AN: Well, what a day! Chriska selfies galore and an ecstatically happy fandom. Unfortunately, this is not Chriska, but Bensler is almost as good!
EOEOEOEO
Elliot leaned against the doorframe of Olivia's bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest, watching as she slid a pair of jeans over her hips.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come along tonight?" he asked. Amy was back in town, and he knew it was ridiculous, but he was worried about the two of them going out.
"It's just dinner El." Olivia said, giving him a sideways glance as she pulled a tank top over her head and pulled it down over her stomach. "Besides, we've spent every minute together for the past three weeks." It had been wonderful to spend so much time with Elliot, but Amy was back in town for work, and she was anxious to see her.
"I know." Elliot sighed. Olivia was right. They had been inseparable, and he was amazed at how much he was learning about her. With every passing day, she was letting her guard down…letting him see more and more of her with each day that passed. That tough exterior she worked so hard to maintain was falling away, and he felt like he was getting to know her all over again. They spent hours talking about their hopes and dreams, the things that scared them, and personal glimpses into their early lives…the things that shaped them into the people they were today. Olivia told him stories about her childhood that made him ache for her…made him feel even more protective of the little girl inside her that just wanted to feel unconditional love.
He did his best to show her that she could trust him.
Her openness made him feel like he could tell her things…and everything they shared had made them closer than he could ever have imagined.
Of course, not all their time was spent talking…they also got to know each other better in other ways. Elliot found out that despite her initial unease that first night in the kitchen, Olivia wasn't shy about sex. She was very adventurous in bed. And in the shower. And on the couch. He was pretty sure they'd had sex on almost every surface of her apartment, and even though they had sex dozens of times, he still found it hard to go slow. They fell into a deep sleep every night, exhausted…but sated. The marks of their love-making evident on their bodies.
Olivia had learned to sleep with someone in her bed, and she never hesitated curling up against him, falling asleep with his body wrapped around hers.
He also found out that Olivia had a dizzying array of lingerie…black and red and blue…satin and lace…and the fact that she'd been sitting across from him for the past seven years wearing that beneath her clothes made his head spin. It had been tough enough not to let his mind wander towards fantasy, especially in the last year or so, and he was thankful he hadn't known.
"We'll be fine. We're not going to a bar. I'm not even going to have a drink." Olivia said. There was a part of her that still felt responsible for what had happened to Amy and she hadn't had anything to drink since then except for wine at dinner on her first date with Elliot. "And I promise I'll call you when I get back to Amy's hotel." Olivia pulled a lightweight, cinnamon colored, V-neck sweater over her head and turned back towards the bed, zipping up her duffle back.
Elliot pushed himself off the door and let his arms drop as he walked over to where she was standing. He tugged her gently towards him and Olivia turned back to face him. Elliot cupped her face in his hands, and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep without you."
Olivia smiled and rolled her eyes. "Have a few beers at the poker game and you'll be fine." Elliot had begrudgingly agreed to play poker with some of his old neighborhood buddies…they had been bugging him to get back in the game for months. She placed a hand on his chest. "Just crash at Dave's." She had met some of Elliot's friends over the years, and had heard stories about these poker games…the drinking, the take-out and the dirty jokes. Olivia pushed herself up on her toes and let her right hand slide around his neck, pressing her mouth against his. She released his mouth before things got too heated. "And I know how boys like to talk…" She dug her fingernails into the skin on the back of his neck and he let out a small cry, followed by a laugh. "So, you had better not be sharing any details about what's been going on around here…" She slid her hand back around and ran her thumb along his lower lip. "Or you're going to be a very lonely man."
Elliot wrapped his hand around her wrist pulling her hand from his mouth. "Are you threatening me?" he asked with a smile on his face. Olivia had surprised him by being more of an instigator when it came to sex then him, so he knew she was bluffing.
Olivia raised one manicured brow and looked straight into his eyes, her face perfectly unreadable. "Are you going to test me?" she said, loving the look of uncertainty on his face.
He knew she was teasing, and he certainly wouldn't have ever said anything to the guys, but he wasn't going to take any chances. "Mums the word."
EOEOEOEO
They hadn't been seated for more than two minutes before Amy asked Olivia for an update on things with Elliot. Olivia was surprised. Olivia and Amy had talked several times over the past three week, but she had brushed off any questions about Elliot. She hoped Amy would take that as a hint…that there was nothing to discuss when it came to Elliot.
"Can we order something to drink first before the interrogation starts?" Olivia asked with a laugh.
"Interrogation?" Amy said with a sly smile. "That means there's something to tell." She slapped Olivia lightly on the arm, just as the waitress came to the table.
Once they had ordered an appetizer and lemon waters, Olivia restarted the conversation, trying to steer it back towards Amy.
Amy rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk about Jason Logan or therapy or trials." She let out a heavy sigh. "For just one night, I want to forget about all of that and just go back to being a normal person."
Olivia could understand that, and was determined to make Amy forget about all the chaos in her life. She tried to think of a safe topic of discussion, but there was a part of her that wanted to tell someone about what had happened. Plus, she knew that Amy was going to pry it out of her eventually. She just decided to go for it.
"I slept with Elliot."
Amy choked on the water she had been drinking, obviously surprised by Olivia's sudden confession. She coughed a few times and wiped at the mess she had made when she had spit the water out of her mouth.
Olivia just watched as Amy tried to recover, and she couldn't stop smiling. She knew she was being a hypocrite by telling Amy when she warned Elliot, but telling one of her closest friends and telling the guys were two different things. Especially guys from Elliot's married life.
Amy had recovered and her eyes narrowed as she trained them on Olivia. "Tell me everything." She said, leaning back against the back of the padded booth. "Don't you dare leave anything out."
Olivia felt her cheeks coloring slightly when she thought about she and Elliot together…him fucking her up against the wall…her mouth wrapped around him in the shower…the slow, lazy way he teased her body on a Sunday morning until she was begging him. She swallowed hard. Amy was definitely not getting the details.
"No. No. No. You can't back out now." Amy said impatiently. She knew Olivia well enough to know how her mind worked. "We always shared every detail of every guy we slept with in college. No holding
Olivia closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"Oh my God!" Amy said with a small laugh. "I knew it!"
Olivia opened her eyes and stared back at her friend, smiling like an idiot. "I didn't even say anything."
Amy shook her head. "The look on your face says it all. And that dopey smile."
"It's…there aren't even words to describe…" She wasn't trying to be dramatic, but she really couldn't find the words. "It's mind-blowing, toe-curling, off-the-charts…I've never felt like this. It's wild, crazy, uninhibited one time and then slow and lazy the next. After… I can't even move…I'm completely satisfied…completely drained…it's like I'm high and I couldn't move if I wanted to. And then 30 minutes later, I want him all over again." Olivia shook her head.
"Holy shit." Amy said. "When you said you slept with him, I thought maybe you broke your own rule and slept with him, like, once."
Olivia had always been very clear with Amy about the boundaries she and Elliot had set the last time, and she could see the shocked expression on Amy's face at her confession. She bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, it's been more than once." She would be hard-pressed to come up with a number if Amy pressed her.
Amy smiled. "I can only imagine sex with that man. That body…" She leaned in. "Is he as well-hung as I imagine…"
Olivia interrupted her. "Amy!" She hissed. "Don't talk about him like that." She looked around, making sure no one else could overhear their conversation.
Amy shrugged. "I'm just going to use my imagination." She said. The waitress brought their dip and crackers and she dug right in. "Is it better than that one guy you went on and on about at Sienna? What was his name?"
Olivia rolled her eyes. There had been a guy at school that had blown her mind…it had been the best sex of her life up to that point. "Shawn Davies."
Amy nodded her head as she took a bite. "Aw yes. Better than Shawn Davies?"
"It's not even a contest." Olivia said. "But it's not just about the sex." Olivia said. "Elliot and I have been close…and getting closer…for years. We already had a connection that I can't even explain. The sex was just…"
"The final step in an affair you'd been having for years." Amy finished Olivia's thought.
Olivia's eyes connected with hers, happy that her friend understood and had supplied the words she had been trying to convey. "It was as if we had taken our relationship as far as we could. We knew a lot about each other, but there were still pieces of ourselves we kept from each other. We kept butting up against this line that we had drawn. And we knew if we shared anything deeper than we already had…if we took that step and gave in to the physical desire…we would be changed forever. There would be no going back." She could feel tears welling up on her lower lashes. "In the past three weeks, I've learned things about Elliot that have really made me understand him. I thought I knew him…" She put a hand to her mouth when she heard the tremor in her voice.
Amy sat and stared at her, her mouth slightly open. "You're really in deep, aren't you?" she said softly, a small smile on her lips.
"I trust him completely. For the first time…maybe ever…I can be myself. I don't have to hide anything from him. He knows all of me. The good and the bad." She swiped at a tear that escaped. "And he loves me anyway."
Amy put her hand over Olivia's on the table. She was probably the only other person in the world that knew Olivia like that, and she was so happy that she could finally find the unconditional kind of love she was looking for. "You deserve it." She said. "And I can tell from the way you're talking and that dopey expression on your face that you feel the same way about him."
Olivia couldn't help but smile at her friend. "I do. I really do."
"Well then thank God you guys got out of your own damned way." Amy smiled and leaned back in her chair, taking a drink. "And I just want to say… I'm taking full credit."
EOEOEOEOEO
It felt strange to Elliot to drive back to his old neighborhood, and even more strange to drive by his old house. He had lived here for so long, and a large part of his life had happened here, and yet, there was a part of it that felt so foreign.
He pulled up in front of a house that was four doors down from his old house…now Kathy's house…and turned off the engine. He wondered if maybe he shouldn't have come. The guys in the neighborhood had a standing poker game once a month. Twelve guys that he had come to know pretty well over the years, with block parties and Fourth of July celebrations, and all the things that neighbors did together. The players rotated in and out, depending on who was available, and Elliot certainly hadn't been one of the regulars. His work schedule made sure of that. But one of the guys, Dave, had gotten a hold of him, and told him that everyone would love to see him, letting him know he was still invited, and urging him to come. He had mentioned it in passing to Olivia, and when she had found out Amy was in town, she had pushed him to go while she was out.
She was probably worried he would stalk Amy and her…and honestly, she may have had something to worry about. The rational part of his brain knew that nothing was going to happen while they were out. He also knew that Olivia was more than capable if something did happen, and more likely than not, had her gun with her. But over the past three weeks, he saw her as so much more than a cop. And predictably so, his protective nature was in overdrive. Maybe he should go back to the city, just in case…
He reached to start the car again, when he was startled by a knock on the window. He looked up and saw one of his old neighbors, Dan, standing outside the car with a six pack of beer in his hand. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car, grabbing his own beer out of the backseat.
He walked into the house, catching up with Dan as they walked, and was inundated with handshakes and slaps on the back as he walked in. At first, it was a lot of I'm sorry to hear about…and how're you adjusting to… But then the conversation at the poker table turned to questions about his life in Manhattan, his new apartment and his job.
"Speaking of your job, how is that hot partner of yours?" A guy named Tony winked at him as he asked.
Elliot had been waiting for it. Olivia had been at a few events at his house over the years, and most of those were events his neighbors attended as well. They had all met Olivia at one time or another…some of them several times. He knew it was only going to be a matter of time. And the conversation was always the same.
"I can't believe she's a cop. If she ever stopped me for anything, I'd beg her to frisk me."
"If I worked with a woman that looked like her, my wife would make me change jobs."
"I don't know how you got so damned lucky Stabler…you must walk around with a permanent hard-on."
It went on and on, but Elliot just smiled, taking the good-natured ribbing. He had heard it all before. He just told them to knock it off, and they joked for a few minutes and then moved on.
"Seriously Stabler…you ever get a taste of that? I bet she's one sweet ride."
Elliot turned to his right, and gave the guy a hard look. That was crossing the line. Big time. This guy, Jerry, was a real asshole some times. Most of the time. They had never gotten along. "Too far."
Jerry held up his hands. "I was just saying. No one would blame you. I mean, Christ…" He said, using his hands to outline the exaggerated outline of a woman's body.
Dave told Jerry to knock it off, but Jerry was staring directly at Elliot, a challenge in his eyes and his jaw set firmly.
Elliot pushed himself away from the table, and stood up, fisting his hands. The guys had given him plenty of crap about Olivia before…and certainly been crude with their comments about her anatomy and what they'd like to do to her…with her… if ever given the chance. At that time, he had told them good-naturedly to knock it the hell off…reminding them she was his partner and a good person. But now…this visceral reaction was probably telling them everything they wanted to know. "Shut the fuck up." He said forcefully, wanting to wipe that stupid grin off Jerry's face.
Everyone shifted uncomfortably, and Dave came around the table. Elliot he felt Dave's hand on his shoulder. "It's OK man. Jerry's an asshole. He didn't mean anything…"
Jerry stood up, his eyes still focused on Elliot. "Why you getting so upset Stabler? The way you're acting…I'm thinking you did nail her." He leaned in slightly. "She taste as sweet as she looks?"
Elliot tried to control his rage. He waited a beat to see if Jerry was going to shut his fucking mouth before he lost it.
Jerry grinned. "That why your wife left you?"
This time, Elliot didn't hesitate. His fist connected with Jerry's jaw, and he put everything he had into it. Jerry didn't have time to react, and he fell to the floor, crashing into one of the chairs. There was chaos then as everyone else scrambled up. "You miserable fucking asshole." Elliot said, resisting the urge to kick him when he was down. "Shut your fucking mouth. I don't want to hear you talk about Olivia or my wife…or any other woman that way. How you wife puts up with your sorry ass…"
Jerry pulled himself up off the floor then and he lunged at Elliot. "Fuck you Stabler!" A few guys held him back. "You always think you're such a big man…better than everyone else because you have a fucking badge."
"Let him go." Elliot said, looking at the guys holding him back. "Big man wants to fight me…"
Two seconds later, Jerry broke free and took a swing at Elliot, but he ducked and Jerry missed, enraging him even further. He was off balance because he had put all his energy into the swing, and Elliot connected with his jaw again, feeling vindicated when Jerry hit the floor again, and he saw blood coming out of Jerry's mouth. Jerry looked up at him and opened his mouth as if to say something.
"If I were you, I wouldn't say another word." Elliot said, his tone dark and menacing. In the back of his mind, he knew Olivia was going to be upset about this…but the adrenaline was still pumping through his system and he was still seeing red, and he pushed her out of his mind. "Or we're going to take this outside and you're going to end up in the hospital." He was shaking his fist, trying to soothe out the sting from where his knuckles had made contact with Jerry's jaw. He felt a perverse sense of anger as Jerry shut his mouth. He wanted a reason to hit him again. When Jerry didn't get up and took a step back. "Yeah, I didn't think so."
A couple of guys helped Jerry up, and Dave rushed over. "OK. Everyone needs to cool off." He put a hand on Elliot's shoulder but Elliot shrugged it off.
"Sorry about the game." He said to Dave. He scooped his money off the table. "I'm outta here." He walked quickly to the door, his breathing still heavy, and was glad that no one followed him or tried to stop him from leaving. He knew it had been a mistake to come to the game…back to Queens.
You can't go home again ran through his mind. Bu the reality was, this wasn't home anymore.
Home was with Olivia, and he couldn't wait to get there.