Chapter 5:
Peter closed his eyes with the same shaky weak smile on his face.
"Not a thing." He whispered.
…
It's been a few days, maybe a week?
{But who's counting? It's been quite dark in here.}
[And by 'in here', Yellow mean's Deadpool's head.]
{Yeah, shit's been offline for the best part of it.}
[Coward.]
{Shoosh! He's waking up again, play dead so he won't off us, yet again.}
"Mother fucker." Wade muttered as he woke up with a splitting headache. Opening his eyes to stare at the blood splattered ceiling of his bedroom, the events of the past few weeks started to come back to him; one minute everything was practically perfect, the next- life's a blurry chaos.
The idea of chaos always appealed to the masked anti-hero, the suggestion of complete disorder and confusion seemed so hysterically hilarious. It's bound to happen sometime. He would giggle. The part where everyone loses their minds!
But this, this chaos, was different and entirely inside Wade Wilson's head. And man, was it awful. Peter Parker, aka Baby boy, aka fucking Spiderman, is fucking blind.
How is this even life? Superheroes are not supposed to become impaired by blindness because of some stupid, completely avoidable and preventable, accidents. They don't lose all hope; heroes are just not built that way. They're to be altruistic and courageous, not broken and devastated.
Because this is what happens to people who were stupid enough to trust Deadpool with their lives, such things are bound to happen at some point in one's life. They don't just survive my presence, they always get hurt only to tragically wilt away from existence.
This sorrowful aura that surrounds me… It's ought to catch up with the beings I care about. Because Deadpool's not supposed to be happy or cared for, since he's merely a tragically hilarious excuse for a human being. He is not nice or kind, he's not good hearted or pure like Peter is. Deadpool is not a goddamn hero.
You see, heroes? They're not supposed to be defeated, especially not like this. Not Spiderman.
"Heroes are not supposed to be defeated!" Wade yelled, startling even himself.
{Big dummy says what now?}
"Just think about it." Wade says, sitting up on his bed, sheets crusted with blood stuck to the back of his head as he stared at the empty space in front of him. "This can't be the end of Spiderman."
[Spiderman can't swing around New York if he can't see, even you ought to know that.]
{My money's on another manic episode, just wait for it.}
Standing up to pace around his grotesque bed, Wade hisses at the White box "I do know that," He continues "But he's currently at the Avengers tower, with all his heroic little friends and their fancy technology, all we gotta do is wait 'till they find a way to fix him." Wade said breathlessly, giggling to himself.
{Called it.}
"Petey's gonna be A-okay!" Wade called to the heavens. "You got me there for a sec', you sneaky writer lady, you." He said, shaking his pointer finger at the writer with a grin visible through his crunchy with blood mask.
[This is not one of those fics.]
"You guys!" Wade moaned in a childlike manner. "Have some faith in the plot, man."
[Denial? Really? I thought we're smarter than that.]
Disregarding the box, Wade muttered to himself as he walked towards the bathroom, the bedroom's gnarly aroma was too much even for him. "Just need to wait until he's fixed and then swoop in and win him over with our D-piddy magic." He concluded. Ripping off his mask from his face, he looked at himself in the mirror and said "Peter's probably so mad at us for running away, though, right?"
{Petey's never mad.}
[The occasional push off a rooftop is completely accidental.]
{Ooh, I like those, they're the funnest, hehe.}
"He'll probably calm down by then." Wade shrugged as he started to take off his extremely ripe suit, thinking how this one's to be ridden off, preferably by fire or some strong acid. Realistically, he knew he'll just throw it out of his kitchen's window, down to the dumpster below it.
"One problem, though, how are we to know when our baby is ready for take away?" He pondered out loud as he turned on the water and stepped under the shower spray.
…
After a day and a half that consisted of binge watching reruns of 'Friends' and the consumption of five pizzas, Wade came up with an idea; I just get Weasel to hack into Ironbutt's systems and his video feed, which I'm sure he has of the entire tower, and then it's just watch and wait.
…
After contacting Weasel, Wade's master plan came to a halt.
"I can't 'just hack' Stark's systems, Wilson." Weasel said quite loudly through the phone, causing Wade to move the phone away from his masked ear.
"What can you do, then?" Wade asked, getting more agitated by the moment.
Letting out a sigh, Weasel said "Listen, Wade, I can try, maybe, to see if I can help you somehow, however, this is Stark we're talking about, his systems are ones of the most secure in the world." He tried to reason with the merc.
Collecting himself, Wade said with his most intimidating tone "No, you listen to me, you worthless excuse for a torn up human hacky sack, you're a mother fucking hacker, so you go sit at your fancy-schmancy computer of yours, and fucking hack Stark's video feed." He growled. "I'm not asking for much here, buddy." Wade said. When he heard an audible gulp from Weasel, he continued, "So please, I'm asking you nicely, work your genius mojo and get me a live feed of the tower."
After a few moments of silence, Weasel responded "Okay… Erm… Do I have a-" He cleared his throat "How urgent is this?"
"Very." Wade said calmly. "But take your time, dude." He added. "Not too much." He clarified.
Laughing awkwardly, Weasel said "Yeah, yeah, of course. I'll contact y-."
Wade hung up.
…
[It's been a couple of days, we should contact I. R. Baboon.] Whitey informed.
{You don't need pants for the victory dance, 'Cuz Baboon's better than Weasel.~} Yellow started singing.
"I. R. Baboon big star of cartoon.~" Wade sang along as he dialed Weasel. "I am Weasel.~" he said in his best grown up voice and continued to hum the theme song.
{Who even dials anymore?!}
After a significant amount of time, so much that Wade already finished humming the song twice and started to get mad over the fact the Weasel isn't going to answer, the mentioned man answered the phone call. "Wade." He said.
"Baboon." Wade acknowledged. "How's it going with my little friendly request?"
"Yeah, okay, so I've been digging around," Weasel started, "Checked Stark's security systems and access points and found none. Then-"
"You little-" Wade started, rage already boiling behind his words.
"No! Hear me out." Weasel urged Wade to listen "I couldn't find a way in without getting busted, so, I asked around and this is what I came up with- You listening carefully?" Weasel asked, needing Wade's full attention.
"As carefully as I can." Wade said, shrugging.
[Which is, to let you know, not extremely carefully. Because, you know, attention span of a rabid bunny rabbit over here.]
{Writer lady has a bunny! His name is Navi.}
[Evidence A.]
"Are you still there?..." Weasel asked hesitantly.
"Yes." Wade said, annoyance clear in his voice.
"So, as I was sayin', Stark's video feed and security systems run dually using hybrid hardwire and wireless systems, both operated by Stark Telecommunications, which seems to be basically impenetrable." Weasel explained.
{Impenetrable. Hehe.} Yellow snickered.
"But, upon further research, I found out that they could be overridden, and were, by one Nick Fury." Weasel said. "However, since then, the systems corrected themselves and are yet again a virtual wall to be reckoned with." Weasel finished his statement dramatically.
"Are you getting anywhere with all of this, I'm getting a headache and I think I'm starting to hallucinate little chibi I.R. Baboons shooting chibi Weasels." Wade said, sounding bored.
"Yes, right, so long story short, we need to cause a literal black out at Stark Telecom's HQ, so that both the hardwired and wireless networks will be down, then plug a virus onto the rebooting systems of ST, in order to hack into the video feed of Stark's tower wirelessly." Weasel summarized the plan.
"Cool. So I need to somehow cause a power shortage at ST, which is where exactly?"
Double checking for a few seconds, Weasel replied "Point Place, Wisconsin."
{Ha!}
"Of course." Wade muttered under his breath. "So I need to fly out there." He noted.
"Yep." Weasel said.
"And how am I supposed to cause the black out? They probably have shit loads of backup systems to prevent such incidents from happening." Wade mused out loud.
"Right, so I was working on a black box to fuck up with their hardwired lines and electricity." Weasel said eagerly, being quite proud of himself for creating such a simple, yet genius little device. "It's very easy to use, only thing you need to do is contact it to the HQ's main power supply center and then to a nearby landline jack. The device will send electromagnetic pulses that will short out everything in a five mile radius, give or take. The landlines will be useless until you unplug the black box from the outlet, so as soon as the blackout starts, you need to rush to the main computers and plug in the virus I'm working on, it'll download itself automatically onto the system and when you'll receive a message that the file was downloaded successfully, you'll need to pull out the plug, go pull out the black box and skedaddle."
"Umm…" Wade said out loud after a few seconds of silence. "Can you repeat that?"
Voicing a distressed sound, weasel finally said "I'll Email it to you."
"Cool." Wade said cheerfully. "Are you ready with everything?" He questioned the genius.
"Not yet, I'll need a couple more days to finish the virus' coding." Weasel said.
"Anything else I need to know?" Wade asked, ready to be done with this conversation.
"Umm, yeah, I found out that most of the R&D floors and various others are monitored by a recording video feed which is minutely stored on wireless drives, which we won't be able to access. And that most private and residential spaces are only monitored by the tower's artificially intelligent computer, not being saved into any archives, wireless or others, so if we'll be able to pull everything through, you'll be only able to monitor the live feed. Unless you need records, but then we'll have to choose certain feeds only to sync through an additional computer to capture and save."
Humming his acknowledgment, Wade said "I'll think about it. Meanwhile work on your virus thingie and I'll come pick it up when you're done." Wade said, already starting to strategize for the mission in his head.
"Alright. Later."
…
After a short flight to Wisconsin, Wade quickly followed Weasel's detailed instructions and completed the mission. The whole ordeal was done methodically in four and a half minutes exactly.
Getting back to NY, Deadpool immediately headed towards Weasels' small apartment.
When Weasel opened his front door for the merc, Wade greeted him cheerfully "'Sup, mother fucker?" He said as he pushed the door fully open and walked inside the apartment.
"Hey Wade." Weasel said, stepping away from the entryway to walk to his living room, where his computers were stationed.
"How's it hanging, rape ganging?" Wade said, standing up beside Weasel's work desk.
"Fine. You brought your laptop?" The hacker asked.
"Yup." Wade confirmed, moving the satchel bag containing his laptop from behind his back to the front and removing the computer from it.
"Good." Weasel said, taking the computer from the merc's hands. "I already located the tower's lines, so you won't have to wait for too much."
After booting up the computer and installing a few softwares, Weasel dialed up the bug he designed and intercept it to feed audio and video to a designated program in Wade's computer. "I designed a program to record every selected feed to your computer for later viewing." Weasel said as a moving image of the Avengers' tower lobby started playing in front of them. "The files will be downloaded and ready to be seen every round hour." He said as he closed the video's tab and opened a directory "You'll be able to see the files inside sub folders that'll be created automatically as you mark the feed to be recorded." Weasel said as he reopened the video program window and showed Wade where to click in order to store the feed.
Clicking a different link, led Weasel to a lengthy list of all of the tower's feeds. "Now. The feeds' names are coded somewhat logically by rooms and departments, but you'll have to enter each feed to see where it's located and whether you need it." Weasel finished saying, continuing to show Wade how the program work's as the merc crouched next to the tech genius.
After about an hour of explaining, Weasel asked finally "Got it?"
"'Think so." Wade said, nodding his head as he stood up from his hunches, ankles sore from the uncomfortable position.
…
When Wade ultimately got back to his grimy apartment, he expeditiously sat down, turned on the laptop and his PC computer, opened a new word document and started decoding the feeds.
…
A few days, and probably hundreds of useless feeds, later, Wade finally located the Avengers' private areas on the top floors.
Watching a few feeds on his screen, particularly of Clint Barton's floor, Wade hummed to himself in recognition.