Chapter 10

The Fringe Division team had returned to Boston after failing to find any more clues about the UFO in the Nevada desert.

Olivia came across Mulder sitting in Walter's lab reading through a stack of papers. A glance at their headers told her they were hardcopies of reports from the X-Files.

"Hey," she greeted him.

"Hey," he replied without looking up.

She sat down in front of him. He looked better than he had when he first woke up from brain surgery, but he still had a morose, haunted aspect. He looked like he didn't want company, but that he needed it.

"I know how frustrating it is not to be able to trust your own memory," she said. "I've been there."

"Yeah?"

"But I'm guessing that reading these old reports isn't about checking your memory; it's about who wrote them." She thumbed through one of the stacks. "All of these were written by Agent Scully."

He looked up from the report he was reading. "I guess I'm just trying to get a handle on what I've lost."

Olivia nodded. She'd never been great at dealing with loss herself. "It must be hard to know how to mourn for someone when you aren't sure if they're dead."

"I keep thinking...I keep feeling like I'll look up and she'll be here with me." He cleared his throat and changed the subject. "How far along are you?"

Olivia looked down at her belly. "Six months."

"Do you know what it is?"

"A girl."

"Have you picked a name yet?"

"We've picked about a hundred. We figure we'll see which one seems like the best fit when we see her."

He smiled for a moment. "You and Peter Bishop…"

"Yeah."

"How long have you worked together?"

"Four or five years now. It's complicated."

"He told me you dragged him away from a lucrative con in the Middle East."

She laughed. "Yeah."

They were both lost in their own thoughts for a moment. Then Olivia said, "You said you feel like Agent Scully is still with you. I'm sure you've heard of cases where people who are close can sense when something happens to the other. I've experienced something like that in my own life, with Peter. There's something you should know about the process Walter used to fix the damage to your brain."

He looked at her expectantly.

"There's a chemical Walter developed called Cortexiphan. It stimulates the development of neurons, but it can have, to put it mildly, unpredictable side effects."

"Like what?"

"Severe headaches, for one. But also what you might call psychic abilities. The chemical is incorporated into your neural network, so even after your brain heals, even years later you might develop these side-effects. I wouldn't want to give you false hope, but we can't rule out the possibility that the connection you feel to Agent Scully might be real."

He looked away, down at the stacks of reports. "I want to believe she's alive so much, I don't know what to believe."

Dr. Wang Qiming was a younger man than Mulder had expected, in his early thirties. He was tall, thin, and bespectacled with shaggy hair and wide eyes.

They met in the hypnotist's office. Nina introduced them.

"Dr. Wang, this is Agent Mulder. He's the paranormal expert who helped us find you."

Dr. Wang shook his hand. "Thank you," he said.

"Have you remembered anything about the time you were missing?" Mulder asked.

"No. But I've had dreams where I see strange lights, and strange faces."

"What kinds of faces?"

"They look like human faces, but I can never see them clearly, like something pushes my eyes away when I try to look at them. The lights are more disturbing."

"What are the lights like?"

"The lights are cicles that move. They're always closer than you think they are. Like they know where you are."

"What color are the lights?"

"Yellow. Light yellow."

Mulder tried to remember if he'd heard of anything like that in other reports.

"We're ready to beging whenever you are," said the hypnotist, Dr. Lisle, a plump woman with gray hair.

Dr. Wang nodded.

"Lean back on the sofa, relax. Get comfortable."

"I am relaxed," he announced after leaning his head on the pillow and shifting around.

"Close your eyes. Release the tension in your body. Relax your head. Relax your shoulders. Relax your arms. Relax your hands. Relax your legs. Relax your feet. Relax your chest. Relax your breathing. Breathing is a natural process; it doesn't need your control. Feel air come into your chest. Feel it rush out. Feel your stomach rise. Feel it fall. Your body is water. Its nature is to flow, to fill the most relaxing space. Your body is water. Your body is ocean. You are an ocean that fills a basin. Breathe in slowly. Your breath is water pulling water away from a sandy beach. Breathe out slowly. Your breath is waves crashing onto a beach. Breathe in. Sand. Breathe out. Waves. In. Sand. Out. Waves. Sand... Waves... Sand... Waves..."

She fell silent and listened to the rhythm of Dr. Wang's breathing for a few moments.

"Are you relaxed?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Good. I'm going to tell a story. I'll ask you for some details, and you'll say the first thing that comes into your head."

"Okay."

"You are in Nevada. It's the day of the test launch. You look up at the sky. How do you feel?"

"Excited. And nervous."

"Why do you feel excited?"

"I am going to help make spaceflight a reality for everyone. We are making history."

"Why do you feel nervous?"

"Because what if something goes wrong? What if I messed up a calculation? LaJana could die."

"Do you see anything in the sky?"

"Báiyún...clouds. Little white clouds high up."

"Anything else?"

"The sky is very blue. The sun is very bright." He lifted his hand to shade his eyes.

"The launch is about to begin. Where are you now?"

"I'm on my own in the desert. I'm leaning against my ATV. I have a binocular. I'm going to have a good view of the descent, I think."

"Do you look through the binoculars?"

"Yes. I check my location, check the compass. I look in the direction of the launch site. I can't see it. They radio me and ask if I'm ready. Yes."

"Then what happens?"

"The countdown."

Dr. Lisle nodded, then she counted down herself. "Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One…"

"Blastoff," Dr. Wang whispered.

"What do you see?"

"I see the Magpie. Silver. So fast. I watch it with the binocular until I can't see it in the sky. I look at the part of the sky it should come down."

"What do you see there?"

"Only sky. No, there is something. It is not the Magpie. It is only a dot. It is dark. What is it? It can't be a plane; we reserved this airspace. It is not moving right."

"How is it moving?"

"It changes direction. It is fast. It is come closer to me. I try to radio if the others are seeing this. There is nothing on the radio. I can't hear them. Something else comes. I hear a pattern."

"What is the pattern?"

"Bú zhīdào. I don't know. It doesn't sound natural."

"What is happening now?"

"It comes closer. Fēichuán! It's a fēichuán! Wàixīng de fēichuán."

"What does it look like?" Mulder asked.

"Lights. A triangle. And inside, a black. It is bright black. It is whirring. I can't move. I'm stuck."

"Why can't you move?"

"I don't know."

"What happens next?" Dr. Lisle asked.

"I'm inside."

Mulder, after glancing at the hypnotist for permission, asked another question. "How did you get inside?"

"I don't know. It was bright. Now it's dark. I was standing, now I'm down on something hard. I can't move."

"Where are you now?" Dr. Lisle asked. "Describe what's around you."

"It's dark. Cold. Frosty cold, like a freezer. I'm not alone here. There are people moving in the dark."

"People? Humans?" Mulder asked.

Dr. Lisle shot him a warning glance. "What do they look like?" she asked.

"I don't know. It's so cold. Their eyes… Nímen shì shéme? Ní wèi shéme bú shuōhuà? They don't talk. So quiet."

"Tell me more about where you are. How does it sound? How does it smell?"

"There are sounds. Whirring. Clicks. It smells...cold. Something is happening to me."

"What's happening to you?"

"Something's inside my head."

He volunteered no more information. His expression had turned from relaxed to frightened.

"What are they doing in your head, Qiming?" Nina asked.

"I don't know. I think they are testing me. I have to think the wrong answers. This test I don't want to pass."

"What will happen if you pass the test?"

"I don't know, but...I have a feeling it would be bad."

"What's happening now?"

"Wo bu dong," he whispered.

Suddenly he jolted upright, eyes wide open.

"Qiming, are you alright?" Nina asked.

"I'm sorry. I can't remember anything. It all seems like a dream."

"Take all the time you need. We can try again."

He shook his head. "I don't want to try again. I can't remember. I can't." He stood up and went out the office door, stumbling slightly.

Mulder followed him before anyone else could.

In the hallway he found Dr. Wang sitting on the floor, staring at the wall with a troubled expression.

"Do you think you passed the test?" he asked.

He shook his head. "I think it wasn't real. It doesn't seem real. But what happened to me? Where was I? Why can't I remember? I'm so hàipà...so scared, not being able to remember. What happened to me?"

"The important thing is you came back," Mulder said. "Not everyone does."

"They say you have seen things like this before. How many people don't come back?"

"People disappear every year," he answered. "Missing persons cases the FBI investigates, most of them have a simple explanation: runaways, people who die in freak accidents and their bodies are never found. There are also murders and kidnappings. A small percentage of the unexplained disappearances correspond with UFO sightings, or have some other component that indicates a paranormal explanation. I became interested in the field because my sister disappeared when we were children, and I had memories of the event that made me think she was abducted."

"And you never saw her again?" Dr. Wang asked.

Mulder shook his head. "I still don't know what happened to her. More recently...fifteen years ago...my partner was also abducted, but she was taken by humans trying to keep us from finding the truth. She was probably killed."

"I'm sorry," Dr. Wang said.

Mulder nodded, a lump in his throat. He tried to say it was a long time ago, but the words wouldn't form. It didn't feel like a long time ago to him.