"Kurt, you're next!" Rachel squealed, excited for him to open her present from her.
Kurt, being equally as excited as Rachel, snatched the gift out of her hands and tore open her meticulously wrapped present. His face lit up when he saw that she had gotten him an elaborate bracelet from god knows what designer. Kurt would probably have it in a display case the rest of his life (he didn't know that Rachel had bought it used for under $150; what he doesn't know doesn't kill him). Then he looked under the tissue paper and saw a small silver key chain. It was a rectangle no more than two inches long, engraved with an infinity sign. In one side of the infinity, 'Kurt' was engraved, in the other was 'Rachel'. Kurt gasped at how sweet it was. Sure, he and Rachel had their differences at times, but he had never doubted their friendship. He was so happy to have a permanent sign one of his best friends. He reached over to hug her - Rachel thought that it was more of a tackle - and thanked her about twenty times.
"I got one for myself, too. You know, it should be me thanking you. You've been so supportive of me since… you know…" her words trailed off and she gulped to keep her tears down, "and I just really wanted to thank you for that."
Kurt crushed her in another hug, trying to hide his blurry eyed face from her. He had lost just as much as her and, truth be told, he wouldn't have gotten through it without her either. He just hoped that he would never lose Rachel or he might not survive.
The two sat in the apartment, hugging until Rachel pulled away saying, "We should watch a movie!"
"I don't know, I'm kind of tired right now," Kurt replied, a little hesitant.
"Your choice," Rachel said with a smirk on her face, trying to get her friend to give in.
"Fine. But we're watching Moulin Rouge."
Santana came home to find her two roommates sitting apart from each other on the couch, staring at the TV with blank faces and gaping mouths. Knowing her friends very well, she asked them simply, "Why do you guys keep watching Moulin Rouge if you know you're going to bawl every time you watch it?"
"Because, Santana, that is exactly why we watch it," Kurt replied, Rachel still staring off into nothingness.
"Well obviously, Hobbit here doesn't think so."
Kurt and Santana looked at each other, then they proceeded to look at Rachel. They stayed that way for a few minutes until Rachel broke the silence.
"Why do people just leave. There should be some sort of sign that they will leave you. I mean, look at Satine and Christian. They could've lived happily ever after. Why did that have to end," She trailed off.
"Are you sure that this is about Satine and Christian?" Santana probed.
Kurt nudged her, mumbling through his teeth, "Yes, San, it is. Are you trying to make her cry?"
Kurt needed to remind Santana not to trigger Rachel a lot lately.
Rachel interrupted their private conversation, saying, "Yes. It's only the movie," and storming to her room.
She flopped on her back and stared up at the industrial-like cieling above her. It looked just like the ceiling at Burt's shop. She threw a pillow over her face. Even this after several months, everything she saw had some sort of connection to him. Every time she passed Bow Bridge or saw a sign for the Hudson River, she was reminded of him. She had once even considered just moving to a completely different place that she'd never been, but she wouldn't have her friends if she did that.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of her fresh, clean pillow. Finn always smelled clean and fresh, even when he was sweaty. And this was the never ending cycle of thought these days.
Rachel decided to listen to some music and go to sleep. She turned on the radio, making sure that the station was free of anything related to classic rock- another reminder. She closed her eyes and almost immediately fell asleep.
But she didn't escape him. She dreamt that he was laying next to her, his firm arms wrapping her safely against him. It felt so real that when she woke up, she could still feel them there. For a second, even the spot on the bed next to her felt warm, but she realized it was just her imagination.
It was as if his every move was implanted in her brain and she just kept reliving them over and over.
She still loved him. She knew he would want her to, but at that moment, she felt like she would never be able to move on.
Two days after Christmas, Rachel was in the kitchen helping Kurt cook dinner for their New Years Eve party. Well, to be fair, Rachel wasn't really cooking. Kurt had banned her from using the oven and stove ever since the incident when she almost burned down their apartment building. So Kurt was handling the cooking of the food, whereas Rachel was mainly cutting up ingredients (she was also banned from seasoning the meat).
Kurt had invited all of their friends from NYADA, Rachel asked a few of her friends from Funny Girl to come, and Santana was bringing Dani and some of her other friends.
It was their first big gathering of people after Finn died. Rachel often thought about how something like this could so easily divide your life into two parts. Everything for her was either before or after. It wasn't her first laugh, it was her first laugh after. It wasn't her her first birthday, it was her first birthday after. Everything was defined by him.
Rachel was pulled out of her thoughts when Kurt waved his hand in front of her face.
"Rachel. Rachel! Earth to Rachel!"
She shook her thoughts away, "What do you need?"
Kurt waved a piece of paper at her. "Run down to the grocery store for me."
Rachel grabbed the list and glanced down at it. "Why do we need more chicken? We already have two whole others. These people's appetites are bigger than Finn's!"
The second she realized what she said this, she clapped her hand to her mouth. "I-I'll go get these. Bye."
With that, she dashed off. When she got out of the building and to the end of the block, she finally slowed her pace. Her heart was still racing by the time she got to the neighborhood grocery store.
As she entered, the bells on the door rang. She was still flustered from what she said, so she made herself busy walking up and down the aisles. It didn't take her long to find everything on the list. As she hurried back to the front of the store, she bumped into a tall man carrying several packages of paper towels to restock the shelves with. As they came tumbling down to the floor, she realized it was her fault. She put her basket down to help him pick them up, but when she reached to give them to him, she realized who it was.
"Rachel, I can explain."
Lea's album Places just came out and I love it! This is my longest chapter so far, so I hope you're satisfied for now. I'm sorry I haven't updated for a couple months. Hopefully I'll be able to write much more during summer. Now that I'm back on track with Fanfiction, I'll be writing much more. As always, tell me what you think and any suggestions for future chapters. Thanks!