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Chapter 4, Studio time.
Walking into the studio building with Erik made me extremely nervous, it surprised me as I didn't understand why. I got used to singing in front of people, the nerves barely got to me anymore, so I couldn't figure for the life of me why he gave me the creeps about the singing part.
I greeted James, the doorman of the LSP Building, he was truly one of the loveliest people I had ever met. He had made me feel like I was family from day one, he knew who I was, but he didn't care and I loved him for it. James was one of the only people that I had let into the walls of my carefully built castle, I could call him in the middle of the night and he would come to my aide and vice versa.
I introduced Erik, and in return James tipped his hat and gave Erik his security pass. "Everything alright little one?" James looked at me with his grey eyes "You look pale" he said with a worried voice. I quickly kissed him on the cheek, my usual hello and goodbye routine with James. I saw Erik raise an eyebrow at this gesture "Don't worry James, it's not good for your health" I said softly. "I'm just tired"
James sighed "Just tired hmmm, watch out for yourself Kitten, you cannot fly on empty batteries" I smiled at him calling me by my nickname. "I will, I will….. Oh before I forget! I brought the tickets for the kids!" I grabbed my bag and pulled out the file with the tickets that I had asked Jake to reserve for me.
They were stage seat tickets for my next show in New York, with a meet and greet and a behind the stage tour from Christine Daemon. I had asked Jake to arrange everything, these kids were to stay in one of the fanciest hotels, flying first class, I told Jake to spare no expense.
They were all children from the orphanage that James and I worked at as volunteers, well James was there far more frequently than me, I just tried to put in some hours whenever I could. I was ashamed to admit that probably my biggest contribution to the place was the donations that I did, I knew the money would be well spend and I did not regret spending it on something as important as this, I just felt bad as it made me feel like I was buying my time.
"Kitten you bought them first class plane tickets! My god we are staying in The Roosevelt?" James was looking like he was about to faint, grabbing his pocket sash and dabbing his forehead repeatedly. "Kitten this is way too much we cannot accept this, you should get refunds for this….. we cannot" I grabbed his hands "James, now you shut up and accept the tickets or I will cancel your radio city tour" His jaw dropped to the floor "Radio city tour… How did you….. No you know what, I don't want to know….. I am going to radio city….." I gave him another kiss on the cheek and released his hands "Oh yes James you are going!"
I had spoken to some people as Christine Daemon and asked if a private tour was possible for one of my dearest friends, I rarely took in favors but I had to admit having some power in the industry came in handy once in a while. "I'll see you later James" I gave him a bright smile "yeah….. Kitten, thank you… thank you" He was still shaking his head, as if the tickets would disappear any second now. "It was nice meeting you James" Erik said behind me. James' head shot up "Take care of this one" he said "If something happens to her I will hold you responsible!" I gave him a shunning look "I will Sir" Erik's voice was full of promise, strong yet warm. It made me think about all the threats, terrible stuff will happen to everyone you love, and you will be the one to last the longest, wallowing in the suffering of everybody else. That was the last letter I had received, someone hated Christine, a hatred so fierce...
"We should go" I whispered to Erik, praying that my voice did not betray the fear that I felt at that moment. He nodded in agreement and we set off for the elevator, after entering our security cards in to the designated slots. When the lift finally came down, Erik let me go in first, then looked puzzled at all the level buttons. "The top floor" I said softly and he punched in 46. The lift started zooming, and I felt it move up.
"That was very generous of you" he said softly from his spot in the corner. I was fumbling with my hands "It is not enough…." And it was the truth, I could never have enough money to support everyone and everything that I wanted. So much money was needed in the world to set things straight, to perform research for illnesses, children that were dying in war zones. "It never is" I added. Erik's eyes widened a bit, yet he nodded his head. "I believe you….. yet it was still a generous gesture" he tried to look into my eyes, but I didn't want him to see how hard it was for me to keep back tears at the moment.
After what James had just said my heart had turned cold, and I was frightened to the core at the thought of someone getting hurt. I turned to look outside, the lifts at LSP! are completely made of glass, and today I was even happier about them being like this, as I could escape Erik's eyes. I sighed, it gave me tingles when he stared at me so intensely, I had no clue what to do when he did that. "Are you alright Liliana?" Damn him, could he for once not decipher how I felt! Damnation! I took a deep breath and turned around, he was still looking at me, but worried now, eyeing me as if he was trying to make out if he had to help me keep my head up or if he should leave me be and ignore what he had just heard.
I gave him a bright smile, something that came in handy from my media training, I could now lie, and behave as if I was totally fine without anyone noticing the tornado that was whirling deep inside. "All good" I said, I thanked god when the elevator gave a small 'ping' as to announce that this torture was over. We stepped into the hallway, where Jake was waiting for us.
As always he was wearing a well fitted suit and a big leather briefcase, his phone glued to his hand and his glasses slightly crooked from running around. I pitied him, he worked way too hard for me, I had often asked him if he wanted to hire an assistant to help him keep up but he had told me no each single time, not wanting get my secret in danger.
As we walked over to him I heard him talking to someone on his headset, discussing some final details about my performance in New York. "Can we continue this conversation in about an hour, I need to get on working with my little star" Jake smiled towards me. I chuckled "Hi Jake, everything ok?" I asked as we started walking towards the studio. "The usual, the usual" he huffed, he opened up the door for me.
The whole top floor was the working office for Christine Daemon, the management team that worked for Jake worked on the 45th floor, completely closed off from my office, studio and private quarters. At first I had protested but after some horrid long days I came to accept that sleeping on sofa for two straight days sucked. So now sleeping in the office during deadline nights and napping between school and work had become a usual staple after Jake had constructors build a closed of studio apartment right next to the studio and my office, which nobody but him and James knew off.
When we entered the sound system area Max our sound guy was already running around, setting up the whole system. He was exactly what you would expect from a sound geek. Always dressed in scrubby clothes, covered in tattoos with an eyebrow piercing above his right eye. A hat tipped slightly to the left of his head and espadrilles on his feet. He walked over to me to give me a hug "heya single lady" I chuckled, I guess I could say everybody had some sort of a nickname for me. "hey Max, how you doing?" I hugged him back. "Ok, ok, doing fine. I set up everything the usual way, should be warmed up by the time you are ready" he gave me a wink. "Cool, thanks Max"
I turned to look at Erik "I'll show you the place" but Jake cut me off "I'll do that, you go warm up, and dress up, that skype interview is right after the recordings and that photo shoot is still on standby so just keep that in mind. Besides the reporters for the video conference about your performance will be on the line at 8 so we have absolutely no time." And with that waterfall of words he pushed me towards my closet/vanity room.
I gave Erik a pitiful look as I closed the door, boy he was in for a joyride, I had grown accustomed to the weird hours and the traveling in between everything. I just hoped he would adjust easily, for his sake.
She closed the door and he was left standing there with Jake. "So the room that she just vanished into is mostly big closets and a large vanity with a safe for her spare performance masks and some jewels we keep on site for interviews and such." This guy is just one bonk of adrenaline I thought as Jake just kept on rumbling about what to find in which room.
"I am glad you're around man" Jake sighed "Liliana is such a struggle when it comes to her protection detail, it is the only part she hates about all this." He motioned for me to follow him. "it's a good thing Anne keeps her grounded on these sort of topics, she needs that"
We were now back in the main hallway and Jake pointed at some doors where the kitchen, his office and Max his sound mix room where established. Then he walked over to a more secure door with a password lock and two separate key locks. "I am guessing these are her quarters?" I asked Jake while he was punching numbers into the password lock. "Yup, good guess" he answered with a chuckle.
The lock made a small beeping sound and it swung open the massive steel door. "When I am here, or when she is present we don't use the double locking system but at all times the moment we leave everything is locked up and secure. We are not taking any risks." I nodded "noted" Jake looked satisfied at my curd answer. "A personal set of keys and a phone with the system software for the lock have been ordered for you, so within a day you'll have access to everything too."Great "I need to know who has access to this part of the floor" I asked Jake. As he swung open the door. "Sure, only me, Raoul and Liliana have a set of keys and a phone with the locking software, but James has a master key of the building so he has access to the floor, but not to her quarters same goes for Max, he can access her office but not her quarters. Also the door automatically locks after 30 seconds of the opening up of the lock so you have to get in quick"
We walked into a grand office with fancy fixtures after the door had shut behind us with another beep. The space was airy and bright, with large glass panes that showed the city scenery. A set of white leather couches that where set in a circle lead up to a large desk with four screens and a separate laptop. There was no other door so I looked at Jake in confusion."Hidden quarters somewhere?" He laughed "Yes I am very proud of this one, it had a price but boy did it payoff" he walked over to the desk and showed me that on the side panel there was a tiny piece of wood that could be removed by moving it to the side by about an inch. It revealed another pass-code panel in which he punched a 4 digit code. "Same software" I asked. He nodded in agreement, and a small beep came from the panel in agreement.
A soft humming, buzzing noise came from the corner of the room as two panels of the left wall slowly sunk into the floor showing a metal door. "Amazing architecture" I said "You cannot see a trace of the panels" as I walked over to inspect the part of the wall which had just opened up to show its hidden treasure. Jake smiled "Yeah it costs something but you know, her safety is something not to be trifled with" I nodded in agreement. "So on this panel is a palm reader, only Liliana's or my hand can open this, but your palm will be added to the security so you can enter the room too" he said while placing his palm in the designated square scanner. A green light flaring up as his palm was verified and accepted, unlocking the panel and showing a small but bright room.
"It is not much" Jake said while stepping inside "A small kitchen, bathroom and bedroom, so she can rest, study a bit, but generally she takes her in-between naps here" As I stepped in I saw a desk loaded with books standing next to the window, giving daylight to study at the desk and brightening the room with the sparse sunlight that it let through. On the other side was a queens size bed, also covered in books, which made me smile. It was like I was looking at a smaller version of her bedroom at home. There was a small coffee table with two comfy chairs which took up the remaining floor space.
Jake swung open one of the two doors in the room, which revealed a small bathroom. "She hears an alarm when someone opens the door while she is here" Jake pointed towards the screen that hung beside the metal door, it showed the inside of the office, which was now empty. Then he walked over to the other door which showed a small simple kitchen. "All right, so there are no other ways to enter this room right? No air vents or such?" I asked Jake while looking around the room "Nope, the circulation comes from the office so there is no other point of entry possible, oh and in case of a fire or any other threat the door opens for 30 seconds to let you out of the room but shuts afterwards, you need the start up the system again via the software to open it up again after such an event happens"
A sound like a doorbell rang, which made me turn around and look at the small screen, presuming it was the alarm Jake had told me about just now. The small screen showed Liliana standing in front of the door, but, well she wasn't Liliana anymore as she had changed from her normal jeans and sweater ensemble to a royal blue lace cocktail dress with a matching pair of heels. Her hair had been curled and thick locks flowed down her shoulders, a diamond necklace sparkling around her neck. Her face covered by one of the diamond studded white lace mask, it was very delicate with almond shaped cutouts which were lined with silver threading making her blue eyes stand out even more.
The door flung open and seeing her in reality, right there in front of me took my breath away. She was looking down at her phone when she entered the room. "Jake, something is wrong with my phone I cannot start-up the song lyrics that I wrote on the encrypted disc" That's when she looked up, and god she should not have done that, those blue eyes looking up underneath thick lashes. how can I tell you… you are beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. "Oh Erik" she said while looking at me "Jake showed you everything?" She cocked her head slightly. I quickly swallowed and regrouped myself "Yes, yes he did. I believe I am fully up to date now" She gave me a smile "Good"
She turned to Jake "Could you please order another bed for the room? I cannot let Erik sleep on the couch while I am here, and with the deadlines coming up I am afraid that we will be here quite often" I tried to protest but she cut me off. "Trust me Erik after two days on the couch you will pray for a bed, I am speaking from experience" She gave a light chuckle "It will be tight, but we will make it work somehow" Jake nodded "consider it done, I'll have someone look at your phone" she handed it to him "Thanks Jake. So for today's recording." She pushed the button to open up the door again "I want to give the track another try, fumble a bit with the different tunes and complete the single, when was the deadline again? In two weeks right?" She asked Jake as they started leaving the room, and I quickly followed.
There is no way I will be able to sleep in the same room as her, god has she any idea what she does to me? As we made our way back to the studio the thoughts kept on rolling through my mind. I need to come up with an excuse, something, I cannot get to close with her, this must remain professional. I….. "Everything alright Erik?" Liliana had kept the studio door open for me, looking at me with a slight worried face. I must have looked mad at that moment, looking at her like I was fighting an internal battle "Why wouldn't it be" I said jokingly. She grinned "You tell me" she said with a chuckle. Now I was grinning too, how did she manage to do that? Always make me forget every worry. "Liliana? Systems ready!" Max yelled from inside the studio. She gave me a half smile "Duty's calling" and she turned away from me walking towards the studio booth. Her curls jumping slightly up and down from the movement she made. Putting on headphones, while giving a thumbs up to Max showing she was ready, taking her position behind the microphone.
As I stood there waiting on the music to start I felt him staring, as if his eyes where scanning every inch of my body, taking in every part of me like he was etching me into his brain. I couldn't help but look up and glance at him, his emerald green eyes focused on my face. I blushed and closed my eyes, trying to focus on the music, which took much more effort than usual.
Knowing I would have a headache after this I sucked in a breath and tried to sing the song to the best of my ability. It was a power ballad I had written during one of the times I had been stuck in bed after one of my fainting spells. It embodied all the pain I had felt being stuck and not being able to get up, remembering and replaying shards of the memory that the accident had engraved in my mind. It was full of emotion and it made my voice crack at the end of the song, as I took my last breath to sing the final line a tear I had been fighting to hold back welled from my eye and slowly rolled down my cheek. It made me aware of where I was and I opened my eyes for a split second, something I shouldn't have done as I caught Erik's eyes, his beautiful emerald green eyes.
He looked pained, as if my voice had stabbed him, and he was fighting the sound trying to eliminate it from his memory. It released a feeling of doubt in me, was the song that bad? Did I make it sound bad? Why was he looking like that? "Liliana?" Max whispered in my ear, through my headphones. I ripped myself from Erik and my head shot towards Maxs spot, inside the sound mix booth. "Djeez" I heard him sniff "Fuck man, how can you sing like that, that was awesome." Another sniff. I saw him dab his eyes. "Was it good?" I asked softly, looking from Jake to him and back to Jake. The only thing he did was give a double thumbs up, unable to speak. Right next to him Erik was still standing motionless, although his expression had changed he was no longer looking pained, yet rather looking like he could not believe what had just happened.
It stirred my whole body, why did I feel like this? Why did he make me feel like this!? Regroup! It doesn't matter what he thinks, your fans should like it. YOU should like! I huffed, indeed what did I care! My throat felt a bit dry so I asked to take ten and resume with the single after the break. Jake gave the ok sign so I left the booth to grab my water bottle and join Max in his sound mix booth. "Girl, if this is not a winner I am resigning! Where is all that pain and emotion coming from? You blew me away!" Max stood up to hug me, he rubbed my back a little and released me grabbing my shoulders and shaking me as if to shake the answer out of me. "I don't know! It just happens… I guess it just releases another part of me" I laughed. Max shook his head "Well whatever it is, keep on doing it!"
He threw a starburst to me from his ever present reservoir of candy, I caught it and took place on the bar stool that he had at hand for me. While popping the starburst in my mouth I asked him if we could try some different backgrounds for the bridge part. "Sure, sure we can make it a bit more bassy I think, would probably enhance your voice even more!" He replied while turning and moving some different buttons. "By the way, what the hell did you do to your human shield?" My eyes widened So Max had seen it too! "So you have already made up a nickname for him huh?" I said while laughing. Max just point his hand like a pistol and figuratively fired it up in the air "But what do you mean?" Had he seen the same as me? My curiosity flared up. "It was like you where punching him with needles" Max was now looking at me. I looked at my hands "Oh? I don't know, I wasn't really looking at him" That was partly the truth I had only tried to avoid him at all cost….. "Well maybe you should ask if he is alright, it looks like he was moved by your little performance girl" Max gave me a mischievous look, raising his eyebrows a couple of times. I punched his shoulder "Oh shut up! He is just part of my protection detail! This is strictly a professional relationship" But Max started laughing "Girl if I wasn't straight I would date the guy! Are you sure there is not a teeny tiny sparky flame lighting up in that heart of yours, or should I say his? Cause, damn I think you have another big fan." He was still giving me looks, and I was no longer able to deny anything, so I hopped of my bar stool and stole another starburst from his preserves, giving him a strict look. "You of all people should know I am stone cold from the inside Max" Reminding him of the time he had asked me out and I had turned him down as I loved him to much as a dear friend. "Ow and another arrow through my heart" Max said while gripping his chest and giving me a wink. "Go get him tiger" he said while I was making my way to the door still laughing as I knew he must be on to me and my slight sliver of feelings towards Erik.
I turned and made a movement of holstering my gun to my side and tipping my figurative cowgirl hat. Max laughed and returned his focus to the multitude of buttons and screens. As I left the sound mix booth I looked over to where I had last seen Erik, I felt this need to ask him why he had looked that way, I was trying to figure out why he could have looked that way. Jake loved the song, right? Max was blown away, so why had he looked like he absolutely hated the song. It was driving me mad, but as I looked at the booth where Jake usually stood I saw that they were in a discussion about something, and I didn't really want to bother them, well actually I didn't want to ask Erik that question with Jake present. As I am afraid if the outcome of his answer was negative I would not be able to hide it with a smile.
There would be another chance to ask him in the car, or perhaps tonight. So instead of barging in I made my way back to my booth picking up my headphones on my way in. Adjusting them a couple of times before they were set up comfortably on my ears. "Liliana you ready?" Max was looking at me from his booth, ready to pull the switch and start the music. "eehm just give me a second" I fumbled with my sheet music, trying to get rid of my nerves. "Just breath in and out" I heard Jake's' calm and relaxing voice through the headphones, he had known me too long to know when I was nervous and was lacking courage. I looked up at him, he was talking straight into the microphone. "You can do it, I know you can! Just close your eyes and think you are in your own home, playing on your piano with no one around. Nobody is watching, nobody is listening, you are just fumbling around with the keys." I had closed my eyes and my lips crept up into a small smile. I was imagining the coziness and silence of my own room, it calmed me a bit. Not taking all the nerves away but enough for me to relax and give Max a sign to start the tape.
The new single was more upbeat, a bit of rock with a hinge of top forty melody, it was edgy, happy and fun. It made me want to dance and I saw from the corner of my eye that Max was moving with the beat which made me smile while I sucked in another breath to belt out the final note of the bridge which leaped into an instrumental part. I was too much of a coward to look at Erik again so I kept my eyes at Max who gave me a thumbs up as I sang the second verse and after a while completed the song with the last note.
We did the single a couple of times, trying out different beats and melodies, listening to what sounded better until Jake knocked on the glass and pointed to his watch giving me the sign that the interview would start soon. I looked at Max and he stopped the music, I plucked the headphones from my ears and hung them beside the microphone, grabbing my sheet music and moving towards the exit of the booth. To my surprise Erik was already standing there, opening the door for me as I approached. I looked at him, unsure of what he was thinking "eehm thanks" I murmured. He nodded and started walking behind me again as I made my way to the conference room, it was on the other side of the hallway.
Nothing exciting about it just the normal large oval table to gather everyone around and the flat screens that are mounted to the wall for interviews such as these. Jake was making sure that everything was in order, nothing in sight of the camera that could be traced to me or the building. He seated Erik in the corner, right in the opposite way of myself, so there was no way he could be seen. "Five more minutes till we are live" he said from his seat right next to me while fumbling on his phone. "Oh yes here" he said while giving me back my phone "you weren't connected to the network shares anymore, so the tech guys fixed it, they also updated the security and deleted some bugs in the system" I smiled "Thanks Jake!" I accepted the phone, I should pay those guys a visit sometime, thanking them for everything that they do. "One more minute" And the screens turned on, showing the LSP! Logo. I took a deep breath, here we go, give them a big smile! And I gave the screen a bright smile as four different people plopped up.