My first day at work wasn't nearly as stressful and confusing as I thought it would be. My boss, Mr. Nelson, was a racist, sexist, homophobic old white dude ingrained with an opposition to universal health care. He told me that all I really had to do was take calls and make sure he made it to all of his appointments, even the ones that didn't have to with the law firm. He had a dental appointment next Tuesday that I was supposed to accompany him to.

He told me that files pertaining to women went in pink files, male client's files went in the blue folders, and if they were something else to put them in the red folders. Everything was in alphabetic order, by month, by year. Once the cases had been settled, I would go back through and mark them with a green highlighter.

All I did that first day after my "orientation" was filing old closed cases into these huge filing cabinets that were spray painted brown, lining the back of Mr. Nelson's office. By the time Mr. Nelson sent me home at five, my feet felt like they could fall off at any moment. It had definitely been a mistake to wear heels and a tight pencil skirt on my first day.

When I walked outside, it was pouring rain. It rained all the time, more than Alaska. I had forgotten that. Also, I had left my umbrella inside. Mom and Disgusting Dan were off doing god knows what, probably providing the city of Forks with car insurance, as one does. Mr. Nelson had already gone home to his third wife, who was apparently much younger than him according to my mother, and there was no way that I was going to try to call him to come back. Instead, I decided standing on the covered porch of the building was my best bet.

As I stood there, considering getting soaked to the bone and wondering what to do, a car pulled up. I recognized it immediately, but only because I had been there when her dad gave it to her. A 2007 light blue Prius, just like she wanted. God knows why.

She rolled down the window but didn't say anything at first. She was sizing me up, I could tell. I spoke first.

"Hey," I said casually, "thanks for the phone calls. I really appreciate that my best friend reached out to me."

Hannah Hatcher shook her dark hair away from her face and glared up at me with seething dark brown eyes. "Get in, you moron," she snapped. "I had to hear from fucking Rebecca Donovan that you were back in town, the dumb bitch."

I got in, but I was angry about it. Her interior smelled the same (lemons), and her clothes looked the same (fashionable), but she was different. Her eyes scanned me coldly as she took my in my professional outfit and my wild hair. Curly hair, we both still had that in common. I don't know what else.

Hannah Hatcher had been my best friend the moment I met her the first day of school. We didn't have some cute story or anything, she didn't protect me from bullies and I didn't steal her sandwich at lunch. We just fell towards each other, and we had supported each other ever since.

Hannah was everything I wasn't. Carmel skin, warm brown eyes, and she was always laughing. I stayed at her house every chance I could, and she helped me. Hannah had been everything to me, besides Adam.

I regretted telling her about The Thing, the defining factor of my short life. She had tried to be there for me the best way she knew how, but in the end, she distanced herself from me completely. I didn't tell her, or Rebecca Donovan, when I left, and I sure as hell didn't tell them when I came back.

"I didn't think you would want to hear from me," I said sulkily, staring at the familiar road. Hannah still knew the way to my house and as much as I didn't want her to remember, it felt comfortable.

"Well you aren't still," She trailed off, lifting a hand off the steering wheel to gesture vaguely at my slouching form in the passenger seat. I crossed and uncrossed my arms over my chest as I debated what to tell her.

"I've been sober for almost a year, if that's what you're asking," I supplied. Hannah tensed up.

Forks, Washington, didn't have kids who popped pills. If they did, it was recreational. I had been an alcoholic and addicted to various opiates when I left. Now, I was working at a law office after a brief stint in rehab, 12 steps, and one GED later.

My addictions were one of the reasons I left, and Hannah had sealed the coffin on that one.

"Well how was Alaska?" She asked, forcing her voice into another octave to put on the appearance of happy. I rolled my eyes, but let out a laugh. There was once a time when we were so close that I lived at her house. She had been the only reprieve I had ever known.

Now, we were fragile. I felt like I was getting to know her again, but that she was much less trustworthy.

"It was cold. I liked it," I told her, opening up to her as much as she was opening up to me.

"Well I decided not to go to college, as you can tell," she said, sounding proud but I could see past it. Hannah had never been very smart, but she more than made up with it in extracurriculars.

"To each their own," I said with a shrug. She laughed even though it wasn't funny and I laughed too because I thought maybe it would fix something that felt broken and nostalgic when I looked at her.

She pulled over, and I grabbed the Oh Shit Handle. Hannah had always been a terrible driver; she failed her driving exam twice.

"I just want to get this out in the air because I've missed you like crazy and I was so angry with you for so long over something that you had no control over. A super shitty thing happened to you and I should have been there for you. I shouldn't have let you spiral out, and I'm sorry" Hannah said, staring out the windshield with a tight grip on the steering wheel as the words rushed out of her. She sighed and sat back in her cloth seat like she had deflated. "It was a pretty fucking awful day when I found out you left. I know that you felt like I didn't care, but I did. I didn't know when you were coming back. I hated you for it, but now that you're here I just want things to go back the way they were."

I nodded and listened to what she said. I appreciated her apology. "I'll do my best, Han," I promised, "but I'm not the same person I was. You can't ask me to be her."

Hannah finally looked at me and I was stunned by the tears in her eyes. "Deal," she said.

We pulled back onto the road and listened to a song by Hilary Duff. Hannah sang the chorus and I pretended I didn't see her swipe at her eyes as she drove me home.

My mom's house had a Ford Bronco parked out front, and Hannah made a small noise when we saw it after rounding the corner. It was Seth's car; I was sure of it. I had forgotten to tell him that I would have to raincheck, and I guess he had decided to come to my house to find out where I was.

"That's Seth Clearwater's car," Hannah told me, reaffirming the fact. I looked at her in confusion. She shrugged. "A lot happened while you were gone."

Seth bounded out of the house, his eyes scanning me as I walked to stand next to Hannah. He was wearing cutoff denim shorts and no shirt. NO SHIRT. My eyes were glued to his body, and his muscles rippled, actually rippled, every time he moved.

Hannah found her voice first. "Hey, Seth," she said nonchalantly. Seth gave her a brief smile.

"Are you ready to go, Gracie?" He asked like we had an established plan. Hannah looked at me expectantly, like I was about to explain whatever the fuck was going on with this shirtless boy standing in front of my house waiting for me to go on a motherfucking date with him.

"Holy shit," I said. "Why are you at my house?"

Hannah elbowed me in the side. "Gracie Seeders, stop being a dumb bitch," she hissed out of the corner of her glossy lips.

"Well I went to the law office your mom said you worked at but you weren't there and then I came here and I didn't know where you were. The door was open so I went in," Seth said, and then trailed off. "Then you pulled up. I'm glad you're okay."

"Um," Hannah stuttered after a tense moment where nobody moved or made any kind of noise, "I guess I'll see you guys later."

"You're not going to try to hug me or anything are you?" I teased, begging her with my eyes not to leave me alone. I didn't know how to act around Seth.

She gave me a hard stare and promised to call me later before getting back in her Prius and driving away silently. I appreciated her eco-friendly side, but right now I hated her for leaving me alone with a shirtless stalker boy that showed up at my house based on a vague promise of dinner.

Yesterday, after I had gone shopping with Bella and Alice, they had told me a little about Seth Clearwater. He wasn't always that intense, like the night I had met him at the bonfire. Alice said he was a nice guy, but that he smelled a little like wet dog so I should probably watch out for that. Bella and I laughed as I stuffed my face with food court Sbarro and they clutched tightly to their water cups.

Seth also had never been really interested in other girls before me. I told them about how he showed up places I happened to be and they looked at each other mysteriously. I figured the reason Alice and Bella look like models is because they didn't eat and they only drank water. Maybe the reason Seth was interested in me instead of them was because he hadn't seen us side by side in these fluorescent mall lights where they seemed to be slightly glittering.

Presently, Seth was staring at me expectantly. I knew my mom and Disgusting Dan weren't home, so I couldn't use them as an excuse. There was really only one thing I could do.

"I have to change," I told him, "and then we can go."

Seth's face split open with a blinding grin and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He made to follow me into the house and I put a hand up to stop him. "Just wait in the car, okay? It's been a long day; I just want a second."

Seth nodded sympathetically and climbed into the Ford Bronco.

Twenty minutes later we were on our way.

Seth was talking about this Italian restaurant we were going to in Port Angeles, and I just felt like being difficult.

"I don't like Italian food," I said.

Seth balked. "What? Like pizza?"

I shrugged, even though I did like pizza. I pulled my grey jacket tighter around me as a feeling of awkwardness closed in on me. Now I felt bad that I shut down his idea, but it was too late.

"Well, I guess we'll go somewhere else," Seth said, sounding sour.

We stopped at a quaint diner outside of Port Angeles. Seth put his huge, warm hand on the small of my back and guided me in. I tried not to flinch despite all of my instincts telling me to run. Screaming.

We ordered and the waitress brought our food out immediately. And continued to bring out food as Seth devoured it. He had put on a shirt while I had been changing into less professional clothing and doing breathing exercises to hinder my oncoming panic attack. It was an old band t-shirt with a terribly corning wolf howling at the moon. In red lettering on the moon, the band name read "Vampires Are Bad," a name that was nothing if not original.

I picked at my remaining fries as I watched in sick fascination as Seth gorged on his third burger.

"Are you done?" Seth asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. I had blinked and he finished the burger. He took a slurp from the giant soda the waitress had set before him.

I glanced at my fries in my greasy basket as I considered the question. Was I done? Was I just going to accept that this man in front of me was blindly interested in me after he nearly killed me the first time I met him? Was I just going to believe that Bella could drink water and turn into a supermodel? That Alice could seemingly read my mind and appeared to know exactly what I was going to say right before I said it.

I decided to start off easy.

"Why does Bella Swan look like a supermodel?" I asked.

Seth raised his eyebrows and glanced down at his empty plate. When he looked back up again at me, he was grinning.

"You noticed that, huh?" Seth asked genially, amusement coloring his voiced as I crossed my arms and leaned back into the cracked red booth that hadn't been properly cleaned since Reagan was in office. "The glow-up is real, right? They tell me their secret is meditation. Beautiful and pure on the inside, beautiful on the outside."

"Bullshit," I said. Seth barked out a laugh.

"Alright," he said, his eyes dancing with mirth, "you caught me. She's a vampire now."

I rolled my eyes again and Seth smiled widely at me, bending his head to catch my eye.

"And I'm a witch," I said.

"And I'm a werewolf," he said, and laughed again.

"Well then why did you ask me out?" I tried again, hoping he would give me at least one straight answer.

"My werewolf senses told me to," Seth said, wriggling his fingers in front of his face as he made a spooky sound.

"Oh really?" I said, allowing a smile to cross my face despite myself. I couldn't help it; his grins were contagious. They were so bright and full of hope and innocence. "Well, if your werewolf senses were telling you to ask me out, then why did I say yes?"

Seth paused and put on a show of thinking it over, taking a huge gulp from his cup before splitting his face into another huge smile.

"You think I'm sexy. And mysterious. And you think I'm funny," he finally said. I laughed, caught off guard by his answer.

He was so surprising. When I first met him, I thought he was going to kill me. And then I thought he was a pervert, and then I thought he was a stalker. But now… I don't know.

"Tell me something about you," he said but it sounded like he was begging. I tried vainly to keep up with his changing moods.

I stared at him, hard. I tried to find that little catch in his eye, one last time. I was giving him one more chance to let me know the he Knew, so I wouldn't get too invested. Luckily, it wasn't there.

"I lived in Alaska," I told him blandly, dipping a fry in some ketchup and popping it into my mouth.

Seth rolled his eyes. "I already know that," he told me, sounding frustrated.

"Okay," I felt myself saying without consciously thinking it through, "I have a brother. His name is Adam. He's my best friend. I got my GED up there with him. He's studying aerospace engineering, but he really wants to do more research on the Northern Lights. They only show up certain times of the year and they light up the whole sky. They come in colors I had never even seen before. Adam and I went and slept outside once, to watch them, but I couldn't look away. They dance like they're telling you a story, I swear it. I miss it being in Alaska with Adam like all the time. I don't really even know what I'm doing back here."

I stopped because I could feel tears threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. Seth's usually happy face had a shocked look in its place with his mouth hanging open like he was about to say something and his eyes wide. I reached up and brushed my knuckles to catch any tears, but I hadn't cried in a long time. Nothing came out of my eyes anymore. I did genuinely feel bad for making Seth uncomfortable, and I opened my mouth to apologize.

"Don't apologize," Seth said in a rush, reaching out and covering my hand with his own. I withdrew after a moment, but I didn't hate the gesture.

"Do you want to go?" he asked. I nodded and smiled shyly.

On the way out, I surprised myself and let him drape a heavy arm over my shoulders as we walked back to his Ford Bronco.

Once he reversed and got back on the road stretching between Port Angeles and Forks, I found my voice again.

"I don't know where that came from," I told him, and I was being honest.

"It sounded sincere," Seth said. "When was the last time you talked to your brother?"

"Yesterday," I said, but he just nodded.

"That's tough," he agreed. I looked at him in confusion, which he must have caught out of the corner of his eye. "Missing a family member, I mean. My dad died when I was fifteen, and it's like a piece of me died with him. A piece of me definitely died with him."

"I'm sorry," I said reflexively.

"It was a long time ago," Seth said, running a hand over his short hair, "nothing to be sorry about."

I nodded in full agreement. Seth felt such an innate, raw emotion about everything. If he thought something was funny he laughed, if he felt happy he smiled, if he felt sad he told you about it. I had never been able to do that.

After a brief moment of pensive silence, Seth launched into a long monologue about his day. He talked about what he had done with his friends at work, what he was planning on doing tomorrow, that one thing Jacob Black had said that was really funny, that fight that Paul and Sam had over this pickup truck with a faulty fuel pump.

I sat quietly and listened as he talked. I learned that he did in fact work in an auto shop, that he loved his mom, his sister, and his friends most of all. He even loved Charlie Swan (though he was definitely making the moves on his mom, as he so eloquently put it). His life seemed very black and white; no drama, no emotional baggage. He was happy, he liked his life, he was young, and he was healthy. He loved to laugh and smile and would glance over at me in the passenger seat every so often to make sure that I was laughing along or if I even seemed interested.

Sometimes he would ask me questions like this:

"Do you like your new job?"

And I would say:

"The old man that I work for has a lot of rules."

Then he would laugh and continue on.

His laugh sounded like summer, on those really hot days where a breeze isn't even cool. When the wind blows warm air at you from the ground up, washing over you like you haven't already given in to the heat, like it's begging to give you more warmth.

I found myself studying his dark profile as he spoke. His face was faintly illuminated by the light blue glow of the buttons on the dashboard and the occasional passing headlight. He had a slight bump in his nose where it looked like it was broken and not properly set before it healed. He had long eyelashes and big eyebrow. His jaw line was sharp and when he smiled his cheeks pushed high up on his face, disguising his delicate cheekbones. He was so hot. Like so, so, so, hot.

In another life I wouldn't have even been able to look at him. He was brighter than the sun even when the world outside was dark.

I blinked and we were pulling up in front of my house. All of the lights were off but my mom and Disgusting Dan's cars were parked in the driveway. Seth reached behind the bench seat through the window into the covered truck of the Bronco. He grabbed my bag and my jacket and handed them to me with a big grin.

I accepted them with a small thank you. Seth crinkled his eyes up at me and his white teeth flashed in the darkness.

"Vampires are bad, huh?" I said, pointing at his shirt. Seth looked down and shrugged. "What about Bella Swan?" I teased.

"I guess she's the exception. They're actually a pretty good band. It's some of my friends from the auto shop. They're having a show on Wednesday at 7 at the only bar in Forks if you want to come. With me, I mean."

I crinkled my nose at him. "Why are you so interested in me? I know you've been with Hannah Hatcher, she all but told me. And she's really pretty. So what's your deal. Why are you so persistent?" I asked, but I wasn't serious. He wasn't being serious with me either. Bella Swan, a vampire? Yeah, right.

"You're beautiful," he said immediately, without hesitation. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life."

I froze, unable to move as I watched his body move closer to mine. My heart rate picked up and I remembered the last time I had been this close to a man who was looking at me the way Seth was looking at me. He wanted something from me, but I found myself actually wanting to give it to him. And yet…

I let him pull on a loose ringlet that had fallen out of the careful braid I had plaited this morning. Seth looked at me for permission.

"Is it okay if I—" Seth said before being interrupted by his cellphone ringing loudly from inside of his pocket.

He withdrew from me and I continued to do my best impression of a stone statue. My heart was still going a million miles a minute. Seth glanced down at the caller id and answered the call without hesitation.

"Fuck," he cursed, sounded genuinely angry for the first time since I had known him. "What do you want, Brady?"

He listened for a moment before promising his prompt attendance and ending the call. He looked at me with dark eyes and I finally found my ability to move.

I surged forward and let him wrap his arms around me as we crushed our lips together. Our teeth crashed together painfully and I grimaced but didn't stop my assault on his mouth. Seth swung my body to straddle his lap, squishing me in between him and the steering wheel. My hands were grabbing at anything to pull him closer to me while his buried themselves in my hair.

His mouth was soft and dry, and his tongue traced the inside of my cheek with a gentleness that his body didn't reflect. I felt myself getting frustrated and bit at his bottom lip, sucking hard after the initial bite. Seth growled and pressed himself tighter to me. Tighter, I thought, and tighter we pressed together. His hand found its way under my pretty blue shirt, over my hipbone, up my stomach, higher and higher and—

I ripped myself away from him and we stared at each other from opposite ends of the bench seat, heaving. I hadn't ever wanted anyone to touch me like that again. But I didn't feel violated. It felt good. I liked it. I liked Seth.

"Call me on Wednesday," I told him. "And call the house phone. I don't just go handing out my cell phone number like a crazy person. Don't show up at my house again unless I invite you, okay?"

I grabbed the handle to the door and pushed it open, falling onto the familiar cracked sidewalk of my childhood home. I straightened and headed up the drive, feeling Seth's eyes on the back of my neck. I turned back around and he was cranking down the window.

"Can't I call you tomorrow?" he asked.

I laughed a shook my head. "No. And you're making a big mistake, you know. I've got issues."

Seth laughed back. "God, Gracie," he said, and I wish I could live in the way he said my name. "You don't know from issues."

I'm ALLLLIIIVE. It's been a few years what's up?