Anakin stayed in his room for a week. Obi-Wan did everything he could think of to draw him out. Nothing worked. So Obi-Wan brought him food for each meal on a tray and prayed that Anakin would eat something. The most Anakin could muster was about one meal a day, and he never came out unless he knew Obi-Wan had left. Obi-Wan spent a lot of time talking to him through the door. Anakin never answered unless it was to say, "Go away!"
Obi-Wan's guilt was a black hole, eating him up inside. He kept going over Elan's death in his mind, looking for things that could have gone differently. It all happened so fast. He thought maybe he should have healed him with Anakin's help. Then he'd remember how Elan screamed in pain, and wondered if twice the healing might have killed him faster.
Elan. He'd started to love him like a second son. He'd been happy, having him around, and almost forgot his jealousy. Now all he wanted was to hold Anakin. Kiss him better.
But Anakin didn't want that. He hated him. He'd said it twice. How could Obi-Wan ask for anything more from him?
So on the seventh day of suffocating loneliness, Obi-Wan decided he couldn't take it anymore. He was going to go out. He didn't know where, but he wasn't going to stay in the house anymore. He forced himself to shower, then get dressed, and brush his teeth and hair and groom his beard. He was starting to look shaggy.
It was after noon before he knew it. Obi-Wan wondered how long he'd slept in today, and he hoped for Anakin's sake that he was getting some sleep, too. He fixed something mild for the two of them and set one bowl of chicken noodle soup and a glass of water on a tray and took it up to Anakin. He placed the tray on the floor by Anakin's door and knocked on it softly. He heard Anakin's mattress creak and hoped that meant he was awake and listening.
"Hi, Anakin," Obi-Wan said sadly, "I brought lunch up to you. I'm sorry I'm a little off schedule."
He thought he heard quiet footsteps approach the door. But Anakin didn't unlock it.
"Anyway, I'm going out for a while." Obi-Wan thought he'd ask even though Anakin wouldn't reply. "Do you want to come with me?"
There was silence.
"Okay, darling. I love you. Please call if you need me. I won't be gone too long." Obi-Wan waited a moment before turning around and walking down the stairs and out the door.
After Obi-Wan had left, the doorbell rang. And it kept ringing and ringing until Anakin was pissed enough to get out of bed and go see who it was. He almost threw open the door but checked the peephole first. It looked like Barriss.
Anakin smoothed a hand through his tangled hair and then over the wrinkles in his pajamas, if only to not look like a total mess. He opened the door and Barriss withdrew her hand from the doorbell.
"Hi, Anakin," she said softly, looking him over for a second, "I heard about what happened. I'm really sorry."
Anakin nodded, still confused why she would bother visiting him at home.
"Well, I've been meaning to apologize to you for a long time," Barriss said, "I know I should have done it sooner. So I've got an offer for you."
Anakin waited for her to say more.
"I'm having a party tonight. Before you say no, hear me out. If you come, you can drink your heart out with Corellian rum. It makes you forget everything, I promise. And I won't drink at all so I can watch over you. I won't let you do anything you'll regret."
Anakin liked the sound of that.
"Do you need a ride?" she asked.
"Depends," Anakin said. "Is Ahsoka going?"
"I can send her by your house."
Anakin remembered how mad he was at Ahsoka the other day. "Actually, I'm not sure she'll want to talk to me."
Barriss replied, "She told me about your fight. I think I can get her to pick you up anyway."
"Alright," Anakin said.
"Be ready at seven," she told him.
Anakin nodded and watched her walk down the stairs before going back inside.
Obi-Wan drove into town and parked by the café. He was so tired. He ordered a large caf to go and started strolling along the sidewalks of the town. The leaves on the trees were turning orange and scarlet. A cool breeze caressed his face and Obi-Wan shifted his caf into his other hand to warm his fingers. A flier taped to a stop sign caught his eye and Obi-Wan read "Annual Fall Festival at the Stars Park" at the top of the page. The details underneath revealed the festival was set for tonight at 6 p.m.
Obi-Wan checked his watch and figured he might as well check it out. He had an hour to kill so he visited a few shops along the path he'd been walking. He hoped to find something Anakin would like, but everything he found made him guilty for smiling. At a certain point Obi-Wan realized nothing he could buy would bring the same smile to Anakin's face. He sighed and checked his watch for the third time, then exited the comic book store and looked up at the sky. It had gotten dark quickly. Obi-Wan threw away his caf cup and sent a text to Anakin, saying he would be home later than expected. He put his phone in a pocket on his belt and then headed for Stars Park, wrapping his cloak around him to stay warm.
The park was alive with music and lights strung from here to there and everywhere. People he'd never seen before were out and about, chatting, some dancing, others singing drunkenly. Obi-Wan smiled at their foolishness and thought about getting a drink himself. It was too bad he hadn't made very many friends in the weeks since they'd moved to Coruscant, or else he might have called somebody to meet him. Obi-Wan wove through the crowd to where they were serving food and bought two deliciously drenched caramel apples to go, unable to help himself. Anakin would enjoy it when he worked up the appetite. Then Obi-Wan ordered a malt and sat at the makeshift bar counter, sipping his drink as he watched the merriment of others.
He had just about finished his malt off with a slight buzz when he saw Padmé in the crowd, dancing with Rex. That was strange. She was wearing a white sequin dress that reflected all the lights shining around her, and he was wearing his Sheriff's uniform still. Obi-Wan knew Padmé had taken a few days off from work to recover, and Rex had, of course, kept working in an effort to find and catch Elan's killer. After staying the night and making sure the house was secure, Rex posted several other officers to guard them in shifts, which Obi-Wan was grateful for. But he hadn't expected either of them to go out, especially not together. Just then, Rex leaned down and kissed Padmé, and Obi-Wan was on his feet and moving through the crowd in an instant.
The two of them looked surprised to see him. Obi-Wan took Rex's arm and said calmly, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Rex looked uneasy but he nodded, and Obi-Wan led him by the arm to a tarp-covered canopy tent—luckily, nothing had been set up inside yet besides a small table and a lit lantern. Rex wrenched his arm out of Obi-Wan's grip and crossed his arms. "I'm not a child," he said.
Obi-Wan let his anger show. "But she is, Rex. She's ten years younger than you."
"You're seven years older than Cody!"
It took Obi-Wan a second to register why Rex knew that, then he regretted having a drink. He took a step closer to Rex. "Regardless of age, I'm more concerned about your motivations," he told him.
"What's that supposed to mean? Do you think I would hurt her?"
"Did you forget that you kissed me?" Obi-Wan retorted.
Rex's mouth parted, and then he set his jaw. "I didn't forget."
"Her last boyfriend used her to get to Anakin. I don't want you doing the same thing with me."
"I don't have feelings for you, Obi-Wan. Yes, I care about you, but I don't—I'm not—"
"I really don't care if you're gay or bi or straight, or something else. I just need to know, beyond a doubt, that you don't feel anything for me."
"I told you—" Rex said.
"But I don't believe you," Obi-Wan interrupted. Then he said, "You never told me why you kissed me."
Rex avoided his gaze and replied, "I don't know! You had this look to you. I just—I don't know."
"Have you thought about kissing me since then?" Obi-Wan pressed.
Rex wore a hard expression and didn't answer.
"You need to decide, Rex," Obi-Wan said, "before you start anything with my daughter."
"How can I decide when we didn't even finish the first kiss?" he said.
Obi-Wan stepped closer to him, held his face in his hands and said, "Decide now," and kissed him, incensed and rushed and hard before Rex shoved him away. His eyes were livid.
"You want a hook-up? Is that it? To heal your broken heart?" Rex accused.
Obi-Wan felt his throat close up.
"Go find somebody else to use," Rex said, and left the tent heatedly.
Obi-Wan watched the lantern on the small table flicker before grabbing his bag of caramel apples and going home
Ahsoka arrived at seven and rang the doorbell. Anakin came to the door and immediately tried to apologize to her.
Ahsoka held up her hand to stop him. "It's alright, Anakin. I'm sorry too. How are you doing?"
Anakin thought he'd cleaned himself up decently. He wore all black robes—no brown at all. His eyes were dark too. He shook his head.
"You sure you wanna go out tonight?" she asked gently.
"Yeah," Anakin said. "I wanna forget everything."
"Okay. Anytime you want to come home, just tell me."
Anakin nodded. "Let's go."
Ahsoka drove them to Barriss' house in her round orange car. She turned the radio off the second a love song came on. Which was when she started the car. Anakin eyed her curiously and she mustered a smile for him. His eyes slid over her slim black dress and he looked out the window before muttering, "You look nice."
"Thank you," she said in her sing-songy voice. Though the two of them together made it seem like they were going to a funeral.
"You met anybody new since our 'breakup?'" Anakin asked.
Ahsoka laughed a little. "No," she replied. "If you still want me to be your 'girlfriend,' I'm cool with it."
Anakin hummed. "Dunno," he said, "You make a good best friend."
Ahsoka smiled for real and gave his hand a squeeze before parking down the road from Barriss' house. They walked up to the front door, the music emanating from it not as loudly as last time. One of their classmates let them in and they found Barriss soon enough, wearing a darker shade of green and sitting on the kitchen counter, watching everyone have fun.
"Hi, Barriss," Ahsoka called.
Barriss spotted them and hopped off the counter. "I'm really glad you could make it," she said, then met Anakin's eyes. "Follow me," she told him, curling her finger towards herself.
Anakin remembered when Elan had done that, and he'd chased him around his bedroom. He swallowed hard and followed her to one of the kitchen cupboards, where she climbed on the counter and pulled out a bottle of the promised Corellian rum from high up. It had a dark, intriguing color. Barriss set it on the counter, then picked a plastic cup for him and a mug on second thought. She climbed down, smiling, and asked, "How would you like to drink it?"
"Plain?" he answered.
"Okay," she replied hesitantly, "Taste it first and then tell me if you want something else in it." She poured a little into the plastic cup and handed it to Anakin.
He moved to toss it back and Barriss caught his arm. "Not so fast!" she said. "It's strong stuff. Ahsoka, do you want some?"
Ahsoka shook her head. "Not tonight."
Anakin sipped the rum slowly, deliberating over the taste. "What can I have this with?" he asked.
Barriss smiled. "I can put some spices in it. Brown sugar. Milk. You can have it cold with a coke, or in a cup of hot chocolate."
Anakin decided all of those sounded good and Barriss was happy to oblige him. Ahsoka was a little concerned. But if both she and Barriss kept an eye on him, she'd be glad Anakin was getting a break from reality.
Anakin finished his buttered rum in no time, it seemed, and he could feel the stuff clouding his system. But that only urged him on more. Barriss poured a soda over the rum in a plastic cup and Anakin enjoyed that one too, drinking it faster than he should have. He asked for another. Barriss made it for him, and Anakin started to feel like the party music was moving through him, a dull beat underneath the trilling high notes and the weepy singer's voice.
Anakin grabbed Ahsoka's hand and announced, "I wanna dance!"
She smiled and waved to Barriss as they left the kitchen and joined the others in the crowded family room. The wood floors seemed a little wobbly underneath his feet and Anakin grinned when Ahsoka tried to steady him. "I like this song," he said.
"Me too," Ahsoka replied, trying not to laugh.
They'd only danced for a minute when a boy with antennapalps caught Anakin's eye. "Elan!" he called.
Ahsoka's face fell as she realized who Anakin was looking at. He slipped away from her before she could stop him.
Anakin spun him around before saying his name with all the adoration he had and pressed a kiss to his lips.
Anakin got a forceful shove in return. "I ain't Elan," he growled. Anakin squinted at him and realized it was Elan's friend Derryck. Derryck took a sip of his drink and mumbled, "Elan's gone."
Ahsoka pulled Anakin back to her as he held his head. "Elan's gone?" he said.
"He means Elan's not at the party," Ahsoka tried to keep up the charade.
It didn't help. Anakin remembered. He strode back to Barriss and asked for another. He stopped her when she tried to pour a coke over the rum. "Plain, please," he said.
"You sure?"
"Yes!"
Barriss gave him a little and he took it in one swallow before bringing the cup down on the counter. "More."
She gave him less than before and he noticed. "Mooore."
Barriss sighed and filled the cup. Anakin drank it until his mind was a blur. This time he took Barriss' hand and led her to the dance floor. He felt almost like he was floating. Song after song passed and Anakin decided this was his dream state, to be half in numbness and half in the universe itself—lights, and colors, and sounds, and faces—so many faces—was that Obi-Wan?
Anakin drifted away from Barriss to get a closer look. It sure looked like him. He had a full beard, but not one of those bushy ones—and golden bangs that hung in his eyes as he danced—clothes that looked soft and thin like he would've worn in Tatooine. Anakin got a little closer, and Obi-Wan opened his eyes, and in all the blurriness Anakin thought they were a perfect match. Obi-Wan pulled him close with an arm around his back, and held his hand high in the air, tipping them from side to side stupidly as the stereos blared out a tune from a musical. Anakin laughed. Obi-Wan spun him around and held him close, their hands still linked together. "Who knew I'd find myself an Annie to dance with," Obi-Wan said.
"Father?" Anakin questioned, tipping his head back to look at him.
Obi-Wan let go of him. "What did you call me?"
"Father," Anakin repeated, more confused than ever.
Obi-Wan sneered and retorted, "I'm not your daddy."
Anakin tried to grab his hand as Obi-Wan walked away. Next thing he knew he was on the floor, his face pounding. Obi-Wan shook out his hand and muttered, "Freak."
Ahsoka pulled him off the floor. "Anakin, are you alright?" she asked anxiously.
"M'fine," he said, his words slurring, "That wasn't my father, was it?"
Ahsoka quirked an eyebrow at him. "Not at all. He's some jock from school." She looked at faux-Obi-Wan as he went back to drinking. "I'll admit, he has the same hair." She looked at Anakin again. "You sure you're alright?"
Anakin's gaze was drawn back to faux-Obi-Wan as he grabbed a girl by the waist and pulled her close to him. He ground against her hips, and then against her plush behind, and Anakin felt heat gathering in his stomach. "I wanna go home," he said.
"Sure thing." Ahsoka went to tell Barriss they were leaving, and thanks for the party. They got in her car and drove home.
When Obi-Wan arrived home two hours earlier, he shed his cloak at the door and closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall. How stupid he'd been. Everything he said was genuine—he really was worried about Padmé and Rex's previous behavior—but at the same time, he couldn't deny he'd wished Rex had chosen him—just for that night, to help him forget. But it was a bad idea from its subconscious start. A night with Rex would probably just remind him of the ways Cody humiliated him, regardless of how Rex was or what they did. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It would have made him guilty too, being away from Anakin. He'd rather have Anakin by his side at night, holding him close, kissing his hair, saying sweet things to help him relax—but that was Anakin without grief. What Anakin needed now was the reverse. For Obi-Wan to be the comforter. And Obi-Wan thought he could manage that, if only Anakin would let him…
Obi-Wan was determined to get through to Anakin tonight, even if he had to break the lock on his door. He put the caramel apples in the fridge and went upstairs, planning a speech that he hoped Anakin wouldn't resist.
He knocked on Anakin's door quietly, as always, trying not to disturb him too much. There was no movement behind the door that Obi-Wan could detect. He cleared his throat. "Anakin," he said firmly.
No response.
"Anakin, I'm home, and I really missed you. I bought you something sweet to eat at the Fall Festival. I bought one for me too. I want to see the look on your face when you try it. It's that delicious."
Still no response. Obi-Wan frowned. "Please, Anakin. I need you. You need me. We can get through this together…" Obi-Wan tried the door handle and found it unlocked. With a bad feeling in his gut, he swung the door open, and discovered Anakin's bed empty. He looked around the room once more. No Anakin. The bathroom?
Anakin wasn't there either. Nor was he in Obi-Wan's room, or Padmé's, or the family room or the dining room or the kitchen or the basement. He wasn't home at all!
Obi-Wan felt panic in his lungs. What if Elan's killer had returned? What if Anakin had been dragged off somewhere and then…?
Obi-Wan couldn't take his imagination running wild. He raced down the stairs outside the house and banged on the door of the policeman's car.
The middle-aged man rolled down his window and rubbed his groggy eyes. "What is it?" he asked.
"I can't find my son," Obi-Wan said, "Did you see him leave the house?"
"A little Togruta girl picked him up a while ago. You didn't know?"
Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief. At least Anakin had gone somewhere with Ahsoka. But where? And at this time of night?
"Hello?" called the officer.
"No," Obi-Wan replied, "Thank you."
Obi-Wan went back to the house and forced himself to wait. After half an hour he was anxious again, jumping at the slightest sound, so he sat cross-legged on the carpet and tried to meditate. It seemed to get harder every time he tried it.
Another half-hour passed, and then two more, and finally the doorbell rang. Obi-Wan stood up and ran to the door. He threw it open and saw Anakin standing there.
"Anakin! I was so worried!" Obi-Wan exclaimed.
Anakin smiled at him a little as Obi-Wan starting lecturing about curfews and keeping in contact with him and being responsible. Soon Obi-Wan ran out of air and just pulled Anakin into a tight hug. Then his brows furrowed and he moved back, his gaze dropping to the unusual stretch in Anakin's pants.
"I'm drunk," Anakin said, "and I wanna have sex."
Obi-Wan closed his mouth and wore a mild, if not slightly embarrassed, expression. "Yes, I know," he said.
Anakin reached for him and stumbled as he tried stepping into the house. Obi-Wan caught him and Anakin was limp in his arms before he got his footing back. Obi-Wan kept his hold on Anakin as the boy looked into his eyes with unparalleled lust. "Do you want to have sex?" Anakin asked, the words coming out slow and slurred.
"Not particularly," Obi-Wan replied, Anakin's robes slipping through his grip. He shut the door and held Anakin closer.
Anakin made a muffled noise that Obi-Wan suspected was something dangerously close to a moan. Anakin blinked slowly and smirked as he said, "I mean... Do you want to have sex... with me?"
Obi-Wan felt heat in his cheeks. He attempted to clear his throat. "Anakin, do you know who you're talking to?" he asked.
Anakin squinted at him and touched his face and ran his fingers through his beard. "Father," he said.
"Yes," Obi-Wan told him, "I am your father. And I know what's best for you, don't I?"
Anakin started caressing Obi-Wan's cheeks. "What's best for me... Show me..."
"You're very drunk, Anakin," said Obi-Wan, "so I'm going to put you to bed."
"Nooo," Anakin whined, "I'm not tired! I want—I want—" He leaned in to kiss Obi-Wan suddenly.
Obi-Wan dodged him and stooped to carry him. He stood up with Anakin's legs wrapped around his waist. Anakin comprehended the change in position after a few seconds and held onto Obi-Wan, opting to kiss his neck instead as they went up the stairs. He held the side of Obi-Wan's neck with his hand, the other gripping Obi-Wan's back as his lips fulfilled a fraction of his fantasies. Obi-Wan didn't stop him. He nudged Anakin's bedroom door open and untangled their bodies as he set Anakin down on the bed. Then he stepped away. Anakin moaned and made grabby hands for him.
Obi-Wan frowned. He sounded like he was in pain. Obi-Wan sat on the side of the bed and pushed Anakin back against the pillow as he tried to sit up. Anakin pouted, another mournful sound escaping his mouth.
"Hush now, Anakin. I'm here," Obi-Wan said softly. "This is what we're going to do." He brushed Anakin's hair away from his forehead and left his hand on the side of Anakin's face. "Count to fifty and then tell me if you still want to have sex."
"Fifty?" Anakin said.
Obi-Wan nodded.
Anakin sighed. "One... Two... Four..."
"Three," Obi-Wan said.
"Three," Anakin corrected, "Four, five, six..." He watched anxiously as Obi-Wan got up. Obi-Wan didn't leave, but took off Anakin's boots for him instead. "Seven eight nine... Nine..."
"Ten," Obi-Wan supplied.
Anakin smiled. "Ten," he said confidently, "Elan... No, e-lev-en... twelve, thirty, forty, fifty!"
Obi-Wan laughed slightly. "I think you skipped some." He sat beside Anakin again and tugged off his belt, setting it on the nightstand afterwards. Anakin watched Obi-Wan for any sign that his hands would return to his clothes, but they didn't.
"Start back at thirteen," Obi-Wan advised.
"Father," Anakin protested, "You're mean."
"Thirteen," Obi-Wan repeated.
"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen," Anakin mumbled grumpily. Obi-Wan pulled back what he could of the blankets and did the same on the other side of the bed. "Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty... Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three..." Anakin was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "Twenty-four..." Obi-Wan had him shimmy under the blankets. "Twenty... five..." Anakin closed his eyes, his mouth still open slightly. Obi-Wan turned to go. Anakin's hand gripped his suddenly.
"Don't leave," Anakin pleaded.
Obi-Wan looked down at him, torn.
"I don't want to be alone anymore," Anakin confessed. "Don't leave."
Obi-Wan squeezed his hand. "Alright," he whispered, "I won't leave." He let go of Anakin's hand and closed the bedroom door. He turned off the light and dressed down to his undershirt and boxers before getting in bed with Anakin. The blankets were already warmed by the heat of Anakin's body.
"Everyone leaves," Anakin said shakily.
Obi-Wan pulled him close despite every logical thought telling him it was a bad idea. "I'll never leave you. Never." He tilted his head and pressed his lips to Anakin's to get the message across.
Anakin wasn't sure if he was dreaming but he melted into Obi-Wan anyway. Obi-Wan pulled back just slightly and let their foreheads touch. His arms guided Anakin to lie across his chest, and then he let his fingers drift through Anakin's hair. He smelled like cinnamon and sweat, but after their time apart, Obi-Wan didn't find it an unpleasant combination. He murmured, "Sleep now, Anakin. You'll be thankful for it in the morning."
"Love you," Anakin said, muffled against Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"Love you too," Obi-Wan said, and he felt like ten tons of stone had been lifted off him.
They were both asleep not long after that.
It was a deep sleep for Obi-Wan. So deep that when he woke up wet in the early morning, he was deeply confused. His first thought was Anakin. Anakin was passed out next to him, his arm draped over Obi-Wan's neck somewhat chokingly, but otherwise he'd shifted over so he wasn't lying on Obi-Wan's chest anymore. Obi-Wan felt the sheets, and those were dry, so he felt what he could of Anakin's clothes, and those were dry too. Tentatively, Obi-Wan felt his own clothes, and nearly cursed when he found the source within his own boxers—most certainly the result of a dream—a dream he couldn't remember—or could he?
Anakin was in Obi-Wan's bed, sprawled out and touching himself, completely free of clothing. Even in the dream Obi-Wan had a moment of resistance, but when Anakin caught him trying to leave, he called to him. "Don't deny me anymore," he begged, "Don't leave."
So Obi-Wan didn't leave. His clothes joined Anakin's on the floor, and then he joined Anakin on the bed, and to Obi-Wan's delight Anakin was already ready for him—loose with alcohol and his own fingers—and oh, Obi-Wan knew all of it was wrong but he didn't care. Not tonight. Anakin was pliant in his arms, and so very loud, moaning at every touch. "Father, please!"
Obi-Wan kept waiting for him to say, "Stop," but he never did. So he kissed him, and licked him, and fucked him endlessly. It was a deep sleep. Deep in Anakin. Deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper —
Obi-Wan sat up and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Anakin!" Even though Anakin couldn't hear, and didn't know, he said it. Obi-Wan raised his head and looked at Anakin, his face pressed into the pillow, stomach flat against the mattress. "It's not fair to you," he said, "I shouldn't want you. I shouldn't."
Anakin didn't stir. Obi-Wan watched his body rise and fall for a few breaths before going to clean himself up.
The first thing Anakin did in the morning was groan. Softly at first, as he realized he was no longer sleeping as deeply as he'd like. Then louder, as his head throbbed, and the ache spread throughout his body from all his dancing and drinking. He rolled over and saw Obi-Wan beside him in the little bed.
Anakin jumped back. Then checked that he was still wearing his clothes. Yep. So they hadn't… Anakin shook his head. Of course they hadn't. Then a slice of memory hit him and he checked to see that this was his Obi-Wan, not the guy who'd danced with him and promptly punched him in the face for his misidentification. It was Obi-Wan. Anakin breathed a sigh of relief. But he wondered what had convinced him to sleep in Anakin's admittedly smaller bed. After all the time Anakin had ignored him and pushed him away. After what he'd said.
"Father," Anakin called softly, tucking a piece of Obi-Wan's hair behind his ear.
Obi-Wan blinked awake after a few more touches. He smiled wearily. "Good morning, Anakin."
Anakin frowned. "I'm sorry, Father. For everything."
Obi-Wan searched his eyes and realized he wasn't talking solely about his night of underage drinking. So he pulled Anakin snug against him again and dipped his head into the curve of Anakin's neck. "All is forgiven," he said, "I'm sorry too. Sorry I couldn't save him."
Anakin hugged him hard, the familiar sting behind his eyes rising up again. "Not your fault," he managed.
They stayed like that awhile, Obi-Wan fighting the impulse to kiss him, Anakin fighting the impulse to cry. "When will I see Elan again?" he implored.
Obi-Wan didn't know. "I'll ask Rex."
Anakin curled his fingers in Obi-Wan's undershirt.
"Are you sure you want to see him, my darling?"
Anakin nodded against him.
Obi-Wan replied gently, "He won't look the same."
Anakin continued working his fingers around the bundle of fabric in his hand. "I still want to see him."
Obi-Wan turned his head and pressed a long kiss to Anakin's cheek. He ran his fingers through Anakin's hair, noticing a few speckles of glitter. "Okay," he said, "I'm going to make you some caf. Think you can manage a shower?"
Anakin groaned. He just wanted to stay in bed.
Obi-Wan smiled a little. "Brush your teeth?"
Anakin covered his mouth, embarrassed, but he nodded.
"Alright. Meet you downstairs." Obi-Wan pulled away from Anakin and got out of bed. He went to the kitchen and started a pot of caf. Anakin got up after a couple minutes and brushed his teeth, then met Obi-Wan downstairs. It was a miracle.
Obi-Wan had Anakin drink two small cups of caf and then water for the rest of the day. Anakin couldn't recall how much he'd had to drink but he was grateful he hadn't thrown up on Obi-Wan the night before. Or on anyone else. He also couldn't remember what he'd asked for when he'd gotten home, but Obi-Wan wasn't going to bring it up. Now or ever. Obi-Wan also decided he'd have to have a talk with Ahsoka at some point. For now, he'd have to brave starting a conversation with Rex…
"Hi Rex, it's Obi-Wan. Sorry about last night—"
Anakin's ears perked up as he watched Obi-Wan from the kitchen table.
"Anyway, I'm calling for Anakin's sake. He wants to know when it would be possible to see Elan." Obi-Wan fiddled with the phone cord, trying to remember if there was anything else. "Oh, and if there's any news about Elan, please let me know. Thanks." Obi-Wan hung up and rubbed his forehead.
"What happened last night?" Anakin asked, bringing a glass of water to his lips.
Obi-Wan turned and went to the fridge. "Nothing, Anakin. But I did buy you something." He grabbed the bag of caramel apples and put each of them on a plate. Obi-Wan's had a bite taken out of it. He set the unbitten one in front of Anakin and sat across from him at the table before taking another bite of his.
"Something happened," Anakin insisted, "Or else you wouldn't apologize for it."
Obi-Wan huffed. "Do I have to tell you everything, Anakin?"
Anakin looked down at his apple before meeting Obi-Wan's eyes again. "I thought that was the sort of relationship we had."
Obi-Wan relented. "Fine. I saw Rex and Padmé on a date."
"What? Rex and Padmé?"
"I know."
"She never tells me anything!" Anakin said.
"Can you blame her?" Obi-Wan replied.
"I guess we don't tell her much," Anakin admitted, "So what did you do?"
"I pulled Rex aside and said I had a problem with it."
"Because…?"
"Because he's ten years older than her. And her superior. And because he kissed me."
"I see," Anakin said cryptically.
"Don't go saying I'm jealous, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied, "Wouldn't you be concerned? Isn't it a little weird for him to kiss me and then kiss my daughter?"
"I guess so," Anakin said, "I mean, maybe he got carried away with you."
Suddenly Obi-Wan thought they weren't talking about Rex. Cautiously, he ventured, "The age gap. The imbalance of power. And the family relationships. It wouldn't bother you?"
"Love doesn't understand those things."
"Anakin…"
"What?" Anakin said defensively.
"Even if there's love on both sides, those things still matter. They make a difference."
"They might make a difference," Anakin replied stubbornly, "Or it's love that's going to last. You can't go around living in fear."
"But people get hurt by those things. That stays with them."
"If they're strong, they'll adapt."
"And what makes us strong, Anakin?"
Anakin pressed his lips together. "Each other."
"So if two people like us broke up, what would happen to that strength?"
Anakin was quiet for a second. "Maybe Rex and Padmé should be more careful. But you and me?" He paused. "We're forever."
Obi-Wan dropped it. "Of course we are, Anakin. Always and forever."
Anakin smiled and finally gave his caramel apple a try.