A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but new chapters are coming! This is another Emma-less one but the next will be completely dedicated to our savior and her PoV. Pieces by Trixie Whitley is an amazing song. I hope you enjoy.
Step by step he's getting further. Away from his father, away from the bad thoughts crushing anything else. Branches snap under his determined strump. It doesn't take long before his feet land on the hard concrete of the street. He keeps walking, no specific direction in mind. The air turns humid and the scent of rain fills Killian's nostrils. And indeed the first drops fall.
Leaving his own brother's funeral that hurriedly is atrocious. He left Hazel alone with all of the mourners and responsibility for everything, despite their promise to support each other. Killian could just not help to think of the moment when Liam and he, just small, innocent children, discovered that their father was indeed gone. He can still recall the moment where his heart completely shattered.
The grief over their mother still ached and the bastard decided to leave. Chose to abandon his sons. Their mother didn't have a choice, she fought against the illness. She tried to stay with them until her breathing slowed down and her pulse stopped, until she was forced to quit.
It is a stark contrast.
Killian stands still. It seems he was not only running away from things but getting closer to something too. The big brass letters are those he has seen many times before. They seem smaller now, but he has also grown considerably since his mother was still there. The joy he felt each time Mum would surprise them with a trip to the zoo is far from what he's feeling now, yet he still feels like visiting.
The young girl at the counter hands him the ticket and Killian enters. The rain has caused the place to be abandoned. There are still some parents walking around with their umbrella while their child in brightly colored raincoat runs about excitedly pointing at every animal. He feels his lips curve slightly at the sight.
It doesn't matter that the zoo has changed or that some spots where memories lay of his childhood have disappeared. The happy essence this place emits is contagious.
Instead of completely derailing Killian, the bad thoughts slow down, following their designated tracks again.
He walks around for a bit, the drops of rain splashing on his head and collar. Eventually, Killian reaches the bench. It is clearly replaced or repainted but it looks the same as on the picture Liam took. He can imagine his mother sitting on it. Her smile as bright as the absent sun. Across her, his older brother, capturing the moment for decades to come. Killian's mind draws their faces and silhouettes right on the place they once stood.
The laugh that comes out of his mouth is somewhat hysterical, making the people surrounding him frown. He must be a sight: the lonely, grown man with a beard and in a suit standing in the rain, laughing at things that only take place in his head, but he doesn't care. As long as the feeling fades away in a bit.
He sits on the bench and feels the water seep through the fabric of his pants. After a while, the rain falls down unnoticed by Killian. The pondering is all that remains.
Mum and Liam are both gone, his father is not and maybe that is unfair but it is an opportunity.
For such a long time he craved for his father's return. Anyhow, the years had passed and Killian had grown to deny the existence of the man. He had his brother, more of a father figure than Brennan ever would be. No man worthy of the name father would copy his actions. Liam was more than enough. He was family.
His father might not be family right now but he could become it again. They still share the same blood. Killian is far too often reminded of that. They look alike and if anyone has inherited Brennan's character, it would be Killian.
Forgiveness will heal the pain of abandonment, of all those moments. Or so he hopes. He knows Liam would be overjoyed if they finally mended their bond. Compassion and kindness were traits he got from Mum. Nothing has to be rushed. This needs to go slowly, piece by piece. It should start by Killian tolerating Brennan's presence. Every step past that will be an improvement. They could maybe even talk.
Something tells Killian that the first suture to heal the wound has been made.
When he returns to the house, Hazel is sitting on the couch. Her black clothes have been replaced by a large woolen sweater and a pair of joggings. Her hands are cradling the cup of tea she occasionally sips of. Killian shivers while entering the warm room. There is not a spot left dry and even though he first did not mind the rain, he started to feel cold as he was walking back. The sound Killian makes turns Hazel's gaze to him.
Her lips softly turn upwards in greeting. Killian would love to talk to her right now, but if he stays in these clothes, he will surely catch a cold. Motioning to the stairs, he silently asks permission to go change. She nods without a doubt and Killian goes to his room, the promise that they will talk on his lips.
"I apologize, Hazel, for leaving you all alone," he says when he reappears downstairs.
The drenched suit has been taken off and Killian dried his hair and body with one of the towels. Simulating Hazel, he changed into comfortable and more importantly rainless clothing.
Hazel shifts on the couch, creating a space for Killian to sit down in.
"It's my fault, Killian. I should have told you I asked him to come," she answers.
Hazel is not to blame for his departure, that was his own fault.
"You did the right thing," Killian says while shaking his head. "I was wrong for running away but I realize that now."
Hazel's eyebrows slightly crease.
"What changed your mind?"
His shoulders rise in a shrug. It isn't an indifferent one but more of an easy way to admit what has taken place at the zoo. How the ghosts of his mother and Liam have forced Killian to look inside and made him decide what kind of man he wants to be.
"Liam."
Hazel's gray irises watch him intently, showing her interest in what happened in the moments after he left the funeral and came back to the house. Her look is open, though, not demanding anything. She lets Killian tell the things he wants to share and at his own pace.
"I took a page out of Liam's book," Killian continues, "He would have liked a reconciliation of the Joneses, even if he wasn't there to make peace."
"Yes, he would've. I'm happy you made the right choice, Killian."
Besides the small smile on her face, Killian detects the glimmer of Hazel's eyes. To console her, he opens his arms to welcome her into a hug.
"I haven't gone through the pictures yet. Do you want to do it together?" her lips mumble against Killian's shirt.
Killian nods.
"I would love to."
The pile of pictures is a big one, Liam being a man of the world and of the people. It seems like everyone went out of their way to find some sort of image to commemorate him. Some pictures have notes attached to them or written on their backside, some are recent, some are old. It's an emotional roller coaster but it is dominated by the pride of his brother and his life Killian feels. It ended way too soon but at least he had a full one full of love and joy.
"I think I'm going to make an album with all of these in them," Hazel says.
There's is no response on his part.
"Killian?"
She walks towards him. Killian has been staring at the small photograph held between his index and thumb.
"So, what's next?" Hazel asks him, commenting on the faded picture Brennan gave at the funeral.
"I suppose I have to talk to my father."
Killian decides to wait in the living room while Hazel goes and opens the door. He can't decide if the feeling in his body is nervousness or just the urge to get this all over with.
"Brennan." Killian shortly nods his head to acknowledge his father when he enters.
Despite his newly founded resolution, Killian can't help the cold use of his father's first name. It just has been too long.
"Killian," he answers with a warm smile. "Thank you for the invitation."
Brennan's contentment is earnest and it vouches for the reasons why Killian even considered meeting him. His father wants to make up, wants to accept anything Killian is willing to give.
"I see the walls haven't been painted since I've been around," Brennan attempts to joke but all it does is remind Killian of the last time he was here with his father.
"Alright, Brennan," Killian says, trying to make some things clear. "I'm doing this because Liam would have wanted it. If it depended on me, I would avoid all contact but we are the only two left."
Brennan moves his head in understanding.
"I get it, Killian. I'm not expecting anything. Well, nothing but a conversation."
"Do you want some tea to accompany said conversation?" Hazel chimes in.
Both men turn to her with a thankful look and agree with her proposal. Disappearing into the kitchen, Hazel leaves father and son awkwardly standing around each other. It takes time to adjust after so many years.
The clutter of the cups that sounds when Hazel brings the tea relieves the tension. They all sit down at the table and after some tentative sips of the hot drink to see if it has cooled down enough, they start the conversation.
"I know the things that I did are unforgivable, I feel like I need to explain, however."
"An explanation is all I ever wanted," Killian replies.
A bit of a lie, but it is something he could settle for.
"When your mother died-" his father starts. "-It pained me so very much and the only thing that could force that pain to the background was alcohol."
Killian remembers that. His father would come home completely inebriated, stumbling on the stairs and waking the both of them up. Liam would help him undress and reach his bed while Brennan kept slurring his words, reproaching them of being too kind and not being men.
"Seeing you two, and especially you, Killian with her eyes and hair-" Brennan looks at Killian, right into his blue eyes. "- it made me drink even more. You were the image of her and at one point it all became too much. It was unreasonable of me to blame children, but the liquor blurred my judgment. It took me a while to realize I had a problem, but I'm sober now. I have been for years."
"That's good. Congratulations!" Hazel says proudly.
She widens her eyes, watching Killian and motions her head nearly undetectably. The gesture is meant to push Killian to praise his father for his success in abstaining from the liquid temptation, but more than a mumbled "well done" does not come out of his lips. Hazel shows her disappointment with a small sigh and turns back to Brennan.
"What do you do as work?" she inquires, abandoning the fixing of their relationship.
Small talk won't help much, nor is it Hazel's challenge to overcome. He simply needs to act normal and discuss what needs to be mentioned.
"I own a small store together with my wife."
The word startles Killian, snapping his gaze away from the table and to the man in front of him. Wife. He has a wife. Killian wasn't expecting this.
"You remarried?" slips out of him.
His father kept repeating how much he loved their mother, blamed her death for his departure and still, he found someone else to love. To love him.
"I did." Nodding his head, Brennan responds. "Her name is Maura and she's far better than I deserve. She's the one who made me stop drinking."
He says it with such admiration in his voice that Killian has no choice but to believe he really loves her. Killian knows a thing or two about second loves. He has been lucky enough to be granted one after things didn't work out with Milah. His father clearly had been too.
"Do you have- Did you have any children?" he tries to control his voice.
What if he has a half-brother or a half-sister? It would be amazing to gain some more family but would he be able to ignore the jealousy? The sting of envy every time he was reminded of that child not being left alone and being enough for their father to stay.
Luckily, Brennan quickly puts a stop to Killian's worries.
"No, we don't. It would not have been fair to you and brother."
The reassurance prompts Killian to finally do what he promised himself he would.
"I appreciate that. I'm aware that I've not been the most welcoming. I'm sorry for the way I treated you," Killian apologizes.
By holding up a hand, Killian prevents his father from intervening.
"It was most definitely bad form." A little huff follows. "I was so angry with you for years, but you have indeed changed and I'm definitely not that nine-year-old anymore."
Killian decides to return the favor and tell his father who he has become, what he does, what he loves.
"As you probably know, I live in the US now. I own a coffeehouse called 'A Cup of Jones' in Boston. Business is going very well and I have two incredible employees who have helped so much."
Killian smiles when he thinks of Aurora and Tink. They have not only helped in the café but in his personal life as well.
"I have actually met someone. Her name is Emma and she is … a challenge." he admits with a grin. "She's the most wonderful challenge and I love her."
Brennan smiles back.
For the next hour or so they talk. His father asks questions, Killian replies and vice versa. They genuinely get to know each other again after being estranged for twenty-two years. Both having changed incredibly, they are forced to start from the beginning and when they reach the end, it feels like the wound has closed.
His father stands up, pushing the chair behind him and making a sound. Killian follows.
"Thank you for allowing me to see you and to hear how well you are doing, Killian. I do hope we can keep contact."
Killian feels inclined to accept his father's cautious request.
"Even as a grown man, you still carry your mother with you. She would have been incredibly proud of you, son. As am I."
There is something in the words his father says that makes Killian's eyes burn with tears. He never saw the likeness with his mother, only saw the things she was and he lacked. The only traits he could find in himself were those damned ones of his father, but even he changed for the better. Since he was little, Killian thought he had lost both of his parents, but it appears he has not.
The distance between them both is closed as Killian approaches him for a hug.
"Thank you, father," he says, the emotion taking over.
When his father leaves, Killian goes back to Hazel who is reading a book in the couch. She swiftly understood that they needed to be with two for this and gave them their privacy, while still keeping an eye out.
"You are going back home, aren't you?"
Killian is amazed by how perceptive his sister-in-law is. He did not even have to say a word about how he thinks it is time for him to return to The States.
"I am," he answers, "Do you think you are going to be all right?"
It is a big house, filled with memories of Liam and to be here all alone to cope with them sounds difficult.
"It hurts, but I know that I will be."
The gray of her eyes has sadness in it, but her smile bears a trace of optimism. The book in her grip is closed and placed next to her. Hazel's slim hand takes hold of his.
"Thank you, Killian, for come here and helping me deal with everything. I don't know what I would have done without you."
And Killian does not know how he would have survived if it wasn't for her. He didn't even know her little more than a week ago and today Killian considers her family. Family that he reluctantly has to leave behind. He is going to miss her.
"Same goes for you, love," Killian responds.
"Come to visit me again, will you?"
"I will," Killian says to comfort her. "Should you decide to make a trip over the pond one day, give me a call."
"A call you shall receive. I'm curious about your café now." Her elbow nudges him teasingly.
"You'll have to come and see for yourself, then," he banters back. "Alright, I'm going upstairs to pack."
He stands up out of the leather sofa and walks towards the stairs. Before he can set a foot on them, Hazel's voice makes his head turn around.
"Oh, and Killian?"
"Aye?" His eyebrow rises.
"I'm so happy you have someone to return to now."
He is too.
I'm back to ask (beg) for a review