After wishing Doctor Turner good night Trixie had quietly tip-toed her way through the familiar passageways of the convent. She glanced briefly up at the board, happy to see it was Barbara who was on call followed by Nurse Crane and Sister Winifred. She cringed slightly. Sister Winifred had been out at a birth when the news of Patsy had been shared and the young nurse could only imagine what vile comments the woman would have to make about it all.
"Trixie?"
Trixie spun at the sound of Sister Mary Cynthia's voice, evidently just returning from a delivery herself.
"I wasn't aware you were on call." Trixie responded, unsure of what else to say. Her old friend turned nun had remained mute throughout Sister Julienne's announcement.
"It was Mrs Mackintosh." She replied, "Nurse Crane suggested I go seen as I'm the only one of us she trusts."
"Quite sensible."
"I wasn't expecting to see you here."
"I'm… The Turner's are packed to the rafters." Trixie deflected unwilling to reveal her real motivation for lingering in the hall way so late at night. For the first time in a long time she felt awkward by her old friends presence, unsure of her beliefs. Back when she was Cynthia the woman before her had made few comments on homosexuality but had never seemed overly fussed by it. She certainly hadn't been disgusted by Tommy Ward, the Doctor she'd stepped out with during training to save his reputation. But Cynthia was no more, replaced by Sister Mary Cynthia - a woman governed by an ancient book.
"How is she?" The Sister asked quietly glancing around.
"Perfectly wretched." Trixie responded.
"I felt so awkward at dinner. Part of me wanted to chase after you and Mrs Turner and offer a few words but the other half of me was duty bound to remain at the table with my Sisters. It was the first time since joining the order that I felt any form of… longing."
"Cynthia, whilst I understand your position it might have been nice if you had spoken up." Trixie realised she sounded harsh but she still struggled to understand the shorter woman's decision sometimes "If you truly care how Patsy is might I suggest you go and see her tomorrow."
Cynthia nodded before walking past Trixie and off to sort her equipment out. Trixie sighed sitting on the old wooden chair by the phone and lit herself a cigarette. Now more than ever she felt a longing for the sweet burn of whisky but she knew that was not the answer and since admitting her alcoholism to Patsy, Trixie knew that the Titan haired midwife had ridded their room of any trace of the stuff. To search for it would prove fruitless and besides she needed to be strong. She wasn't entirely convinced that Sister Mary Cynthia would go and see Patsy - in fact, she'd place money on her not going - it seemed there was a difference between tolerance and outward support.
"Trix?"
Her reverie was broken by a whisper by the woman she'd been waiting for.
"Delia." Trixie responded standing up, "I've been waiting for you."
"Me?" Delia frowned, utterly confused.
"Might you come into my room sweetie?"
The tired Welsh Nurse nodded. The only thing she wanted to do right now was crawl into bed. She had hoped that a certain Ginger Nurse would have been sat waiting up for her but she supposed that Trixie must have something rather important to say to her seen as she'd sat up all night. As they entered the room Delia was immediately aware of the lack of her girlfriend's possessions and indeed the lack of her girlfriend - Pats had the night off - she'd been at the surgery all day.
"Where's Patsy - and her things?"
"Sweetie sit down." Trixie coaxed but the Welsh Nurse shook her head.
"No. Where is she?" Delia demanded, nausea rising alongside panic, "Trixie!"
"She's at The Turner's."
"The Turner's? But why on Earth would she be there? Trixie?!"
"You must promise not to fly off the handle. Patsy wants you to keep a level head and quite frankly so do I."
"Trixie, you're scaring me." Delia admitted, a hint of tremor settling into her usually bubbly chirp.
"Patsy has left Nonnatus House. She was accused of acts of a homosexual nature."
"What?"
"One of the Husband's is a taxi driver he… he spotted her outside Gateways in a compromising position I suppose you might say." Trixie explained, "Sister Julienne was an utter beast to her but Mrs Turner took her in. She's safe. She's alright. Delia? Do say something."
Delia stood staring at Trixie, her mouth agape, tears running down her face. The blonde Nurse slowly moved to embrace the younger Nurse but Delia moved away, her hand rising.
"I need… I need to think about this…"
"Delia…"
"I promise not to do anything rash, I just need a minute in my room."
And with that the Welsh woman fled leaving Trixie utterly at a loss.
—
Patrick smiled as his wife entered their bedroom, his dressing gown wrapped tight around her, as she sauntered towards him, shedding it on the floor just by the bed.
"You tell me off for that." He murmured as he opened an arm out for her, pressing a kiss to her temple as she settled beside him, her hand absently playing with a button on his top. They led together in silence for a few moments cherishing one another's company.
"We're so blessed Patrick." Shelagh whispered as he pressed yet another gentle kiss into her hair. "People once gossiped about us."
"Yes." He replied unsure of where she was going.
"Forbidden love." She murmured, "That's what they all called it and yet here we are… married, able to live together with no eyebrows raised, able to walk out hand in hand, dance a tango and a foxtrot, kiss, cuddle and enjoy every aspect of our love."
"Sweetheart - our love wasn't illegal."
"Who decided that love has to be between a man and a woman Patrick?"
"I don't know Shelagh. All I do know is that I don't believe it to be wrong. I've known plenty of… people that way… a cousin of mine. He lives with a gentleman friend. Bachelors to the outside world." Patrick sighed as she turned to face him, "All we can do is offer our support, our love and when the time comes help them celebrate."
"Celebrate? Do you think they'll decriminalise it?"
"There's already plenty of campaigners."
"I hope they do." Shelagh replied.
"A lot of the intolerance comes from ignorance." Patrick murmured, "People don't understand it."
"I didn't understand it."
"No." Patrick hummed, "I remember you being quite horrified by Mr Amos."
"Not horrified Patrick just as you so eloquently put it… ignorant." Shelagh smiled. "Do you think she'll be alright?"
"Patsy?" Patrick breathed, "I hope so. She's a brilliant Nurse."
"I wish we could do something. There's bound to be an investigation and well you know what most people will say - where there is smoke there is fire." Shelagh murmured, her hand running through her Husband's hair moving his floppy fringe out of his eyes before snuggling deeper into his chest. Patrick remained silent but his mind began to work - maybe there was something he could do.
—
Delia sat staring at the vase of flowers that sat atop her dresser. Her mind wandering back to the many times she and Patsy had sat in this very position. Laughing, giggling, happy. She could still remember Patsy's words the first night she'd moved into this room about how long she'd wanted to sit and look at some flowers. Patsy, Delia thought, her gorgeous, brave, hygiene obsessed Patsy. She'd always been the more cautious of the two - watching their steps, looking over her shoulder, keeping her voice low. At first Delia had found the tall nurse, then blonde, rather aloof and then she'd thought her closed off until one night they'd gotten tipsy together - the night her life changed forever. They'd kissed in a drunken haze for a giggle but it hadn't ended there and one kiss had turned into many. Delia giggled to herself as she remembered them trying to fight their feelings until eventually, they gave in to it and it was then she'd found and known true happiness. What it was to be loved. But that love, no matter how beautiful in their mind was not desirable to the wider world and now her cautious lover had been caught in the crossfire. It didn't seem fair - she'd been the risk taker and yet it was Patsy who was suffering. Her thoughts were interrupted by a quiet knock and Trixie entering.
"Hello. No objection to me barging in?" The blonde nurse asked quietly.
"No." Delia replied sitting up, brining her knees to her chest as Trixie lowered herself down onto the foot of her bed. "I wasn't expecting you to come - I was rather rude."
"I wanted to see how you were - besides shock is a funny thing."
"I'm alright."
"Delia."
Damn Trixie and that tone. Damn Trixie and her compassion. Damn Trixie and her innate ability to see right through the mask and uncover your emotions. Delia shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek, her face falling into the crook of Trixie's neck as the blonde gathered her into her arms.
"Cry." Trixie breathed into Delia's ear, "Then talk to me." She let Delia cry for a few moments before whispering, "I know."
"It's my fault Trixie." Delia hiccuped, "I was so bloody insistent about going to Gateways. Pats had been reluctant yet I pushed and pushed and pushed and she gave in. If it wasn't for me, if I'd just left it-"
"You went twice, surely if she hated it as much as you're making out she wouldn't have agreed to a second outing." Trixie gently suggested.
"She didn't hate it." Delia corrected, "And the second time she agreed quite readily… but she's always been so concerned with being careful. Whereas me? I'm reckless. It should have been me being caught."
"Don't say that sweetie. Look, I know it probably doesn't seem like it but everything will work out." Trixie promised, "Try and look for the good in this…"
"What good?"
"Well, you're both loved and supported. You have friends who know and love and accept you regardless. You have allies Delia. The Turners, Sister Mary Cynthia isn't intolerant, me." Trixie promised, "And I can almost see Barbara now; utterly confused and no doubt asking numerous ridiculous questions over Sherbet lollies and coffee creams."
Delia laughed as she used her hanky to wipe her eyes. "I just hope the gossip dies down…"
"It will." Trixie promised. "Because in a few days there'll be a new drama and Patsy will be forgotten that's if it even gets around - although her not living at Nonnatus may raise some eyebrows. Still, I'm sure there's something we can do about that - but that is for tomorrow." Trixie smiled, "You get some rest. I'm heading to the Turner's first thing. Be ready for seven."
—
As all the other Nuns left the chapel, Sister Julienne remained stood stoically in her position. She wanted to spend a few moments alone to collect herself and try and find some inner peace. It felt as though a war was waging deep within her as the conflicts between how she felt and what she had to do battled for dominance. Outwardly, she was behaving in a way that people would expect her to - harsh, unforgiving, official - but that brick wall she'd built had cracks right the way through it. Doubt, regret and pain was setting in. She was glad when Nurse Crane had interrupted her this afternoon to tell her one of her patients was in labour - it had provided a temporary relief and distraction.
"Sister?"
She spun and noticed Sister Winifred. If she'd trusted her voice, she might have reprimanded her for speaking, but she didn't.
"Forgive me but are you alright?"
Sister Julienne nodded.
"Nurse Mount or Miss Mount has no right causing all this upset. I know it's affecting you Sister but you've done the right thing. It's a sin and you shouldn't feel guilty for-"
The older woman closed her eyes in an effort to block out Sister Winifred's rant. It should have made her feel better - someone else justifying her actions - but all it served to do was make her skin crawl, referring to Patsy as Miss Mount didn't seem quite right somehow. She took a deep breath as the younger woman paused for a moment, putting her mask back on and turning to her.
"I feel no guilt regarding Nurse Mount's departure Sister. I'm merely taking a few moments to organise my thoughts after a busy day."
As the younger Nun took her leave at her stony tone, Sister Julienne dropped to her knees and closed her eyes. If only what she'd just said was true…
A/N - Thanks again for all the reviews :)
I'll try get the next chapter up soon.