Delia sat motionless for a few seconds. She'd expected Patsy to shout, to rage, to vent. She'd expected to see her react as she would to any other sting - a slight welling of tears, a hardened mouth and bitter eyes. What she hadn't expected was for Patsy to completely break down. She watched in equal parts horror and self-loathing as the usually elegant and composed woman she loved descended into a pool of depression. As Patsy closed in on herself rocking as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, her breath so laboured she couldn't draw it - Delia finally sprung to action.
"Shush Cariad…" Delia murmured grabbing Patsy's hand and drawing it up onto her chest, "Look at me… look at me Patsy. Patsy, look at me!" Patsy eventually raised tearful eyes, "Now breathe with me… in… out… in… out."
After a few moments Patsy's breathing evened out but tears still continued to fall and her eyes had dropped to the floor. Delia knew that she had to speak up - to somehow reassure Patsy to trust her, but she feared if she did the damage would go beyond repair. She didn't want to push her lover any further away than she already had by trying to convince her that moving to Manchester was not a good idea.
"So that's it?" Patsy asked quietly as she removed her hand from Delia's chest as though she'd been stung. "I'm just trying to protect you. To protect what we have."
"I know that Pats but Manchester is not the answer." Delia said carefully. She was beginning to sound like a broken bloody record but she knew, deep in her heart, that Patsy was rushing into this and making a mistake.
"I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth." Patsy whispered, voice cracking, "I thought you'd do the same for me." Patsy finally dared to look into Delia's eyes and the Welsh woman was shocked to see almost a malice to their shiny blue hue, "It seems I was mistaken. Maybe this is all for the best after all. Maybe we aren't as…" Patsy broke off for a moment before looking Delia even straighter in the eye, "Maybe you don't love me as much as I thought you did, as much as I love you and if we don't love each other enough, if we aren't the most important people in each other's lives then what's the point? What's the difference between loving you and living a normal, easy life with a man?"
Delia swallowed the gigantic lump in her throat, ignored the tears clouding the vision and the ones streaming down Patsy's face. She ignored the searing pain that final statement had brought and instead leaned forward and grabbed hold of Patsy's hands tight - tighter still when she tried to snatch them back.
"Pats. You are the most important person in my life." Delia began, "I didn't think it was possible to love anyone as much as I love you. Every time I look at you or think of you it feels like my heart it going to burst right through my chest and just when I think I couldn't love you anymore, that there isn't room in my heart for anymore love, somehow it grows. It grows and grows and that Patsy is why I won't follow you to Manchester." By now, Patsy was openly crying, "Because I know that that isn't right for you, I know it isn't the answer and the only thing I want in all of this is what's best for you."
"But being in Manchester would be best for me." Patsy murmured.
"No it wouldn't." Delia refuted gently, "You'd be lonely. You'd be away from everything you know. You'd be without me, without Trixie, without your friends. You'd revert back to that closed up, straight-laced, troubled girl I first met. I don't want that for you Pats. If I thought you were going for the right reasons we'd already be on our way."
"I'm sorry." Patsy breathed running her thumb over the knuckle of Delia's hand, "I just… I thought…"
Delia simply pulled Patsy into her arms and held her.
—
"There is always an option."
Phyllis Crane was about to continue her fight for Patsy when a knock, urgent sounding and hard, upon Sister Julienne's office door broke it off. Sister Julienne called for whoever it was to enter and both women were surprised to see none other than Patrick Turner enter and close the door firmly behind him.
"Sister Julienne, I'm not going to get into any sort of argument with you over Nurse Mount. I respect that you must follow the rules set out by the Church but I do wish to ask you a question." He continued before she could respond, "I know that your position means you need to report Nurse Mount for immoral conduct so that a formal investigation can take place - you should have made that phone call instantly but with the lack of investigators banging down my door am I right in assuming that you have not, as of yet, made that call?"
Sister Julienne swallowed before nodding, "What is the reason you ask Doctor?"
"I'm here to offer you a solution."
"I'm not sure there is one." Sister Julienne admitted, she realised that her facade was slipping and the sadness was no longer disguised. Nurse Crane had broken down the barriers within the room and she felt Dr Turner had seen right through her all along.
"I know you care for her Sister." Patrick said, "I know you want what's best for her and I know that you are governed by duty. I don't pretend to understand your devotion to the Church but I do understand your devotion to the midwives. Sister, I'm going to offer you a way out… you won't need to report Nurse Mount."
"Doctor, as much as I do not wish to make her life any harder there are rules that those at Nonnatus must live by and-"
"Not if they're aren't at Nonnatus."
"Sorry?" The Sister questioned.
Phyllis smiled realising where this was going.
"I've yet to run the idea past Nurse Mount." Patrick said, "But in order for the Maternity Home to survive long-term we need to expand and host our own midwives. I'd like to offer the position to Nurse Mount. If she accepts she could hand in her resignation and as such, she would no longer be of any concern to you. If anything was to come of it, it would sit firmly upon my shoulders."
Sister Julienne was stunned into silence as she tried to work her head around what had happened, it seemed far too good to be true.
"What a perfect solution." Phyllis spoke up, "Sister Julienne… this is a most suitable suggestion don't you agree?"
"I… Yes." She finally managed.
"You'll accept her resignation and that will be that?" Patrick asked.
"Yes. Once again we are in debt to you Doctor Turner." Sister Julienne smiled, "Please ask her to come and see me personally."
Patrick nodded before taking his leave. He sighed with relief as he walked back to his car - now he just had to tell Nurse Mount.
—
Trixie didn't bother to wait for an answer to her knock upon the Turner's door. She knew that all the Turner's would be out except for maybe Angela who would probably be thrilled to have all her favourite Auntie's there at once spoiling her. As she entered she saw Patsy and Delia spring apart and her heart broke.
"Please… don't part on my account." Trixie smiled. "I only came by to see how you were and to see this little horror." She grinned as she noticed Angela playing with her toys at Patsy and Delia's feet. The young girl squealed in delight as Trixie picked her up and tickled her belly. "You might have a visit from Barbara when she finishes her rounds." Trixie said as she sat down on one of the chairs. "She was rather confused by it all."
"Confused?"
"She's naive." Trixie supplied, "I don't think she quite understands the how or the why or the what…"
"I really can't face twenty questions Trix." Patsy grumbled. "I've got at least twenty of my own. Top of the list are 'where the bloody hell will I live?' and 'what the bloody hell will I do?'"
Delia tried her best not to have an outward reaction to Patsy's words. The turmoil of an hour previous still fresh and raw. It was maybe for that reason that she hadn't noticed Shelagh and Patrick walk in.
"I can answer one of them!" Patrick's voice boomed clearly.
All three women turned at the sound of the Turner's entering their flat. Angela began to squirm in Trixie's arms as she noticed Shelagh and was soon transferred to her Mother's arms. Trixie made to stand and make room for Patrick to sit down but he shook his head quite happy to stand.
"I won't be here long." He smiled, "But I do have a proposition for all three of you. I'm rather glad you're here Trixie."
"Me?"
"Shelagh and I have been looking at the Maternity Home and how it's run and what exactly it's future ambitions are. We drew up lots of plans last year and one of them was always deemed a little…" he paused, "too far." He decided upon as the three women looked at him expectantly. "The plan would see the Maternity Home employ three midwives of it's own. Midwives who worked to our model. How that would affect Nonnatus House is no longer clear and I suppose that was the biggest problem at the time but times are changing and we need to change with them. The Maternity Home needs to offer a modern alternative alongside modern attitudes if we are to provide an effective alternative to hospital births in the long run."
"What are you suggesting?" Delia asked quietly, unsure if she was jumping to conclusions too quickly. It all seemed far too good to be true.
"I'm suggesting that you three take those positions. Nurse Busby you can finish your training with us. Nurse Mount, we'd like it if you would take on a sort of Matronly, Sister in Charge type role. We know you like administration. Nurse Franklin, we can't think of a better senior midwife." Patrick finished.
"What I've done… it'll tarnish you." Patsy murmured.
"Actually it won't." Shelagh smiled. "Sister Julienne agrees with the plan and would accept your resignation with no further questions asked. Mrs Roberts also sends her apologies and ensures us of her Husband's silence. She's quite keen to have her favourite midwife back… she speaks very highly of you Patsy."
"I don't know why…"
"I do." Patrick smiled, "Because you're a brilliant Nurse and Midwife. You might not be able to continue working for Nonnatus House but you can continue serving the people of Poplar. Just think about it. I know you might want a fresh start but this offer will stand for as long as you need it."
"I don't need to think about it. I accept." Trixie grinned shaking Patrick's hand, "Thank you."
"As do I!" Delia said loudly, shocking Patsy. The Welshwoman ignored the very loud yet unspoken 'What?' from Patsy and shook the Doctor's hand. She crossed her fingers behind her back as she turned to her lover. She knew this was rather forcing the red-head's hand but Delia also knew that Patsy loved Poplar and that she genuinely cared for it's people.
"I… thank you… I just… you're too kind." Patsy stumbled, "But if you're sure then I accept."
"I'm positive… and now I'm delighted." Patrick beamed shaking Patsy's hand. "We're moving into exciting times ladies."
"Quite. Oh Lord, I'll have to write a letter of resignation. I've never written a letter of resignation in my life." Trixie drawled dramatically looking at Patsy expectantly.
"Don't look at me." The tall midwife smirked, "I'm useless. When I moved off male surgical to midwifery training it was all done after a painful conversation with the Matron."
Trixie rolled her eyes and then turned her attention to Shelagh who frowned slightly unsure of why Trixie would be looking to her.
"Shelagh, what did you write when you resigned as Sister Bernadette?"
"Trixie!" Patsy exclaimed, half in amusement and half in horror.
"What? It's a perfectly reasonable question?"
"I didn't write a letter of resignation Trixie, that's not really how leaving the order works." Shelagh smirked, elbowing Patrick as he struggled to keep his laughter under control. It didn't go unnoticed by the older woman that Delia was doing the exact same to Patsy whose complexion was beginning to match her hair as she attempted to maintain her composure.
"Oh Rats."
"Don't worry Trixie, I'll help you." Delia finally took pity on the blonde who was having an uncharacteristic blonde moment.
As Delia began to explain to Trixie about the intricacies of writing such a letter, Patsy stood and moved over to where Shelagh and Patrick were stood smiling down at Angela. The young girl squealed as Patsy approached reaching for her almost immediately. Shelagh laughed and handed the girl over who immediately began to play with Patsy's hair.
"I'm so easily replaced." Shelagh joked as Angela chattered away to herself.
"I'm surprised she's not fed up with the sight of me." Patsy smiled. Although she wouldn't admit it to anyone but Delia she doted on the youngest member of the Turner family and loved to spoil her. Angela of course took full advantage and when at Nonnatus would often seek out Patsy when she wanted an extra biscuit - not least because Patsy would lift her up high enough to get the secret biscuit tin down. Patsy sighed gently, "I don't want to cast a dampener on proceedings but won't there be an investigation?"
"I can't tell you for sure no - but Sister Julienne won't recommend one if you get your letter of resignation in before the end of the day." Shelagh admitted, "But with Mrs Roberts not keen to pursue the matter and all the other Mother's convinced he was mistaken, I doubt it would be worth it. Sister Julienne has asked that you go see her personally."
"I can't go back there."
"Patrick seems to think Sister Julienne has been struggling. Apparently her views are not as rigid or in line with the way in which she has treated you."
"Hmm…"
"Patsy." Shelagh murmured, a thought coming to her, "Have you sorted out the Cubs yet?"
"The Cubs…" Patsy breathed. She'd completely forgotten about them and more specifically hadn't paid any mind to how it might affect her voluntary work with them. "I…"
"You don't think Sister Julienne would jeopardise that?" Patrick frowned glancing at his wife catching onto the tail end of the conversation.
"Maybe not Sister Julienne no." Shelagh conceded. Although she barely recognised her former superior these days, she did know that even she wouldn't punish Patsy that much and besides if what Patrick said was anything to go by, Sister Julienne wasn't the monster she'd been portraying.
"Then who?"
"Sister Winifred." Patsy whispered.
A/N - Sorry for the slow update… this is longer to make up for it! Been so busy!
Hope you enjoyed this! There's still plenty to come!