Patsy felt the colour drain from her face. How could he possibly know? She and Delia had been so careful, god Delia, what if he knew about her too? She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, her voice lost. Her mind was whirling, her eyes unseeing, ears ringing as Sister Julienne explained the severity of his accusation.
"Aye I know the severity Sister. But I saw her, outside that club they all go to… what's it called… Gateways."
They'd only been twice. Twice!
"And I just don't reckon it's right Sister, I don't reckon it's right at all… a woman like her doing what she does, how do I know she wasn't enjoying seeing my Tessie's… no Sister, I don't reckon it's right."
"You saw her outside a club Mr Roberts!" Shelagh exclaimed suddenly coming to life, "That doesn't prove much - how do you know she wasn't just walking past, waiting for a taxi, how do you know she'd been in?"
"I don't need to know, cos I saw her kiss another of them and not just a peck on the cheek Mrs Turner…"
Patsy couldn't bear it any longer. Her hand flew to her mouth as she dashed out of the surgery past the waiting area and into Doctor Turner's office. She knew she should have stayed and defended herself or gone straight back to Nonnatus House but she couldn't. She couldn't bare the thought of the others seeing her like this, especially Delia, she couldn't see Delia, not now. No matter how much she wanted, no, needed her girlfriend now was not the time and any interaction between the pair could lead to Delia's reprimand as well. No, she had to face this alone. She could hear Sister Julienne promising to take action and she could hear Shelagh trying her best to placate both of them. It seemed like an eternity before she heard quick footsteps marching to the door of the office.
Shelagh was struggling to keep up with Sister Julienne. Rarely had she seen such anger from the older woman or such disgust. She tried in vain to slow her down, make her take a breath but it didn't work as she slammed open the door, Shelagh's heart broke as she spotted Patsy collapsed on the floor of her husband's office, bawling. It was so unlike the usually composed, strong willed woman she'd employed a few years prior. Shelagh made a move to hand Patsy a handkerchief but Sister Julienne blocked her path.
"Stand up Nurse Mount." Sister Julienne said, her voice cold and hard. "I said stand up."
Patsy wanted to scream and tell her to go away, she wanted to remind her that she hadn't taken a vow of obedience, that she still had free-will, but instead she scrambled to her feet, her eyes slowly rising to meet Sister Julienne's.
"Why were you there Nurse Mount?"
Patsy didn't answer. She couldn't answer. She couldn't find an excuse and, to her utter surprise, she didn't want to find one.
"I'll take your lack of answer as an affirmative you were in fact there." The Sister said, "Won't you defend yourself?"
"No." Patsy whispered, her voice hoarse. Her head was screaming at her to deny it and move on, that she'd survive any investigation, but her heart refused. She didn't have the strength to lie to the Nun's face and by any means, she was an awful liar. Keeping secrets and facades, that was easy, but to tell an outright lie wasn't in her nature.
"Sister-" Shelagh began.
"Didn't you care that you would bring shame upon the work we do here? Did you think about your patients, your work or your fellow nurses? Have you no respect for your home?"
"Of course I care." Patsy whispered, "I love my job and I'm good at it… but this, I can't help this."
"You understand the moral implications of what you are telling me? You understand that this not only affects your job but also your position at Nonnatus House." Sister Julienne asked.
"Yes and if you can just give me-" Patsy began but was cut off.
"I'm afraid you must leave with immediate affect Nurse Mount. What you have done is nothing short of dis-"
"That's enough Sister!" Shelagh shouted pushing past her and towards Patsy, "Be reasonable, you can't expect her to find new lodgings so quickly."
"As you know full well Mrs Turner, the Church has views on this sort of immorality and there are rules that everyone must live by."
"Stuff the rules." The younger Scottish woman replied, "Immoral or not, Nurse Mount is a human being in pain. Surely you can allow her one more night."
"No." Sister Julienne replied, "She's lucky I'm not calling the police."
With that, the Sister in Charge left, leaving a broken Patsy and a shocked Shelagh alone. As she left Patsy let out a guttural sob, falling into the smaller woman's arms as Shelagh held her friend close.
"I'm so sorry." Patsy croaked, "So, so sorry."
"Shush. Don't you apologise, not to me." Shelagh replied, her voice tinged with anger as she replied the scene with Sister Julienne in her mind. "Oh Patsy." She breathed.
"I should leave." Patsy said clearing her throat and standing up straight as she pushed herself away from Shelagh, "I've so much to do and-"
"Go where?" Shelagh challenged, grabbing back hold of Patsy's upper arms surprising the red-head with her strength.
"I don't know…" Patsy admitted.
"I do." Shelagh replied. "You can stay with us."
"I can't. You'll be implicated, the gossips-"
"There's already plenty of gossip surrounding myself and Patrick, Patsy. I'm not letting you just walk out of here with nowhere to go and in nothing but your uniform. Stay with us, we can only offer you a settee, but it'll help you to figure things out and I'll know you are safe."
"Aren't you disgusted? Worried about your children?" The red-headed nurse sniffed as her mind replayed the many slurs she'd heard against queers over the years. She'd gotten used to the notion that she was unnatural, despised and alone against the world. To find she had a friend, an unlikely friend, so close to home was hard for her to digest.
"No Patsy, I'm worried about you." Shelagh replied, "Now come on, I'm taking you home and then I'll collect your things from Nonnatus. Do you want me to pass any messages on?"
"Will you tell Trixie? And then will you… Shelagh I can't drag you into this."
"You can and you will. What do you want me to say to Delia?"
"Delia?"
"I've got eyes… albeit they aren't the best."
"Tell her to keep her cool and…" she paused, struggling, "tell her to stay away. I don't want her to be found out as well." Patsy sniffed as Shelagh nodded rubbing the taller woman's arm gently. As she made to move away, the red-headed nurse grabbed her hand, "Thank you Shelagh, really… I…" Patsy trailed off, the lump ever present in her throat growing. Shelagh simply nodded and led Patsy to her home.
—
Shelagh didn't even bother to knock upon the archaic wooden door of Nonnatus House. She didn't bother to seek out Sister Julienne and she certainly didn't bother when Fred asked what had her looking so fierce. She continued straight on to where she could hear Sister Julienne asking for everyone's attention.
"… and so Nurse Mount will no longer reside here or work for us."
"But Sister-" Barbara began as Trixie too began to protest. Both Nurses evidently having joined the dots seemed put out that their friend wouldn't even be returning for her possessions.
"There will be no buts, no ifs and no maybes." Sister Julienne stated finality. "I won't go in to any detail but Nurse Mount is guilty of conducting herself in a most immoral way and as I am sure you are all aware there are rules to our way of life. There will be no further discussion-"
"And no love or compassion shown…" Shelagh interrupted causing everyone sat at the table to turn around. The look on her face causing even Nurse Crane to sink into her seat.
"Mrs Turner-"
"Trixie, might you assist me?" Shelagh's authoritative tone cut over the Sister's and Trixie nodded jumping from the table as Sister Julienne's face turned a shade not to dissimilar to the beetroot that was sat in front of her.
"Nurse Franklin, unless you want me to reconsider your position here I suggest you sit down."
"I'm sorry Sister Julienne but I have not taken any vows."
With those words Trixie flounced off, her hand reaching for Shelagh's dragging her to the small cell she shared with Patsy. As soon as they were inside Trixie turned to the older woman.
"What's happened Shelagh?" Trixie asked, "Where's Patsy? Is she alright?"
"She's at my house, she's rather shaken. She's… she's been accused of… acts of a homosexual nature." Shelagh whispered, "And she didn't deny them."
"Oh… oh my." The usually composed blonde nurse lowered herself down onto her bed, "Delia." She whispered. "She's on shift until midnight."
"Delia…" Shelagh began cautiously, unsure as to whether Trixie was hinting that she too knew or at least suspected whom Patsy had been caught kissing.
"Well they're thick as thieves aren't they?" Trixie said breezily, trying to dispel any suggestion that Delia was involved. Although Shelagh seemed unfazed and in Trixie's mind, really rather accepting, she wasn't sure if the older woman had suspected Delia at all.
"We'll deal with Delia when the time comes, for now I need you to help me gather her things. Sister Julienne-"
"Is an utter beast!" Trixie declared, her anger catching up with her. "To throw a young woman out on the streets just because she's found love. Although, I am surprised Shelagh, at you…"
"Me?"
"Don't take this the wrong way but what with you being the ex-Sister Bernadette I would have expected you to side with Sister Julienne. I know you still have faith…" Trixie suggested as she found Pasty's suitcase and laid it carefully on the bed.
"I do." Shelagh conceded, "But if you read the Bible, nowhere in it's teachings does it explicitly state homosexuality is a sin. We have to look beyond the words written thousands of years ago Trixie and move forward with the times. The Bible ought to be our guide not our jailor." Shelagh paused a moment letting her words sink in as she began to fold Patsy's array of checked shirts neatly into the case. "Maybe before I was married I'd have had a different opinion… I was naive to such lifestyles but it's as Patrick always says we ought to live and let live."
Silence fell between the two women as they made quick work of packing up Patsy's belongings. Trixie moved to tear down the pictures stuck above her bed and paused, her hand halting. "I knew." She murmured. "Or at least, I suspected. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to implicate myself, now I feel rather selfish."
"Do you think Patsy would have wanted you to know?" Shelagh questioned gently.
"Maybe not, but if I'd known I could have been a better friend." Trixie sniffed, her voice breaking as she reached under the bed finding the memory box she knew her friend had hidden there and began to wrap it in one of her scarves. She knew how much it meant to her friend and was eager that everything should survive the journey.
"You can be her friend now." Shelagh promised, her hand reaching for her friends. "She needs you now more than ever."
"You're quite right. I'm coming back with you."
"Trixie…"
"No, I am. You can't possibly lug this all the way home alone."
"Sister Julienne…"
"Sister Julienne can Tom, Dick and Harry for all I care." The blonde spat, her tone one of utter finality which found Shelagh nodding. It was something she'd always found admiral in Trixie - her devotion and loyalty to her friends and her bravery.
"Very well." Shelagh sighed, "Come along."
As the two left the room they caught sight of Sister Julienne storming towards them. Trixie made to turn but Shelagh halted her with a light hand to her arm, turning to face her former superior and confidant. The Sister-In-Charge stopped in front of them, her face still thunderous as she glared at them.
"What Mrs Turner chooses to do I have no control over but Nurse Franklin if you leave this convent you too will be looking for alternative arrangements." The Sister warned, "I forbid any contact with the former Nurse Mount. I have a duty to protect you against-"
"Against what?" The blonde asked confidently, "Against open-mindedness?"
"Consider your position Nurse Franklin."
"I have and I shan't live like a prisoner. Besides, I don't believe it's quite healthy for Mrs Turner to be lugging these suitcases all alone." Trixie demanded crossing her fingers behind her back in the vain hope that Sister Julienne might concede a little to her obvious reference to Shelagh's previous TB. "Come along Mrs Turner…" Trixie turned to leave, her hand gripping the suitcase so tight her knuckles were white with the strain.
"She- Mrs Turner." Sister Juliennne called, "I'm surprised at you… It seems you have forgotten who you are."
"Or maybe you've just over-looked who I am." Shelagh snapped in retort before both Nurses took their leave. The Scottish woman swallowing down the tears that threatened her eyes - she was almost certain she'd just heard the last thread of connection with Sister Julienne snap.