Chapter 5: Farewell

August 10th, 1992

03:53 A.M.

San Ángel, Mexico

—

The hard ground of the Salceda's safe house was not comfortable but John Connor knew that as long as it was practical it would work. He glanced over his back to his mother sleeping a couple feet away from him. She and the Salceda children were all fast asleep but John couldn't sleep. His mother had insisted on staying up to watch for Enrique but Jolanda had managed to convince his mother that she needed rest. He had been lying awake for at least a half hour, thoughts racing inside of his head.

He kept seeing the fear on his mother's face when she was trying to wake him up to leave. Seeing her afraid, made him feel the same way; especially since she wouldn't tell him what was happening. It seemed as if she didn't really tell him anything about their lives. He didn't know why she was so terrified of the machines or what they really were. And whenever he asked about his father, she would give as little information as possible as if she was hesitant to say it out loud.

John shifted restlessly again and looked at his mother, eyeing the gun that was always close to her head. When she had placed one of them in his lap, he wouldn't dare touch it. He was afraid that if he were to shoot it that he might end up as paranoid as his mother. He didn't have to know a lot of details to know that she was always afraid and ready to run. He had been woken up countless nights to hear her crying or to find that she had already gone and done her workout for the day. His mother was more physically fit than anyone he knew.

John watched as his mother's eyebrows furrowed slowly before they went back to normal. He waited for a few more minutes watching as she began to shift around nervously, her face contorting into pain. He sat up slowly and pulled the thin blanket off of him, crawling to his mother's side. He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her.

"Mom?"

She pushed him away with her right arm but John got back up again, shaking her harder.

"Mom?"

Her hands moved up to his, grabbing his wrists as she moved to sit up, her eyes opening quickly. Once she realized who it was, she released him and let out a shaky breath, moving some of her blonde hair out of her face. John sat back down and pulled the blanket around his legs.

"Are you okay, mom?"

Sarah rubbed her eyes slowly as she shook her head.

"No. I…"

"Nothing's happened, mom. We're safe."

Sarah blue eyes locked onto her son's speaking a little harsher.

"We are never safe."

John watched as she glanced around the shelter and spoke softly.

"What are you looking for? Those machines? Mom, they're not here. There's no way they can find us."

"They can always find us, John."

"They're not gods."

Sarah ignored John and moved as if to stand but John caught her wrist before she could fully rise.

"Where are you going?"

Sarah knelt down on the ground across from her son.

"We have to leave, John."

John backed away from her, confused.

"What? Why?"

Sarah placed the pistol in her lap and looked at her son.

"What if it had been a machine instead of those guerrillas? We would have had no way of knowing it was going to come. It would have just showed up and killed all of the Salcedas before it would have reached us. I didn't have my gun on me, John. It would have cornered and killed us too. We cannot put the Salceda family in danger any longer. We have to leave."

"Mom, no one knows we are with the Salcedas… nobody. And if something were going to come, we would know."

Sarah shook her head slowly, fiddling nervously with the trigger on the pistol.

"The Salcedas have helped us long enough. We need to be out there, alone, away from anyone who could get hurt because of us. And if we don't leave and something happens to any of the Salcedas, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. It's safer if we leave now and not tell them where we are going."

"You don't even know where we're going! Mom, we don't have anywhere to go because no one knows we are here."

Sarah glanced over to the sleeping Salceda siblings and leaned closer to her son.

"Quiet down, John."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know, John. I don't want to either but we have to for their safety."

"What about our safety? Aren't we safer with someone who actually has money and a place we can live rather than out on our own with barely enough money to last us a day?"

Sarah placed a hand on John's shoulder and bent down so that she looked directly into his green eyes to see tears beginning to form.

"Honey, we'll make it work. I'll figure it out. I promise. Right now, I need you to get ready to leave, okay?"

John shook his head slowly, looking away from his mother as he tried to fight the tears that were coming. Sarah's voice softened as she looked over her son.

"I know you're scared but we can do this, John. I know that the Salcedas are family and that I am asking you to do a lot right now. But that's… that's only because I need you, John. I need your help right now. And I promise you that someday we'll come back and we'll visit them again."

John didn't reply to his mother's comment and looked over at the sleeping Salceda children. He didn't want to leave them. Franco, Paco, and Juanita were like his older siblings. He couldn't imagine living without them… but he also didn't want them to get hurt because of his family. A single tear fell down John's cheek as he turned back to his mother.

"Okay."

Sarah leaned forward and wrapped her arms around John, holding him close to her. John sniffled softly for a few minutes before he pulled away and reached for his shoes. As he was tying the laces, he noticed his mother walk away and sat there, wishing there was another way.