. The team will be here in approximately five to ten minutes." The computerized assistant said.
Bruce took the brace and adjusted it carefully to Peter's neck, as Tony opened a folding stretcher, putting it on the ground.
"In three, we move him on it, in one smooth motion." Bruce said to Tony, which nodded vigorously in return.
Bruce securely took Peter's shoulders and head in arms, as Tony took the legs.
Bruce counted "One, two, three." And they lifted him off of his side and onto the stretcher.
"Ready?" Wade asked as he kneeled.
"Yes." Bruce said as he touched Wade's shoulder.
Tony did the same, but said "Wait."
He closed his face plate and said to the rest of the Avengers, "Wade is teleporting us back to the tower, see you there."
Wade didn't wait for their response, as he put one of his hands on the teleportation device on his belt and one on Peter's chest.
[Huh. He's alive, still.]
Wade let out a deep breath and clicked the device, thinking about the tower.
In a second they appeared on the Quinjet's pad.
Peter opened his eyes and said "Did everyone survive?" And blood started pouring out of his mouth.
Wade's heart skipped a beat, hearing Peter's voice that weak.
No one had the heart telling Peter that no, they couldn't possibly open all doors before the bomb when off, practically vaporizing the entire area.
"You were hurt really bad, Baby boy. Please don't try moving." Wade begged as Tony and Bruce got up, pulling the stretcher up as well.
"Yeah," Peter chuckled. "I got that when Lady Death started telling me how ex-excited she is to... to take me away f-from you." He said, stuttering weakly.
Wade's heart dropped.
"No." He whispered disbelievingly.
"She was so pretty…" Peter murmured as he fell unconscious again.