DARK DUCK: FOWLed

CHAPTER ONE

PART 6

Reflections

After getting a sandwich for Gosalyn to eat and promising a return to Eider for training, Drake drove Gosalyn home. With so many things in his head, he was working hard to concentrate on the road.

"Dad ..."
"I've got to drive, hon."
"I love you, dad." Gosalyn's voice had a trace of quiet sadness in it.
Drake's eyes filled with tears that he blinked fiercely back. "... Concentrate." He had to empty his head.

It gradually became easier, and they were back in the suburb, and then back in their driveway.

It had been a long day for both of them as he let Gosalyn back into the house. Drake stepped into the hallway, staring in through the kitchen door on the left. All that food he'd eaten, and it turned out it had little to do with being hungry.

'It doesn't fill you up, of course.' Eider had given Drake no room for doubt that he had to grin and bear it. At least now he understood what the problem was ... he shuddered away from the thought. What had happened with Steelbeak? What had happened with Launchpad? What had happened at the baseball park? Why hadn't he noticed?

"Dad?" Gosalyn's soft voice roused him, "You gotta move sometime, you know."
He turned about; Gosalyn was now in her nightgown, standing on the bottom stair. How long had he been mulling things over for? Even the sun had gone down! "I lost track of time there."

Gosalyn went into the kitchen, turning on the light and set to boiling the kettle and making herself a hot chocolate.
For the first time all day, Drake eyed Gosalyn's drink with interest. "That smells good."
Gosalyn looked up at him, "Really? Well, that's gotta be a good thing." She grabbed out another mug and made him one as well. "Want any milk in yours?"
Drake hesitated, "No. Thanks."

Gosalyn sat down at the kitchen table and Drake joined her.
"I think it's really good that you didn't figure it out yourself, dad."
"How do you come to that opinion, Gos?"
"Because it means you can still see people as people." She took a long breath. "The number one thing about vampires is drinking blood. It sort of is the definition for a vampire, or you'd be something else."

Drake looked away from her, feeling uncomfortable. Blood, blood, blood. Now that Eider had put the idea into his head, he couldn't seem to get it out. "I guess knowing is the first step to dealing with a problem." He worked to focus on his milk-free hot chocolate. The taste was rich and sweet.

"Next thing is sunlight."
"I'm alright with sunlight."
"No, dad, you're almost alright with sunlight." She corrected. "That makes me think, that if you're not careful, you really might go 'poof'."
"... 'Careful' ... how do you mean?"
Gosalyn shrugged. "I'm being intuitive, dad. That sort of thing usually works out for me." She leaned forwards and kissed his forehead. "Don't worry; I'll take care of you, dad."

"And I think you should definitely go back to Mr. Eider, but just in case, don't let him make you do anything evil, okay?"
A streak of panic ran through Drake like Megavolt had taken a pot-shot at him, "evil?" He squawked.

"No, no! I mean, I don't know what he's really like or anything. I'm just covering off the checkpoints," she yawned and finished her drink. "Goodnight, dad," Gosalyn left the kitchen and went up the stairs.
He stood up but then stopped, "goodnight, sweetheart."

Every second was driving him crazier with misery as he listened to Gosalyn brushing her teeth upstairs; "I have to," he shook his head and went up the stairs to catch her climbing into bed.

"What sort of father would I be if I didn't tuck you in?" He kissed her forehead. There was a new, overpowering smell of mint toothpaste and mouthwash surrounding her. "I love you, sweetie."
"Don't forget the date with Morgana, dad," Gosalyn said sleepily before she drifted off to sleep.
Drake tightened the covers around her and he went to the door, closing it behind him. He sighed; the ache in his body had subsided. He rubbed his head. "What was that?" Because, whatever the cause, it certainly wasn't hunger.

Down the stairs he went and picked up the phone sitting on top of the small hall table. How embarrassing, he really hadn't remembered the date, even though it was every Sunday. Currently that was Morgana's night off from the restaurant while she was still training her staff. He clenched his hand around the phone, his body and head were aching again. Really, all he wanted was to forget the phone call and keep the date tomorrow. But logic and reasoning said that was not a thing he should do until he had a better understanding of what was happening with him.

He dialled the number.

"Hi, Morgana." He could die for cutting back the time he had with her. "I ... I'm not well, I'd better not ... can we leave our date till next Sunday?"
"Are you alright, Dark?"
"No." He answered deftly. With the mess of confusion in his head 'no' somewhat underplayed it. "I hope I'll be a little better by next week."
"Well, you let me know if not okay? Take care."
"I love you, Morgana." He couldn't get enough of just the sound of her voice. "I miss you already."

Drake hung up the phone with a sigh. "This is terrible. I need to sort this out."

Drake imagined the security level reception area in his mind, the brown picture, dots and swirls, the little glass table and the brown fabric chairs. A moment of concentration on it saw him back at Hamil Corp.

Drake gazed at the picture, wondering what relevance the artwork could have to vampires, or security.
Lawrence Eider approached him. "Okay, Mallard." He led Drake down the corridors and opened a door for him, gesturing him in.

They stepped into an empty room, a vast space with nothing in it. Eider shut the door, plunging them into pitch blackness.
"Will this exercise help me to block emotions?" Drake asked hopefully.
"Whose emotions, Drake? What's to say that everything you feel is a lie? What's not to say that you're just an empty sea shell on the beach of life, a forever echo of existence?"
Drake hesitated, "because I can hear you."
"Ah, good. So then if I exist, you accept that you also exist?"
"Yes." Drake spun around. "I can hear you circling, what are you, a shark?" Drake's insides immediately twisted as a wave of discordant emotions swept over him. "I'm sorry. Well, I did mean it, but I didn't mean it to upset you."

Drake hesitated, a worrisome thought occurring to him ... "Do I usually have this effect on people?"
"You need to determine that for yourself."

"Now, I want you to think back on the people you've encountered since last night. Is it just with me, that you get this barrage of emotions?"
"No. Some people I can handle their emotions, some people I can't."
"It's not even that easy, because you naturally feel differently towards different people. Gosalyn, for example; don't you think by virtue of being a father that it makes you a better person around her?"
"I've ... never been big on self-reflection."

The room slowly grew lighter, the lights became brighter.

"What do you see?"
Drake turned around. "Wall to wall mirrors." He whispered in horror. There was no reflection of either of them.
"You, me, and a room full of reflective surfaces." Eider took several steps away from Drake.
"How is this possible? There's no scientific basis. Light reflects off of any object with tangibility."
"Sure, you're tangible; you're just a little out of phase. The effect is doubled by the time it comes back from the mirror and that's just enough to put your reflection out of the realm of perception."
"Like when the picture is out of sync with the soundtrack?"
"Exactly."

"So I don't show up in a photograph?"
"A photograph? Sure, you will."
"But a camera uses mirrors." Drake gazed at the empty mirrored room.
"It also uses time. Essentially, a photo is a visual record of a time interval compressed into one still frame. It collects the data across the interval that the shutter is open. The longer the time frame is, the better the picture."
"I'll ..." Drake stared at the impossible empty mirror room. "Keep that in mind."

Eider pushed Drake closer to one of the mirrored walls. "It's always important to remember the empty mirrors, because they bring us back into ourselves. Who are you, Drake? Are you just adrift in the waves of the endless emotions of others, washed up on the shore empty, no mind or heart of your own?"

Eider stepped away. "Some vampires hate mirrors. It's because there's literally no image to hide the truth behind. But I think it's vitally important." Eider stepped towards the door. "Take the time you need. Come back to me when you're ready for the next lesson."

"The truth," Drake gazed at the mirror room as the door shut. Now he was singular and alone. Alone. There were no one else's thoughts in his head for once. "Who am I?"

Drake was acutely aware, that when he left this room, the thoughts and emotions of others would inundate him again. He needed to know where he began and ended so he could separate himself from the others. "I am ... Drake Mallard. I am Darkwing Duck." He began. "I am Gosalyn's father." He hesitated. "I am ..." He stood there, thinking. "Heck, he's right; who am I?"

Drake straightened to invisible attention, trying to summon his memory of how he used to look, how he should look. The longer he stared into the mirror, the harder it was. "I need a photograph or something... Oh, gee, thanks, Dorian." He frowned at his superficial turn of thoughts and tried again.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night ..." he stared through the multiple rooms, "I don't need a reflection. I am Darkwing Duck!" He spun around on the spot, feeling very solidly in the room for the first time in what felt like ages. "Defeat? Not this mallar-va-er-whatever!"

Drake straightened himself, thinking of his family's legacy and how much he owned it as a part of himself. "Delay, not defeat the Mallard; I am a Mallard," he said proudly to himself, "next lesson."

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt