Chapter 3. - What Was The Question Again?
Sheldon wasn't worried when he was first called up for an urgent meeting with President Siebert. He was aware that he was difficult, but he helped the University enough that he was rarely in any danger of being in trouble. He had too much confidence in his talents and his job security for that. However, when Siebert made reference to his wife being an avid theatre-enthusiast, he felt the beginnings of a very real worry begin crawling up his spine.
His contract of employment with Caltech was such that he couldn't work elsewhere. This generally alluded to other educational bodies, but it was just vague enough that if his thespian extracurriculars were discovered it could pose him some trouble.
Eventually, after circling the issue, Siebert explicitly stated that he knew Sheldon was acting professionally. He felt his heart threaten to stop. Though it turned out he needn't have worried. It seemed like Siebert was overjoyed.
"Now, don't get too anxious," Siebert placated, noting the rapid shade of puce coloring Doctor Cooper's face. "It's not something you're in trouble for. Quite the opposite in fact! This is an excellent turn of events." He finished jovially.
Sheldon recuperated enough to raise a single eyebrow in a Spock-like fashion.
"How is my foray into theatre a good thing?"
Siebert leaned back on his chair and grinned as he explained the facts of life to the socially stunted genius.
"Let me lay it out for you. This facility. The teachers, the professors, the research. It is all funded by wealthy donors. These donors have different reasons for their charity, but the fact remains that this acting work you've done is a very attractive feature for donors."
He smirked as he saw the obvious question in Sheldon's face and cut him off.
"Donors don't often have doctorates or super high IQs, so they have to judge who they will donate money to based on alternate factors. To put it simply, they wouldn't be able to understand why they should offer you funding as opposed to someone less impressive like your roommate Doctor Hofstadter. This is why those donor galas you are often forced to attend are so important. Currently, you are seen as an arrogant, antisocial individual" Sheldon flinched. "But an individual who may revolutionise the world of physics. This is why people fund your research. When they know you have other talents - more creative talents - they will be much more eager to fund you and therefore the University. You'll be seen as 'quirky' rather than anti-social, do you understand? Your disadvantages will be given more leeway. To put it in a nutshell. This will earn you and therefore the University more money, and that is why I am pleased."
Sheldon took a moment to think about that. He wasn't happy but he understood that not everybody had his understanding of physics, so improving tangentially would improve things as a whole. It seemed like the University didn't mind if he acted 'on the side' as the colloquialism goes, which was a good thing. This didn't mean he was eager for all of his colleagues to know about it. Penny may have improved her persuasion skills enough to convince him to act, but his reservations against it were still in play. He didn't want to serve as comedy relief for the people he worked with. He expressed as much to Siebert who seemed confused but quickly understood.
"I don't think I'll ever understand just how one of the most premier research facilities in the world can so often be like a juvenile playground, but I understand your hesitation. Understand this though Doctor Cooper, we won't advertise your new talents amongst the staff, but the only thing that travels faster than light in this University is gossip and eventually, someone will find out, and then the rest will too." Siebert agreed with a sigh.
Later that night, he explained his reservations to Penny, and after explaining thing his way - which she didn't understand - he repeated Siebert's words verbatim, and she understood. She promised him that they'd find a way to handle this, and Sheldon found it amazing that he felt strangely reassured by such a vague notion.
It was a few weeks later that she'd hit upon her answer. If she wanted to say it, the answer was elementary - but didn't want to trigger a Sheldon-lecture about how Sherlock Holmes never said elementary, or how it was taken out of context in modern culture or some other convoluted rubbish. They got along like a house in fire, and he was the sweetest, most romantic person she'd ever known - but he was still Sheldon and a lecture about accuracy was hardly such a big problem when she could stop him with a quick kiss. She thought Sheldon still hadn't realised he could be derailed so easily. The cheeky part of her couldn't wait until he did.
She even sat him down as she made her point in his whiteboard, which, given his reaction made her giggle, another naughty secret to explore with him later.
Sheldon didn't want to be mocked.
Leonard, Howard, and Raj would mock him.
Friends don't mock each other.
Quod erat demonstrandum
Leonard, Howard, and Raj weren't Sheldon's friends.
If they weren't friends and weren't on his Mortal Enemies list, they were acquaintances at best, strangers at worst.
Sheldon didn't need to live with or cater to the needs and wants of acquaintances.
Sheldon gaped at her and she knew his mind and his body ran on different circuits. His mind was blown by the simple answer, but the tent pressing against his plaid trousers was focused on her surprise use of Latin. Penny licked her lips. If that was what she had to look forward to, she'd have to stash away one of his white lab coats to surprise him with later.
Eventually, his mind and body snapped back to reality, and he quickly hugged her, a low breathy chuckle against her neck as he twirled her.
"You're amazing Penny. Would you come with me?" He asked her once they stopped spinning.
She just smiled and nodded.
It was the next day when the opportunity came. They were in the apartment for vintage games night and Raj was complaining about his rent increasing when Penny gave Sheldon a nudge.
"Ahem. I think I can help remedy this situation, Rajesh. I have been contemplating moving to a separate apartment closer to the University for a few weeks now. If you'd like to take over my lease and move in with Leonard, it will help everybody with minimal problems." Sheldon announced.
Shock. Everybody was hustling and shouting over one another. Leonard looked surprised. Howard and Penny looked shocked. - although he surmised Penny was simply employing her acting skills - Rajesh and surprisingly, Stephanie looked interested.
"Why were you thinking of leaving? And why didn't you say anything to me?" Leonard whined.
In accordance with their preparations last night, Sheldon responded as rehearsed.
"I was having trouble optimising my new routine, and after some research concluded that moving closer to my place of employment would rectify all the issues I was facing integrating said routine." He affirmed. "And I didn't say anything to you because I'd only decided on it last night and this is the first time we've spoken since then."
"What about your OCD habits? Will you even be okay moving somewhere else, where you can't get lifts from the rest of us?" Leonard asked snidely.
"Contrary to popular opinion, I did manage by myself before you moved in Leonard. Additionally, by moving closer to the University, I am in turn within walking distance of both Caltech, the comic bookstore, and the train store. The only place too far to walk would be the cheesecake factory, which I've recently replaced with Big Boy Burger for my Tuesday meal." Sheldon rebutted.
"You're not going to the cheesecake factory anymore?" Leonard asked in part shock and part glee as he'd be around Penny less often. His gleeful mood was burst a moment later.
"Yes. Penny recently quit her waitressing job and I didn't want to deal with the burden of waiting for another waitress to become competent enough to handle my usual order without error."
"Aww thanks sweetie." Penny chipped in, drawing Leonard's attention.
"Why did you quit your job at the cheesecake factory Penny?" Leonard asked, but with an accusing tone.
"I've had some luck with my acting career lately, so I didn't need to work there anymore. It was tough even working there for as long as I did. It was only ever meant to be temporary." She confirmed.
Before Leonard could respond, Raj cut in gushing.
"Oh, Penny congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" He cheered flamboyantly, causing everyone to glance at him for confirmation of the bottle in his hand.
"What sort of roles were they? Anything like serial apeist?" Howard cut in with a leer.
Penny just gave him a look of disgust and then smiled at Raj and Stephanie who were congratulating her.
"So, since apparently Sheldon is moving out!" Leonard shouted over the din. "Do you wanna move in Raj?"
"Maybe dude, I'll have to get back to you on that one. It was a surprise." He replied.
Stephanie gave Raj and Leonard a look that only the other girl in the room could decipher - Penny. To her, it seemed like Stephanie was going to fight with Raj over the apartment, which she thought would be a good thing. She'd realised Leonard was easier to handle now that he was with Stephanie.
When the evening wore on and everyone was preparing to leave, Sheldon and Penny were sharing a quiet moment in the couch watching Doctor Who - the same episode she'd first seen him recreating in the roof - when they heard Stephanie and Leonard arguing in their bedroom. They shared an equally grim glance as they listened in.
It seemed like Leonard wasn't as keen on Stephanie moving in as she was. It was ironic that he had difficulties advancing their relationship when it seemed to be the other way around with him and Penny; he'd advance, and she'd have to retreat.
Howard and Raj paused in the living room, feeling awkward but at the same time desperate to find out the latest gossip first hand. Sheldon and Penny both rolled their eyes. They were like boring housewives sometimes.
The argument went on for another twenty minutes, from screaming matches that made Sheldon's body lock up until Penny took his hand, to silent whispers that left Howard and Raj creeping closer to the bedroom to listen. They flinched back and unsuccessfully tried to act natural as Stephanie stomped out of his bedroom, grabbed her bag from the couch and stormed out of the apartment.
There was a tense silence until Leonard came out, sweating with a suspicious palm-shaped mark on his cheek. He tried to act natural but failed wholeheartedly if the look in Howard and Raj's eyes were any indicator.
Penny took this as her cue to say goodnight to the guys and head back to her apartment but was caught be Leonard.
"Hey Penny, where are you going?"
"Back to my apartment, it's getting late." She replied.
"Oh, that makes sense. Would you like me to walk you back?" He asked with what he thought was a chivalrous smile but came across as the wrong kind of sultry and made her skin crawl.
"No thanks." She said firmly, causing another awkward mood to linger in the room.
"Why not? We're friends, aren't we?" Leonard pushed.
"Yes, but I don't need company to walk ten feet." Penny said, dead set on stopping his poor attempts to enter her private life again.
She was disgusted. He'd been with Stephanie for six months and had barely spoken to her during that time. But now less than five minutes after breaking up - being dumped - he was acting like they were best friends. She wondered how she'd ever thought of Leonard as the 'good guy'. He was just another manwhore but in a different wrapping.
"Hey, come on, it's no big deal. I can walk you over and you can tell me all about these new acting roles you've gotten." He smirked.
By this point, even Howard looked uncomfortable. He was a disgusting lech most of the time and even he felt awkward watching Leonard's attempts to manipulate crash and burn.
"No need Leonard, I spoke about it earlier on while you were arguing about Raj moving in."
"Why are you acting so weird Penny?" He pushed and finally she decided to drop her bomb.
"We've barely spoken in months Leonard, plus I don't think my boyfriend would like the idea of you being in my apartment so late."
Leonard gaped. Howard and Raj looked surprised too, but Leonard was stunned. The red rising in his cheeks however, set off warning bells in all their heads.
"What boyfriend?!" Leonard raged.
Penny rolled her eyes. "The boyfriend I've been seeing for a few months now, obviously."
"How could you! And why didn't you tell me?" Leonard spat.
"Honestly Leonard, how could I what? Date someone? I'm free to do as I please. And like I just said, we've barely spoken for the past six months and when we did it never came up." She answered simply.
Leonard was just shy of foaming at the mouth. It made Howard and Raj look wary and had Sheldon gripping his fists tightly. He didn't like the way he was talking to Penny, and it was only the quick look she gave him that kept him where he was.
"And who is this guy you've been having this affair with?!" Leonard sputtered poisonously.
Now Penny was the one with a violent look in her eye.
"An affair?! I've never cheated on anybody in my life! How dare you accuse me of that!" She ground out.
"Well, what do you call dating some jock and not telling me?" He spat back.
Penny sighed and rubbed her forehead. She wanted to be nice about it, but it seemed Leonard wouldn't stop trying to be the victim until she cut him down to size.
"Right, first things first buster. Don't you ever make me out to be a cheating whore again or I'll go junior rodeo on you so fast your ancestors will feel it." She said with a glare, instantly quelling Leonard's ire. Meh immediately switched from self-righteous indignation to a mixture of puppy-dog eyes and a sad pout. Penny could tell he was about to start whining but she wasn't done with him yet. He'd actually really pissed her off, she'd expected him to kick up a fuss, but the way he made everything about him while her moonpie sat there furious made her snap.
"No! Don't you start making those faces. We went on two dates! One of which you tricked me into! We didn't have a relationship for me to cheat on you to begin with! You've been dating Stephanie for six months and barely spoken to me, and I've been dating my boyfriend for four months by now and we're very serious." She saw Sheldon perk up a little and suppressed a grin. He was so adorable sometimes. "He helped me get those new roles I told you about, he helped me sort out my budget so I could quit my waitressing job. He cares for me, and we spend a lot of our time together and I'm even moving in with him soon. You don't own me after one proper date that was ages ago. AND you just finished a relationship you were in. You don't get to act like we've always been together." She ranted.
By this point, Sheldon looked the same as always, but Penny could tell by the way he puffed out his chest a little that he felt vindicated. Raj and Howard looked equal parts mortified on Leonard's behalf and half-overjoyed at the drama they were witnessing. Raj even sat back down and picked at the leftover popcorn watching them. Leonard by this point was shaking and pale and sweaty. She'd feel bad but he pushed her to it, and it made him look even greasier than normal, so he looked disgusting.
"But, what about us?…" He barely got out.
Penny sighed. "There isn't an 'us' Leonard. Maybe at one point there could have been, but you missed your chance and I've moved on. I'm even moving out as well as moving on. You need to do the same." She finished as she left.
There was a silence in the apartment as the door closed. Sheldon didn't really care. He'd taken Penny's advice to heart about them being strangers, so he was just counting the seconds until it was socially acceptable for him to leave and go to bed.
Leonard looked crushed. He took a quick glance at Howard and Raj and saw the mirth they were trying to hide and felt absolutely embarrassed. All of them were nerds. They'd struck out with women before - except Sheldon who didn't have a deal to begin with - and they'd shrug it off; but after Penny, then Leslie Winkle, then Stephanie; he'd started to feel like he was a stud. He felt handsome and cool and actually started to look at his friends with disdain. Back when he'd act girls out and get crushed, he was already at rock bottom, so it didn't matter. But since feeling like he was on top of the world for a while, the rejection made him feel utterly embarrassed. Like the veil had lifted on his delusion to reveal he was just as pathetic as the rest of them.
When Howard and Raj realised, they were caught, they awkwardly said bye and shuffled off, while Sheldon calmly said good night and went to his room.
Leonard sighed. When did things go so wrong? He absently noted that Sheldon had been changing quite a bit lately as well - he didn't offer Leonard the non-optional hot beverage.
He supposed at a time like this, most people would seek support from friends and family, but his friends just left, and he could already imagine the soul crushing vitriol his mother would spew if he told her about any of this.