I woke up. I was stuck in a dream.
You were there. You were tearing up everything.
We all know how to fake it, baby.
We all know what we've done.
We must be killers, children of the wild ones.
Killers, where've we got left to run?
"We Must Be Killers" by Mikky Ekko
Every gun at the gate was trained on either Murphy or Clarke.
Murphy, who was used to this sort of treatment by then, stared them down unflinchingly. The only sign of his unease was the restlessness of his eyes which flickered quickly from guard to guard despite the stillness of his body held taut atop his horse.
Clarke licked her lips, narrowed her eyes, and settled herself higher in her saddle before speaking. "My name is Clarke Griffin," she called out, voice hard and clear in the quiet of the dawn. The end of the sentence was divisive. She had no more to say.
There was movement behind the gates, but no one responded to her.
"They don't recognize us," Murphy told her out of the corner of his mouth.
"Why would they?" Clarke responded as she jerked her head towards him, and then, louder. "I need to speak to my mother Abby. We're from the Ark. This is John Murphy."
"Jesus," a voice called from inside the gate beyond Clarke and Murphy's line of sight. "That's Clarke and Murphy! What are you idi- let her in! I know them!" The gates started to grind open, and Harper slid through the gap as soon as she could fit. "Clarke!" She shouted, face completely alight with glee as she jogged towards them. "It's so great to see you!"
"Hey, McIntyre," Murphy responded sourly as Clarke smiled at Harper.
"It's good to see you, too, Harper," Clarke said fondly. "Thanks for vouching for us."
"I'd vouch for you any time!" Harper said, holding her hand out to Kanati's nose. He shied away under her touch as Clarke dismounted.
"No, I've had a great time while I was away," Murphy continued. He slid down off of Selu in much the same awkward way that he had mounted. "You shouldn't have worried so much about me."
"Is my mother asleep?" Clarke asked Harper as she took Selu's reins from Murphy and began to lead both of the horses through the gates of the Ark.
"Probably," Harper answered with a shrug. "The only reason I'm up is because Bryan and Miller were going at it. Couldn't sleep."
Murphy arched an eyebrow, amused, while Clarke ducked her head in embarrassment at what had quickly become unfamiliar intimacy.
"Sorry," Harper offered without appearing apologetic in the slightest. "Misery loves company, right?"
By now they had entered the gates and crossed the yard. Murphy was meeting all the curious stares head on, but Clarke was avoiding as much eye contact as she could. She tied Kanati and Selu to a railing in the yard and headed into the Ark with Harper and Murphy close in tow.
"Where have you been?" Harper asked Murphy, falling back in step with him as Clarke quickly followed the worn path to Abby's room.
Murphy shrugged, rubbing at his nose. "Oh, you know. Here, there, getting tortured by Grounders. A day in my life. I'm touched you noticed I was gone, but I'm especially pleased you've finally noticed I'm back."
Harper grinned and bumped him with her shoulder which caused Murphy to startle back into looking at her. "Well, you're one of us. Plus, you look like shit, so I figured you'd have an interesting story to tell."
"Is that all I am to you?" Murphy asked, mock-offended and scrambling to regain face after being taken off guard by Harper's concern. "A pretty piece of ass and a-"
"Wait here," Clarke cut him off. She opened a door and ducked in as Harper and Murphy stopped short. Harper was already starting on a retort to Murphy as Clarke closed the door behind her. "Mom?" She called softly, pausing just inside the threshold to let her eyes adjust to the greyness of the room.
Abby scrambled out of bed and was on her feet in an instant at the sound of her daughter's voice. "Clarke?" She called, rubbing sleep from her eyes even as she headed blindly towards Clarke.
"Yeah, Mom, it's me," Clarke said with a smile as wide as her face would allow.
Abby had no words. She wrapped her arms around Clarke and pulled her in close, pressing the flat of one of her palms to the back of her head and burying her face in her neck.
Clarke hesitated for only a moment before she put her arms around her mother's waist and pushed her lips against Abby's shoulder.
They stood like that, silent, for a long while, before Abby pulled away to brusquely grab Clarke's shoulders and quickly check her daughter over in the low light. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine, Mom," Clarke said quietly and started to say more before closing her mouth and shaking her head at the last moment.
"What?" Abby said, as perceptive as ever. "What is it?"
Clarke reached up to gently brush some of Abby's loose hairs from her face and heaved a weighty sigh. "We have a lot to talk about."
"Of course we do," Abby replied, dismissive, and returned to her steady inspection of all of Clarke's visible skin.
"No, Mom," Clarke insisted. Her face and voice were grim enough to finally fully gain her mother's attention. "We need to talk about the Chancellor." Clarke's words seemed to kick-start something in Abby, who physically jolted in Clarke's arms and pulled away.
"We need to find somewhere to hide you. You can't stay here." Abby was suddenly frantic in a much different way than she had been before.
"I know, Mom, but we need to talk. We-"
"Hey, hey, the lady's sleeping in there!" Murphy's voice rang out from the hallway. He was purposefully speaking loudly enough to be heard through the door.
Abby groaned and moved to stand between Clarke and the door. "Oh no," she whispered as Clarke cast a quick glance around the room for somewhere to hide.
There was a rattle at the door and then, from Harper, "Why do you think we're waiting out here? She's not up yet!"
A quiet thud of weight being pushed against the wall resounded through the room, and then the door was flung open. Pike stood in the threshold of Abby's bedroom, flanked closely by Hannah in the hall. Murphy stood tight to Harper's side and both were looking to Clarke for direction. Clarke, for her part, ceased her silent search for a place to hide and stood tall behind her mother, chin up and eyes on Pike. Abby's pose was so similar to Clarke's that their relation was striking.
"Chancellor," Abby said, her voice restrained. "Will it be your continuing practice to burst into ladies' rooms in the early hours of the morning, or is this a special occasion?"
Pike genuinely chuckled. "Cute, Abby. Clearly, though, this is a cause for celebration!" He took a long step inside the room, hands up and open in a practiced effect of joviality. "Hannah stopped by to let me know that she'd seen your daughter come through the gates, so I had to drop in to welcome her home myself." He took another large step towards the mother and daughter.
Abby reached sightlessly behind her for Clarke, who caught Abby's hand in her own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Well, thank you," Abby said. Her voice was thin with forced sincerity. "But we'd like some time to say hello again before accepting visitors."
Outside, Harper had turned her frustration to glaring at Hannah. Murphy's eyes were still steadily on Clarke, waiting for his cue.
Pike sighed at that, looking truly distraught. "Unfortunately, Abby, this isn't a social call." He let his words hang in the air as silence reigned.
Murphy cleared his throat. "Listen, Pike-"
"Murphy!" Clarke snapped, her head whipping towards him.
Murphy threw up his hands at her over Pike's shoulder, but he shut his mouth.
"You know what I'm here to do," Pike said, voice grave, wasting no attention on Murphy, and he took another step closer as he spoke.
Clarke and Abby stepped back in unison, and Abby jerked her hands towards Pike, palms up and pleading, in an unintentional mimicry of his earlier gesture. "You don't have to do this," she whispered, but Pike was already shaking his head.
"I wish I didn't," he took another step forward, "but I really do."
When Hannah moved forward to block any hope of exit through the door, Clarke stepped around from behind Abby to make eye contact with Murphy and started talking as quickly as she could in a low rush. "Murphy, you need to-"
"That's enough," Pike cut her off, grabbing her by the arm and turning her around to begin to bind her wrists.
Suddenly, everyone was moving and talking at once.
"Murphy, you have to-" Clarke was actively pulling away from Pike's hands.
"I know, I will. Now shut up." Murphy told her firmly.
"Pike, what do you - on what grounds are you-" Abby stepped towards Pike, but Hannah had crossed the room in an instant and quickly laid her hand on Abby's shoulder. Abby whirled in place and started towards Hannah, but just as quickly Harper was behind her and looped an arm around Abby's waist, tugging her back.
"It's okay, Mrs. Griffin," Harper said, voice reassuring as she leaned towards Abby's ear. "We'll figure this out."
"Harper's right," Murphy called from the doorway, and Clarke and Abby both marginally relaxed in the arms of those restraining them. "Besides," he added, catching Abby's attention from across the room as Harper released her hold, "We're going to need a minute alone to talk."
Pike had finished binding Clarke's wrists with considerable ease once she had relaxed under his hands, but once he started tugging her towards the door, her panic arose again anew.
Abby, who had barely ceased her furious stare-down of Hannah, turned back towards Clarke at the sound of her struggle and jerked into action towards her daughter at the fear on her face.
"It's fine, Mom, it's okay. Everything's gonna be fine." Clarke stumbled backwards over the threshold as Pike pulled her past it, and Murphy, Abby, and Harper all moved to catch her instinctively before she righted herself.
"Clarke! No! I can't - I can't lose you again!" Abby lunged towards Clarke, and although Harper scrambled to reel her back in, Hannah had already moved threateningly after her.
"Back off," Murphy hissed, stepping towards Hannah and angling himself in front of Harper and Abby.
"Mom, Mom, it's fine, it's gonna be alright," Clarke called, still half-heartedly fighting against Pike, just enough to stay within her mother's view but not enough to enrage him.
"Clarke!" Abby jerked towards her daughter with enough intensity to slip from Harper's grip and was halfway across the room to her before Murphy caught her around the hips and drug her a few steps back to Harper.
"That's enough," Pike finally ground out as he pulled Clarke out of sight.
Hannah smiled with insincere kindness at Abby, who was still tugging feebly against Murphy's arms, before following Clarke and Pike out the door.
Abby shook herself free of Murphy's arms only once the sound of her daughter had faded away. "We need to find Kane."
Bellamy ducked out of the Ark and stood just outside the make-shift doorway, leaning against the glimmering metal of the broken-down space station behind him. He scanned the crowd once and then again, looking for someone he clearly couldn't find. Frustrated, he closed his eyes and scrubbed his hand over his face. He left it there, over his eyes, mouth screwed up, and sucked air in through his nose.
"Bellamy!"
His head jerked up to find Miller crossing the yard towards him. "Good news, I hope?" Bellamy asked, although his voice was completely devoid of any optimism.
"Nah," Miller said with a shrug, entirely unperturbed. "No news on Kane."
"He's made himself real scarce," Bellamy admitted as Miller turned to lean against the Ark beside him.
"I do have other news though," Miller quickly added, shifting uncomfortably in his guard's jacket. "Guess who's back."
Bellamy jolted and turned towards Miller, immediately scanning his face frantically for any give away of his emotions. His eyes were narrow and severe, hearkening back to the days just after the landing of the dropship when Bellamy ruled them all with an iron fist.
"Woah," Miller said, holding up his open hands, "fine, don't guess. Murphy and Griffin came riding in on - get this - they came riding in on fucking horseback this morning."
Bellamy a forced an exceptionally hoarse laugh and near violently shook his head. "You're kidding."
Miller shrugged. "Hand to God," he responded, even as he kept as steady of a watch on Bellamy's reaction as Bellamy had just been keeping on him.
"Funny timing, though," Bellamy remarked quietly as he relaxed back against the steel behind him. "O showed up late last night, too."
Miller released the tightness in his muscles at the normalization of Bellamy's reaction and turned back to face the bustle of the grounds of Arkadia. "I'm telling you, man. Something's going on out there. Something big."
The sun was bright, approaching the middle of the sky and shining heartily for one of the first true days of spring when Kane crossed the grounds just outside of Arkadia on Selu's back. The horse was obviously and incredibly unamused, prancing sideways underneath Kane's weight with every step and tossing her head against the reins. Kane was keeping up a soft, quiet murmur for her benefit that was comprised entirely of nonsense words that meant nothing to Kane and even less to Selu. Kane was riding bareback, and the overstuffed black bag slung over his shoulder was smacking against his hip and Selu's flank with every hard-fought step the horse took.
Kane was within a mile of the tree line and wasn't slowing.
"I dunno, Monty," Miller said as he shook his head. "Bellamy's acting weird. Really weird."
Monty scoffed and rolled his eyes for good measure. "Weirder than when he decided to go along with Pike?"
Miller frowned at that. "Hell, as far as everyone but us knows, you're going along with Pike too."
They stood in the hangar, leaning together against one of the inner-walls as they watched the busy movement of daily life on the ground. Miller was holding his machine gun loosely against his chest, but Monty's pistol was settled comfortably into the strap on his hip. The morning sun filtered in through the open hangar door, leaving Monty and Miller with a full view of the yard as well as of Raven on her back working on the rover just out of earshot in front of them.
Eventually, Monty heaved a sigh. "Necessary evil," he said quietly, even while he nodded at Shawn Gillmer as he passed through the room.
"No, man," Miller persisted after another pause. "I'm telling you. Bellamy's acting even weirder today than he was just a few days ago. I dunno, maybe it has something to do with his sister and Clarke being back."
Monty startled at that and turned to face Miller. "Octavia's back?"
"Yeah," Miller confirmed and shifted the gun further back up his chest. "He told me a couple hours ago. Said she came in sometime last night."
Monty frowned so steadily at the side of Miller's face that he finally caught on and turned to look at him. "Miller," Monty said quietly, sudden intensity written on his features. "Have you seen her?"
"Nah," Miller started, "and honestly, I'm a little mad that she hasn't dropped by to say-" and then the realization visibly flashed across his face. "Oh, shit."
Both boys turned on their heels and took off at a sprint. They scrambled around corners in the maze-like corridors of the Ark, both moving at a dead run. At one corner they hesitated, but Monty soon remembered the direction and jerked Miller by the elbow after him as he took back off.
They weren't able to hear Octavia's hoarse, periodic shouting until they had already pulled the door ajar.
"Finally!" Octavia barked, her voice even throatier than usual. "I've been sitting here screaming all night." She was curled up on her bed, legs akimbo, wrist bloodied, and hair wild. The darkness under her bloodshot eyes showed her exhaustion, but she shook her handcuffed arm at them with all the normal anxious energy that usually accompanied her every move.
"Bellamy?" Monty asked quietly, and Octavia just sighed.
Miller fished a key from one of the inner pockets of his jacket and knelt before her. "Why did he do this?" He made quick work of the lock, and she rubbed at her wrist, rolling it around to pop the joints, as he tucked the handcuffs into his jacket.
"There's a blockade," Octavia immediately responded. "The Commander's got Grounders encircling us."
"Grounders?" Monty repeated, completely thrown. "Why?"
"Because of my stupid brother," Octavia growled. She was on her feet now, cracking her neck. "It's Heda's response to his massacre."
"Jesus," Miller said quietly, his head hung low. "That must be why Clarke and Murphy are back, then. They can't stay outside the blockade."
"Clarke's back?" Octavia asked, visibly shocked. Then, after a long beat, "Wait, Murphy? John Murphy? He's back?"
Monty chuckled genuinely. "Yeah, I had the same reaction."
"I thought that the asshole was dead," Octavia murmured to herself but quickly switched the subject. "Clarke can't be back, though. She stayed with the Commander."
Miller shrugged, unconcerned. "I don't know what to tell you. Bellamy says she's here, and I have guard duty for someone in solitary tonight."
"It doesn't matter if she's here or not," Octavia said suddenly, her laser focus back on the pressing subject at hand. "Bellamy won't listen to me, but you two need to spread the word, and I need to speak to Kane. There's a kill order on any Skaikru who passes the line until Pike's in Heda's hands."
Miller leapt into action, sweeping up Octavia's jacket and sword where they had been discarded on her bed over the course of the night. "You need to go! Now! Kane's outside the gates, and he's heading towards the forest."
Octavia was instantly all movement, catching the supplies Miller tossed at her and heading for the door of her room with all the speed that Miller and Monty had ran to her moments ago.
"I need to speak to the Chancellor!" Clarke tried, but her voice was scratchy with overuse and severely lacking in authority. "I have important - I have life or death information that he needs to hear!"
The door in front of her was still firmly closed.
Clarke stood against it, her forehead pressed against the metal and eyes shut. Her muscles were limp, arms hanging, and she pulled back only to hopelessly bang her head forward against the door once more. "Please." She waited a beat, and, of course, nothing happened. Irritated, she turned and paced around her cell, making a quick circuit of the empty room that was once someone's living quarters. For now, it held nothing more than a bare cot and a wash basin. She circled back to the door and curled a fist to pound against it when suddenly it creaked. Clarke instantly stepped back, hands up and palms forward, the picture of perfect contrition and innocence.
The door opened all the way and Bellamy stepped through, a tray with cutlery and an opaque blue plastic cup and bowl balanced precariously. He nodded to someone out of Clarke's line of sight who closed the door with a heavy click.
"Oh, Bellamy, thank God," Clarke said, instantly relaxing and stepping towards him, but Bellamy stiffened and Clarke froze.
"Clarke," he greeted her with a firm nod. He stood perfectly still just inside the room with the tray gripped tightly in his hands.
"I - Bellamy," she repeated, brow furrowed, momentarily at a loss for words and falling back to his name thoughtlessly. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is everyone okay? Octavia made it back, right?"
Bellamy just set his jaw and stepped past her. He set the tray gently down on her bed and moved to step back around her, but she sidestepped in front of him to cut him off.
"Bellamy, talk to me," Clarke demanded, hands on her hips.
"Where's Kane?" Bellamy growled as he suddenly crossed his arms across his chest.
"Kane?" She asked, her face clearly showing her genuine confusion. "I have no idea where Kane is. Last that I knew, he was here. Bellamy, as soon as I got here, Pike came and-"
"You don't know where Kane is," Bellamy repeated, voice monotonous and face blank. The veins on his crossed forearms stood out clearly with the strength of his tensed muscles.
"No, Bellamy!" Clarke agreed, vehement, knuckles white on her hips. "I really don't. I don't even know why you're asking about him. But it doesn't matter, you have to listen to me. The Commander, she-"
Bellamy threw down his arms and moved to step around Clarke again. "I'm tired of hearing about the Commander," he snapped. "The only thing I need to know about the Commander is that she is doing everything in her power to set us up for failure."
Clarke was shaking her head before he had even finished his sentence which stopped Bellamy in his tracks. "This isn't about her. There's a bl-"
"You'll defend her until you die, won't you?" Bellamy snarled, lip curled back with his fury. "You're so...so blindly enthralled with her that you can't even see-"
Clarke let out a bitter laugh. "I know someone else who's too blind to see!"
Bellamy snapped his mouth shut and continued past her.
Clarke followed him close behind. "I'm sorry, Bellamy, I didn't mean it like - but you'll die if you-"
"Are you threatening me?" Bellamy growled, voice dangerously low as he whirled back around to look her in the eye.
Tears instantly sprung to Clarke's eyes at that, and she blinked several times in rapid succession to hold them back.
Bellamy softened a bit, muscles beginning to relax. "Sorry," he said, whisper quiet and looking somewhere over her shoulder to avoid her meeting eyes.
Clarke succeeded in battling away the wetness and set her jaw. "I would never threaten you," she said just as quietly as he had been speaking, but she spoke quickly in contrast to his measured anger. "I'm saying this for your safety. I'm saying this for everyone's safety. There's a blockade at five miles out in every direction. Anyone from the Ark who crosses the line will die."
Bellamy's eyes widened, and he took a hurried step back from her. They stood for a moment in silence as Bellamy worried his lower lip between his teeth, thinking hard. Finally, his eyes sought out Clarke again, and he stared directly into her eyes as he spoke. "Until when?"
Clarke's mouth had been half open as she searched for the words to make it right, but at his question she quickly snapped her jaw shut and pressed her lips tightly together. She shook her head twice in quick succession and moved to turn away, but Bellamy reached out and caught her by her upper arm to pull her back towards him.
"Clarke?" He questioned, all the hardness back in his voice.
"I can't," Clarke responded as she looked up at him pleadingly, eyes scanning his expression for any hint of the Bellamy she used to know. She hesitated for a moment and then made her decision. "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Bellamy asked, genuine confusion flickering across his face.
Clarke shook her head again. "Because you're not on my side right now," she mumbled, jerking her arm from his grip and retreating back to the cot. She dropped her gaze and sat, her elbows braced against her knees and her head in her hands as Bellamy stared, taken aback. There was a long moment as Clarke avoided his eyes before Bellamy finally turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.
He stood for a moment, starting at the flat metal door before Pike startled him as he cleared his throat to Bellamy's left.
"Anything?" Pike asked quietly.
Bellamy licked his lips and nodded, turning to look at Pike. "We should go speak in your office."
Pike silently nodded his acceptance and turned to head towards the office, but Bellamy stopped him with a hand on his shoulder before Pike had taken more than a step.
"Chancellor?" Bellamy asked quietly, looking back towards the closed door of Clarke's cell, flanked on either side by an armed guard. "Thank you for not interrogating her."
Pike frowned, taken aback. "Oh, I'm sorry, Bellamy, but I thought you already knew. We're going to interrogate her. I'm just letting her stew for a bit first."
Raven, Jaha, and Alie were huddled together in the depths of the Ark. Raven was sitting, legs swinging, on a table, and Jaha leaned against one of the panels of flickering lights. Alie stood just to his left, hands clasped and head cocked as she thought. The sound of the Ark was alive here, even after it had faded in most of the rest of the Ark, because what little power Raven had routed back through the Ark was sourced from this room.
"So, say that Polaris really did lead to Polis," Raven speculated. She leaned back, propping her torso up with her hands stretched out behind her. "Where does that leave us?"
"It has to mean something," Jaha insisted as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Thelonius is right," Alie agreed after a moment of wide-eyed processing. "It is too unlikely that this is merely coincidence."
"But Polaris was never part of the Ark," Jaha mused, eyes closed as he thought. "Becca was on the Ark."
"If Alie two was anywhere on the Ark, I would have fou-" Raven started, a vague hint of irritation surfacing through the calming effects of the City of Light.
"I know only," Alie interrupted, and Raven closed her mouth immediately, "that Becca was in space. It's possible that she was never on the Ark after all. It's entirely possible that she was on Polaris instead."
"Then what's the connection between the 13th station and the Grounders? Even if Becca was on the 13th station, it was decimated." Calm again, Raven's face was completely blank, even as she reasoned through the possibilities.
The only sound was the hum of the Ark for a moment as they all considered the idea until Alie spoke. "Unless Polaris came down to Earth."
"It didn't," Jaha insisted, not even opening his eyes to confront her.
"There was no record of Polaris in the Ark at all, other than the stories," Raven pointed out, coming around to Alie's theory. "Who's to say the stories got it all right? It's been passed down orally for a hundred years; there could be details missing."
"Earth would have been nearly impossible to survive," Alie said. She blinked twice and then said, "Becca's survival rate would have been near 0.0001%, without factoring in the low possibility of Polaris achieving a survivable landing."
"But it's possible," Jaha said quietly. "It's possible that Becca was on Polaris, and that she piloted it back to Earth and survived. It's possible that she brought Alie two down with her. And if she did…"
"Alie two is with the Grounders," Raven supplied instantly.
"I believe," Alie said, after another moment of quiet thought, "that we should begin with their leader."
"We're gonna get through this, Mrs. Griffin," Harper said with her arm looped around Abby's shoulders. Abby was sitting on one of the stretchers in the medical bay, her head cradled in her hands as she struggled to fight off the tears. "You helped me after Monroe, and now I'm gonna help you."
"You don't get to just come back in here and act like everything is okay!" Miller shouted from where he was standing near the door, with Monty beside him looking ready to pull Miller back at any moment.
"I get to do whatever the hell I want!" Murphy sneered and took one long step closer to Miller before Monty waved him back. Murphy stepped back immediately but the look of hatred was still plainly on his face.
"Oh, that old line again? Really?" Miller started, waving his arms violently to make up for his lack of opportunity to lunge across the room at Murphy. "Bellamy won't protect you anymore, Murphy. Bellamy doesn't give two shits about yo-"
"Am I interrupting something?" Jasper barked from where he was standing in the threshold of the med bay, and every other head in the room snapped towards him.
The first movement was of Monty stepping away from where he had looped his arm around Miller to hold him back. "Jasper," Monty said, starting across the room towards him, "what are you doing here?"
"I have a check-up," Jasper explained through his teeth as he gestured to the bandage on his neck, but he didn't look at Monty as he spoke.
Across the room, Abby rallied, fiercely wiping the tracks of her tears from her eyes. "Of course, Jasper, come on over, let me-"
"What's his deal?" Murphy interrupted, looking to Harper for an answer. "How'd he get that-"
"That's right!" Miller cut him off as he lunged threateningly forward, and Monty all but sprinted across the room to jerk him backwards again. "You don't know! You don't know what happened to Jasper! You don't know what's happened to any of us!" Miller shouted as he loosely tugged against Monty's arms around his stomach. "Because you weren't here! You left us!"
"You didn't want me here!" Murphy returned, incensed now. He was pacing rapidly back and forth to avoid taking advantage of the fact that no one was holding him back. "None of you wanted me here!"
"It's actually nice to see you, Murphy," Jasper called from the examination table where he sat with his hands placidly in his lap and his face pointedly bemused.
Abby shushed him as she peeled back the bandage on his neck, but Jasper was undeterred.
"Have you been back long? Haven't seen you around in months." Jasper winced as Abby, who had given up quieting him, began to clean his healing wound.
"It is not nice to see him!" Miller hissed, and although Monty had again relaxed his grip on him, he was forced back to the mantle as Miller jerked forward.
"Come on, guys," Monty started, but he was quickly cut off by Jasper.
"I dunno about that," Jasper insisted, but the suddenly bitter grin on his face betrayed the edge of bile to his words. "I never minded him. He had my back in the very beginning with Wells. He didn't actually kill me after the whole spear thing which is apparently the height of kindness for the 100."
Miller and Murphy, who had been glaring at each other, both turned to stare at Jasper in shock. Murphy barked, "You like me?" at the same time as Miller cried, "You can't be serious!"
Jasper shrugged, and Monty, exasperated, began to pinch the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
Murphy immediately took advantage of the momentary ceasefire and crossed the room to stand next to Abby as she silently prepared Jasper's new bandage. "Listen, if you don't want to trust me - well, normally, I'd say that's fine, but this time I'm telling you. If you," he paused, and turned to look at the others in the room who were begrudgingly listening, "if any of you want a shot at surviving this, if you want to do what Clarke thinks that we should do, then you need to listen to me."
"How do we know this is what Clarke wants?" Monty spoke up, picking his head up from his hands.
"Clarke was trying to talk to Murphy as Pike was taking her away, but he told her to shut up." Harper pointed out from her place on the cot where she had been watching the proceedings with an expression somewhere between amusement and disgust.
"Yeah," Murphy agreed, rounding on Harper with irritation, "because she was about to implicate me. She realized that. She shut up, didn't she? If Clarke was trying to talk to me before she was taken away, don't you want to listen to me?"
Abby finished bandaging Jasper's neck and turned to Murphy with a sigh. "Fine," she said. "I'm willing to hear you out."
"So generous," Murphy grumbled, but when Miller grunted and took another aggressive step forward, Murphy held up his hands apologetically. "Sorry. I'm trying, believe it or not."
Harper pointedly cleared her throat to urge him on.
Murphy heaved a sigh. "Well, the first thing you need to know is that we're at war. The second thing is that we can trust the Commander, and the third is that the Grounders want Pike's head on, well-"
"Don't say it," Harper interrupted with a groan.
Murphy just smirked. "I'm sure you all get the point."
The mess hall was filled with people. Residents of Arkadia crowded around the bar where food was being served as well as around the tables scattered throughout the spacious room. Monty and Bellamy were in a corner with their backs to the wall watching the chaos as they quietly spooned up their stew. For a time, they were both comfortable with the silence, but eventually Monty pulled his guard's jacket tighter around his neck and sighed.
"I keep expecting to see Monroe," he said quietly, face drawn.
Bellamy pressed his lips together into a thin line and dropped his head.
"Stew was her favorite," Monty murmured with a spoonful paused part way to his mouth. "She said she could feel the warmth in her bones."
"I'm sorry," Bellamy started without meeting Monty's eyes, but he was saved from his near miss with emotional vulnerability by Raven dragging out the remaining chair at the table and heavily lowering herself into it.
"Why's everyone looking so sad?" she asked faintly, her face plastered in a vague smile as she arranged her own tray of food.
"We were just talking about her," Bellamy said gruffly, his voice laced with guilt as he emphasized the last word.
"Her?" Raven asked absently. She scooted her chair closer towards the table and her meal.
"Monroe," Bellamy quietly supplied.
Raven shrugged questioningly and began to eat.
Monty stiffened. "Raven, you didn't know?" He tried to catch her eye, but she was tranquilly slurping her stew now. "The last time we…went out, she didn't make it."
Raven paused with a distant frown. She swallowed her mouthful and then quirked an eyebrow. "Who?"
Bellamy physically recoiled in his seat. "Monroe, Raven!"
Raven blinked and took a sip of her water.
Monty was equally aghast but continued to valiantly try to remind her. "She came down with the rest of us. She was Harper's girlfriend. She-"
Raven's brow furrowed, and her mouth contorted into something resembling a grimace. "Oh, uh, right. Monroe. She died? That's sad."
Monty, who had not relaxed since he'd first broken the news, turned slowly towards Bellamy.
Bellamy was still staring, mouth agape, at Raven.
"Sorry to run on you, but we have patrol duty," Monty told her suddenly, since Bellamy's face was quickly twisting to an expression between rage and grief but with a heavy lean towards the former. Monty quickly gathered up his tray, and Bellamy followed suit.
Raven did not acknowledge them as they left.
"Is she okay?" Monty asked Bellamy under his breath as soon as they were far enough away from Raven in the throng of people.
"Did she seem okay to you?" Bellamy asked, voice hoarse and horror on his face.