"Goodbye"
An unforgiving drum pounded through the girl's small frame and a surge of jealous blood dyed her vision a fiery red. A silver blade plunged and scraped over and over from a crumpled form, the focus of her passionate rage, deprived of any drop of mercy. A familiar name puled to the world with a final breath, the feathery hammer that shattered her trance faster than it started. Her dark eyes widened at the drenched hand that reached for her, wrenching forth a gasp from her small neck faster than a shock of icy water. The scarlet grasp fell away, never to feel again.
Then a piercing screech sliced through the still air, shriller than the song of any siren fable. The world retreated.
"I made out with a murderer!" I nearly screamed as I jerked my head from my propped elbow. A small packet of silverware jingled to the ground and a few curious patrons sent over furtive glances. Most of the café's residents failed to notice through the haze of chatter and kitchen banter, and the few that did renewed their interest elsewhere. I wiped at the gush of sweat shining my brow.
"What was that?"
Makoto Itou stood apologetically at the other end of the table, his hand planted upon the back of a recently-dragged chair. He pulled the seat out a few more cautious inches, the gritty tile spewing out a pathetic squeak before the boy sat down. In place of the typical coat and tie, he wore a faded-green collared shirt and jeans.
"N-nothing, just a bad dream," I replied, swiping an unattractive slick of drool from my cheek. I can only hope that a heart attack finally takes me in my sleep before these nightmares manifest into reality.
"Sorry, I wasn't expecting it to scrape the floor like that," he laughed while he did a jig in his seat to make himself comfortable. "Shouldn't you be getting more sleep?"
"Don't worry about it, I don't plan on any more blackouts," I said with a grin. Thanks to the weekend, I managed to sleep in a whole ten minutes. Go me.
"But then, they're not exactly planned, are they?" I chuckled at my own lame joke. "I'm just glad you chose such a public place to meet after sending such an ominous text message."
"Ominous?" he blinked before cracking a cheesy smile. "I didn't mean it to sound like that, though I do have some important things to discuss-"
"One coffee with cream!" cried a waitress with large bouncy hair loops. She held out a tray and placed a steaming white mug down before me without spilling a drop, though the way it wobbled spoke a tale of pure luck. The waitress smiled too widely to not seem suspicious.
"Thank you, Kuroda," I nodded politely, hoping for the loud girl to leave as soon as possible.
"This is who you've been waiting for?" she chimed. I inwardly groaned to the heavens.
"You know, we usually only have couples here," she peered with a sly grin. She leaned over the table. "I didn't know you two were such good friends. You should be careful who you become acquainted with, Hudson. Too bad you missed the entrance ceremony, then you would've had a better look at everyone. This guy won't even admit that Sekai is his girlfriend. Could this be an affair?"
"It's because she isn't my girlfriend," Makoto replied with a tired face. "And I'm just going to have a slice of the cake from the display and a glass of water."
"Hmph," Kuroda puffed as she wrote the order down. Did she really need to take the time to write down two things? She gave me an eye roll that blared 'told you so' before curtly spinning her waitress dress and walking off.
"She did bring up something of concern to me," Makoto said after Kuroda was out of earshot.
I took an aloof sip of my coffee before nearly spitting it back out after searing my tongue. Blech, I'm not one for bitter beverages. I only ordered something out of obligation and this happened to be the tiniest number on the menu. I wish they had pictures so I didn't have to point words out like an idiot. Then again, I guess most restaurants don't put pictures of their beverages in their menus.
"Strange coincidence that you chose this café of all places," I said after a painful gulp, trying to hold off the subject as long as possible. I had a hunch about the reason behind this meeting. A dreadful, assuredly dead-on hunch.
Makoto looked up with a slight mixture of confusion."Why's that?"
"I just came here the other day with another friend of mine. Do you know Ashikaga Yuuki? Brown hair, glasses, kinda short. Really short."
"Hmm, I think there's an Ashikaga on the girls' basketball team, but I'm not really familiar with her. Why?"
"Ah, I think that's his sister. Yuuki's her younger brother, and I met him in this very café on my first day of school."
"I see…" he replied half-heartedly.
I tapped away on the ebbing warmth of my cup while he stared out the window, the awkward silence plucking away at us. I never have been one to keep up senseless small talk, and I could tell from his darting pupils that Makoto was readying himself for a difficult topic.
"I-I wanted to talk to you about something," he began.
"That girl sure is taking her time with just a slice of cake-"
"About you and Sekai," he said finally as his finger scrawled an invisible doodle on the table. "Um, how are you two doing?"
I pushed the pain of my fried tongue to the back of my mind and steepled my fingers like a manager before an interviewee. "It's, er, complicated, to put it lightly," I said, sounding the part.
I glanced out into the street. We painted a misinformative picture, the two of us. A couple of school kids sitting at a small table in an aesthetically loud, romance-themed café, consciously avoiding each other's gaze would make anyone feel suspicious. I suppressed a gag that caught in my throat.
"You could say there's a sort of culture gap we're struggling with, I suppose. On another note, let me just say that you and Kotonoha are a perfect match," I said with smarmy grin and a slow nod.
Makoto's gaze deflated and a heavy cloud seemed to float in and cling to him. My skin prickled and my attempt at convincing myself into confidence ebbed away, smudging my smug mask into nonexistence.
"So, uh, why the interest in my unorthodox love life?"
"I need… I need to know for sure…" Makoto's appearance had grown darker and distant. The struggle in his voice translated through the scrunched look of concentration on his face. "Do you truly care for her? Do you- do you love her?"
That was a rather demanding question to put upon a man in a relationship fresher than the first daisy blossom of spring. Funny thing is, I can't even truthfully say that Sekai and I are even dating. I still need to talk to her.
"O-of course, well I mean, I care for her," I said quietly. "I definitely don't feel any discontent with her." That might have been a lie.
"But do you love her?" Makoto had actually jerked forward to the edge of his seat. His breathing had picked up in rhythm. To the horror of my sensitive nostrils, I could smell his minty toothpaste, so I combated his advancement by sitting back in my stiff chair with a disbelieving quirk in one cheek, squinting one eye.
"That's kind of a heavy question there, isn't it?" I replied with a scratch of my temple. "I mean I've only just started getting to know her. What's with the third degree?"
The boy slouched back and spewed out a long breath through the crack of his mouth. "Kotonoha talks about you," he said.
My seat creaked as I sat straighter at the mention of the boy's quiet girlfriend. "What's that got to do-"
"Everything," he said immediately. "Nearly every word from her has to do with you, even her texts. She's always talking about how you've helped her and how grateful she is. Even when I try to change the subject, it ends up back on you, and I don't even think she notices."
Truth be told, I was still feeling pretty impressed with myself for talking down that thug from bullying Kotonoha and avoiding the intimate combination of the pavement with my insides. That whole scenario never should have worked out so well.
But, acts of valor aside, Makoto was going in the exact direction I feared. He was searching out excuses to justify his impatience. I could feel it already, the inevitable doom of it all, like nothing could have been prevented in the first place. It was the same inescapable feeling of running in a dream and going nowhere.
"You're putting too much thought into this," I said while I vented my shirt with a tug of my collar. It was too hot for this shirt, even without the coat and tie. "So I helped her out a few times, big deal. It's what friends do, isn't it? You're one of the first people to show her kindness, she loves you." To a very destructive degree, but details are unimportant.
"You don't understand. I just… it's the way she talks about you, how her face lights up. She talks more than I've ever seen when it's about you," he said with a faraway breath. "No matter how hard I try, I can't get her to look at me like that. I think I made a mistake."
"What are you talking about? You love Kotonoha, don't you? You've watched her for so long... A-as Sekai confided in me," I said quickly. "If your feelings were ever genuine then you'll fight for her attention. Though I do believe you're overreacting."
"I don't know… It's so frustrating. I think I need to break up with her."
It's like he isn't even listening to me. The twitchy commander at the reigns of my brain was dangerously close to throwing a sweaty fist at the panic button. Only the last dribbles of my will clasped my nerves in place. None of this could possibly justify him straying from Kotonoha so quickly. Every time I think I'm getting this all together, another hiccup comes along and botches the whole mess! Three steps back, every time. Every. Time.
"Woah, okay, let's just back up a bit there. You guys have only been together for, what, a day or two? It's a bit soon to be throwing in the towel don't you think?"
"I have limits," the boy stated with a tired, unconvincing sigh that tightened my burning fist. Where did this guy learn to push buttons so well? "And I can tell she's no longer interested in me."
"Limits? What are you expecting after a couple dates? These things need time to develop, you need to get to know each other. You need patience," I said with a quiet severity. "If you let it end this quickly and prematurely, how do you expect another relationship to go?"
"I won't make the same mistake. I plan on asking out a girl who I know feels the same for me," he said bluntly. "Why don't we swap girlfriends?"
My stomach dropped. I stared with a crooked brow at the creature that had just sputtered such an astonishing sentence. Makoto looked back with stern conviction, something I had yet to see on his pathetic face. He was completely serious. He was deliberately asking me to go against everything I had come up with, and he was willing to treat these girls like trading cards. Sparks flicked between my teeth.
"Heh, you-, I mean, what are you saying?" I said with a dry laugh through a locked grin, trying to unhear everything. I could feel my defenses clambering into formation, ready to bite back at a second's notice.
"I'm serious," he continued with a flat tone. "If you truly care for Sekai, you'll let her go so that she can be with me, someone she actually loves. And you get Kotonoha."
A painful pop in my neck flagged the final breach of my patience.
Someone she actually loves? What the hell does he know about that? And the way he mentioned Kotonoha like some kind of afterthought... All this guy cares about is sexing up anything in a skirt and then walking away to throw his libido at another unfortunate victim. What does he know about judging how other people feel? He's been a dense, insensitive, infantile, damned imbecile since the start!
My jaw tightened and my teeth continued to suffer. A fog of condensation blanketed my glasses.
How dare he.
"How dare you," I spat, blood gushing into my frowning cheeks. A shudder ran through my bones as I struggled over my composure. Calm. Stay calm. "After all the trouble you went through just to achieve the slightest chance with this beautiful girl, you're going to throw her away like child bored with his doll. And to top it off, you want to convince me to tear away from my relationship, just to be with someone you believe will grant you with more immediate relief. To think I was hoping to make friends with you."
"Wh-"
"No!" I hissed.
I shifted directly to my feet before he had a chance to spout any more garbage, scratching my chair back a few clamoring inches. There was nothing left that I cared to hear from this conversation. My sight locked with his dull, swampy eyes, spread with surprise and frustration. He never did change, did he? He was always the same from the start: a complete jackass.
"I'm done listening to your senseless dribble," I said, keeping a tame tongue. I reached into my pocket and dragged out the money I had planned on counting for the coffee. Without a second thought, I slammed the handful of bills and coins on the table. I did not care to remember the price of the meal or the value of the money.
"When we return to school, I am completely willing to forget that this nauseating exchange ever took place. But if I find out that you've hurt Kotonoha, I can assure you that you won't get the chance to do it to anyone else." With a jerky spin, I turned to the exit, my arms rigid and trembling.
I don't really know how I would backup my threats, but I refused to allow myself to think about it. My heart threatened to evacuate my chest and my vision had degraded into a heated haze. The journey to the door was a numb one as I ignored the strange looks that surrounded me. The only thing I regretted as I made my exit was that in my haste, I failed to apologize to the wide-eyed Kuroda, whom I had nearly knocked a tray from.
"I can't believe it fell apart so quickly. You just stormed out?" Yuuki's voice was threaded with disbelief, but his mouth stretched in an impish grin. "He did have it coming, but are you sure you don't have anger problems?"
We sat across from each other in the midst of Yuuki's classroom. Along with a few other students from his class, the boy had come to school over the weekend to help speed along the creation of the class's festival event, whatever it was. I hadn't bothered asking about their project, preferring to fume in disgruntled peace. In fact, the whole journey to the school had failed to register in my memory.
"When I was a child, I could throw one hell of a tantrum, sure," I said to the window. "It's been a long while since I lost my temper in such a volatile manner."
"Volatile? I wouldn't go that far," Yuuki laughed. "It's not like you punched him or anything. You just raised your voice a little. If that."
My only reply was an indecipherable murmur. I felt a tinge of guilt over the fact that I had called Yuuki with the notion of hanging out, only to sit here in a smothered mood, recounting my unfortunate encounter at the café. I had left the story mostly vague, for fear of reigniting my anger, but I got across the gist of Makoto being an ass about the girls. It barely even registered the fact that days had past since Yuuki and I had last spoken.
"You've had an exciting few days, haven't you?" the boy said as he pulled himself from his work. "First you're the talk of the school after fainting in a restricted area, with a girl, and now you're calling Itou out in the middle of public. Imagine what you'll accomplish during the festival."
"Don't," I sighed. "Please, do not remind me of that. My ulcers will thank you."
"Ha ha, sorry," Yuuki said. "Don't you think you're overreacting about the festival? It'll be fun! With all the hard work going into it, I can't imagine anyone having a bad time. Who doesn't love fried food?"
"You would think that, but the dying ocean Makoto's ship sails upon conceals a horde of short-fused kraken," I said as I tapped an uneasy marker against the desk. "Fried food will be far from anyone's mind with all the hormones in the air. Unfortunately for us, we have to ensure nothing runs off the rails during this whole thing. Kotonoha's well-being should be our top priority."
"Yes, of course," Yuuki said, a sternness seeping into his eyes. "This could actually be a prime opportunity to ensure that Makoto finally leaves her alone." He had no idea why I preferred to emphasize her stability, and it needed to stay that way.
I threw the boy a confused frown at the strange statement that ran completely opposite of my plan. Of course, I quickly realized that without telling him about Sekai, we would end up working in contradicting directions. I guess the time to tell him had finally dawned. Hopefully Yuuki takes Kotonoha's fate well.
"Okay so... I need to inform you on a change I've come up with," I said, sucking in a deep breath. "I know we both agreed that Kotonoha shouldn't be with him, but I kind of made the decision that, for the better of her mental well-being, their relationship shouldn't be tampered with."
It almost failed to register just how detached from humanity I sounded with the trivial way I discussed the manipulation of people's personal lives. It reminded me of moving chess pieces, and my grade-schooler cousin wipes the board with me every time. If we think too hard about the moral issues, we might as well just jump off the roof now.
Yuuki's pupils shrank. "What? But we can't leave Makoto to take advantage of a someone like her. Why the change? What about Saionji?"
Even with all the trash Makoto has forced me to wade through, he didn't deserve to die for it. Beaten into a bloody pulp maybe, but I've seen him as a good, relatable person. If he stays faithful to Kotonoha, maybe we'll all witness it.
"Listen, I know he's not exactly a chivalrous prince, but I believe Kotonoha can take care of herself. She's mature enough to know what she wants." Hah. In reality I'm just praying that by removing every other outside force, nothing bloody occurs while I'm here. As long as I can keep someone from a grisly death, this can all go to the dogs once I'm gone for all I care. Well, maybe I cared a little.
"Are you sure? She can barely handle using her library card on the checkout machine."
"I am one hundred percent positive." Not. "And we don't even have to worry about Saionji causing trouble."
The boy looked at me with an annoyed intrigue. I could feel that my matter-of-fact attitude was grating on him. "Why's that?"
I mustered up a deep breath and held it for a few thought provoking seconds before wheeshing it out.
"I sort of.. let's say I've got her "distracted". Distracted to the point that she will no longer hound after Makoto."
"Exactly what kind of distraction is this?" Yuuki continued, his haze of suspicion practically condensing itself around him.
"Well, it's a very human sort of distraction. Of the relationship variety. The romance kind."
Yuuki remained stoic for a few moments, digesting the less than subtle hints I had thrown his way, before his eyebrows gradually climbed the slant of his face. "You're not…"
"I am the distraction."
"You and..?"
"Yeah."
"But-"
"Look," I said, attempting to prevent a possible meltdown. "I know it was a pretty bold move on my part, but in my defense, she came on to me first."
"She came on to you?" Yuuki said with a wary frown.
"It was more like she ambushed my face with her mouth, but I'm certain she won't be a problem anymore. Well, not for Makoto, anyway. I may have left out the part in my conversation with Makoto where he wanted me to leave Sekai for him. That also may have struck a touchy chord with me."
"Geez," Yuuki sighed in subdued shock. "It just keeps getting worse. I can't really say I envy you, but I guess this helps solidify our plans…" He turned away and stared at the lit flecks of dust floating about by the windows. "So we're really gonna leave Kotonoha with Makoto, huh?"
"That's the best route I can see, given the circumstances."
The glimmer of sadness that Yuuki tucked away behind his glasses at the mention of Katsura did not go unnoticed. If the situation were different, sure, I'd do everything in my power to help the kid win her over, or at least give him some kind of chance with her. But the stars were in too much disarray as it was. Luckily, I had some news that would effortlessly expunge the silly crush from Yuuki's mind.
"You know, I just remembered that Kitsuregawa wanted me to talk to you for her."
Yuuki's bent demeanor snapped up so quickly that I feared for the poor guy's spine. "K-Kitsuregawa? What does she want?" He tried to hide his intrigue behind a wall of frowns.
"She told me to tell you to find her so she could tell you something," I somewhat lied.
"Huh? That's… indirect. Why didn't she just come tell me?"
"I dunno," I shrugged in pure innocence. "She mumbled about being sorry for something or another and wanting to go to the festival. I could barely understand the girl, so she just asked me if I could get you to confront her."
While it wasn't the truth, I had decided that it would be better if Roka apologized to Yuuki face-to-face, which would optimally lead to an invitation to a romantic evening at the festival. With Yuuki preoccupied, I'll be forced to overwatch Makoto and Kotonoha throughout the event on my own, but I felt that simplified things. Success should leave the rest of the year as smooth sailing, if my garbage logic holds. Hopefully I will have found a way home before it's tested further.
"She… She said that? Are you sure?"
"As sure as the Earth's round," I replied as my thoughts drifted to the idea that this Earth could, in fact, retain an entirely foreign shape.
"Huh, I don't know. Uh, I guess I need to get a hold of my sister. She should know how to contact her. Plus I should probably cancel my game tonight…"
I watched with a satisfied grin as Yuuki's head began to shudder and leak steam over what should be a simple encounter. I was a little jealous of his naivety. "Exactly what game are you canceling?"
"Huh? he said, popping out of his thought process. "Oh, uh have you heard of Brightstar Phantasia Online?"
A quick check through my mental library turned up negative. "No, can't say I have. Sounds like an MMO."
"Yes, it is. I was planning on playing with a few friends later, but I think I'll put that off for now. I'll have to text them."
"Excellent choice," I smirked as I reached into my pocket for my own phone. The hours had dissipated with little notice, and I still wanted to get one thing done before the day's end. Now that my mood had somewhat improved, there was someone I needed to speak with to bring it crashing back down.
The sun yawned in the sky and dipped low, staining the clouds a deep violet upon a scarlet canvas. The station lights buzzed above the subtle murmurs of the platform's sparse crowd. From my solitary seat on a cold bench, my leg bounced violently in stark contrast to the soothing atmosphere as I churned through thought after thought, trying to think up what to say without sounding like a simpleton. I knew the probability of my backbone liquefying into mush the moment we began speaking stood exceedingly high.
I had finally scraped up the gumption to text Sekai with my intention to sit down and talk over our positions on this mess. Her reply barely qualified as a sentence, but she agreed, and she chose Haramihama's station as our meet up, the station I tackled on the way to school every morning. As I waited, the moment on the roof replayed on the screens of my eyelids over and over, burned into my memory like an image on an old CRT.
I pressed my knuckles into my eyes, rubbing the scene away, but it continued to rewind and repeat. The warmth of her face, the fleshy pillow of her lips. Her smile after I complimented her cooking. Nope. NOPE. Not gonna dwell on that, need to focus on the problem at hand… But my face continued to burn, puffs of steam leaking from my shirt and warming my neck.
"Rupert?"
It did not matter for how long I expected to hear her voice. The instant Sekai's soft call weeded through the feathery brush of the platform's ambiance, my skin nearly jumped from my frame.
"Hey, Sekai," I said quietly as I faced her. She wore a striped pink blouse and a lavender skirt beneath a snug chocolate coat. I creeked up off the bench. "You, uh, look nice."
"Eh?" she gasped, always unprepared for the casual compliment. "Thanks, I guess."
The air between us sat thick with unease and uncertainty, reflected in Sekai's face. I could only imagine how awkward she felt after our little rooftop escapade, but her persistence in willingly meeting me in person gave light to her determination.
"Do you mind if we walk?" I asked.
If there's one benefit I've exposed myself to while bumbling about in this world, it's exercise. We strolled down a hushed street peppered with privately owned shops and apartments, passing only a few silent pedestrians now and then. As the sky continued to darken, the shop lights began to dim, leaving only the streetlamps and the occasional window to warm the street.
The minutes sloshed on. Not like my walks with Kotonoha. While those walks were often pleasantly quiet with snatches of dialogue, the inevitable discussion with Sekai dyed the current atmosphere with apprehension.
"I'm sorry."
I nearly stopped when Sekai tore through the silence. Then I noticed she had actually stopped a few paces ago. Then I really stopped.
"What was that?" I asked as I skipped through the embarrassing gap between us.
"For… For kissing you. I'm sorry." In the glow of a streetlamp, her dark hair gleamed at me as she faced the ground in sincere apology.
"It's okay, Sekai," I said calmly. "In all honesty, I didn't hate it."
Sekai's deep violet eyes hovered up to meet my face, inspecting to prove the sincerity of my comment. "When I said you've been distracting me, I meant it. Ever since you vowed to help me, I began to question myself."
Even though I already knew, the words still thumped at my heart. Why was it such a refreshing revelation to hear her say that? Maybe I'm just that desperate. Maybe I really have developed feelings for her. Maybe I'm reverting back into an angsty teen.
"I just, I don't really know what to say," I replied, the color bursting into my face. "Are you really sure you like me that way? I think you could be misinterpreting some other feeling, because really, I'm not worth anyone's time, I mean I don't even have any redeeming qualities. I'm just a boring, sarcastic-"
"Idiot! Stop saying that!" Sekai nearly yelled. "If I like you, then I like you! I know what I'm feeling without you trying to tell me." She had stepped forward and butted her head into my chest, the warm impact rattling my body in place. She buried her face into my shirt and my collar began to grow taught at the back of my neck as her slender fingers curled up snatches of cloth.
I strained a swallow as I stood there hesitantly with a pretty girl huddling into my shirt. I thanked the barren streets of the night for the privacy while my emotions mixed and battled under my skin. This all felt too much like something I had secretly always wished for in my lonely life, but now that it was happening I had a difficult time functioning.
"I like you," came her mumbled voice.
My heart twisted and twirled until I finally decided to react. Maybe I do like her. I lifted my noodled arms up and snaked them around Sekai's little back, satisfying myself with the comforting embrace. At my touch, her shoulders slouched and she drew closer.
With a subtle tilt, Sekai looked up into my face for a brief moment before stretching forward to gingerly place her lips upon mine. I invited the fuzzy blanking of my thoughts as I pressed back, savoring the kiss that lacked the other's force and exhaustion.
Dammit. I'll have to walk her back to the station now.
AN: FORGIVE ME! It hurts me physically every time I'm messaged about an update while I remain unreliable. I am sincerely sorry for this delay. Life just sucks for me. I can't say exactly when future chapters will come, but know that they will.