Peter has a hard time understanding what it was that just came over him. He lies there in his Wendy's arms, panting vigorously, his body jellied. He's unable to move and he stays wrapped up in her in shock. He feels as though his entire existence has shattered into a million pieces, and then put itself back into a clearer, more redefined puzzle. He's damp with sweat, and both of their bodies are warm, moistness dripping onto the sheets.
"Oh Peter," Wendy murmurs warmly in his ear. He takes a deep breath as he finally realizes he's back in the real world. At least, one of the worlds he knew. He pulls his face out of her neck and looks at her, wide eyed.
"I can't begin to fathom that this is what I've been missing," he says quietly, sighing heavily and pressing his lips to hers passionately. He moans contently into her.
"That was incredible," she whispers when they pull away, gasping for air.
"Did you feel what I felt?" he questions, stroking her hair lovingly. "Did it feel like the entire world was exploding into white hot pleasure?" He hopes so dearly he could have the same effect on her that she has on him.
"I never reached my climax…" she stutters, "But I have felt that before, and it is very amazing. I told you it would be," she smiles softly stroking his face. But Peter disregards the second part of her answer.
"Why couldn't I make you…climax?" he questions, upset that she didn't get everything he did. He wanted her to be as happy as he was.
"It was my first time Peter…my body was adjusting to the pain, the pleasure was only second in command," she shrugs. "But I loved every minute of it! You did everything right, I promise," she kisses his heated cheeks. "Your face is red… Are you tired?" she asks. He thinks for a moment, and then it hits him.
"Yes, I am," he admits, deciding to pull himself out of Wendy and become two separate people again. He whimpers, his member still sensitive with the aftermath of his supposed 'climax', as Wendy had called it. "It's so sensitive," he whispers, gripping himself and trying to ease some of the pleasure away. It felt too good.
She pushes his hands away from his manhood, "don't touch it. The feeling will go away."
"How do you know so much about this?" he questions, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close despite the wet sheets and their moist bodies.
"I'm educated. They teach us these things in school…all of the other stuff I know I learn from other people my age. They do things, and then they talk about it…it's common knowledge to know things." She shrugs; knowing deep down that Peter was never going to know what being social meant. He only knew some people, and he was ruler of those people. He was not used to being equal.
He says nothing. He just closes his eyes and she buries her face in his neck.
"Come away with me. I have given you everything I have; my hidden kiss, my heart, my soul, I've given you my body…and I'll give you my future as well. Please, don't ever leave my side Wendy. I cannot live, I cannot breathe, I cannot be happy ever again if you aren't forever mine." Peters plead rings in the air, creating a deadly silence and a sacrifice hanging on the end of Wendy's tongue, waiting to jump. She must choose between Peter and her life here, in the real world. She has given him up once, could she do it again now that Peter has offered to be everything he couldn't be before? Was she selfish to want to stay here with him?
She could not believe that this boy, the cocky, adventurous, smug, talented little boy that she met years ago was here now, making this plea. He was begging her. It was all up to her now. She could not be so selfish! She had taken everything from him; she'd taken his virginity for heaven's sake! Then again, he'd taken hers too. Difference is she understood the importance of it, whilst Peter remained in the dark about everything grown up. To him it was just doing something that felt incredibly good with the girl he loved.
Maybe she was underestimating his understanding…maybe he really did understand the significance of what they'd done.
"Peter I-," Wendy starts.
"Shhh, you don't have to give me an answer now. I'll stay here as long as it takes for you to say yes," he says, kissing her forehead and holding her tighter. She groans in frustration.
"You shouldn't want me so badly," she mutters. He pulls back to look at her, startled.
"Why? Am I strange?" he asks, terrified that he might have done something wrong.
"Of course you're strange! We all are, in a way. But what I cannot understand is why you would try so hard to get me to return to Neverland with you…I thought you only wanted to be a boy, to have fun and live a life of eternal youth."
"You don't understand Wendy," he mutters, rolling onto his back and crossing his hands on his chest, looking at the ceiling.
"Enlighten me."
He pauses, eyes darting around the ceiling, tracing patterns and scanning over possible responses in his head.
"It's as if all the color drained out of my life, I was seeing in black and white every day. There was no happiness anymore. I felt more alone than I knew possible." He looks down at her, sad eyes recalling the feelings of the past few years. "I've never known the meaning of true pain until you were gone. It's an agony I wouldn't wish upon anyone." He looks back up at the ceiling. "Except Hook," he adds menacingly but strikingly calm.
His words hit Wendy hard. Peter was never going to let go of her.
***Several weeks later
"Rise and shine!" Tootles burst through the door and ripped the sheets off of Peter. The startled boy fell out of the bed with a yelp and drew his knife out of the sheath, groggily prepared to fight to the death. "Put that thing away you look like a loon," Tootles scolded, beginning to make Peters bed.
"Well when you give me a heart attack it's a little hard not to overreact. What time is it anyway?" Peter mutters, wiping his eyes and putting his knife away. He scratches his chest and glances at himself in the mirror. Ever since he's been in this world with all of the reflective surfaces he was reminded everyday how different he looks. He notices hair on his face that wasn't there before. There's hair everywhere…
Tootles notices Peters silence and decides to speak up.
"How are ya' mate?" he folds the blankets calmly and routinely as usual, trying to hide his curiosity. Peter always has something to say.
"Tired. Why you gotta wake me up like this every morning?" he grumbles, grabbing his discarded shirt off the floor. Peter hated clothing, and the longer he stayed in this world the more he wished he could just wear his vines for the rest of eternity. Every night he would go to sleep in this guest room with the resolve of wearing the pajamas all night, but he never accomplishes it.
"Darlings' orders," Tootles shrugs, putting extra blankets in the bin and turning towards the window, following Peters disconnected gaze. "I haven't seen you fly in days Peter," he remembers.
"I'm not sure if I know how to anymore," Peter admits sadly, never breaking his gaze.
Tootles gasps in awe, "you're Peter Pan for heaven's sake! You must fly!" He cannot believe that this cocky, adventurous, youthful boy had already forgotten how to soar. It's a travesty of Peter's life, and it must be set back into place.
"How can I Tootles?" Peter looks at him, giving nothing but a mere shrug. "Wendy won't come to Neverland with me, and without her I cannot be happy." He sighs, looking down. Tootles notices a slight English accent already starting to thread its way onto Peters tongue, he was changing.
"Miss Wendy would never marry a traitor, and if you abandon your kingdom that's exactly what you'll be." Tootles storms out of the room angrily, leaving a disgruntled and groggy Peter speechless.
After a few minutes Peter collects himself, dressing to the best of his ability. What Tootles had said rang in his mind like grenades, exploding off the walls in a never-ending war. His choice was not as simple as he'd thought; Wendy or Neverland. He'd chosen Wendy and decided to stay in England, but what he didn't consider was how Wendy would feel if Neverland lost its leader. How could Neverland feel…?
Familiar jingling starting buzzing in his ear, and for a moment he flicked the noise away, afraid there was a bug trying to eat his ear off. Then he realized he recognized the tone.
"Tink?" he blurted, remembering the name from somewhere deep in the depths of his mind. Tink floated in front of him steadily, and he saw very clearly the look of betrayal and hurt on her face. He'd forgotten about her.
He sighed heavily and sat down on the bed, head buried in his hands. What was he becoming? How could he be forced to make such tough decisions? This is why he didn't want to stay in this world in the first place. If he had never met Wendy he would still be a happy child! He would have never forgotten Tinkerbell.
"What's happening to me Tink…" Peter's tears dampen the young fairies hair as she hugs his cheek, stroking his nose. Tink tries to speak, but Peter has begun ranting. "I can't do this! I don't know how girls think, I thought it would be simple, just come to England and get her but no, she has to act all weird…"
How so, Peter?
"She treats me differently, she doesn't play anymore. She knows more things," he trails off, trying to pinpoint exactly where the problem lies. He wipes some of this tears away and sniffles, glancing at Tink who was sitting on his knee.
You've both grown; there will be changes you have to accept.
Peter shrugs and rubs his eyes. "I just don't get it…we've done something Tink, something big, and now she won't talk about it," he mutters, trying to put together why Wendy has gotten so tense about the subject, the subject of making love.
What have you done…? Tinkerbell sounds nervous.
"Well…a while ago…we were kissing, and we took our clothes off…and we did what grownups do; only I still felt old enough to do it because I really wanted to… Do you know what I mean?" Peter tries to explain but Tinkerbell remains silent, expression frozen and undeterminable. Peter decides to try to further explain. "I put myself inside of her, and we made love, that's what she called it, and it was the most…the best…I can't describe it. But I loved it, and she won't do it again or talk about it," he breathes heavily, rubbing his face and running his hands through his hair. Tinkerbell is silent for a moment.
You had intercourse Peter. Tinks tone is hushed, shocked even.
"What? No, it's making love," Peter corrects.
There are many different things to call it, but sexual intercourse is the actual term. Still, Tinkerbell's voice is guarded, contemplative. She sounds disappointed in him, and truth be told Peter was disappointed in himself. He'd let himself grow up, and that was too much for his heart to handle.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do Tink, I need her but I need my home as well."
Peter, did Wendy ever mention wanting to be a mother?
He thinks. "I think she might have, I know we played mother and father back in Neverland." He ponders the question further before moving on. "Why?"
Has she ever told you that she wanted to have your children? Tinkerbell's tone is suddenly rushed, and Peter feels his heart beat faster, his breath quickening. He's becoming frightened.
"What do you mean my children? I thought only women could produce children," he looks at her, confused and anxious, wondering exactly where this was going.
Answer my question! Peter jumps at her fierceness.
"No! She's never said anything like that," Peter whimpers.
To make a child is not only a woman's job, but a man's too. It's done by doing exactly what you did.
"Making love…is how you make children?" Peter stutters, finding it hard to breathe.
Yes. People do it for the same reasons you did, but sometimes, if they aren't careful…they could get pregnant. You could be a father. A real one.
After hearing this, Peter collapses in a wispy faint on the floor.