*I don't own A Monster in Paris or its characters
I wanted to update faster, but I've been trying to write through writers block and lack of inspiration. So I apologize if it's not that great, but hopefully some part of it is worth reading. And this is a really long chapter so I'm sorry about that too. And thanks to TheJokerMan95 and others for the constant support, it really helps my muse.
Chapter 9:61 days left
Tip toeing upstairs, he passed her door, down the unforgivingly noisy stairs. One little nob turned on the green light, above the round kitchen table. Passing his hands over the scratches that were made in the yesterdays, he scoured the shelves for something to eat. One jar of spiced peaches, two jars of pickled beats, half a loaf of bread, and a cup of sugar water. A terrible hunger ached to be satisfied as he swallowed it all down. If the ants could see him now, they would have envied his circumstances.
Passing the grandfather clock, he tried to disregard the time, though it was ten before seven in the morning. In his study, he changed into his black coat and matching chapeau, unsure of how he was going to leave without saying goodbye. He never went out without Lucille, and it felt like a betrayal. It would not be for long, and she could not know why, she could never know. However, she had the right to know where he was going.
Clearing away his sheet music in haste, he knocked his cologne bottle over, a gift from Lucille after their first show. He was quick to replace it back on the desk, but a bit of it dripped on his only clean sheet of paper. What would he say exactly? Dozens of thoughts knocked into each other, Lucille was like a fire in his heart. He burned, he breathed, he needed Lucille was what his thoughts kept telling him. Waves of intense discomfort washed over him, making his breath hitch a bit at the thought of her smile in such close proximity.
What would he say to settle the burdensome issue? How could he make her understand?
With his pen, he dictated the words of his heart, explaining his actions, repeating the waves of emotions.
He could still see it, the look of disappointment on her face. How she bit her lip and avoided his stare, how she tried not to cry, trying not to feel.
"I'm not sure I'm capable of those sort of feelings" Were the words that rang in his head, feelings of dread, and stupidity, so much stupidity. His hand paused in mid writing, and he looked out the window. Opening the window, one sniff told him the weather report. A small chance for rain, light fog, and Carlotta.
She was on her way, so he commenced his letter writing, hoping he could be out before anyone would notice.
Policeman rode their bicycles through the cobblestone streets, looking for early signs of crime. One passed the taxi like there was no tomorrow, though the woman inside it knew it wasn't him. The commissioner would be far too busy to be riding bicycles these days she thought.
The taxi stopped, letting out the plump woman and her suitcase. Now, no one would really bother asking where she went or how long she was gone for, unless you're a man with champagne to deliver. "Good morning Madame Carlotta, you're looking well rested. Did your trip with the commissioner go well?"
"Oh Raoul dear, don't be scandalous, we didn't go together. I was simply visiting a few relatives in the country side"
"Sure, I believe you, you sly thing. Anyway, I have your delivery of champagne"
Giving him a once over, the boy looked a bit thinner then usual, and perhaps in need of sleep. From her purse she had took a few coins and placed them in his pocket, hoping he would think about stopping for a bite. Then a fine idea occurred, at least it sounded fine to her. "Say dear, after you leave the champagne in the kitchen, why don't stay for a while and join us for breakfast?"
Thinking back to his recent misunderstanding, he thought it best if they avoided each other, at least until the hurt was forgotten. Scratching the back of his neck, he sighed. "I am hungry, but I have a busy day ahead of me. Perhaps a different time"
He looked a bit uncertain about his choice, but there wasn't much that could be done if he refused. Flashing him that all too familiar smile, she replied "Alright, have a good day Raoul dear. Don't be a stranger, come by when you're not"
Smiling weakly, he nodded. "I'll try"
She thought it was such a waste that Lucille couldn't like someone so unique, but life doesn't always go the way you plan it. Going through the alley way, she was about to knock when Francoeur opened the door. His towering figure in his worn coat and chapeau gave her a little scare, but then she remembered what Lucille tried to tell her. "This is you isn't it? This is what you really look like?"
She took a deep breath and smiled, "I must say you look thinner this way, although... " and what she had done next was unexpected. She took his hands, which were usually hidden inside a pair of white gloves, but were undisguised and natural in that moment. In all sincerity and kindness, she softened her eyes, exhibiting an unknown maternalness, and kissed them as though she provided a blessing. "Although you wear a suit quite well, I hope you will be comfortable enough to feel natural, that is when you find the time. Anyway, have a good morning sweetheart, I see you are on your way out. However, you are not here to tell me good morning, are you?"
Handing her a letter, he pointed to Lucille's name. "This is for her?"
Shaking his head yes, he helped her with the luggage, and nodded goodbye before he jumped away. Either Carlotta was unlucky or everyone was running away from her this morning, but the thought of a warm bath won her thoughts over, and a pair of nice slippers beckoned as well.
The sunlight poured in from the balcony like a stranger, chasing away the darkness of night and introduced the light. It's warmth blanketed over her as though it were telling her to wake, and she tossed and turned to avoid interrupted sleep, but to no avail. Shielding herself with the covers, she had hoped to sleep in, but the sound of her aunts voice ruined her plans. "It's time to wake up Lucille dear"
Blinking away the sleep, her eyes focused on the round face of her aunt, soft and kind. "When did you come back?"
"It's not important dear, what I really need to know is why your eyes are all swollen?"
Pulling away the covers, Lucille stretched and began to comb her hair. Looking at the comb, her eyes lowered. "It's nothing of importance, but... I... Do you if Francoeur is up yet? I need to speak with him"
"He left dear"
"What? When?"
"He left right after I got home, but I'm not sure where he was off to in such a hurry. The poor thing was almost naked, wearing just a coat and chapeau. He give me a bit of a fright, but you were right, he is something else."
Jumping out of bed, Lucille looked for her going out dress. So what if her hair was a mess, or that she was willing to skip her bath? She wasn't about to let Francoeur walk out. "I'm sorry auntie, but I have to go find him"
Love triangles and such were happening right before her and to think she was too busy half the time to enjoy them. Nevermind it she thought, living in the moment and for the future was more important. Making her niece sit, she covered her shoulders with a shawl and handed her a cup of coffee. "When you feel better, I think you should read this letter, that is if it means anything dear"
With the roll of the wrist, Lucille received it with reluctance. On the other side, in large bold letters, the curves of her name was written with the style of a doctor stole her attention. Her hands shook as she broke the wax seal, unsure if she was willing to read it's contents. Was it a farewell?
Lucille sat there for a few moments, quiet and listless, her emerald eyes glazed over.
"Francoeur is talented isn't he?" She commented
"Is something the matter dear?"
Unknown to her aunt, Lucille could smell hints of his cologne. The elegant strokes of his pen made her heart flutter, and she could imagine the the swiftness of his hands as he spelled her name. "The way my name is written on this page, it's so beautiful isn't it? What more do I need to know"
"No one goes through all that trouble just to write a pretty name. Go on, read it, I won't peek"
Taking a deep breath, she unfolded the letter, and this is how it read:
Dear Miss Lucille,
Do not be alarmed if you cannot find me in the morning, but I've gone to visit the professor for the day.
Last night, my behavior was reprehensible, and you must think me a blaggard for my persuasive nature. By no means did I intend to presume that we are what isn't, but I do like to dream of what could be. If I am not such a scoundrel as I think myself to be, then I will delight in the thought of being honest.
On a different note, I have had time to reflect and thought that since you have told me about your life, I think it is only appropriate that you hear about mine. Before we met, before any sort of self awareness I had, never had I known kindness, or affection, or anything you could call good. I am or like to think was, a parasite, a flea with the purpose to live, procreate and die. If it wasn't for the tomfoolery of monsieur Raoul, I would never have had the chance to know anything but the life of a flea. Now, looking the way I do, my life was set to be of disgrace and darkness, and for a little while as the monster in Paris.
Then I heard a voice, before I even know what a voice was, beautiful like life. I had to know, I had see where such a sound came from, and it lead me to you. Though we met in a peculiar manner, I found my voice, my self expression, the first signs of awareness. Then you heard me and you came back and I knew you were different. My first thoughts were how small you were, a little lady with a sweet voice. Giving me a name really was what won me over, Francoeur, or honest heart.
Dressing up was a bit amusing with all my arms here and there, and I wasn't sure where to put them. To be honest, with you dressing me up, I was embarrassed. I had never been in such a close proximity to a female, and thought you very appealing, especially your eyes and how they shone when excited. It's true, I didn't follow your direction completely, but it was difficult when there was so much to see and to learn, I guess you could say I was curious.
Performing with you, singing with you, dancing with you, has been some of my greatest happiness. It is without a doubt that we have had our adventures, clearing my name, my fake death, then my comeback. I never wanted to leave then, it was beyond my control. Though it was due to Raoul's tomfoolery that I am who I am, the mix of potions were weak and limited and that was why I shrunk back. How I still retained my mental faculties is uncertain, but I'm happy that you found me. Over a month has passed, and life as usual is anything but. We are friends are we not? So without further adieu I'll get to the point.
I thought about what you said, and I've taken it into consideration. To be honest, I am confused as well. You see Miss Lucille, I do not think it's right to be shown such kindness and affection and expect not to feel anything. I feel so greatly for you, and even if you tell me to leave I cannot not do so. I might sound selfish, but I'm aware of everything now, I'm aware of the fact that you might feel the same way for me as I do for you. So I cannot stop, and I will not leave you, not as though I have much of a choice. You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you.
Therefore I will be back as soon as possible, but until then, I will think of your sweet lips and warm arms until I can return to them.
With love, Francoeur
Closing the letter, she closed her eyes to hold back her feelings. Words flashed in her head, as though he were right before her speaking. Colorful words, painting a picture, painting a story in her mind. When feeling different didn't mean you were strange, to be no matter where you are? Was that love? Could she honestly say that? She had no idea. Her bubble of silence was broken by the sniffle over her shoulder. Wiping away her tears, Carlotta hugged her niece. "Darling I approve, I wholeheartedly approve"
Folding the letter, she placed it under her pillow to read again later. Francoeur was maturing by the day, and it was something she wasn't prepared for. What would people say? How would they be treated? She didn't know what to do. "This is not what you think, we aren't together"
"Darling, who do you think you're fooling? He adores you, and like I said, it took him a few days to mature a bit"
"It is more complicated then you think. I have no idea how old he is, or how he takes his coffee, or...I... I just don't know. To be honest, there is so much I don't know about him."
"Sweety, what is the matter? You two look so happy when you're together. Is there something you want to tell me?"
Closing the curtains, she turned on a nearby candle, gazing at the flickering light. "He is like this light, something that is so essential to life, and I need this to see in the dark. However, can a creature born in darkness live in the light?"
Blowing out the candle, she turned, qqopened the curtains once more, sighing in frustration. "I ask myself such questions in the hopes that it wouldn't seem so strange. I'm not sure how to say this, or whether or not you would think it's right"
Wrapping a shawl around her shoulders, Carlotta softened her voice, and made her sit. "I had no idea that you were feeling this way. Please, won't you tell me what is the matter?"
There was so much to tell, and she wasn't sure where to start. Her face reddened at the thought of it, and yet was there really anything to be ashamed of? Giving her aunt a side glance, she confessed."Me and Francoeur kissed"
Carlotta wasn't that surprised."Well everyone saw that during the show"
"No, that wasn't the kiss I was talking about. Before the onstage kiss, I... We kissed when I was drunk after our dinner at Maxim's. I thought it was a dream, and those eyes just looked at me as though they were never going to leave my side. I didn't care if Francoeur wouldn't understand, and I stole it, I stole his first kiss. He was sweet like the first rain of spring, and innocent like a child before the bloom of youth. The kiss you saw, which was the onstage kiss was the first time I knew what kindness tasted like. Then, there was last night. I knew I shouldn't have done that, but during the span of our acquaintance, I felt myself drawn to him in such an unfamiliar way and yet so easily, that I don't trust myself"
"Anything else?"
"He loves me, he told me so"
"Even I could have told you that dear"
"But I told him I wasn't sure if I could feel the same"
"Why would you say that?"
"I had never felt this way before, and I'm afraid that I cannot feel the way he needs me to feel"
"I think you have it all wrong dear, you are just going to let time show you the way."
"What if I cannot respond to his feelings? It will ruin everything"
"What I think you should do is wait until he gets home, and do what feels right. I like him, he treats you right. And please make up before tonight's show, wouldn't want to disappoint your fans"
"Alright"
With a light rap at the door, Charles answered and saw Francoeur. The two needed no words to know why he was there, and Charles welcomed Francoeur in with ease, and lead him to the professor. Though the professor was in the middle of an experiment, he stopped and welcomed Francoeur since he was currently getting no where in his three week experiment."You're here early, I didn't expect you so soon, though I suppose you are because you have news?"
Taking pen and paper, he illustrated the events from the night before, from the kiss to his first tears. The professor was surprised, though he held back his excitement and offered kind words instead. "Francoeur, your a little over a month old now, and well you're more mature. What makes you different then an animal is that you have self awareness, and you can choose what you want to do. Yet, you choose to obey Lucille and it's because you obey her that makes her worried about you so. Though I suppose you made all these changes because you want to live with her. However, she'll have to know someday about your circumstances"
Handing Francoeur a cup of wine, he continued "On a different matter, you said you were bleeding and crying? Well it seems you were expelling the left over blood and since it stopped I believe it's all out. About the crying, well it's part of your self awareness, and it just means you have a sense of humanity in you.I think it's great that your discovering all those wonderful things, and have the capability to feel various emotions, but I agree with Lucille and she's right, you are free to live the way you want to. Now, you'll have to eat more often and eat heavier meals and drink plenty of fluids to keep up with your bodies demand for energy. Still, I'm a bit concerned about your emotional responses, that is to say, will you be able to handle all these new emotions?"
Drawing Lucille another picture of Lucille, Francoeur hugged it. The professor chuckled at the adorability of his big friend. "It's all for her huh? Well that's admirable. If you could, I'd like to take a few tests to check how your health is going. Is that fine?"
Shaking his head yes, he pointed back to his drawing. "I know, it's all for her"
Lucille arranged the bouquets as though they would look less lively without her touch. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine him right behind her, touching the blooms and delighting in their scent. It would inspire a lyric or two before he'd put his pen down and sip on some wine. If she tried to spy on his work then he would hide it away and distract her with a new melody, or a cute little dance. In her minds eye, he was so quiet and calm, never the kind to cause any trouble, but then she ruined it with a kiss.
Pain made her open her eyes, and she winced as blood trickled down her finger. She had been careless and cut herself on a thorn. Throwing away the dead roses brought a sort of empty satisfaction that only lasted for a moment.
The staff avoided her all afternoon, and it was perhaps for the best. She looked a bit listless, and hummed a lonely melody. The clock chimed five o'clock, and the staff busied themselves while she made her way upstairs. The stairs creaked with every step, a welcoming sound that reminded her of what was normal. It had been a curious thought that had bothered her all day, of what was right or what was normal.
In her room she retrieved her new dress and went back downstairs to her dressing room. The time was getting closer and he still wasn't there. He never missed a show, and she never had a reason to believe he would. Her new dress was a pain to put on without her aunts help, and it was looser then she remembered.
His new suit draped over the loveseat like an empty shell, sending a small wave of pain. She tried to ignore it as she shuffled through sheet music, arranging a group of songs she could sing alone, and planned to hand them to the band. Opening the door, sheets dropped to the floor, a light gasp escaping her throat. "Francoeur"
She was between a laugh and a cry, and as though she couldn't decide, she did what felt natural. One caressed cheek, two eyes that looked down at her, three seconds before brushed lips. With two hands on his scarf, she pulled him in for a kiss. Even without all the effects of champagne or wine, she felt little and bubbly. She was between happiness and surprise, and her lips tingled as they parted.
Now if any onlookers were to see them, you'd think them as lovers, but they knew, they were anything but that. What a coquette she was, and how she made it hard to remain calm. She lingered, looking up into his eyes. She leaned into his cool hand, and his soft clicks and purring tickled her ears. He looked undamaged, unchanged, but there was an air about him that felt different. She let him go as she realized what she had done. "I'm sorry, I...I.."
Pressing a finger to her lip, he smiled. His hat fall as he took her into his arms, and hummed a lullaby. With an unknown gentleness, she hugged him back and wept. His vision in scarlet cried like a child that had lost its parent. It was then that he knew he made a big mistake.
He had hurt her, and there was not much he could say to fix it. Even if he could tell her sorry, it would never be enough. Affection wasn't something that always came naturally, but with Francoeur it was almost a second language. His eyes never left her sight as he carried her to the loveseat. He stroked her hair as he eased her down, and he grew cold as they parted from each others arms. Her eyes softened as he kneeled beside like a prince in a story book.
Kneeling right beside her, she reached out to him. He purred as he leaned into her hand, and he watched as her eyes softened. He purred as she caressed his face, her sigh like a painful slap. "Where did you go? I was so worried"
Handing her the drawings he made of her, and a few notes from the professor, she felt somewhat relieved. "I see, but that is no excuse. If you want to go out during the day and do things and see people that is fine, but like everyone else you are expected to be here on time an hour before opening"
Time was still a concept that needed used to. Why did humans have the excessive need to live by numbers? But then again, his life was like a living number. Didn't she get his letter? Way was she still unhappy? He had hoped a few hours would make her forgive him, but it didn't.
Laying there, she wondered when was the last time she relaxed and tried to delight in the quiet. Francoeur had quite a nerve she thought, to do everything and nothing to stir her feelings without even trying.
In her brief history with men, there are those who noticed her, the ones she had no time to notice, her friends, and Francoeur. No one had been so close to the vulnerable places like he had been, and it was frightening. You see if she imagined it, she is free bird, rare bird, perhaps any sort of bird would do to describe her except trapped bird or caged bird. She didn't like the idea of being anyone's songbird, or to be stuck in the dark. A soft trill broke her delusion, leaving her to look for something to say as his glowing eyes hardly blinked as he waited for her next response.
Why was she so quiet? How was it that women could talk so much on some days, but then so quiet when it was most important?
While he was worrying. She just blinked back at him, stuck in her little world. If she could have looked into his thoughts, to see the world like he did would she be frightened? There was no way he could answer since such abilities don't exist. Though, as he recalled, people cared for the little things, and that thought was comforting.
Seeing the mess she had made, he proceeded to pick the sheets of music up one by one, placing them near the piano. It saddened him a bit when he noticed to notice they were all solo versions of his music. She really did think he was leaving, otherwise there would have been no plans on changing a thing.
He wanted to scream, to be able to tell her from top of lungs how sorry he was. He tried and tried again to say Lucille without singing, but the sounds just wouldn't come out. Other then singing, he was no better then a mute. He couldn't scream, he couldn't yell, not even talk. He didn't mind if he couldn't reply to Raoul's jokes, or if he couldn't tell Emile that his favorite Méliès film was Le Voyage Dans la Lune, but not being able to tell her that he loved was what really bothered him.
Trying to ignore his hurt feelings, he took his new suit and changed behind the screen. Gloves to cover what were not soft hands, a suit to hide what was not flesh, a mask to hide the blue tint of his outer shell, and to top it off a hat to cover where no hair would ever grow. He looked as human as he possibly could, but was it enough?
The before and after look of Francoeur didn't feel as striking as she thought. He was overall, a very appealing person. His presence around her had became familiar like the air she breathed, and with that thought she smiled again. Why did he have such power over her without even trying?
Grabbing his guitar, he sat on a nearby chair. He needed to distance himself a little, he needed to focus on other to her, she made a face when she was curious about something. And her eyes examined him as though he had food on his face. Even though he needed to focus on the task at hand, it was like an invisible force made him stare back at Lucille. He smiled at the sight of her cheeks which puffed out in a pout, and felt nervous over the sight of her fleshly pink lips.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his guitar and she saw him looking back her. Her heart jumped at his smile, and she felt a sight panic at thought of them being alone.
From where he sat he could hear her irregular breathing and heartbeat, hopefully not due to her health. Her dress was deliciously dangerous, filling his senses with delight. Every hand gesture, every blink, and every smile were like compliments and he received them happily. He could barely stand the distance, and with a single stride he was before her again.
"Are you not going to practice?"
Shaking his head no, he leaned in closer to listen to her heart. From where she was, she could count the feckless under his eyes. The brilliance his skin had a reflective quality to it, sort of like the surface of a pearl. When had he become a man to her she thought? He was an overgrown insect with human like tendencies and she a cabaret singer. Who would understand?
Francoeur looked for the source of her erratically beating heart. It was in her chest somewhere, as spirited as a rabbits heart. She looked at him quizzically, wondering what he was doing. Her eyes shining like twinkling stars glistened as she smiled at him. "Can I help you?"
Backing away, he knelt down beside her and wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head on her stomach. He felt a leap in his chest, like a cuckoo in a clock. Her existence was a tease, and it really tested his sanctity.
They were so good to each other, and that was probably their downfall she thought. He felt so cold to the touch, and yet she didn't want to let him go. Was a day apart really too much for them to handle? Perhaps his thought processes were different, like how he described in the letter. "Francoeur, you're a good boy"
He purred so happily like a loyal cat to it's owner, and it was pleasing.
She hadn't have given much thought to their awkward position, but from the open door the band chuckled as they passed by. A blush rose to her cheeks at the realization of how intimate and cosy they looked. Pulling out of his grip, she closed the door, her heart racing with a treacherousness she didn't recognize. "Francoeur, I know that you are really affectionate, but for a lady this is really embarrassing. Right know we should get ready and next time I really... We really should be more careful."
She looked down at her feet in embarrassment, and the blush in her cheeks turned that pretty color again, and he thought it suited her so well. He could hardly think straight as he picked her up and held her in his arms as though she would disappear. She was too pretty for her own good he thought. The way her hair fell down her back in waves, and the scent of her lavender soap, her tiny wrists connected to her hands. How was it that such a song bird of a girl didn't break in his grasp?
His train of thought was interrupted by the small giggle from his Lucille. "Why do you look at me like that? Sometimes it seems as though you want to tell me something, but then you don't say it. What is it?"
In his smooth sing song way, it sounded like a ticklish whisper. "Embrasse moi" he sang in her ear
She was taken aback by the directness of it, a tiny gasp escaped her throat. He flinched at her reaction, a little sorry he even asked. A blush deepened in her cheeks, and although a little hesitant, she gave him a peck on the cheek. His freckled love really knew how to warm his heart, but he felt more then that, he felt panged. Their time together together would someday be nothing but a distant memory, and he wasn't sure when would the right time to tell her would come. She would surely hate him if she knew, and it really made it bitter sweet.
A small groan escaped his throat, and instantly the flicker of worry flashed in her eyes. "What is the matter?"
Pointing to where his metaphorical heart should be, he groaned again in agony.
"Does it hurt, does your heart hurt?"
Shaking head yes, he held her tightly near him afraid to let go. Looking into his eyes, she could see the fear that lied in wait. Caressing his cheek, a blush arose, his purring ticklish against her ears. With a softened voice, she asked."Does it hurt when I'm near you?"
Francoeur wasn't sure how to answer, but he held her tighter. When his grip on her a started to hurt, another part of her started to worry. "Francoeur, you have to let me go, you're holding me too tightly"
He loosened his grip, but he didn't let go. He could sense it, the change in his mood, and it was exciting. His newfound emotions wanted to keep her hidden, to control her, but she was a free bird. Was it the drops? Or was his confidence growing? Who knows, but it made him happy nonetheless to have her there. Wrapping all his arms back around her, his sad feelings changed to a false confidence as a smirk spread across his face. He meant business, and Lucille was reassured that he had changed. "Francoeur?"
Snapping his fingers, he sang with a bit of flavor.
"A little bird said I shouldn't listen
She had misty eyes and lips that glisten
I plea for a kind word everyday
And ask for little love to come my way"
With pretty words, he mesmerized her, like a moth to a flame. Honesty had always been a cloak he wore, and though she wanted to stay angry, it was hard when he knew what she wanted. "I know we shouldn't do this, it's too soon, way too soon to get serious"
Shaking his head no, he unwrapped a piece of candy, and placed it in her mouth. Chocolate it was, terribly sweet as the melted goodness dripped down her throat. He wiped away the bit that dripped on her lips, and continued to sing.
"If sweet words should feel so bitter
Then let me listen to all your twitter
Then let me place kindness upon your tongue
So that persuasion may take it's place and leave you wanting for none"
He approached her again, a kiss was only a few moments away, the temptation was great, but she covered his mouth since there were still a few things she wanted to know."No Francoeur! You have to wait and listen to what I'm about to say. You left without a word this morning, and I was afraid you left because you were angry with me. Do you understand that you did a hurtful thing? Even if it was unintentional, I thought you had left."
Letting her to, he took something out from his pocket, a single gold locket and placed it in her hands. "What is this? Where did you get this from? Did you buy it?"
Shaking his head yes, he closed her hand over the locket, and watched the wave of emotions that passed over her face. A heart shaped locket in the palm of her hand, no pictures inside. The thought of getting their picture taken was pleasant, but it didn't answer the question. "Do you think gifts will buy my affection? That is not how things work and you cannot buy someone's affection. It is wonderful, but you do not have to do this"
Placing it on her desk, he reached for her hand but she pulled away, looking a bit upset. Lucille wasn't the kind to throw a tantrum, and her irregular heartbeat steadied, but each time he was near it danced, and he knew what it was. Fear lingered in her eyes, but anger as well lied in wait. "I don't know what to do, what do you want?"
Singing softly in her ear, she became tense at his touch, though not uncomfortable. "You may be angry now, but soon you'll sing my rhapsody
Our tiny, secret melody
At the drop of a glove you ignite the light of amnesty
My rare bird made of fire
Show me what it means to be free
Guide my dire life in a breeze
with a tiny shove I'll drop to my knees
A soft breeze that spills from your song
From what I've heard is never wrong
Please tell me carefully
How much you disagree my lady
And all the things we may do
At least know I don't always have a clue
Is everything I knew always wrong?
Tell me do you like my song?
Every word of kindness is not lie I hope
Or I will die before the end of this song
Or I will die before the end of this song!
But if it's true, that you love me too
I'll leave you now and acquiesce to cope ooh
But help me guess how much you like by the end of this song
Help me guess how much you like by the end of this song!
A little bird said I shouldn't listen
She had misty eyes and lips that glisten
I plea for a kind word everyday
And ask for little love to come my way
If sweet words should feel so bitter
Then let me place kindness upon your tongue
So that persuasion may take it's place and leave you wanting for none
And leave you wanting for none!
And leave you wanting for none
And leave you wanting for none!
And leave you wanting for none"
His eyes reflected a silent confidence, and no matter how much she looked for the naive flea she was so familiar with, he was disappearing. Whoever he was now was frightingly attracting her with velvet words and a eager spirit. She backed up into her piano, making it cry an awful sound. Their hearts beat like crescendo, and she was backed into a corner with no where to go. Hugging her body, her voice came out shaky."I...I am not sure what it is... What it is that you want from me. I know you seek to please, and that makes me happy, but what is it that you want in return? What... What do you need?"
"I want Lucille"
One heartbeat, two heartbeat,too many crazy heart sounds in her chest. Everything was getting dark, her body no longer responded. He caught her before she touched the ground, her limp body so light and vulnerable. He placed her on the loveseat and waited. He wanted to kiss her again and again until he couldn't breath, but it would be wrong.
Placing a hand over hers, he watched her rest, hoping she would soon wake. What had he done? What was coming over him? To be so possessive over her, to be afraid she wouldn't like him. His uncertain feelings and his intense interest in her fueled his impatience.
Her eyes blinked open to see the towering figure sitting beside her. Her heart ached at his gentle eagerness, and she felt the need to explain. "I'm not sure my heart can take all this excitement. It is too soon to get so serious, and we are moving too fast. So if you will excuse me, I have to get dressed. Please do understand, I do not have time to play games with you"
He felt sightly hurt by her reply. Didn't she know? His feelings were always real, and he wanted her to know. His life so far was short, but everything was so new and wonderful that he didn't really care. Pressing a kiss on her hand, he sang lightly. "I don't like to play pretend"
Pressing kisses on her palms, she laughed at the ticklish feeling. "Ha... Stop it... Ha... It tickles"
Distracted, he stole another kiss, and another despite her plea."Haha... We hav-"
He interrupted her with another kiss, and her already blushing cheeks became an even deeper scarlet.
"Lucille" was what escaped his mouth between breaks for breath.
Pulling away, she looked up at him and sighed. "We have to get ready"
"Mon chérie amour"
Everything that he was couldn't have been a lie. Letting herself believe it to be true, she whispered " Mon chéri, there is no changing your mind is there?"
Wrapping all arms around her, she stopped resisting his attempts. She was melting, and she was losing herself in it. "I don't remember what else I wanted to say"
He lifted up her chin to smell her sweet breath, and she felt self consciousness melting away as their faces were drawing closer. Closing her eyes, a tear ran down her cheek. His odd bout of emotion changed again, and this time he felt nervous and afraid. He just wanted to kiss her as though it was all that mattered and now, all he wanted to do was protect her. He hesitated, looking to see if she was hurting anywhere, but if she was hurt then he would make it better.
It was heartbreaking how beautiful he was, and how much more she felt the strong possibility she couldn't disobey. Grabbing his scarf, she pulled him in for a deeper kiss. Closing his eyes, his tears began to fall as well. The warmth of his tears wet her cheek, and she cried even harder as her heart was breaking. "Francoeur you're so beautiful"
His heart felt as though it were set on fire, and it hurt in the most brilliant way. Whatever it was, as long as he was with Lucille he didn't have to be afraid.
They didn't notice the knock at the door, but suddenly she felt him freeze up. "What is the matter? Got nervous?" she teased
Coming in, Carlotta blushed at the sight of them. Thinking she interrupted an intimate moment, she was quick with her message. "You're on in twenty minutes. Alright dear?"
Pushing away from Francoeur, she retorted. "This is not what it looks like"
"Of course dear"
Closing the door, Carlotta left and fanned herself as she went out to greet the guests.
Looking back at him, she winked. "You're lucky you're cute or I would be furious"
Smiling happily, he strummed away at his guitar, feeling somewhat satisfied with himself. She could feel his eyes watching her every move, but she took it stride, and put on her on face.
"Welcome to the Rare Bird, it is so nice to see you tonight. It is so nice to see everyone, and as usual we have a brand new song"
Going to his place with the band, he picked up his guitar and began to play. Lucille closing her eyes slightly, starting to sing, her voice more classic and soft.
"The place where you came from is different
Then anywhere I will ever know
I cannot describe the feeling
Of what it means to be alone
But I found you in a dark place
And knew you were just like me
A Creature born in the darkness
With melody born again Free
How did it feel to be so different?
To feel you are all on your own?
To know that you are special?
To know that now you are home
I will never leave you
Cause now you are more then pretend
It's not the end, but the beginning
Now I know you are different
My almost lover, my friend"
Jumping out of the orchestra box, he took her hand and spun her around. Looking into her eyes, he felt that soft affection once more, like all that mattered was her. As though it were a private declaration, he began to sing.
"Beautiful, you are beautiful everyday
I cannot disobey cause there is no other way
I collapse under your love like a souffle
Because now I see more then just a friend
I cannot pretend that this song is the end
I love you my powerful light
my almost lover, my friend"
"Gold upon gold is so useless if you cannot hold me in your arms
If that special something is thrown away without regard
How can I forget you if your always in my way?
I know that we are happy but there's so much more to say
I cannot live without you, my heart will never sway
I love you my almost lover, my friend"
"You knit me sweaters when it's cold outside
If I get scared I'll run into your arms and hide
I never thought things would this hard
To always hold just a blank card
And to think of you and find the words stuck in my head
To think kindness would bring madness of a different kind
And some have no concept about our kind, and how our love is truly blind
But roses without thorns cannot hurt me
Danger without trying is boring
Like a pure white flame without heat
The heat of your love cannot be contained
How do I tell you we are the same?"
"I know we may be different
And I know that were the same"
"I Creature born in the darkness
And you my special flame"
"If ever I should lie then let me run away and die
I hope you can be my lover, my friend"
Disregarding the crowd, he lifted her up and spun her around, the crowd eating up every moment. With a smile she whispered. "Francoeur, we have to wait till the show is over."
Letting her down, they waved and bowed until the curtains were drawn. Even in the low light, he could spot her blush. Lucille turned her face, and said on a lie voice. "We have to meet the guests first"
Letting her hand go, she left to attend to all formalities as the usual meet and greet. though truly Francoeur just wanted to take her away and have all her attention. She looked alive as she stood within a crowd while he waited at table five, drinking his favorite wine.
Lucille's dressing room was filled with bouquets, many from admirers and a few with no name. With the amount of roses she received, she wondered if she would someday drown in them. "Should we open a perfume shop? I swear what am I going to do with all these roses?"
"There was more, but Francoeur took them to his office. Not sure what he does with them, but he somehow gets rid of them. Anyway, you two sure looked darling out there. It's a pity that your friend wasn't here tonight. But like I was saying, you two were absolutely adorable."
"Thank you"
"And look at you, growing so pretty by the day. It's so hard to believe you're growing up. And to think, I never would have imagined that you and Francoeur would-"
"Would what?"
"You know, give it a chance"
She wasn't sure if it was out of the goodness of her heart or if it was just something she wanted to do, but it felt necessary. "Nothing in this world is certain, but I want... I want to do what makes him happy, and what makes me happy."
With a kiss to the cheek, her aunt was half way out the door. "Listen sweetie, I have a few phone calls to make, but we'll talk tomorrow"
"Alright"
"Should I let him in dear?"
"Yes"
Opening the door, Carlotta smiled and whispered to Francoeur. "Be good to her"
Carlotta was always a bit of a mystery to Francoeur, a boisterous bubbly woman that was hard to dislike. With a small nod he waited till she was out of sight and closed the door. He took a seat at the piano, tapped his fingers on the keys, not sure what to do. He stopped at the sight of her loosened hair with its invisible scent like a red flag before a bull.
Moving away from the piano, he sat at the loveseat.
Removing her wings, she took his hat much to his surprise, and took off his shoes and gloves. "You must feel cramped from having to wear those gloves to cover your talented hands and those shoes that cover your rhythmic feet. Tell me, does that feel better?"
He wondered why she was humbling herself and getting down on her knees. He tried to help her up, but she put up her hand and stopped him. "I want to show you how sincere I am. Do you understand?"
Shaking his head yes, he handed her a pillow to cushion her knees. "I have been acting so fickle, thinking I could justify my actions as kindness. And I just assumed you wouldn't understand, but I can see that you look restless lately. You must think that I'm making fun of you, or that your just a obedient child. I never thought of you as anything less then a friend, perhaps as a brother for a while but never as my servant. You're getting older aren't you?"
Shaking his head yes, he looked away. "That explains a lot."
She reached out for his hand, but he moved away, afraid he did something wrong. "It's alright, you don't have to be afraid. Tell me, did you have fun tonight?"
He shook his head yes.
"Me too. It was fun like always. We will always have fun together, that's something I can promise. You have made things so much brighter, and I sometimes wonder if I can keep up with you. You're amazing, and I have never met anyone like you, that is why I'm willing to try, to date so to speak. But I must warn you that somethings won't change. When we are working, it will be as respectable as possible. Then when we are not working, things will go on as usual, but with the acknowledgment that we are more romantic. Is that understood?"
Shaking his head yes, he's patted her head and smiled. In flea years he was already older then her, and if he was a man, he would have spoiled her rotten. She blushed lightly at his gesture, and hoped she had even more good news.
He seemed to be taking it well, but what was surprising was that his hand felt warm. Looking at the pillow beneath her knees, she remembered the letter. "This morning I received your letter, and I thought it was sweet. I imagined that you were talking to me through your words and I felt so moved. I would... I would like it very much if you wrote me more letters. Your words, your honest eloquence, I could really get used to that. I want to get to know you, to understand the way your mind works. Could you do that for me?"
He felt so happy that she was finally beginning to understand. He was ready to steal a kiss when she blocked it. She giggled, though her blush was deeper. "And we might need to talk about kissing. It isn't all about physical affection you know. To be in a relationship means to share, and it also means making a emotional connection. You already seem to know how to please me, but what is it that I do that is so appealing? That is what I want to find out. You do not have to answer me now, but I would like to go to bed."
Standing up, she noticed how his eyes followed her figure about the room, as though he were hypnotized. "I have the feeling that you enjoy the color red too much. I do not like pushy men Francoeur, but I don't think you're like that at all, are you?"
Purring happily, he took her hand and kissed it."I suppose you're happy, well you should be since... Since this is the closest I've been to anyone. "
Shaking his head yes, he scooped her up again, set her on his lap and started to braid her hair. He smelled good, like maple wood, though his body hard to the touch. She wanted to stop him, but then thought that curls in the morning wouldn't hurt. "You really are a curious flea, but I like you, and I like the way you make me feel."
Taking one of his hands, she kissed it."I like you Francoeur"
"Can I keep you?"
Kissing his hand again, she held it as though he would let go. "Only if I can I keep you too"
Pressing a kiss on her lips, he whispered "It would make me happy"
Snuggling on the couch, she sighed "I'm happy"
When Carlotta came back to check on the two, she found them on the couch fast asleep. He had his arms curled around her and she was asleep on his arms. Taking a blanket from the closet, she covered them up. "Sweet dreams you two"