Olivia woke up disoriented, and it took a full minute for her eyes to adjust in the darkness. She felt cold, and realized that, for the first time in a long time, Elliot wasn't wrapped around her while she slept. She reached out, sliding her hand across the sheets, and felt relief when her hand came in contact with Elliot's arm.

"You OK?" Elliot whispered, and Olivia wondered if she had woken him, or if he had been lying there awake.

"Yeah." Olivia said, despite the fact that she could feel a headache building in her temples, her stomach was roiling, and she was incredibly thirsty. She wondered if that's what woke her. "What time is it?" She felt Elliot shift as he rolled over slightly to look at the clock.

"3"

Olivia let out a sigh and rested her hand on her stomach, trying to quell the nausea. She supposed she deserved it. She hadn't eaten anything and had downed all that whiskey. A stupid move that only added to her misery now. She knew that alcohol wouldn't solve her problem, but at the time, it had seemed like a good escape.

Olivia felt the bed shift again, and could see Elliot's shape in the dark as he rolled on his side to face her. She wondered about the fact that he had slept on the opposite side of the bed…because she remembered him curled around her when he carried her to bed. Maybe he was giving her the space she asked for.

The events of the evening were replaying in her mind, including the moments in the kitchen. Even though Elliot thought she hadn't been listening, she had heard every word. And she thought that maybe he had really heard what she was saying.

Elliot's hand touched hers as it lay by her side, and he covered it with his own. "I'm sorry about Amy." He said quietly.

Olivia waited to see if he was going to say anything else, but he was silent. "I just wish…" She paused while her stomach rolled again. "I know victims. I know what they're going through and I should have followed up with her. She must have felt so desperate…" Olivia felt tears well up again. "I called her and she said she was fine, and I should have known better. But I wanted her to be OK. I was wrapped up in my own life." She thought about what she had said to Elliot. "What I said last night…I shouldn't have said that."

"I know you didn't mean it." Elliot reassured her.

"I didn't." Olivia confirmed. "I don't know why I said that."

"You were upset." Elliot squeezed her hand. He had been hurt by what she said, but now was not the time to focus on it. "I just need you to understand that I'm here for you…the good and the bad. The fact that you felt like you couldn't talk to me, or let me see you breakdown…"

"El, your rage is always public. You beat on walls…pound lockers…rant about the injustice of everything. That's not me."

"I'm not asking you to breakdown in public. I'm asking you to let me in…to share all of yourself with me. To trust me." He tangled his fingers with hers. "Do you think you're going to scare me away?"

"I just…I don't know how…I'm just used to dealing with things on my own."

Elliot felt a stab of guilt then, thinking about all the nights he went home to his family and she went home alone. "I know, and I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. I never asked you…"

Elliot cut her off. "Let's just…I'm here now." He shifted a little closer to her. "Just let me be here with you. I promise just to listen."

Olivia pushed out a breath threw her lips, trying to calm down all the emotions brimming at the surface. She felt Elliot disentangle his hand from hers, and he cupped her right cheek. Then she felt his lips on her forehead, and tears started to escape her lower lashes as she felt the comfort and love in that one kiss.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" Elliot whispered against her skin.

"I feel sick." Olivia admitted, clutching at her stomach again. She waited for Elliot to make some comment about the whiskey, but he didn't. She thought then about how things had shifted between them, because he would have called her on that before.

Before. When they were partners.

She felt her stomach flip violently, and she bolted from the bed and ran for the bathroom. Elliot was there thirty seconds later, holding back her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When she was done, he handed her a towel and helped her up.

"Can you walk back to bed?"

Olivia nodded and started back towards the bedroom. Elliot never let go of her arm, and he gave her space as he climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets over her.

"Get some rest." He whispered, settling in against the pillows next to her.

"El?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for…"

"Shhh." Elliot whispered. "Go to sleep."

"El?"

"Yeah?"

Olivia reached out and found his hand. She tugged him towards her.

Elliot heard what she wasn't saying…that she didn't want to do this alone anymore. He scooted over and lifted his arm, making room for her. He felt her melt into him, and he wrapped his arm around her. He ran his hand along her skin, trying to soothe her until he felt her relax against him in sleep. He knew the next few days were going to be tough. They had to make it through Amy's arraignment and whatever came out of that…and they had to deal with whatever the department had in store for them. It was going to be rough on Olivia. And on him. He didn't expect things were going to go smoothly, but he hoped that Olivia understood that she could rely on him. He had faith that they could make it through and come out on the other side…stronger than before.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia sat between Chloe and Elliot during the arraignment, and breathed a sigh of relief when the judge released Amy on her own recognizance. Amy's own knees buckled, and Olivia saw the strain this entire ordeal had had on her. She saw the bailiff take her away, knowing she had to complete some paperwork, and she, Chloe and Elliot stood up and exited the courtroom to wait for her.

Olivia wasn't sure what the next steps are, but she knew she needed to get Amy in to counseling…to try to help her in any way she could.

They waited almost an hour until Amy emerged, and Olivia and Chloe wrapped her in their arms. Elliot hung back as they talked to their friend. They talked for a bit and then Olivia glanced over at Elliot. He walked over and fished the car keys out of his pocket.

"Here. Take the car." He said. He knew they needed time together.

"How are you going to get home?" Olivia asked.

"Don't worry about it." He said. He was planning on going out to Queens to visit his kids. With everything that had been going on and their mini-vacation, he hadn't seen them in weeks. Hopefully Cragen would let him use a sedan.

"I'll see you later." Olivia said, and Elliot heard a question in her comment.

He nodded and watched as they walked away, sandwiching Amy between them. He let out a sigh, hoping that somehow, this could work out for Amy and she could move forward from this. He didn't condone what she did: he didn't like vigilante justice. But he understood what drove her to it.

He watched them until they disappeared, and then he left and headed to the 16th.

EOEOEOEOEO

"What're you doing here Elliot?" Cragen asked when he knocked on his open door.

"I need to borrow a car." Elliot said, hoping Cragen was in a charitable mood.

"Why don't you have a seat." Cragen said, and the way he said it, Elliot knew it wasn't a suggestion. He was seemingly ignoring his request for the car. He closed the door behind him, and sat down across from his Captain.

"How's Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"About as well as could be expected."

Cragen nodded. "You're helping her through this?"

"I'm trying." Elliot said.

"Don't try Elliot. Do." Cragen said emphatically. "This will tear her apart."

"I know." Elliot waited for Cragen to continue. This was his meeting, and he knew the Captain had more he wanted to say.

"You and Olivia talk about anything important while you were away?"

Elliot shook his head. He knew Cragen was asking if they had many any decisions about their future in the NYPD. "Not really. I guess…I think Olivia's hoping that things can stay the same."

"You know they can't."

Elliot nodded.

"While you were gone…I had a nice chat with the brass and IAB." He paused. "This situation has put them in a tough spot. Your close rate is phenomenal and they don't want to lose either one of you." He paused again. "They asked me how long this has been going on, and I didn't know how to answer that."

"I swear Cap'n. It's just been the last six or seven weeks."

Cragen shook his head. "Let's be honest here. This thing between the two of you…it's been going on for a long time."

Elliot didn't say anything.

"And the thing I can't reconcile is that, despite all that, I'm not sure if that impacted, or how that impacted, your ability to do your job. You two are my best detectives, and sometimes I wonder if this thing you have between you…if that has helped in some weird way." Cragen shook his head. "I know that doesn't make sense…"

Elliot felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe Cragen was going to let them stay partners…

"And if things had stayed the way they were, I think everyone was willing to look the other way."

Elliot's hope faded.

"I'll just cut to the chase." Cragen said, tenting his fingers in front of him on his desk. "You'll both be getting a mark in your jacket plus suspension. I managed to talk them down from 20 days without pay to 10. You've already been out for 7…so 3 more days on your suspension."

Elliot nodded his head. He had expected it. He had expected worse than 20 days, and he was thankful for Cragen's intervention.

Cragen continued. "One of you has to leave SVU." He dropped the bomb and let it sit there for a moment before he continued. "Since you have seniority, typically it would be Olivia. However, the brass wanted you to go for breaking regs. I talked them down, and right now, I'm going to leave it up to the two of you to decide. 1PP has graciously given me 30 days from the end of your suspension to figure it out, find a new spot for the one that's leaving, and transfer someone in."

Elliot swallowed hard, but he didn't say anything. Part of him was glad that he was hearing this without Olivia…that he could be the one to break the news to her.

"So, you have no idea what you're going to do?" Cragen asked. "You had mentioned before that if someone had to leave, it was going to be you."

Elliot shook his head. "Liv won't let me make that choice for us. We have to decide together."

"Honestly…" Cragen said. "I think you both could use a break. You've been in SVU for a long time. More than most. It takes a toll."

"I know." Elliot said. "I've had the same thoughts myself."

Cragen just nodded. "You'll talk to Olivia?"

Elliot nodded.

"OK. Report back in 3 days, and I'll expect an answer then."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot didn't have an opportunity to talk to Olivia until that night. She called to tell him that she was spending the night with Amy at Chloe's, and asked about his visit with the kids. He filled her in his visit, leaving out the frosty reception from Kathy. He filled the discussion with updates on new boyfriend drama from the girls and beach parties and such, hoping she wouldn't ask if he had met with Cragen. But eventually, she asked. He tried to put her off, telling her he'd rather tell her in person and that she should focus on Amy. But she took his stalling tactics as a bad sign, and he knew she was imagining the worst possible scenarios. Although, he wasn't certain if reality would be any different from what she was imagining.

He told her everything that had transpired in Cragen's office and when he was done, she was silent on the other end.

"Liv, you there?"

"Yeah." She said with a heavy sigh.

"It's about what I expected." Elliot said.

"I know." Olivia said, that same sad tone in her voice. "I was just hoping…"

"I know." Elliot. "But the good news is, we get to stay for 30 days." He knew they wouldn't be partnered together, but at least they would still be in the same squad room.

"Yeah, but we owe Cragen an answer on which one of us is going in 3 days." She reminded him. "I don't know if we can even decide in that time. We have to talk, and with me here with Amy..." Her voice trailed off.

"How long are you going to be at Chloe's?" Elliot asked.

"Trial's not going to be for months. I told Amy I'd go back to Boston with her. Help her find a good counselor. Help her get things back on track."

"For how long?" Elliot repeated, feeling like she was avoiding the question.

"I don't know El. I have some more vacation days I can use."

"So, you're going to leave without resolving this?" Elliot asked. He knew helping Amy was a priority, but they had some major decisions to make.

"I won't abandon her again Elliot. Please don't ask me to do that."

"I'm not. I just…Liv. How are we gonna figure this out?"

Olivia let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know. I can't think about it right now."

"Avoiding it isn't going to make it go away." Elliot said. He knew he was being an ass, but this was their livelihood…their lives…they were talking about. He softened his tone…he knew this wasn't easy for her either. "I can maybe talk to Cragen about giving us a few more days…"

"Do that El. Please?" Olivia asked. "I just need to be here right now."

Elliot sighed. "Yeah Liv. I'll talk to him."

"Thank you." Olivia said, and he could hear the relief in her voice. "I love you." She said quietly.

"Yeah." Elliot said and hung up the phone. He looked around Olivia's apartment…the apartment he had hoped she'd come home to. But now it seemed empty and he knew he couldn't stay here. He walked around and gathered up some of the things that he had accumulated there and threw them in a duffle bag he found in her closet. He walked out and closed the door behind him and headed back to his own apartment.