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You were in and out of sleeping. You kept getting small parts of reality before you would fall back into your delirious sleep.
You woke up seeing Han placing Kylo on the ground of the ship. Blood pooling around his body.
Then you were asleep, dreaming of when Kylo was shot and feeling all the emotions of loss and confusion again.
Next you woke up when you were being put on a bed when you arrived at the resistance base. You see them move Kylo onto one as well. They run away with him quickly. You try to scream out for him but you couldn't find your voice.
You passed back out. You dreamed of when you made a pillow fort and Kylo came in a bit you. It seems like such a simple memory now.
Next you wake up while being operated on. You look to your right to see Kylo also being operated on. They took off his mask. You hear them yell when they noticed you were awake.
Then you were back in your dream world. You heard Kylo say I love you but then he was trying to kill you back at the StarKiller Base. It was more like a nightmare.
You could hear a faintly beeping in the background of your dream. Then someone saying "we are losing her". You felt jolts run through your body. It happened a few times.
You didn't wake up again. You were in a constant dream world. Although, you would have more nightmares than dreams. Your nightmares consisted of either Kylo or Dabbo killing you. Or sometimes you would dream of Kylos death. It was terrible. You often wondered if you were dead.
Every once and awhile, you could feel someone touch you or even talk to you but it always felt so far away.
Then one day you opened your eyes.
Where am I? What the hell is going on? Why is there no one around?
You look around and notice you are in the med wing of the base. You try and remember the last thing that happen. Everything came back in flashes.
Kylo? Is he alright? Is he here?
You had so many questions but no one was here to help you! You rip your IV out and start to get out of the bed. Once your feet hit the ground, your legs gave out and you fall. With determination, you manage to get back on your feet but within a step, you fall again. You yell out from frustration.
You see doctors rush in.
"Miss, you shouldn't be doing that." They tell you.
"Well no fucking shit."
"Please get back in the bed."
"Only if you tell me what is going on."
You sit back in the bed waiting for your answers.
"Well, are you going to tell me? I don't have time for this!"
"Sorry, well its been about a month since the incident. You lost a lot of blood but we managed to heal you but you got an infection in your blood. So we were forced to put you in a coma to heal. When we tried to bring you out of the coma, you didn't wake up. "
"Ok, where is Kylo? What happened to him? Is he ok?"
"I don't have clearance to share that information."
"Are you kidding? Then get me someone who does? Get me Han."
Ten minutes later, Han ran through the door.
"Kid, you are awake! Its so good to see you. These morons were supposed to tell me when you woke up. How are you feeling?"
" Confused mostly. Where is Kylo? Whats going on with him?"
"Geeze Kid, you just wake up and thats the first thing you want to know. He almost killed you."
"Han, tell me. "
" He is ok physically. We have him locked in a cell somewhere on the base. We have a arm brace on him that causes him to not be able to use the force. And no, I am not telling you where he is."
"What do you mean physically? And why can't I know?"
" He is going crazy. I think hurting you really tore him apart. He has been demanding to see you. He has completely destroyed all of his things in his cell. We have just stopped replacing things at this point. If you see him, I don't know how he would react. I can't risk him hurting you again. "
"Han, he needs to see me. Please, I just need to see that he is ok. If he sees that I am alright and I don't blame him, maybe he will stop this behavior. Please."
" I can't, Kid. "
"You know, I will just find a way. Just do this the easy way and let me see him."
"I'll think about it but you need to get your strength back.
"Ugh, come on."
"Why do you want to see him? He did this to you?"
"I love him."
"After, everything he did to you?"
"Yes. I know it is crazy. I just know the man he can be. He has shown it to me before. He has a constant battle going on within him. Snoke has corrupted him too much but I think I can be the one to bring him back."
"My son is one lucky man to have you."
"So you will show me to him?"
"No!"
You were back up on your feet in no time. You asked multiple people where Kylo was and no one would tell you. You knew you would find him one way or another. With his force being suppressed, you couldn't even reach out to him. When you did try, it was like an wall blocking you. You would wander the halls trying to find the place where they were keeping him but you had no luck.
About a week after you had woken up, you saw Finn carrying a tray of food but he was nowhere near the mess hall and you knew he typically always ate there or made something in his room. You just knew he was taking it to Kylo. You followed him closely. After about five minutes, he stopped in front of a wall. You saw him take the the lantern that was hanging from the wall and he pulled it away from the wall. As a results, a brick popped out of the wall. It looked like he was entering a code into it.
You didn't want to do this but you looked into his mind trying to see the code. This was your only chance to see Kylo.
You found the code pretty quickly and you knew you were in business. You see the bricks start to pull away from the wall and a door appeared. Finn entered it and he was gone.
You decided to wait until later that night to enter. There would be less of a chance of anyone seeing you.
After counting down the hours, you decided to find Kylo around one in the morning. You quickly repeated the path that Finn took. You were outside the wall and pulled on the lantern. The panel to enter the code appeared and you entered it in.
Please let this work!
It did! The door was in front of you now. You took a hesitant step forward hoping there was no other code that had to be entered. You open the door and all you see is a poorly lit hallway. You follow it and you find an open room with a cell in the middle of it. It didn't have the typically bars around it but it had a force field around him.
Shit. I was so focused on finding this place. That I didn't even think of what I would say. I suck.
"It is awful late for someone to be here. Did you come to annoy me some more?" Kylo says in a raspy voice like he had been yelling a lot.
You didn't know what to say. You just stood there is the darkness.
"Well at least come out, so I can see who I am talking to? Or did they send me someone mute?"
Still an asshole, I see.
You step out of the darkness so he can see you.
"I'm sorry, I came so late. I hope I didn't wake you up." You say. You see Kylo stop what he was going to say when he realized it was you.
He probably didn't expect me. He isn't saying anything for a change so I guess I'll do all the talking.
He didn't take his eyes off of you. It was like if he looked away, you would disappear.
" I just had to come to see if you were alright. Han said you were ok but they wouldn't let me see you. I had to get crafty and do some slight stalking to find you. "
"When did you wake up? They were supposed to tell me." Kylo says.
"Its been a week. " Kylo screams and starts to punch the ground since he had nothing else in his room to destroy.
"Kylo stop." You begged him to stop but he wouldn't. You make your way towards his cell. You needed to get into his cell to stop him since your protests were not working.
You put your hand up to the force field. You didn't feel an electric shock. So you slowly moved your hand through the force field. Once your hand was in the cell, you jumped through the force field.
You ran over to Kylo who was hunched on the floor still punching the ground. His knuckles were bleeding.
"Kylo, you need to stop." You reach your hand out and touch his hand. You use the force to stop him from being able to move his hands.
He looks up and you with tears rolling down his face.
"Its alright. You need to stop. You are hurting yourself. " He lets out a sigh and leans into you. You hug him and start to rock him back and forth trying to sooth him.
You didn't know what to say. You decided to just comfort him until he decided to talk.
"They were supposed to tell me. Instead, they let me sit in here with no updates. They made me think that I killed you. I had no idea what was happening. I was being torn up inside. I couldn't deal with the fact that I hurt you but at the same time, I was mad at myself because you betrayed me and you are the enemy. "
"I know. Its ok. I am fine. I was able to have a really long rest."
" I hate you for making me so weak. I'm pathetic." You hated to see him this way.
"Kylo, are those your words? Or is that something Snoke told you?"
"Don't you dare say his name. Your words are poison. You don't even love me." He stand ups. Feeling small and insecure on the ground, you stand up as well.
Here we go with this again.
" Oh shut up, I am sick of this bull shit. I do love you , you fucking jerk! I love you with all my heart. I go against my orders just so I can see you! Who knows what they would even do to me if they knew I came to see you? Snoke is just filling your head with lies. Plus, you can't talk! You had almost every stormtrooper out looking for me since that day on the StarKiller. I was running for months. I couldn't stay anywhere for longer than a few weeks. You wanted me dead. I saw the reward posters. They said dead or alive! But I still love you through all of that. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. But it happened. I didn't expect you to be like you are. Hell, I don't know how many times I tried pulling out of the mission because of my feelings. I was afraid but eventually I accepted it because I knew I loved you. I will always fight for love. It is something that you cherish. Like you know anything about that tho. You were already sleeping with that whore. Ugh, I should just leave. This was a terrible idea. "
" I didn't send any troopers out after you. I just left you be. I figured it would be easier to try and forget you then hunt you down . Plus, I couldn't bare to kill you. "
"Well, who did then?!"
"It must have been the Supreme Leader. He was the only other person that knew about you."
"See! He saw me a threat! He probably paired you up with that whore just to get your mind off of me."
"Whore? Are you talking about Ada? There is nothing going on between me and Ada. She is just obsessed with me. The Supreme Leader wouldn't do that."
" Kylo, this is never going to work. We both are never going to change each others minds. I will never go to the dark side. Plus, you believe everything Snoke says."
"I do not. You are just a foolish girl."
"Gosh, you are so confusing. I can't do this anymore. I love you but you are resisting us. I can't go on loving you if you won't allow yourself to believe me and love me. I think it is time for me to start thinking for myself. "
"What do you mean?"
"I am going to walk out that door and I am not coming back." tears start rolling down your face. You see panic in Kylo's eyes. " You don't even want me to be here. I know you wished that you never met me because all I have done is made you question yourself and the darkside. I know you are being torn apart inside but I am being ripped apart inside over this. If you just accepted your feelings and trusted me, we could work through this but you can't. I need to accept that and move on."
You look up at Kylo. You were unsure what he would do or say. You start to turn around and make your way out of his prison. You feel his hand grab your arm and spin you towards him. Before you could even ask what he wanted, his lips crashed onto yours. It took you a second to respond. You were shocked. You did not expect this. You move your lips against his. It felt like home and it was perfect. His kisses were full of passion and greedy. You put your hand around his neck and start to play with his hair. His arms snake around your waist. You never wanted this to end.
All of a sudden, Kylo pulls away from you.
"I'm sorry." He says but doesn't say what he was sorry for.
"Sorry for what?" He just looks at you. You didn't know if he was sorry for the kiss or what. There was a long list of things he could be apologizing for. You were sick of his games.
"Goodbye Kylo." You caress his cheek with your hand and give him a small smile.
You make it almost to the hallway when you heard him faintly say.
"Please come back."
You opened the door and left. Your heart just couldn't take this anymore.
