Chapter 5

This is mainly Lexa POV and she basically comes to term with what she feels towards Clarke. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters :(

Lexa's POV

I came back to my empty dorm room after my classes. Anya had already left and I was in a rush to get ready before Clarke came by. I jumped in the shower, got into comfy clothes and settled on my bed to scroll through my social media apps. I smiled seeing a picture of Clarke and Octavia on their other best friend's Instagram. The blonde and I had texted through the day and I was glad she hadn't taken my actions at the party in a bad way. I knew I had growing feelings for Clarke, but I had to take things slow as to not ruin everything by freaking out. Anya had knocked sense into me during our morning talk earlier today. She noticed the way I looked at Clarke every time I thought no one was watching and the way I always seemed to be happy, comfortable with her around. When she brought that to my attention I snapped at her telling her she was imagining things, that we could never be more than friends and that she knew why it had to be that way. Usually, in these moments, Anya would let it go and apologize for bringing it up; although, this time she just asked me, "Why Lex? Why do you keep pushing away every one? And don't tell me that bullshit of I need to protect myself or love is weakness! You could be happy Lex… Don't you think you deserve that? Linc and I love you Lexa, but it's time for you to truly forgive yourself for what happened with Costia. We think you deserve happiness, friendship and love. " And then she left, leaving me with so many questions about my way of dealing with my feelings. I had thought about it through my first class and came to the conclusion that I should give it a try.

A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I got up and opened the door to the beautiful blonde wearing leggings and a loose t-shirt, her hair in a messy bun.

She grinned as she looked at me and said, "Glad to see you respected my request of wearing something comfy for our Netflix binge watching session." I was indeed wearing grey sweat shorts and a red training hoodie with my hair up in a ponytail. I invited her inside asking her how had been her day. We lied on my bed to watch a few episodes of the show we had started a few days ago neither of us wanting to wait longer since we had stopped at a cliff-hanger last time. After three episodes, we decided to take a break to eat something and move a bit. I got to my desk and went through my Spotify playlists before selecting one. I felt Clarke's eyes on me as I was looking in Mine and An's mini refrigerator for drinks.

"What is it? " I asked my head still hidden by the small door.

"I wasn't joking about that piano song you know, " Clarke said.

I looked at her knowingly, and her smile faded to a pout.

"Come on Lex! You owe me one, you know that! I really want to hear you play… Please?"

Her puppy dog eyes did nothing to help me, "Okay, fine! " I huffed, "But only one! "

She sat on the edge of my bed as I did the same next to her bringing my piano keyboard close. I wondered for a moment what song I should play. My hands hovered over the keys before I closed my eyes and settled to play my favorite: She's always a woman. My hands knew the keys by heart and played effortlessly as I started singing

She can kill with a smile

She can wound with her eyes

She can ruin your faith with her casual lies

And she only reveals what she wants you to see

She hides like a child

But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love

She can take you or leave you

She can ask for the truth

But she'll never believe

And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free

Yeah, she steals like a thief

But she's always a woman to me

Oh, she takes care of herself

She can wait if she wants

She's ahead of her time

Oh, and she never gives out

And she never gives in

She just changes her mind

She will promise you more

Than the Garden of Eden

Then she'll carelessly cut you

And laugh while you're bleedin'

But she'll bring out the best

And the worst you can be

Blame it all on yourself

Cause she's always a woman to me

I opened my eyes as the last notes vanished. Clarke was staring, I felt her eyes on me the whole song even though mine were closed and my theory was confirmed when I slightly turned to face her. I felt my cheeks heat up knowing I would blush right then and there in front of this beautiful girl.

She smirked and joked, "No way, the great Commander is blushing? I'll have to take note of that in my agenda! " I playfully shoved her before she added, "But really Lexa, you're amazing! You're a natural. You look peaceful when you play and your voice is truly beautiful."

"Thanks, " I smiled, "You have a great voice too you know. "

"When did you start learning piano? " she asked engaging in small talk about our respective instruments. After a while we headed to the café we both affectionate to grab some muffins and coffee before going back to my room to watch a few more episodes. Through the second one following our little trip to the coffee shop, I realized the times I'd hangout with Clarke so far were the first ones in a long time where I felt relaxed, comfortable and at ease. In that moment, I felt Clarke shifting closer to me; our arms and legs now touching, which sent a shiver down my spine. She brought a blanket over us probably thinking I was cold, and the thought made my heart flutter. I couldn't take my eyes off the girl lying a bit lower next to me. A few strands of blonde hair had fallen out of her messy bun, her eyes were fixed on the screen but I could see her fighting against the repetitive fall of her eyelids, battling against sleep. I had to fight the urge to put my hand in her hair to stroke it gently until she fell asleep, and to press my lips to the top of her head. Suddenly, she stopped fighting and left herself drift off. After a while she turned slightly on her side putting an arm over my waist and setting her head on my chest. I decided to finish the episode before waking her enjoying the closeness for a few minutes.

I whispered her name and shook her shoulder slightly to wake her up which only ended in the blonde tightening her grip around my waist.

"Hey, Clarke… You fell asleep you should go back now, it's about 11:30"

"I don't wanna…" she mumbled.

I smiled at her adorableness, "Clarke as much as I enjoy this right now, we have classes tomorrow and Anya will be back soon."

Her eyes snapped open at the mention of my roommate and she blushed realizing in what position she was seconds ago.

"Lex, I'm sorry, I should've warned you I get all snuggly when I sleep-"

"Clarke, " I said lifting her face so that her eyes would look in mine, "I don't mind. Really."

We looked in each other's eyes for a moment until we heard the door knob turn. Knowing my cousin pretty well, I got up right away before she could see us so close in my bed which would undoubtedly lead to a snarky comment.

As she got in, she eyed us both and grinned, "I'm not interrupting some thing, am I? Cause if I am I can walk right back through that door-"

"Hey An! I was just leaving actually. It's getting late and that one gets up in only a few hours for her morning run so I'll get some sleep now," she said, winking in my direction with a small sleepy smile on her lips, "Good night girls! "

"Good night, Clarke," we echoed as she closed the door behind her.

Anya took my arm and turned me to face her, "I saw the look on your faces and the blush on hers, spill everything! " she teased.

I was glad the week was over and welcomed the weekend with open arms. After my morning practice on Saturday, I met with Lincoln to catch up a bit. I had spent most of my free time with Clarke either during lunch or after class, when I wasn't at practice or studying. Most of the time our schedules fit so we had the afternoon off together, and with Anya and Raven in class or at work, we ended spending a lot of time with one another. Obviously, Anya wouldn't stop teasing me about it, but she was also always there for me if I needed. Through the week, Clarke and I had grown closer, not only in an emotional way, but also physical. I knew the blonde was used to that with her friends; I had witnessed it, but on the other side, I wasn't and it made me freak out a bit a few times. My cousin was always there whenever I needed to talk, and I was really grateful for that. Although, I had neglected my other cousin and knew he wanted to talk about something important, so we had decided to meet for lunch before his football game.

I walked in the small Italian restaurant where Lincoln had given me rendezvous. The music was loud for a small place like this one, and it was filled with decorations and pictures representing the country. I spot Lincoln at a table on the other side of the room and walked through the few tables until I reached him.

"Hey Lex, how are you? " he asked smiling.

"Great, how about you? Nervous for the opening game? "

He let out a nervous chuckle, "You can't even imagine! "

We engaged in small talk and it's only when we got our plates several minutes later that he finally decided to ask me what had been the reason of this lunch meeting.

"Hum Lex I know you've been getting close to Clarke in the last few days and everything"

"What? How do you know that? " I asked, knowing I hadn't spoken about Clarke with him since last weekend.

"Unlike you, Anya comes by sometimes," he winked showing me he wasn't really blaming me, "and she told me a bit about you two."

"What exactly has she told you? " I inquired, quirking an eyebrow.

"Just that you two need to bang already." He laughed seeing my mouth fall open, "she told me the sexual tension between you two is nearly unbearable. And Raven agrees with her by the way, " he added.

"Great, so you invited me here to tell me I should sleep with the girl I'm crushing on...? "

He laughed some more, but a little nervously this time, "No, actually I was talking about Clarke because I want to invite Octavia on a date and I was wondering if you think that'd be okay with you, with her, with O's brother…?"

I smiled at him and told him honestly, "For my part, I just want you to be happy Linc. If it's with Clarke's best friend it's okay as long as you don't ruin it to a point where I'd lose all my new friends. You know it's been hard for me to open up and I'd hate that all my improvement would be for nothing. I know it's a selfish reason, but I think you really do like Octavia and I don't think you'll screw things up. Also, Clarke thinks you're a good guy, which is true, so she probably won't mind. Raven on the other hand seems a bit more protective so you'll probably have to deal with the best friend talk. As for Bellamy… Good luck bro! "

"He's gonna hate me, Lex…"

"There's no way. You two are practically brothers… well soon to be brothers-in-law-" I deadpanned.

"Not funny, Lexa," He said seriously although the corner of his lips tugged upwards in a repressed smile.

"Okay, seriously, he'll probably be mad at both of you. Actually, mostly you; but he'll get over it," I assured him squeezing his hand.

A few hours later, I was walking with Anya to the football field. We all had decided to join there a bit earlier for the tailgate party. As we got closer, we heard music and the typical sound of a drunk crowd getting clearer. Making our way through it, we eventually got to the rest of the group. Raven, Octavia, Miller, Monty and Clarke were sitting at a picnic table each of them holding a cold beer. Obviously, my eyes were focused on Clarke as soon as I saw her. Her blonde hair was down and their locks seemed gold with the sun shining on them, she was wearing shorts that were showing off her legs and she had TonDC U's black and blue jersey on. When she lifted her head towards us, I found myself mesmerized by her eyes. The ocean blue enhanced by the color of her shirt connected with the green of mine and the smile she gave me made my heart skip a beat. I managed to get out of my daze when Raven jumped in front of my cousin and me sending her one of her famous pick up lines, "Hey! Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend."

Anya smiled and didn't bother to answer, just shoving her playfully before sitting down where the brunette was sitting seconds ago. We talked about our predictions for the game before grabbing hotdogs and more bear. We then headed to the football field so we could get good spots in the bleachers. Even though the game would only start in a bit less than an hour, many people were already seated; mainly families whereas fellow students were still drinking in the parking lot. Soon enough, the players were announced and we found our self cheering for the boys. As the game went on, I noticed how Linc and Bellamy had good chemistry on the field. Bellamy, being TonDC's quarterback seemed to always know where Lincoln, the team's best wide receiver, was. Just by looking at them, anyone could tell they were used to play together. Their plays seemed effortless and that's probably why our team won 56-6. We decided to get going when most of the crowd had left. That's when Anya whispered near me "You didn't watch a thing of the game did you? " she said eyeing Clarke. I knew she was only joking but shoved her playfully anyway. Perhaps, I shouldn't have because she lost foot and stumbled down the bleachers. I ran down to her already apologizing.

"Lex, it's okay I'm fine," she smiled painfully, "I earned that."

Raven got next to us and lightened the mood saying, "You may fall from the bleachers, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me."

"Confident much? " Anya questioned.

"Always! " the mechanic answered.

"Then why hasn't she been in your bed already Rae? " Octavia teased. Her friend didn't answer, but I noticed the slight blush creeping up her cheeks.

Clarke's POV

We congratulated the boys for their big win when they came out of the locker room. We then all headed to Roan's apartment which was only minutes from the dorms. A few other players of the team tagged along with their friends and Roan's flat was soon packed with people drinking, chatting and dancing. Sensing Lexa wasn't feeling in her place, I suggested we go for a walk.

"Thanks for pulling me out of there. I didn't want to be the party pooper," the brunette said.

"No worry, Lex. I was getting tired of it too. "

We walked in silence for a while and sat on a park bench after a while.

"So, when is your big game? " I asked.

"It's Thursday. Will you come? I mean if you want to… Anya will be there and Lincoln too"

I smiled seeing she was starting to ramble probably afraid I'd reject her invitation, "It would be a pleasure Lexa, " I said grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. She looked down at our hands when she saw I hadn't let go of hers after a few seconds and gave me a soft smile before I pulled my hand back.

"You know, we probably won't crush the other team like the boys just did… New York U is rather good and we don't play as well as I'd like us to."

"Lex, knowing you, you'll probably be ready to destroy them when the day comes. I'm just waiting to see if you really are perfect now that I have confirmation of your intelligence, singing and piano skills," I joked.

"Oh, and I can do so much more Princess! " she smirked.

I was shocked for a moment before I added, "Are you- Did you just flirt with me Lexa? "

She just laughed in response and I couldn't take my eyes off her beautiful smile. All I wanted to do in this moment was to kiss her, but her words from last week kept me from doing so. She needs time Griff, I told myself. So, I just looked at her; her shining eyes, her pink lips, her amazing jawline, her brown strand of hair that fell on the side of her face, her, just her.

I was teared out of my admiration when I heard her voice, "We should go back," she said standing up and offering her hand to pull me up. I took her soft hand in mine and dropped it when I was back on my feet. Little did I know that just like me, she was missing the contact the second our hands let go of the other's.

We got back to Roan's apartment building determined to get our friends and leave to go get some rest. We climbed the stairs and opened the door to his flat. It was even more packed then when we had left it that's possible. Lexa and I made our way to the kitchen where we found Bellamy, Monty and Miller. We convinced them soon enough to leave the party and told them we'd go fetch Raven and Anya since Lincoln and Octavia had already left. Obviously, the two girls were on the dancefloor, or rather the living room which had become the dancefloor… Lexa and I just looked at them to let them have fun till the end of the song. That's when a beautiful brunette with wavy hair and dark brown eyes appeared in front of me.

"Hey Lexa! what's up?" she said nicely not tearing her eyes off me, "who's your friend? " she added not even waiting for an answer.

"Hum… Luna this is Clarke, she's a friend I met on my first day here. Clarke this is Luna, she's a fellow teammate and we've known each other since high school. "

The brunette smiled and held out her hand, "Nice to meet you, Clarke."

"Nice to meet you, Luna. So, can you tell me really how good is Lexa on a soccer field?" I asked, softly shaking her hand and reciprocating the smile.

"She's not bad, but I'm better," she smirked and I heard Lexa let out a huff, "Would you like to dance, Clarke? " she asked as she checked me out without any subtlety.

"Actually, we're here to get those two," Lexa said pointing to Raven and Anya, "we are heading back to the dorms," she said with a sharp voice.

Luna then turned to Lexa for the first time and smiled saying, "They don't look ready to go…" She turned back to me, "Maybe we could convince them to come back after we had a dance? "

I didn't feel like arguing I accepted and walked with the girl to the dancefloor a few steps away. If I were honest, Luna was also pretty attractive and when I had set foot back in the apartment the music had put me back in somewhat of a party mood. That's probably what made me go dance with her near Raven and Anya. Luna was a great dancer and I found myself enjoying the dance as much as I would've with Raven or Octavia, my usual dance partners. After the song, Raven pulled me out of the dancefloor when I was thinking I'd be the one to have to do so with the two of them. I saw from the corner of my eye Anya talking with Luna and she looked rather pissed. I then noticed Lexa, and knew by the look she was giving me and Luna that she was pissed? Jealous? Mad? Something like that…

"What were you thinking Clarke? " Raven hissed.

"What? "

She rolled her eyes and turned me to face her, "Clarke, are you blind or stupid? Maybe both? " she said angrily.

"What the fuck Rae? What is it? "

She sighed, "Sorry Clarke, but you're so oblivious sometimes… You just went dancing with a hot girl, letting Lexa stand on the side waiting for you? What do you think she's thinking?"

My eyes widened when I realised how bad of a mistake I had just made. I'd have to apologize later, now was not the time as I saw she was speaking with Luna and Anya a few feet away.

Lexa's POV

I couldn't believe Luna right now. She knew about Clarke, I had told her a bit about her, and here she was flirting with her in my face. She dragged her to the dancefloor and I couldn't stop myself from being jealous even though I knew I had no right to be. Clarke and I were just friends and I hadn't even said a thing to stop Luna from flirting and bringing Clarke to the dance floor. Luna wasn't holding back and I was starting to get pissed when Anya put her arm around my shoulders pulling me away. She asked me what was happening and went to get Luna as soon as the song finished. She hadn't had time to say a word before Luna started talking to her. I noticed my cousin's expression soften, and they both walked towards me.

"Explain, Luna" I nearly growled.

"You know we have similar tastes Lexa," she winked and smiled, "but I really just wanted to make you jealous so that you'd make a fucking move already!" She laughed and Anya joined her nudging my elbow.

"I hate you," I said still mad at her, but knowing she was right.

"No, you don't" She said side hugging me, "but really, the girl likes you Lex. She couldn't stop looking in your direction every once in a while when we were dancing."

I didn't answer, just holding her stare. I knew she cared about me, she was one of my closest friends and knew what I was dealing with. She didn't push more when she saw I didn't answer.

"Princess is coming back, " Anya warned us.

" I understand what you see in her, and she really is pretty, Lexa," she smiled.

"Don't let that one go, or I'll be glad to pick her up," she added with a wink and left towards the kitchen.

Clarke and Raven got back and we left to meet the boys outside without saying a word.

During the walk back, I was trailing a bit behind the group, lost in my thoughts. Anya and Luna were right, I knew I liked Clarke and I didn't want to lose her. That's when I decided I'd ask her out sooner rather than later.

We walked up to our dorms and that's when I heard a soft voice, "Hey there. "

I smiled shyly when I saw Clarke walking on my left, "Hey". I looked up to see Anya and Raven had already entered the rooms.

"I'm sorry about leaving you to go dance with Luna back there," she said.

I could sense honesty in the way she told me, and actually she was already pardoned. "It's okay, Clarke. You had the right to have fun with Luna. She's a good friend of mine, I don't mind," I smiled to show her I really had no concern about it.

"Really? " she said a mischievous grin appearing on her face, "because by the looks of it you weren't liking the situation very much," she teased.

I huffed as I rolled my eyes.

I added on a more serious note with a tinge of sadness I hoped she wouldn't notice, "Even if I were, I have no right to be… jealous? If that's what you're insinuating? We're just friends, you can do whatever you want with whoever you want." I kept my eyes on my fidgeting hands, not wanting to meet her gaze in this moment.

"Yeah, but what if I care about you and am afraid I hurt you by doing… whatever I was doing?"

"In that case, I'm just glad to hear that you care about me, because I do too Clarke," I answered lifting my eyes to meet hers.

She sent me a small smile and slowly got closer. My heart was racing, her lips were getting closer and closer and I felt the urge to kiss them becoming eager by the second, but I was freezed, not able to move a single muscle. She turned her head to the side, her lips pressed to my cheek and lingered for a few seconds before she pulled back.

"Good night, Lexa," she whispered turning back to her dorm room.