Potter, P.I.

Summary: Holly and Hermione have graduated from Hogwarts and are doing a little traveling so they can relax and unwind. One of their first stops is the Aloha State, where Hermione's uncle manages a large estate for a reclusive writer. While there, they're drawn into a dangerous criminal case by the estate's security specialist and part-time private investigator, Thomas Magnum.

Pairing: That would be telling!

A/N: Who didn't love Magnum, P.I.? This AU crossover takes place in the summer of 1999, one year after the Final Battle at Hogwarts and 11 years after the final episode of Magnum, P.I. (ignore events in the last few episodes, especially where he returns to the Navy). Magnum is older, though not necessarily wiser, and he's not prepared for Holly and Hermione. They may appear to be no more than two teens looking for fun and relaxation, but their smiles are covering up the fact that they're trying to forget the horrors of war — not unlike what Magnum, Rick, and TC were doing 20 years earlier.

I don't think this would be a long story, maybe a half dozen chapters or so. It would mostly be humor, but there'd be a darker, more serious edge to it as well — much like a lot of the better Magnum, P.I. episodes, as a matter of fact. Also in keeping with the show's voice-over narration by Magnum himself, this story will be told from his perspective. However, there will be third-person perspective scenes of events that happen away from him — probably once per chapter. That's unusual for a written story, but it fits with the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. I don't own Magnum, P.I., Belisarius Productions and NBC-Universal do.

Chapter 01 - Aloha!

I know what you're thinking. The only reason I'd go out of my way to help two beautiful young girls, looking lost but excited as they entered the club, was because I wanted to hit on them. Well, you're wrong. Dead wrong.

OK, mostly wrong.

"Don't do it, Magnum — they're way too young for you."

"What are you talking about, TC?" I brushed the crumbs off my shirt and checked for stains.

"I'm talking about you rushing after those two college coeds by the bar. They're way too young, and you are most definitely too old."

"Oh, those two?" I tried to straighten my hair in my reflection in the beer bottle. "They look kinda lost, so I thought I'd help them out. And besides, I'm not old. I'm... mature." I kept telling myself that the grey around my temples made me look distinguished, but even I had trouble believing it sometimes.

TC snorted. "Yeah, right. Besides, isn't it Rick's job to help people who come into the club? He is the manager, after all."

"Well, Rick isn't here today, and as his friends it's our sworn duty to help him out."

"Rick doesn't... Magnum!" I didn't give his protests a second's worth of thought as I grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the two girls, a brunette and a redhead. Hawaii is filled with natural beauty of all sorts, but none of it beats the beauty of the women. I'm pretty sure there's something in the air here in paradise that makes them all look gorgeous once they step off the plane, but these two were in a class by themselves.

"Ladies," I said in greeting, putting on my best and most charming smile. "You look a little lost. Can I be of any help?"

"Oh, do you work here?" the brunette asked, lifting her sunglasses. She looked even younger than she had from across the room, and it briefly occurred to me that TC might have had a point.

"Well, not exactly," I answered, and her bright smile almost immediately disappeared. "My best friend manages the club, though." TC cleared his throat and I hurriedly amended, "Our best friend manages the club." TC nodded and smiled. "I always try to help out my friends whenever I can."

I ignored TC's much louder throat-clearing this time.

"Oh, that's nice of you," the redhead said. When she lifted her sunglasses, I found myself looking into the greenest eyes I'd ever seen. She, too, was younger than I'd realized, though something about those eyes looked much older. Familiar, too, though I couldn't quite place why.

"My name's Magnum. Thomas Magnum," I said, holding out my hand to shake theirs. "Welcome to the King Kamehameha Club. And, judging by your accents, welcome to Hawaii as well."

"I'm TC. If you're lost or something, we'd be happy to help."

"No, not lost exactly," the brunette said, shaking my hand. "My uncle lives in Hawaii, but his home is apparently rather secluded. He said it would be easier to try coming here first. He's on the board of directors and... oh, there he is! Uncle Higgy!"

Uncle... Higgy?

The brunette was off like a flash, and my head whipped around to follow the direction she was moving. There, on the other side of the room, was Higgins. He looked both happy and surprised — two expressions I rarely saw on his face separately, never mind together.

I turned back to the redhead, who looked tolerantly amused. "Uncle Higgy?" I half-whispered.

She shrugged. "Apparently it's something her mother always called him. So technically he's her great uncle, I guess."

"Suddenly I don't feel so bad about calling him Higgy-Baby all the time," TC said with a smirk.

The redhead laughed as she extended her hand. "My name's Holly, by the way — Holly Potter. My rather excitable friend there is Hermione Granger. We've just graduated from school in Scotland and are traveling for a while before we settle down and decide on what boring careers we'll pursue for the rest of our lives. She has a standing invitation from her uncle to visit any time she's in the neighborhood, so here we are."

"You'll be staying on the estate, then?" This was getting better and better. It had been a while since Robin had invited any young, female friends of his to stay, and I'd been getting awfully lonely with just Higgins and the dogs around to keep me company.

"You know about it?"

I nodded. "I stay there myself, in the guest house. I'm in charge of estate security."

"So, you're the one I'll want to talk to when I'm locked out in the middle of the night?"

"Absolutely, though I'm sure Higgins will be able to help, too." TC coughed rather loudly and shot me a look. I wasn't quite sure if she was hitting on me, but better her than her friend. If Higgins thought for even a second that I was doing anything remotely inappropriate with his niece, they'd never find my body.

Hell, he'd probably kill TC and Rick, too, just on general principle.

"So, what's a girl gotta do to get one of those?" She gestured with her chin towards the beer bottle that I'd forgotten I was still holding. I looked around and saw that Higgins' attention was still on his niece, so I leaned over the bar and grabbed a bottle from the cooler.

"Are you old enough to drink?" I asked as I held it up.

"Old enough," she responded without any humor, and for a second I thought I saw something dark flash across her eyes. I shrugged mentally and popped the cap before handing it over, then looked over at TC. He'd noticed the same thing. In my profession you have to know how to read people, and something told me that this wasn't your typical, flighty college coed.

Clearly, I'd have to invest some serious time getting to know her better. It was vital to the estate's security, after all.

"Thanks," she said after taking a long pull. "It's a lot warmer here than what I'm used to in Scotland. Beautiful, but warm."

"You get used to it," I assured her. "And it's a great excuse to hang out on the beach or by the pool, both of which the estate has."

She smiled back at me. "Oh, I'll bet."

"Come on, Hol," her friend said excitedly, rushing back over to us. "Uncle Higgy says his car is out back, and he'll drive us over to the estate. It's right on the beach!"

"So I've heard," Holly said.

"You'll love it," I put in, figuring that good relations with Higgins' niece couldn't hurt. "There's also a pool, tennis courts, and a sauna. But the beach really is spectacular."

"That's what Uncle Higgy said. And it's completely private, too!" Hermione gushed. Holly smiled in return, though something told me that she was happier for her friend's sake than her own.

"OK, OK," Holly said. "Let's get our luggage—"

"No, he said he'd drive around front and pick it up," Hermione said, dragging her friend back towards the front doors.

"Definitely too young for you," TC muttered with a shake of his head. "Either one of them would give you a heart attack in about five minutes."

Higgins approached us before I could think of a retort, so I decided to needle him a bit instead. "So, your niece? Or grand-niece, I guess?"

"Yes, she is," he responded, looking a bit uncomfortable. "She's the daughter of my half-sister."

I smiled, recognizing that he'd be a lot easier to rile up than usual. "I thought you only had half-brothers?"

Higgins shook his head. "One brother, one sister, four half-brothers, and one half-sister."

"Your dad really got around," TC commented, stealing my line and causing Higgins to scowl.

I scowled briefly, too, remembering his brothers. I hoped desperately that the sister didn't look as much like Higgins as the brothers did, though judging from Hermione the woman couldn't look too awful.

"My half-sister has one daughter herself, Helen, and her daughter is currently the only grandchild out of all of the siblings, so of course we all dote on her to varying degrees. I haven't even seen her since... god, it must be nearly seventeen years now." Higgins paused and got a faraway look in his eyes as the memories rushed over him. After a moment, he shook his head and continued. "Far too long, I must say, but Hermione and I have been exchanging letters quite frequently for the last five years while she's been at school, so I've become fairly close to the girl."

"How long will they be staying on the estate?" I asked.

"I'm not sure — a couple of weeks at least," Higgins answered. Then his eyes narrowed. "I'm warning you right now, Magnum: I will not tolerate you taking any liberties with those young ladies."

"I was only saying hello—"

"I mean it," he said sharply, cutting me off, and from the look on his face I didn't doubt him. "Those two have had more than a few bad experiences recently. And no, I'm not going to explain what I mean by that — it's frankly none of your business. They are here to relax and get away from their problems, not to be interrogated, and I mean to see that they get that chance. I know very well how you tend to chase after Mr. Masters' young female guests, and I'm telling you right now that I will not stand for those two being treated in the same deplorable manner. Do you understand?"

"Yes, yes, I promise that I'll be a perfect gentleman, Uncle—"

"And don't even think about using that name," he hissed. "It would be best for your continued good health if you simply forgot that you ever heard it. Indeed, it might be wisest if you simply forgot that Holly Potter and Hermione Granger even exist."

I made a zipper motion across my mouth, locked an imaginary lock, and threw away an imaginary key, which seemed to only half-satisfy him.

"Uncle Higgy!"

I barely suppressed my smirk as he winced. He caught it anyway and glared at me before taking a deep breath and schooling his features into something less hostile. "Coming, Hermione," he called back as he turned and headed out. "Oh, and Magnum?" he said as he reached the door. "I'm putting Miss Potter's beer on your tab."

"What? She's the one who drank it!" I exclaimed, but he was already gone.

"Yeah, but you're the one who went behind the bar to get it," TC pointed out helpfully as he reached behind the bar and got himself one. "Besides, what do you care? You haven't paid your tab here in... what? Fifteen years?"

"Sixteen, but who's counting?" I grumbled. "And anyway, it's the principle of the thing."

"And it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that it's been three months since your last case?"

I tried not to scowl at the reminder of how tight money had become lately. It wasn't just the lack of income or my dwindling savings, either. I'd endured lean times before. No, it was this look that I'd caught Higgins giving me every so often. He was planning something, and I didn't think it was simply having two unexpected guests staying at the estate.

"What do you think he meant by 'bad experiences'?" TC asked as we returned to our table.

"I don't know, but I'm kinda curious about that."

"Even though you're supposed to forget that those two even exist?"

I shrugged. "I'm in charge of estate security, which means I have to know about the people staying there. Robin understands that. That's why he's always made sure I have files on any guests he lets stay there."

TC nodded. "I'd forgotten about that. But you don't have any files on those two, do you?"

"Nope. Which means I'm going to have to look into them myself," I answered with a hint of a smile. "Deep, undercover investigation."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."

"It'll be fine — you worry too much," I insisted, but my little voice was telling me that TC might have a point. Again. I usually listened to that voice, and almost always regretted it when I didn't. I couldn't tell you why I was ignoring it this time, but it had absolutely nothing to do with gorgeous red hair and bright green eyes.

No, it was because of the dark shadow that had briefly passed across those green eyes. I didn't think she was a threat, per se, but she definitely wasn't the happy-go-lucky recent graduate that she appeared to be. Or was pretending to be, perhaps.

And I wanted to know why.

"So, who was that old guy?" Hermione asked as they were driving along the highway.

"Thomas Magnum, head of security at Robin's Nest," Higgins answered.

"Is there really a need for constant security? Is the place safe?" Hermione asked, looking at Holly and biting her bottom lip. "If this isn't a good time, Holly and I can—"

"I assure you, the estate is perfectly safe," Higgins interrupted, his voice calm and reassuring. "There are no current threats, nor have there been any for some time now, and the security there is top-notch. I understand your concerns — and trust me, I would put you on the next international flight out of Hawaii if I even suspected that you might be in any danger. Few people even know the location of the estate, much less your connection to me, so the chances of anyone finding you here is astronomically remote."

"Is Magnum any good?" Holly asked as Hermione relaxed again.

"Magnum is competent, within his narrow sphere of expertise," Higgins allowed. "There is, however, limited call for his direct involvement in security matters. Mr. Masters is simply cautious, and likes to have Magnum on hand for when he himself or any high-profile guests are visiting."

"What does he do the rest of the time?"

"When he's not availing himself of Mr. Masters' property, or trying to sneak into Mr. Masters' wine cellar, he occasionally works as a private investigator."

"Really? I've never met a private eye before," Holly exclaimed, and Higgins looked a bit smug.

"It's not even remotely glamorous, I can assure you," he said. "In fact, if it weren't for sordid divorce cases and the like, I'm not sure he'd have much work at all."

"Which explains why he was at the club instead of out working, I suppose," Hermione commented.

"Quite true," Higgins responded with a glint in his eye. "He wasn't annoying you before I arrived, was he? Because being annoying is, sadly, one of his better skills."

"No, not really."

"I'm glad to hear it. With any luck, you won't be seeing much of him during your stay."

"Oh, does he have a new case?"

"Not that I'm aware of. However, a few years ago I contracted with Magnum to find and recover the Lost Art of the Ancients, a priceless scroll created by an ancient civilization that has passed into legend. He briefly succeeded, but managed to lose it again. Recently, I've come up with a plan for him to retrieve it, and I've been waiting for the proper moment to convince him to take the case up once more. I think now would be an excellent time."

"That's fine with me," Hermione said. "I don't think either of us are much interested in being around a lot of people right now."

"Nightmares?"

Holly nodded. "I know it's been a year, but between the castle repairs we had to help with, the politics I had to endure, and then completing our final year of schooling... well, it's not like we had any time to truly relax."

Higgins nodded in understanding. "You may not have been involved in battle over the past year, but you weren't given an opportunity to process your experiences, nor to recover from them. I can promise you that I will do everything within my power to ensure that Robin's Nest will be the sort of environment you need. And if that means finding ways to keep Magnum away and occupied, I will do so."

"I don't mind if he's around," Holly said with a shrug. "I thought he was kind of funny."

"You would," Hermione said, scrunching up her nose. "That cheesy moustache went out in the eighties, though. And don't get me started on his shirt. Even the Headmaster would have cringed."

Higgins smiled a private smile all the way back to the estate.