A/N: In this chapter I will be jumping back and forth between past and present quite a bit, so I apologize if there's any confusion. Just bare with me :) The song used at the end is 'Asleep' from 'Sucker Punch'

Thinking back on her life, would usually bring Brittany to tears, not this time though. Because she had grown so accustom to things being the way they were.
This was her life now.
She had not seen Santana in years and she had since learned how to stand on her own two feet, barely so, but she was indeed standing.

"Dinner ready?" Collin asked as he glanced up nonchalantly from the paper he was reading. "I was just getting started on it." Brittany said as she paced back and forth in the living room, tidying up. "Just getting started, what is that supposed to mean? You're telling me you've been at home all fucking day without having gotten shit done?" He stared at her, his eyes were empty, yet so full of hatred. Brittany held her breath, she looked at her husband and for a minute she thought she saw the man she had once fallen in love with.
The man who had completed her, her better half, her Collin. But he had since long disappeared. "I just, I got distracted is all. I'll get started now, okay baby?"

Brittany had really only been scared once in her life and that had been in high school.
When Santana had declared her love and Brittany got to see a whole different side of her than what she was used to. And when she had chosen Artie over her, she thought she would lose her forever, her heart nearly beat out of her chest that day at the lockers.
The words 'please say you love me back' echoed through her mind for the longest time and whenever they would hit a rough stitch, she would think back of that day and she would remember that Santana loved her, no matter what.
The love they shared for each other was like no other.

Back in the days, there had been times where Santana had actually caught Brittany with her fingers down the pill bottle; 'I just want it to end, San.'
When that happened, she would take her for drives along the coast, just hours of endless driving, wind blowing through their hair and just the simplicity of not having to give a fuck about anything else other than the road ahead was soothing for them both.
Santana more so, because she was able to keep an eye on Brittany the entire time and she knew with perfect clarity that she was forever safe in her presence.

And every time she pulled up to the driveway, he would be standing there, slightly stomping his foot, ready to start his bitching.
The knot in Santana's stomach had since become permanent and she felt like the worst person in the world, every time she dropped her off, because she knew that if he touched Brittany, it would be her fault.

~3 years earlier~

"Never stop." Brittany murmured as she was slowly coming to, after a three hour long nap. Santana lifted her sunglasses with her free hand, as she kept the other on the steering wheel. "Never stop, what?" the blonde looked at her with heavy and tired eyes. "Please, never stop driving. Maybe if we just keep going, we'll reach our destination and that destination will be what we've always been looking for." Santana smiled at her.
Even though she had had a hard time accepting the fact, that they maybe weren't right for each other, she would never completely let go. She'd fall if she did.
She might've been vulnerable when she was with Brittany by her side, but did it really matter, when the world would always make assumptions and she would always be portrayed in the way the world wanted to see her.
Brittany nuzzled her face into the nape of Santana's neck and sighed deeply as she drifted back off to sleep again.
Ahead of them lay nothing but miles and miles of endless highway.

When Brittany would get so down, that she could no longer function on the higher levels, she usually had Santana right there by her side, now it had been years since she had been there to comfort her. These days when she thought of Santana, she tried to only remember the good times, but it was almost impossible not to let a few bad ones slip into her cluttered mind.
They'd promised each other for better and for worse and when Brittany did it once more with Collin, Santana, like so many other times before, felt betrayed.

"Babe! Dinner!" To someone, being called babe is endearing, but the way Collin said it, was in no way endearing. Brittany slaved away in the kitchen, she remembered because she had tried to open a jar of marinara sauce and the lid wouldn't budge and instead the jar fell to the floor and broke into a million pieces. At first she just stood there, afraid to move, afraid to breathe even.
The lumpy red liquid ran along the tile and stuck to the floor. "What the hell did you do now?" Brittany ran to get some wet paper towels, to clean up her mess. "Nothing honey, just. It's nothing. Do you want a beer?"

That night, Brittany went to bed right after dinner, blaming her tiredness on an oncoming migraine, Collin let her be excused without any questions.
She tucked herself in and curled up into a secure position. Oh how she wished Santana was with her. She just needed someone to hold her, to tell her that everything would be alright.
Because Collin never did.

Brittany hummed to the song in her head.

Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep.
I'm tired and I.
I want to go to bed.
Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep.
And then leave me alone.

No matter how hard she prayed at night, she knew her best friend was gone from her life and she was never coming back. "San..." She breathed softly into the night.
It was almost as if she could feel her touch up on her. "San... Please, find me." Her voice was trembling with fear. She remembers, because her eyes were overflowing with tears. Just one more memory, and they would be flowing freely.

Don't try to wake me in the morning.
Cause I will be gone.
Don't feel bad for me.
I want you to know.
Deep in the cell of my heart.
I will feel so glad to go.

Brittany feared that she would never be alright, she feared that she would be trapped in this nightmare until the end of time, or simply until she gave up.
Giving up, it was much easier said than done. She knew she had to try, she had to survive this, but for whom was she doing it for? It used to be for Santana. Everything she did, was for her.
The little hope that remained, it was always for Santana. But it was getting harder, when she knew, that there was no one on the receiving end.
Brittany kept giving and giving, but for what?
Did anything really matter anymore?

Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep.
I don't want to wake up.
On my own anymore.
Sing to me, sing to me.
I don't want to wake up.
On my own anymore.
There is another world.
There is a better world.
Well, there must be…

Pain no longer seared her body, she really didn't feel anything, yet her eyes closed on their own and sleep came upon her once more.